A snack is a snack in this courtroom, if and only if, its first classification would be snack. – Yes, well, you can snack on a side, but that doesn’t make it a snack. – Welcome to “Snack Talk,” the show that answers every snack-related question you could ever imagine. You know, I’m tired of people telling me that they’re snacking when, in fact, they’re having a full-blown meal, but sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference. I mean, take for example, the hot dog. Forget whether or not it’s a sandwich. It’s a sandwich, by the way. Is it really a snack? Here to help us get to the bottom of the hot dog and other alleged snacks are our guests today. You know them as the hosts of the wildly popular internet show, “Good Mythical Morning.” They’ve got podcasts and they have a brand-new book out called “Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality: A Guide to Curiosity, Creativity & Tomfoolery.” Please welcome Rhett and Link! (laughter) – All right! – Gentlemen, welcome to the bodega. – Aye! – Do you guys call this a bodega? – We call it a convenience store where we’re from. – Gentlemen, please, have a seat. – Yes! – Let’s do this. – You just wrote a book. – Yeah! – That’s right! – Look at this good guy! – Yeah! – Fantastic! Can you tell us about it? – Yeah! “Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality.” So this whole mythicality thing is why we call our show “Good Mythical Morning.” – Right! – Because we colored mythical beasts after being held in from recess for writing profanity on our desks, in first grade. – Yeah, so there’s lots of stories from 30+ years of being friends. That’s probably over after today. I don’t know what you’re going to do to us, but it’s probably going to tear our friendship apart. (laughter) – Well, don’t hold these grudges. You know what I mean? We’re doing this as a service for the people out there that are experiencing snack confusion. You’re here to help us get to the bottom of whether some foods are snacks or not. – Glad to help. – Thank you! So what’s the parameter for you of what constitutes a snack? – I think you need to eat more than one in a sitting. – If you have to do anything other than open it and eat it, it is not a snack. – Well you can snack on a side, but that doesn’t make it a snack. – A snack is a snack in this courtroom, if and only if, its first classification would be snack. – Yes, but I think if you’re on the move, and you’re eating, you’re probably eating a snack. – Right. – Two plus two equals four on the couch and on the bus, man. – Whew! So I’m going to place some food on the counter right here. I’m going to count back from three, and after three, two, one, we’re gonna all say whether it’s a snack or not. Now majority is going to rule, but we are also able to sway each other’s opinion with a brief round of argument. – OK. – OK? Then, because we are supreme snack justices, and emotions will be running high, I will have this. (laughter) – You’ve gavel-ized it! – Indeed I have gavel-ized it. I will use this to maintain order, but also, once this hammer goes down… – The decision has been made. – The decision has been made. All right, here we have it. Peanut butter and jelly. Three, two, one! – Snack! – Not a snack! – What? Already? – It’s a sandwich, man! – Yes, but it’s hardly a lunch. – You got children yet? – This is what you feed your children? (laughter) This is their entire meal? – Exclusively. I had such high hopes for what my children were going to eat, but we just basically pump those things out. – Right, because they’re so easy to make because they are a snack. – Well, it’s so many food groups. Bread group, fruit group, peanut group. I mean, that’s a meal! – Just because it’s good for you does not mean that it’s a meal. – It’s assembled, and typically a sandwich is never going to be a snack. – There is a snack form of these, and you can get them out of a vending machine. It’s the little, do you know what I’m talking about? – Crustables. – Crustables, yes. That’s a snack, but this, my friend, is not a snack. – Peanut butter and jelly? (slam) Not a snack. – All right! Off to a great start. Muffin, one muffin. It was a two-pack. One muffin. Three, two, one! – Snack! – We agree. – No discussion here! – I think every time you’re eating a blueberry muffin, you’ve settled. – Yeah, it’s true! – You’ve settled. You couldn’t get something, so you settled for this. – Well, this was easy. – Yeah, super easy. – What are they called in the Supreme Court? – Unanimous! – Unanimous! By unanimous decision, (slams) muffins are snacks. Oh boy, that felt great! Grilled cheese. Three, two, one! – Not a snack! – Not a snack! – Wow! – We know what’s up! – I see you’ve come full circle on the whole sandwich thing. – No, listen! (laughter) The grilled cheese is far too complex of a preparation to be a snack. – You got to cook it. – Heat! – Right! You can’t make it — well, I can make it — but the average person cannot make it, say, in an office. – How do you make it in an office? – In the coffee maker on the hot plate. – Oh, you live here, huh? – Ooh, that’s nice! – I’m a mess, man. (laughter) You wanna know the best way to reheat pizza? Literally, the best way to reheat pizza? – Yeah. – Iron, flat, hair dryer. But it on the silk setting so it’s dry. You make, basically, a convection oven. That pizza bottom will never be so crisp, and that top cheese will never be so molten. This grilled cheese, in this form, is not a snack. (slams) All right, another cheesy product: nachos! Three, two, one! – Snack! – Snack, hands down. Though some people would argue with us. – They’d be wrong. – Well, what if they’ve got more toppings, like the fiesta platter or whatever? – Just because you’re dipping one part of the snack into the other part of the snack, does not make it an un-snack. – It’s like going into the