if you have plans to be attacked by a bear or shark or anything else make sure you watch this first I’m Loretta from New Jersey let’s talk about that this episode is brought to you by the all-new rhettandlink.com/store is that at rhett and Link calm that’s a good website name now Land Rover is a famous brand of vehicles link know about Land Rover they have a redesigned website Land Rover comm know lots of people recognize Land Rover as like the perfect car for a survivalist however I kind of see it as the perfect car for a woman with a lot of plastic surgery in Los Angeles because that’s who I see you driving Land Rover seen a lot of this it’s good for getting into steep driveways in the Hollywood Hills that’s what land rovers are good for but apparently they have a reputation for being the perfect vehicle for a survivalist somebody who’s just gonna go get into some mess somewhere and in the United Arab Emirates which is a country in the Middle East yes it is the Land Rover customers now with every Land Rover they get according to a late news story they get a survival guide on how to survive certain situations that also has edible pages what has edible pages in the survival guide and they have as many calories as a cheeseburger so yeah so you can eat you just got an alert on your iPad today a credit card yeah two of them actually I’m glad make sure you do that I will that’s why there’s an alert a key for our survival is that you pay our corporate credit card but so it’s like a manual for how to fix the Land Rover but it’s how to fix your life if you’re in a situation where you need to survive and part of the fixing of your life when you’re in that situation is eating the manual itself I think surviving and fixing your life are kind of the same thing today I’m not staying a lot yeah I use that those terms interchangeably but as I was only certain pages are editable like did edible do not eat this page do not need this page and then all of a sudden eat this page all the pages are ending if you’re really hungry with wite-out you can edit all the pages but you can only add a few of the big but as I was looking at this edible I gotta be pretty in the dire situation if I’m gonna eat a manual well it’s a flavor add a ball on it it has flavor we should call it Landrover see if we can get hold of some of these we’ll do that later but it made me think how prepared am I do I need a guide like this how prepared am i and so I actually went to a few websites one of them was Discovery Channel Discovery Channel has all kinds of information about surviving in all these different places so I’m gonna read out some situations that you might find yourself in okay I want you to tell me what you would do and then I’m gonna tell you what you should actually do now I’m glad you’re asking me this because as many of you know I survived high school without getting beat up and I talked a lot of trash so I’d like to consider myself a survivalist of sorts anyway not related I’m talking about that kind of thing a total editable survivalist now it’s me everybody knows one of the first things that you should do when you find yourself lost and you’re gonna have to spend the night in a hostile environment outside is you need to build a shelter now link what is the most common mistake made in building a temporary shelter digging a hole because if it rains you’re drown no that’s not true it’s actually making it too small I’m too large people make them too large especially when you’re in a cold climate the whole know the shelter the shelter needs to be tight and it needs to be around you so it will trap your body you don’t that’s caught a sleeping bag no no but you need to be able to get around and do things in there like make little fires and cook and catch things and bring them in if they need to make it big no just big enough then build a fire in it too well you might want to but don’t make it too big because body heat body heat now what’s the first thing you don’t dig a hole because you’re drown in it that’s not true you’re actually in the desert you should dig a hole and then cook doesn’t rain in the desert but if it does is a flash flood and guess what buddy you’ll drown now I think you’ll have time to get out what’s the first thing you do speaking of water when your car lands and water what’s the first thing you should do roll your windows up well since the second day first thing to hold your breath the first thing you should do is you should unfasten your seat belt and then hold your breath nope you should unfasten your seat belt cuz you would not believe how many people could have gotten out of a car that was sinking and then we’re buckle it up this is creeping me out man so as soon as you hit the water unbuckle your seat belt and then the next thing you should do before the car shorts out is you should roll your windows down are you we used joking what is it so you can become a ballast you’ll sink to the bottom your cut the fill but you’re gonna sink to the bottom regardless but laughs know what happens if you leave the windows up you sink and then the pressure the external pressure is so great on the outside of the car that you no human the Hulk couldn’t even get out of the car or break a window because the pressure is so high so you went down so you get you have an escape pod then you get out but now’s the door won’t open with the pressure oh you can’t open the door to forget opening the door I have a sick feeling even thinking about this happen well that’s the thing I’m gonna break this to you now right after this episode I’m gonna go drive a car with you in it into the LA River and you have to put all this into practice well I shall just hit concrete because there’s no water in like driving in a big ditch so roll your windows down and then if you happen to not roll your windows down you cannot kick the window it is impossible to kick the window up you have to take a sharp object and bust one of your side windows not the back window not the windshield because those are thicker bust a side window with a sharp object with our blunt object like a flashlight anything hard that we can kind of break the glass and go for the corner okay you’re gonna live because of this stuff you can do it you can live I’ll be there with you now if you happen to find yourself in the middle of a field during a thunderstorm with lightning and I’m talking a big field you cannot get out of the field okay like we’re talking an endless field say the desert the desert is not a field well let’s say it’s a desert it’s raining and you you built your whole you’re not drowning in your hole you