can you own the porcelain throne let’s talk about that [Music] good mythical morning mythical beasts welcome to Monday this is a big week there’s lots of big things happen this week it might be somebody’s birthday pretty soon later in the week we’re gonna have a huge announcement that could be related to buddy system and we’re gonna celebrate our 1000th episode this Thursday make sure you don’t miss that please don’t squeeze that in real-time Rhett on average a person spends 92 days in the bathroom some people choose to do it all together in a year and I do not recommend it in year order like 92 days straight spread it out over your lifetime but then the question is if you pay that much if that amount of time over your life but how well do you know this porcelain throne I spent a lot of that you spending a lot of time on I’m gonna test you it’s time to play how much crap do you know about crappy little multiple-choice action multiple answers that you can choose between that’s why it’s called a multiple-choice toilet related facts to give four of these right you do not have to spin the rest of the day using the restroom in an outhouse that the crew built I have to do that but you got to earn that right otherwise you’re gonna be peeing and pooping and in what looks to be some sort of well I’ll show it to you gotta take anything outside all right let me give you let me give you three lifelines ask a plumber huh we have a real plumber here I’m sure we do I will unclog a hint for you mm-hm or you can just flush two answers if you want to narrow it down but let’s get into it so like I should be sitting on a toilet just three maximals gage just put your elbows on your knees there you go channel that but not too much one-third of Americans admit to doing this while seated on the toilet snap shutting is it video chatting oh yeah brushing their teeth flushing or reading the back of their shampoo bottle because the conditioners gotten so productive all right I do that I do read the bottles and I do snapchat as we have established I took a snapchat do key selfies like your really early on in our snapchat career I thought that was Instagram uh so what’s nice is a snapchat one third of American in my face is the first thing I ever put on his phone snaps it meant to doing that before flushing every moat more people than the third flush with hope courtesy flush brushing your teeth seems efficient that could be it well and problematic I would say but I’m gonna go just because I basically have done it video chatting eh no it’s actually flushing which surprised me that because I was thinking – it’s a courtesy flush your only third of people do that but I think what it does is it it’s the Birmingham bidet it gets the stuff that you don’t want that you just got rid of back up on you you know I’m saying I don’t I think we need to stop with the courtesy flushing oh no I mean it’s not courteous to your own behind to splash it with depends on the ones are coming out of your butt already what Matt why does it matter the little Dookie particles get around your butt do you wipe standing up because I’ve also heard that people do that I don’t do that now I’ll flush while seated but I will not stand that way on an especially especially thoroughly remind me to ask the crew because I think there’s many it is so personal already right off the bat in the 1930s the northern tissue company was the first brand to release toilet paper without what is it irritating chemicals splinters lead or propaganda sheet project or propaganda I can’t say or propaganda shaming women for using the bathroom propaganda that would be something else proper gamma ray Wow I really feel like it could be a B or C it so I’m going to ask you to flush to the answers all right I’m gonna flush a nd with my gamma ray so splinters or lead I could see how they would have made pay they would have made toilet paper out of like trees because they still do but like they hadn’t worked out the process yet don’t you tell me they make new paper out of trees that’s Christ so be could be it but lead they put lead in all kinds of stuff just as just a testing on people and babies back in those days so I’m gonna go with C led its splinter no day you are you’re your back is against the wall this restroom Oh which instantly I’ve seen that some people just wipe using the wall of a restroom oh it’s like how does that even happen no I think that’s an accident you tell me when you go into a restaurant know what happened in here but it’s like what it’s a wipe it’s streaked well cuz they try to clean it out there like leave this up to somebody else it’s it’s splinters it definitely was also back in the 1930s they would wipe with corn cobs Oh than that if you see it when you get done when you get done with your like Street corn yes send this out well you better let it dry let it dry don’t do it with wet corn it’s just abrasive enough in the US the highest number of toilet flushes occur when you gotta start getting some of these right man you comin in the outhouse I’m flushing myself is it Thanksgiving Day the Super Bowl halftime show the commercial break between wheel of fortune in jeopardy that’s a good time or every single Taco Tuesday uh wow I feel like I’ve heard this before and it’s either the Super Bowl or Thanksgiving Day but I don’t know I don’t typically take a potty break at the Super Bowl but I definitely let the load go on Thanksgiving probably along with all Americans so I’m gonna say hey no you kidding hotties wrong it’s a Super Bowl halftime show because think about that can’t be true how did I even measure that okay oh they measure across I think you’re getting too confused with most plumbers are called the day after Thanksgiving which we talked about before but everybody cycles are aligned I don’t think that’s proper terminology because the Super Bowl is across all time zones same thing everybody’s watching the same time and going to the bathroom at the answer I gotta get four out of the last five tonight have to use the outhouse well I’m gonna dig deep stick my hand right in the toilet dig deep considered the world’s oldest public toilet a communal dumping ground was excavated in Argentina that had once been used by hmm cavemen dinosaurs woolly mammoths or Larry King Betty