if one direction turned evil would we be able to stop them I’m Justin green from Niles Michigan let’s talk about that good mythical morning this episode is brought to you by Smith makers of the songify application and now it’s time to announce the winner of the Smeal songify g mm jingle contest congratulations to mr. Cody Mull shine every morning I get up I can’t wait to check my subscription box for GM and Vine we can read congratulations Cody you win not one but two mythical shoes and a $100 gift certificate to the iTunes Store thanks for joining us today hi I don’t know if we’re on the cutting edge of all thing any trendy nothing we’re not on the cutting edge of anything but I have heard of the band One Direction I have heard of them I know that it is a phenomenon and that we should discuss it here so welcome fans of one direction and people who have barely heard of them alike all are welcome here now here’s a little refresher if you don’t know who they are this is a boy band from the UK they are incredibly popular they’re becoming incredibly popular in the US and worldwide they actually got their start on the x-factor they all auditioned individually mm-hmm they apparently none of them could qualify as an individual Simon Cowell said you know what these guys would be a very good supergroup he created the group they got third place in the x-factor they still didn’t win third place third place and now they’ve had socialist social media campaign late last year and they’ve released a few singles and they’re doing really well I mean one of their videos has like 100 million views on YouTube and they’re just blowing up you know young guys teenagers zucchini jeans they were all good hair out of a night lies SNL it’s just happening it’s a phenomenon watch out one Direction’s coming for you boy band they’re gonna beat you well watch out my other boy bands oh but also as you know many boy bands turn evil it happens pretty much every time yeah so as I thinking about this they start dressing in black they dye their hair and they eyeliner is that what you’re talking about well maybe crimes maybe underworld stuff black market type things who who knows I mean the seedy underside of boy bands is is a dangerous thing which will be a cool documentary yeah but anyway I don’t have to argue more on that immediately I have done some research on the Wikipedia and whatnot because my question was not win but if one direction turns evil I’m not you know I’m not saying they’re going to turn evil dump don’t don’t crawl on my back mr. monkey or whatever type of idiom you want to employ at this point I’m just saying if if they turned evil would we be ready we need to know the weaknesses of these five band members of it now first of all I don’t know what it is about having five NSYNC Backstreet Boys I even think going back to New Kids on the Block there was like five really I don’t know about them but it’s at least with NSYNC and Backstreet Boys it’s a magical number of five and they each have different personas that they kind of put out there which which I’ll kind of go through and it’s oh you know he’s the cute playful one he’s the funny one he’s he’s the one with the weak mustache and so so the girls they like to they like to be a fan of one oh my favorite is is Justin my favorite is Joey my favorite is Jorden so you’re saying our problem is there’s only two of us if we had go back in time and add three other guys we would be popular no that’s not what I was saying but you’ve given me pause to think of we should add three like young guys we need to get the average age of the band down to like nineteen so we need like three toddlers we can do that that red Lincoln three toddlers taking over the world it seems totally appropriate it just sounds like a bad movie that would star Danny DeVito on a Arnold Schwarzenegger and three toddlers and Martin alarm which is actually one toddler that they duplicate digitally it can be done that is a set of twins so they don’t get tired when you’re working with them but just to really back in here we’re talking about you know world domination by one direction turn to evil is at stake so we we need to focus here I’m going to go through these guys and I’m going to start I’m just going to go in alphabetical order and try to pinpoint some weaknesses that if we need to we can exploit Niall I think that’s how you say his name Horan who’s known as the cute little Irish one first of all he needs a little dental work but his weakness is his weakness dental paninis don’t work no his weakness is a fear of birds he has ornithophobia since he was attacked by a pigeon while on the toilet as a child I’m not making this up people so in order to use Birds against him do we have to wait till he’s using the bat yeah just wait till he goes into the port-a-john before the concert so he hasn’t actually be on the John Nord for the birds to be effective I take notes people because this could seriously happen they turn evil it happens you can’t just have birds and just go up to him he’s got to be on the John what else we have Zayn Malik the quiet and mysterious one oh he smokes cigarettes so if you wanted to hey I got some cigarettes you want to come over here into my trap like you seem like a lure yeah any on like a fishing line or if you want to run from it a footrace yeah do something to him then run from him he’s gonna get winded he can’t catch up with you that’s good Harry Styles the charming one his weakness he likes older women it’s been well-documented he briefly dated English television presenter Caroline Flack which caused widespread media controversy because of the 15 year age gap she was 15 years older than him so he’s got a thing for Cougars yeah bring in that bring in the older ladies if you want to if you want to if you want to get Harry Styles the evil Harry Styles to to succumb okay a cougar army check Liam Payne the sensible