Not all movie monsters are created equal. – Let’s talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪ – Good Mythical Morning! – As a kid, I would watch old monster movies with my grandpa on Sunday afternoons. I’m talking, like, Godzilla, – King Kong, Frankenstein. – Mhm. But it turns out that for every Godzilla, there’s, like, at least 100 horrible… knockoff monster impersonations of different types of monsters… – Yes. – …that are all b-movie stuff that’s just ridiculously horrible. And today, we are gonna experience our favorites together. We’re gonna start with the Galaxy Invader from a 1985 movie called – the “Galaxy Invader.” It’s a – Okay. direct-to-video sci-fi film about an alien being hunted by a gang of drunken hillbillies who see him crash land in his spaceship. He just wants to get his laser egg back home, and they apparently don’t want him to do that. – His laser egg? – Uh, yes. The Galaxy Invader — (Rhett) here he is — he kinda looks like a guy getting ready to go duck hunting – while wearing a baby bjorn. – (laughing) That’s true! No discernible powers that I know of other than this light camouflage that – he’s wearing. – (Link) And, to clarify, he is the one… – …on the left. Okay. – (Rhett laughing) Yes. (Rhett) And the laser egg: I think the laser egg is interesting. It’s an interesting thing. It’s a laser egg. He wants it back. – Of course he does. – We’re gonna see a scene here where some of the country folk who have been chasing him encounter him. And I think that this is a controversial decision amongst the group, – as you will see. – Okay. – ♪ (synthetic orchestra) ♪ – (both R&L) There he is. (laughing) Just standing there. Whoa! Point blank! Yeah. He’s not doing a lot to evade the gunman. – Picking up a new gun. – Yeah. I think that’s one of those… – …Nintendo guns. – Why is he just squatting there… – …shooting him? – Oh, because he makes it easy. But they’re not happy about this. As you can see, this man who is… – They’re wrastling each other. – Here comes a lunch lady. The lunch lady’s like, “I don’t know what to do about this! But…” That’s quite a fight scene. It’s like UFC, man! Yeah, look at — oh, she’s concerned, too. – ♪ (synthetic orchestra) ♪ – (characters grunting) – Okay. – He’s gonna choke him. You know how a lunch lady uses a rifle, Link? – She rares back. And then she… – Stops. At the last second! – (crew laughing offscreen) – …rares back. And then she rares back… – Is she taking aim? Oh! – (character screaming) – (laughing) – What?! – She was packing quite a punch… – She knocked him off the cliff? …in that rifle, and you never saw it comin’. Actually, I did see it coming, – like five times. – Well, I don’t think we should be as afraid of the Galaxy Invader. We need to be afraid of the lunch lady! – Oh, yeah. She’s something else. – That’s crazy! Don’t lay down next to a cliff when she’s around. Okay. I’m gonna take you back to 1965: b-horror film “The Sting of Death.” Karen and her college friends — you know Karen and her college friends… Oh, yeah. Hanging out with her college friends all the time. It’s spring break. She takes her friends to her dad’s laboratory. He is a marine – biologist. And her dad’s assistant, – Great vacation. – Egon. His name is Egon. He has a crush – Hm. on Karen, and her friends make fun of him for it… – Okay. – …which is a big mistake, because then – he creates a jellyfish man monster… – Mhm. – …that then goes on this killing spree. – Okay. (Link) Here is a picture of the jellyfish man that he created. (Link) It basically looks like a spider laid a giant egg sac on the top of – a deep-sea diver. – (Rhett) Or somebody that’s had an… – …accident while taking the trash out. – (Link laughing) So, in this scene that I’m gonna show you, Egon is telling Karen the recipe he used – to make this jellyfish man monster. – I think I know the recipe, but okay. – We’ll… we’ll see. – A trash bag. So yeah, he reveals the – monster to her. – Okay. (Egor) “All the bright marine biologists said they couldn’t be grown.” – “But I found the answer.” – Found the answer. – “Sea water.” – Sea water. – “Electricity.” – Electricity. – “And human blood.” – And human blood. – Of course. – Huh. Those three things. “These were the chemicals that I stole from your father’s lab.” – He’s just giving the recipe away! – “That’s how I did it.” – Yeah, I know. Anybody can make… – Anybody can do it now! – …a jellyfish man. – “Look. Look at him.” – Look at