White and Willie Nelson oh I’ll be there for that that’d be a great party line right up on the toilet again Wow okay I feel like I’m gonna have to get a hint from yeah you got to start using those live so I got to get ahead of the game here where’s my where’s my plunger oh I got my whole chair a punishment hole chair clever girl never girl convinced that’s my head how was it really a weird whatever a girl yeah it’s a tough hint this is a tough game what am I missing clever girl is a quote from a movie from Silence of the Lambs no it’s a movie with Dinosaurs it is that Land Before Time is it from that new fluorescing party oh oh so what’s your like many animals ah the dinosaurs would poop in designated areas to mark territory and reduce the spread of parasites which means dinosaurs have proven to be more considerate than some of our crew Alex we know it was you ELISA I saw you squatting in the corner it’s weird stop doing somebody Dookie that was just out on the ground yeah that was Alex we know it was you I thought I saw you have your name on it I thought I saw some bubblegum colored hair in it you got one right that’s great yeah I did thanks for the handlink the first American film to show a toilet being flushed was the shining there’s something about Mary psycho or the Goodfellas prequel poop fellas which I use Netflix that now it’s great well I know it’s either The Shining or psycho the psycho took place there’s a lot of scenes in a bathroom mm-hmm but the shining was at a hotel I’ve seen both movies but I have horrible recall mm-hmm Total Recall is also a movie there’s a woman with three breasts in it I would like to get a hint from I would like to ask a plumber because I just I’m really I’m really sending the plumber please tell me that we added that sound effect impo yeah we did already made it alright first phone to show a toilet being flush was what Mario pretty sure with psycho oh you don’t sound like try that’s better he’s never failed you here to work on that okay thanks Mario I’ve always agreed with you I’ve always chosen you unless I was forced to choose Luigi when my brother was playing you mean loogie which is what we call yeah yeah psycho final answer that is correct good work when I should have just gone with it man it was just paper just paper going down the toilet right in psycho I got to get two out of the last three come on many people wrote letters to the studio calling the toilet shot indecent yeah but they all love the woman getting stabbed to death in the shower part yeah I don’t write that was a good no letters about death a bidet is not just a water fountain for your but it’s also the French word for what a brief vacation a miniature horse a small screwdriver or the fourth Destiny’s Child a brief vacation locals are so smooth and cleansing a brief vacation that sounds rights like I’m taking a brief vacation from toilet paper or a small screwdriver because they twist that water right up into your butthole or a miniature horse why would it because because they used to use horses for this cuz you because it’s like sitting on a horse cousin well because I love miniature but I have absolutely no idea but brief vacation sounds nope but the small screwdriver that sounds painful okay wait you don’t use these things thank you a brief brief vacation it’s a miniature horse oh really yeah you added that cuz you liked I know a certain breed of tiny horse that is unfortunately now extinct was known as the bidet it’s called that and they used it they were great at cleaning their owners butts uh no they weren’t I hope they didn’t do this okay I got to get one of these right like if I missed this one I’m out to visit the world’s premier toilet themed park you need to book a flight to where Kanazawa Japan Suwon South Korea Yellow Springs Ohio quaint little town or Hollywood Boulevard with streets paved with urine Oh sadly that’s kind of true feel like this is gonna be Japan or South Korea and I feel like I know that it’s South Korea I’m gonna go with B book your ticket read you’re right look look at this picture they have bronze statues of people in pooping and peeing position old people young people all types of the everybody poops man we already know that there’s a book about it Park was built in honor of former mayor Simms I duck affectionately known as mr. toilet who devoted his life to improving South Korea’s old toilet system but those poor people that they bronzed for the park it’s horrible no they didn’t do that those are statues in his famous novel gargantuan and Pantagruel 16th century french satirist francois Rabelais claimed there was nothing better than wiping your booty with the neck of a goose the left hand of a servant the moss from the black forest or less aw man that ultra deprived see what you did there oh gosh nothing better than wiping your booty with what gosh come on goose I mean I’ll tell you right now it does sound good I mean Moss is gonna hurt left hand of a servants gonna be awkward the goose is just don’t sit there and take it I mean I know I don’t I don’t advocate it I definitely don’t advocate it don’t think you should try it but I bet you he said it I bet you he wiped his freakin butt with the goose and I’m gonna say hey the neck of a goose for the win if you ever see it goes with a brown neck give us some bread cuz it has had a bad day you are correct came back for the whole seven plus two I got to go you’ve got to use out huh alright we’re gonna take a look at this house here in a second thank you for liking commenting and subscribing you know what time it is hi my name is Austin I’m an English teacher in South Korea and these are my students it’s cooling down out there everybody and the only way to stay warm or the coolest way to stay warm it’s with a good mythical buddy available at rhettandlink.com/store look at the hood it’s got a hood you put this over your head do you know what yeah it’s amazing your fire is not real though click through to good mythical more where as gonna share his singing bowls and he just got you a song you’d a song about shearing sheep Hey look at the Sheep they’re so merry we’ll really it’s not as the same thing you can’t make some close the door knocking first order this week wrap it up you would just be you trial and error [Music]