one his weakness he only has one functional kidney oh you know I’m not saying it’s you know I’m not I’m not trying to put the guy down I’m just saying if he turns evil we might have to exploit the fact that he only has one functional kidney so you need to know which side that is so you can kidney punch him in the side with the kidney or just flush him with fluids you know and he’d he’ll be debilitated he just can’t take it yeah you thought you shouldn’t make fun of a guy you know I’m not making fun I’m I’m just I’m just saying it do you know what the One Direction fans are gonna think about you now that you want to exploit the weaknesses this is he’s evil if he’s evil any Vance you know I’m looking out for all of us you you know you guys are gonna be you you’re gonna be subject to their powers louis tomlinson aka the funny one he has no detectable weaknesses I was not able to unearth any fact about this guy that could be translated into a weakness that was the best thing I best thing I got he does consider Michael Jackson quote a real inspiration in quote oh that could be a weakness we could you could you could dress up like Michael cuz you’re you look more you could pass for Michael Jackson little bit more than me here little frailer okay and and what start dancing start dancing in front of him I can lure him and lure him somewhere and I could have a cigarette in my hand you could and I could get two of them at one of them at once yeah within what then we unleash the birds cuz the one that it likes Michael Jackson and the cigarettes doesn’t like the birds I could lure them into a port-a-john and then it could be full of birds now seriously before we wrap this episode up because that was of course no that was all serious I I cared about what I said but I mean what do you what do you get I think the big question for a lot of people is is this a are these guys legitimate okay you know if people are Co saying it’s like Beatlemania all over again here in the US you got these these British guys young good-looking guys making music that all the Wonder Girls Irish okay guys from the UK and the girls are just fawning is it fawning is that what happens when women fawn over them falling all over the make up faint and they’re so into this I would say that first of all if the women are into it if the women are into it there’s legitimacy the mission accom mission accomplished so if you’ve got all these teenage girls going crazy over you I think you can’t deny the legitimacy of that it is a phenomenon there’s nothing that can be said about that but I think do compare these guys with the Beatles while it’s a great compliment to one direction it’s kind of a disservice to the because we’re talking about a songwriting duo that was innovative and genius these guys are doing manufacturing music that sure they may have had some sort of creative role in it but if you look at the people who wrote the songs to produce the song this is a mess this is a machine to entice young girls into this world of one direction you know it’s incredibly effective and just because you’re a young girl is into one direction it’s nothing wrong with that but this ain’t the Beatles baby let me tell you this is this is not innovative music this is reactionary music that’s manufactured to get girls to go crazy they find out what they want and they give it to them it works it’s the business I would say that they’re legitimate performers but maybe not legit as legitimate of artists but is that time will tell because what happens when you’re a teenager and you’re in one of these boy bands time passes you get a little bit older you get a little bit of a potbelly you start losing your hair and then the question becomes alright you don’t have your good looks anymore the skinny jeans don’t fit anymore are you a legitimate artist I actually I would I would disagree I would say the you know I to words tell me that you can not only have performance legitimacy but also move into artistic legitimacy Justin Timberlake you know I wouldn’t say I’m a huge fan of Justin Timberlake or a fan at all but you know when he started releasing his solo albums they were legitimate forms of artistry I have to say that I have to are is he paying you to say that oh yeah we we have an arrangement how come you didn’t tell me about this if you’re if you have a financial resource you tell me about it we share this this is rhettandlink man it’s a duo but you do see what I was struggling do you see what are you still tracking with me so it you know if this one direction these guys can go solo or even as band I don’t care you know this they can come into their own and build off of this frenzy and have continued to have legitimate careers they’re become seen as more legitimate artists right it’s it’s just time will tell kind of thing they’re totally legitimate right now because they’re a phenomenon are they gonna be legitimate long-term well time will tell let’s see how we’re gonna end as if it was a week spin link yeah I know I’m just gonna want to there’s no energy and has it been I just kind of wanted to get to it gibberish translator I’ll speak in gibberish and you tell the people what I’m saying okay Quinton Connick jr. in seepage I saw you see me Jean hi I’m rat is Richard is ETA on me sorry huh as you know I’ve done a lot of research on one direction lately but I have something to admit first but Benjamin ear beam equation or E or I am obsessed with the cute funny one but I angel fan watch angel and the one that needs a little bit of dental work yep if we’re going tiny on so if you’re watching first me is more than an envelop any members of one direction you have an open invitation to send me a letter and we’ll start PayPal correspondence right back home country hundred or Roberto hands Paul see you tomorrow hey KITT would you like some drugs the first one is free want to check out my van I got some candy