him. There he is, Rhett. – Oh! Okay. – “Look at my creation!” – Look at him. – Look at my boxers. – (laughing) I don’t have time to wear pants, man. I don’t have time. I’m making jellyfish man. – Look, look, look, look, look! – Are those horse hooves? – No, those are his hands! – Oh, wow. He’s a little slimy. – And there’s his tentacles. – He needs a tissue. – There he is. – And there’s the trash bag. – Egg sac on his face. – Oh, but you can se the guy in there! – Yeah, you can see his face! – Clearly see the actor. – (laughing) – Well, I guess the guy’s gotta see. – I mean, he’s gotta act. – (over-the-top screaming) And she’s acting. Whoa, look at her! (screaming) She’s pretty worked up about it. “There’s a man in a trash bag that’s filled up with the air that he’s breathing!” He was kinda scary. And now we can make him. It just needs, uh… – Sea water, electricity, and human blood. – Electricity, sea water… Yeah. We could do it right now. Why are we even asking this show? Let’s go make – a jellyfish man. – All right, how about 1956: “It Conquered the World.” This is a 1956 sci-fi film. Basically, a well meaning scientist guides an alien monster to Earth from Venus, so he can rid mankind of all feelings and emotions. – It doesn’t go well. – I’ve been looking to get rid… – …of those, too. – The monster is “It.” That’s it. “It” is the name of the monster. The monster is It. And here he is right here. Kinda looks like a large squash? – (Link laughing) – …with a big underbite and… – …hotdogs for legs. – It looks like something that would be at a demted Disney parade. It would have wheels under there, and it would just roll, which I’m guessing is what they actually did, right? And it’s interesting, because it seems like it would be easy to incorporate this thing in the movie, because it’s [oddly] just a guy in a big, upside down ice cream cone. But they waited until the last nine minutes of the movie to reveal It, and this is when he’s revealed. – ♪ (horns) ♪ – Got a pretty lady in a cave. You know – this is gonna be bad real quick. – Misty cave. – Hello. Whoa! What’s that? – That’s It. – That’s his eyes? Ooh. – That’s It, Link. – Oh! – She’s got a few words for him. – “So that’s what you look like.” – Yep. – “You’re ugly! Horrible!” – You tell him, baby. – “Just go on. Try your intellect on me.” – Oh, he’s smart, too? – Yeah. – Why can’t he talk if he’s so smart? – Well, he can roll towards her. – “You think you’re gonna make a… – …slave of the world?” – But I’ve got a gun. – “I’ll se you in hell first.” – Oh, let him have it! I don’t think this thing’s going to hell when it dies. The CIA is listening in for some reason. I’m not sure why. – (woman screaming) – But that’s not enough to save her. Those floppy tentacles are barely touching her. – Oh! – Yeah, those aren’t made out of rubber. – She just hit one and it goes pff. – It’s just like.. It’s just like when you slap a little bit on it, and then you just — Die, man! Look, I’m touching you with my floppy tentacles! – Oh. – See? There you go. All right. I’m excited about this one. “The Godmonster of Indian Flats.” If you haven’t heard of this, well, you’re about to see why. This is a 1973 – movie. A mutant sheep embryo develops… – Of course it does. …and escapes the laboratory, and goes on a rampage near a ranch in Nevada. – Okay. – The monster is called the “Godmonster.” I guess it’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse. – (laughing) Oh ho! – So he uses his stealthy mutant sheep-iness to sneak up to picnicing kids and gas station attendants in this clip I’ve made, which is absolutely amazing. Brace yourself. – “Do you believe in the monster?” – Look, the kids are just having a good… …time out at the park. Oh, but there’s something in the background. You can see that he’s got one long, floppy arm and one short, floppy arm. Yes, I see that. That is a large arm. There’a a problem with that arm. – You need to have that looked at. – It’s basically a prehistoric sloth – covered in, like, dryer lint. – Kids, I would scream, too. – (crew laughing offscreen) – I would be going into that house as well. – He’s got a paper mache face! – Ph, that’s why. Yeah. – But he likes picnic food. – Yeah, he just wanted to eat the picnic. He didn’t want the kids. And now he’s at the gas station. Oh, look at this guy. (radio) “I repeat: keep all children off the streets.” – Keep all children away from that guy. – (radio) “…24-hour surveillance…” Oh, I