haven’t built your hole yet alright thunderstorm comes up a minute a minute explained what do you do there’s no shelter what position should you get in let’s just get a little bit easier for you jump up and down repeatedly until the storm passes because that drastically increases your chances of being in the air when it strikes and then it won’t strike you but the good idea that’s a horrible idea yeah if you haven’t rope you can drop that not simulate jumping around whatever you do do not lie flat on the ground that is the worst thing that you could do because it’s gonna create a huge contact between you and the ground and you’re all the Lightning is just gonna hit and go through all your but your entire body you should get done she won’t be tall you should crouch down on the balls of your feet with your feet together to minimize your contact with the ground and put your hands over your ears to protect yourself from acoustic shock so you can nail him he’s he’s down on the balls of his feet with his hands over his that’s the lawyer thunderstorm position okay give me another one I think I’m doing pretty well I could write an alternate Survival Guide to all of this time you’ve missed all of them so far how did most people survive I mean how do most people die in quicksand they roll their windows down you’re in a car right do you know that it is impossible for a person to become completely submerged in quicksand quicksand that is a movie myth you get most it most you can sink to just above your waist now if you’re alone and you sink to just above your waist you’re gonna die so everyone who dies in quicksand dies of dehydration and or starvation who it isn’t from getting sucked up in the sand and so the way to prevent that when you found yourself a quick sane because I know this is gonna happen to you you lean back as you’re going as you find you lean back and then you move your feet in circular motions just like you’re brushing your teeth yeah circular I don’t brush my teeth of my feet and your feet will slowly rise to the top and then you’ll be laying on there and you can roll over be back floating okay now we’re gonna talk about animals because animals attack let’s say you’re floating in the ocean with some painte companions after your boat sinks what are some ways to avoid being attacked by sharks pee urinating is one of the worst things that you could do if you must only do so in small amounts let it dissipate between discharges you know aren’t hydrated go right into your mouth and if you must defecate if you must defecate do so in small amounts and throw it as far away from you as possible I’d do that anyway in all circumstances like a chimpanzee throwing is okay now other than rainwater and condensation what is a freshwater source while lost at sea you’re in a raft you’re at sea you’re dying of thirst can’t drink the water in the ocean everybody knows that what can you do where else can you get water and it’s not your own piece and I’ll say that you’re not supposed to drink your urine it’s a trick question I can’t come up with any other drink the aqueous fluid found along the spine in the eyes of large fish carefully cut the fish in half to get the fluid along the spine and suck the eye if you are so short of water that you need to do this then do not drink any of the other body fluids these fluids are rich in protein and fat and will use up more of your reserve water in digestion than they supply okay now we’re gonna talk about a few animals that you might get attacked by what do you do if you’re being attacked by a hungry monkey throw his feces back at him you could do that but you can also do the open mouth threat make an O with your mouth and lean forward and raise your eyebrows monkeys will be scared out of their mind do I have to make a noise that’s what I would do I would make a monkey sound back at him sound like crows and now crocodiles and alligators most happy what do you do in your when exact pattern that is false forget the zig zag thing that’s a myth they say that in that scent in that survival book but a Discovery Channel they say well actually I think this is somewhere else we’ll put the source up they say forget anything you’ve heard about zig zagging just a leg it just run they cannot run that fast that can run pretty fast but just go just get away as fast as you can if they do happen to get hold of you try to stick your thumb into its I oh just go for the eyeballs and then if you’re really thirsty you can drink the eyeball once you kill it and lastly this is the most interesting when it’s far as I’m concerned how’d you know the answer terror attacks what okay so I’m gonna talk about three different types of bears what do you do if you’re being attacked by a grizzly bear I take your shirt off hold it above your head to make yourself look like a huge beam that is incorrect when you’re being attacked by a grizzly bear first thing you should do if he’s making aggressive moves you should just stand straight up and back away very slowly do not panic back away very slowly but if he attacks you anyway you play dead grizzly bear you play dead you don’t fight back at all you play dead like just go limp and guys role just acting rag doll what do you do if you’re being attacked by a black bear call the grizzly bear that makes sense you fight back with grizzly with black bears first of all huh you want to give all somebody else you want to get bigger I’m crazy you want to get as many crazy noises you caught up there’s that’s here that’s what your characterization fight me back no I’m not crazy my not fighting he’s just about to attack me he’s gonna be intimidated and then if he begins to attack you just go crazy on him just fight him back with everything you got and lastly oh you got another one what do you do if you’re being attacked by a polar bear just speak gently hey man be cool be cool daddy oh no you give him a coca-cola that’s a joke I’m spinning the wheel don’t actually come on you die there’s really nothing you can do there is a video on youtube if a guy’s scaring off a polar bear with a stick but typically once it starts it’s over buddy you’re dead we’re gonna put Rhett shrinks and link grows that’s how we’re in in this episode good mythical morning thanks for joining us today oh what’s this on the table it says eat me and you’ll says shrink me do I grow or do I get you grow okay you’re getting so big to make a perspective oh good gracious I’m so tall look how small you can hold me I can see everything oh yeah Tony I’m wondering if you guys have any of those edible survival guides yeah they come in the Land Rover snow