playground and playing with the sand and you think you’re in a courtroom or something or something like that. It doesn’t matter what you do with the sand, you’re still in the sandbox. – All right well, there you have it. Nachos… (slam) are a snack! That was easy. Cupcake! Three, two, one! – Snack! – Not a snack! – Ugh! – Not a snack. You said snack? – I said snack. – Not a snack? How’s it feel? You’re dissented. – Let’s talk about this, guys. I’m not going to let this slide. You may overrule me in the end, but let’s establish some things. First of all, a cupcake is a glorified muffin, all right? If you showed an alien these two things, he would say, “Same thing!” (laughter) What about the sprinkles? “Same thing!” A cupcake is the snack form of a cake! It’s in a freaking cup! Cake: not a snack! Cupcake: snack! – Cake pop: snack. – Well if you put that on a stick, you can bet your ass it’s a snack. I’ve made my case. You guys know who’s right about this. – I will say, you can snack on a cupcake, but that does not make it a snack. – Phew, all right, well, there you have it. I’m sorry, but officially, with great pleasure, the cupcake is not a snack. – OK. – I hate cupcakes! – I hate them too! I really do. – I really do. Link, your old friend. – Ooh! This is one of my faves. We go ways back. – This is a tricky one, but I feel pretty sure about this. – Frosted Mini-Wheats! Three, two, one! – Not a snack! – Not a snack! – Not a snack! – This has been a meal. There’s been days where I’ve made this my three meals. – Right! – Because we know this is, first and foremost, a cereal, it is not a snack. – It’s not a snack. All right, well, there you have it. Cereal, specifically these Mini-Wheats here, are a meal. (slams) Now, Rhett, something you might be fond of. – Hmm. – Charcuterie with cheese. Three, two, one! – Snack! – Not a snack! Did I say that? I meant snack. (laughter) – It’s a snack. This size in particular is asking to be snacked on, and I’m going to have to answer the call. – Answer that call gleefully. – Look at that. – Woo! Pinwheel we call that where I’m from. – Yeah, uh-huh. I’m riding a pinwheel right now. (whistles) Pinwheel! – Looks a little greasy. – It’s definitely starting to render. Well let’s render ourselves a verdict. Nailed it! Charcuterie… (slams) is a snack. (slams) A pint of ice cream! Three, two, one! – Not a snack! – Snack in this form. – Hmmm… Not a snack! I’ve seen smaller versions of this, which I might be tempted to call a snack. There’s a smaller version. – What did you say about this? – Not a snack! – You don’t think it’s a snack? – There’s four servings in there, of your favorite snack. – Every time I take open one of these, which is not a term I’ve ever used. I usually just say open. – Every time you take it open? – I eat the whole thing without exception. I always say I’m just going to just eat a little bit, but this is snack-size. – It feels like a snack when that happens. When you open something up, and you say you’re going to eat a little of it, and then you eat the whole thing, your hands are scrapping the bottom… – Maybe that’s just me. – That feels like a snack. – Sorry. (slams) One pint of ice cream is not a snack! I think we actually just helped, really, literally, just helped people. (laughter) We did. – OK, I can get behind this. – They need it. – I can get behind this. – It’s tough, man, to put the lid on! – Look, you all live, and make your way, and are celebrities in the internet. Now the internet is divided, amongst many things, but this is one of the most controversial of all. This is the hot dog. We’re not here to talk about whether this is a sandwich or not a sandwich, because it is a sandwich. We all know that, but is this a snack? Three, two, one! – Snack! – Not a snack! – Snack. – Not a snack. – Not a snack! – Gentlemen, portability. – OK. – I can walk with it. – Yeah. – I can easily acquire it. I can make it in the microwave. I can make it in the office, because most microwaves have offices. It’s simple. It hardly perishes. – Everything you just said applies to a cup of gravy. Hot dog on a stick: snack. Hot dog in this form… Here’s the thing, if we were like, “Hey guys, we’re hungry. What do you guys want to eat?” And I was like, “Let’s get hot dogs!” You wouldn’t be like, “That’s not eating! That’s not a meal!” – Yeah I would! I’d be like, “What else are we having? Potato salad? Macaroni salad?” – Another hot dog! – Once you start throwing all the stuff that makes it great, it certainly becomes a meal. – It certainly becomes a meal. – The one thing that makes it great is mustard, OK. The only other thing that could make it just a little bit better is sauerkraut. Everything else is sacrilege. – You’re not wrong about those ingredients being the best, but stopping there is just denying yourself. What are you, a monk? – On my very own show that I host… (slams) the hot dog is not a snack! – Yes! – Yes, you are correct. (laughter) – Gentlemen, thank you for determining this, not just for me, not just for “Snack Talk,” not just for the internet, but for everyone out there. For doing what is right, and for heeding the call of snack justice. Thank you for joining us as supreme snack justices. Thank you so much for bringing a healthy dose of mythicality to “Snack Talk,” and for helping us get to the bottom of which foods are snacks and which foods are not. – Our pleasure. – Yes. – Aw shucks! – Well if those of you watching at home agree or disagree with our verdicts here on “Snack Talk,” feel free to dissent in the comments below. We’ll see you next time on “Snack Talk.” Thanks for watching “Snack Talk.” Be sure to like and subscribe, and if you would like to win this beautiful tub of cheese balls, all you have to do is guess the correct amount and leave your guess in the comments below. If you win, I will mail the tub to you personally.