think there he is, in the background. Paper mache face! – Oh, you know what? – Wreaking havoc! He’s an environmentalist. He doesn’t like gas. – This guy’s acting is amazing. – Oh, he certainly won and award for this, – …this scene. Look at that. – Rah! – That is a lurching ball of dryer lint. – He’s got some huge ham hocks. – Look at those things! – And then, double explosion! Something tells me that Chevron was not a sponsor of this film. I mean, just think about the money they spent on this explosion. And I’m not the greatest producer, but I would have advised them to allocate some of the money away from the explosion into making a better suit! Well, how about just in the face area. I think we could’ve gotta a rubber face – instead of a paper mache face. – But that’s pretty scary, though. I mean, when you’re picnicking, you don’t wanna see that over your shoulder. – A floppy long arm. A floppy short arm. – Well, I’ve got an incredible costume. This is definitely just a moment in movie special effects. 1972, “Blood Freak.” American horror film. This is about a drug-addicted Vietnam veteran biker who takes a job working on a turkey farm. Of course he does. And then there’s an – experiment going on my some scientists… – “Any openings at your turkey farm?” …at the turkey farm. And so he says, “I’m gonna submit myself to this procedure, or this experiment,” and then after a brief seizure, he ends up becoming a half-turkey, half-man, hellbent on drinking the blood of other drug addicts. And when I say half-turkey, half-man — you can see him here — I mean a guy with a turkey head. I mean basically a dude with a turkey mask. This is like Halloween… you know, last-minute Halloween costume. But no, this is the – actual villan in this thing. – Okay. And in this scene, we see the turkey man doing his thing, which is getting some – blood from a drug addict. – Let’s see it. So this is what Rebecca Black did before… – (Link and crew laughing offscreen) – …before Friday. She acted in this film. She had quite a career. Oh, wow. There he is. He’s got quite a beak. He’s got that girl strung out – on a ladder. – Yeah, that’s what you use the ladder for. And he could be using his beak, but he’s gonna use this little knife. – Oh, no. – You’re gonna wanna look away… – …if you don’t like blood, kids. – Oh! – Rebecca Black can’t look away though. – (both) Ooh! Hold on, listen to her screams. (scream) And then listen to this scream. – (same scream) – It’s the same! – And then listen to the next scream. – (same scream) – The were-turkey is drinking the blood. – I think potential a baby elephant has – just been born off camera. – (same scream) They’ve looped the same — ooh! He’s drinking the blood. No, Link. She’s just incredible at making the exact same face and exact same scream – sound over and over. – (same scream) Maybe she’s trying to give her wrist a hickey. I don’t know what’s – going on there. – She… they looped one scream – like 11 times in that scene alone. – But that’s what I wanna see Rebecca get back into, you know? The music videos are great, but if we can get her back into — Let’s have Blood Freak 2, Rebecca! Make it happen! No, but I’m glad that they preserved her voice. They said, “Okay, Rebecca. We’re just gonna get you to scream once. We’re gonna loop it. All you gotta do it bite – your wrist for the next 10 minutes. – Right. Let us know in the comments what b-movie monster we missed… – Yes. – …or what your favorite one is. And thanks for liking and commenting and subscribing. – You know what time it is. – I’m Capitan Winslow. – I’m Woody. – I’m Poe. – (evil laughter) – I’m Angle Branch, and we’re at the historic Windsor Hotel in Americus, Georgia. And it’s time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality! You can watch Good Mythical Morning 24 hours early only at – vessel.com/rhettandlink. Go there! – vessel.com/rhettandlink. Click through to Good Mythical More. I wanna introduce you to another b-movie monster. I got a puppy! – (both R&L) Whaaaat? – (laughing) – ♪ (celebratory fanfare) ♪ – Congratulations tooooo…. (Rhett) @lovebeads66. You win a personalized Good Mythical Morning. – I bet when… – (robot voice) @lovebeads66 – …asks for a small drink at the movies, – Yeah? – they give… – (robot voice) @lovebeads66 …a medium drink instead, at the same price. – Which is still overpriced, but… – (robot voice) @lovebeads66 …don’t care. [Captioned by Kevin: GMM Captioning Team]