( rooster crows ) – ( lion roars ) – Oh, look at that. – Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” It landed on Gifticality. What a coincky-dink. I didn’t touch it. We’re donating $1,000 to Children International, give them a little bit more than what we’ve already given them today, to aid in their mission to make a long-term impact by helping kids and young adults living in poverty. Please join us in giving at Children.org, and that’s in addition, like I said, to what we’ve already given them. Thanks for being your Mythical best. Go over to Children.org. And thank you, Children International, for all the amazing work you do around the world. And for you for being your Mythical best. What we’re gonna do right now– what we’ve learned is that it is, in fact, difficult to tell the difference between a CEO and a killer. It can be. But can we tell the difference between a normal sandwich and a killer sandwich. Here’s what we’ve done. We’ve gathered a lot of food stuffs that have the word “killer” in the official name. And then we’re gonna combine it all together to make a sandwich because we’re starting with Dave’s Killer Bread. Now, this is a mustached man with an electric guitar. He’s shredding, man. This is good bread. This is what we have at my house, and I’m assuming it’s what we have at your house. “What we have at your house.” Rhett has like a– what do you call that thing when you, like, for backstage, the rider? Like the form, whenever bands go somewhere, backstage they want certain things. The rider, yeah. Rhett has submitted a rider to what he wants at my house. Of course I haven’t responded to it. Okay, so we got a plate here. – So this– this is a– – You want a top? I don’t get “Raisin’ the roof!” Yeah, I just get straight up the original. Oh, you’re just eating the bread? I’m just taking a bite. But… I typically don’t like raisins in my bread. It’s more of a dessert bread at that point, but it’s still killer… when you’re shredding. Okay, what do we want next? I think… It does taste good, though. Rock Star Revolt. Don’t put that on the sandwich. – Killer Grape. – Maybe at the end. I think we just either wash it down or we pour it on at the end. It has to be on the sandwich. Okay, well, let it be at the end. ‘Cause it’ll be too soggy. Killer soggy. All right, so we’ll wait on that. But in the meantime we can just enjoy it. Get a pick-me-up. All right, we also have Brad’s Crunchy Kale. “Vampire Killer Flavor.” “Sunflower seed and chewy”– I said “chewy,” but that word is “cashew.” ( affected voice ) Chewy. – I just saw the word “cashew,” and I said, “Chewy.” – Call it what you want, man. If you take the “as” out, it says “Chew.” Oh, blup, blup. Now, is the same stuff– We also– we have some of this in our office, but we don’t have Vampire Killer. No. “Kale, red pepper”– Is it a different brand? I don’t know. I’ve never tried this. Oh, gosh, you made the old mistake. You ripped above the– oh, you ripped above the opening. God, I hate it when this happens! Now you can’t get it open. We have to forfeit– We have to forfeit the kale. You cannot get in there. It’s re-sealable right there, too. Well, it’s also un-sealable. Un-openable. I gotta do– We’re gonna have to bring Chase in here. Aah! Hold on, where is Chase? I wanna see if– I bet he could rip it open. I don’t have just Chase. I have scissors. I just literally hurt my shoulder. ( laughter ) No, you try to open it. No, man, my hands are too sweaty. – Oh, crap. – There’s no way. This is why scissors were invented. But are you gonna cut above the thing, though? Cut above the re-sealable part. I’m gonna cut in exactly the right spot, man. It’s all the way– the re-sealable part’s all the way down there, like down there. No, it’s not. It’s right here. It’s right there. It’s right there. You feel it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut above my nails. I don’t need you to hold it. I don’t want you to screw it up. That’s too– is that too low? No! Okay. It’s crazy how easy it is once you cut it in the right spot. Hm, hm, hm. – Is it killer? Killer kale? – Smells good. Look at that. It’s just kale covered in crunchy stuff. I found the best way to eat this kind of stuff– just put it in a bowl with a spoon. ‘Cause it– I mean, you feel like a complete moron, like, just– it gets everywhere. It’s not really chips. It’s just a bunch of kale. And it– oh. Got a little prize. Yeah, keep that on there. That’s part of it. – Okay. – Vitamins. It says “Do not consume” on it. Yeah, what does that mean? “Contains a harmless absorbant for humidity and odor.” All right, then watch me consume it. – Well– – What else we got? This is shaping up to be a good sandwich so far. Yeah, the first two steps. We have Allen’s Killer Pythons. “One piece equals one portion.” Why you gotta tell me that? Why is that so big? “One piece equals one portion.” Like, what caused– what led to that? “Hold on. Listen. We’ve been– all week we’ve been having– people have been having accidents because they don’t understand that one piece is one portion. You know the guy in Ohio? He didn’t understand it.” What happened to him? Did he die? Now, one piece of these is one portion. – That’s one portion. – Okay, I understand now. ‘Cause you wouldn’t wanna eat all of these. I mean, who in their right mind would think that this is a portion? That’s crazy! If I want it to be a portion, it can be a portion. Well, you know what? It is now. There we go. Right there. Look at that, man. Look at what kind of stretch I can get on this sucker. Oh, it’s killer– got killer stretch? Yeah. It tastes better when you stretch it. – Remember in middle school – Yes. …when I came up with the theory that things tasted better when you shook it and I got everybody in the cafeteria to shake their food? Because it makes the electrons more active. – The molecules. – ( laughter ) Everybody in Buies Creek School would sit in the cafeteria going… Are you– Hold on, hold on. Are you just now telling me that you made that up? Yeah, I wanted to see if I could get everybody to do it. I’ve been shaking my food… ever since. Yeah, it only lasted one day at Buies Creek School. I’d like to think that I was in on that joke. Remember also that other game we would play? What’s in the bag? And we’d have a bag, and you’d put an ice cube in there, and then you would go, “What’s in the bag?” – This is middle school. – Yep. – Maybe high school. – Mm-hm. And then you would– you’d squeeze and the ice cube would come out and hit– I think you– You’re making it sound like it’s something awesome. I think at that point you would say, “Ice.” Yeah, yeah. And then there was the other thing… You had a weird sense of humor. …we did at the barbecue restaurant in college… “What’s in the bag?” …where we took the barbecue sauce– Can you get a piece of ice? Stay with me, Link! – We gotta play this. – Gosh! Put it in the bag. It’s like trying to hold down a snake. Well, you know what? One portion. You remember at the Blue Moon barbecue place? We had the barbecue squeezy bottles? You hold it in here and you walk up to somebody, and you’d start talking to me, you squeeze it, and then the be– not sauce, not sauce but just barbecue smells, and you’d see them go… I remember that. “I remember that!” Do that. Next time you’re at a– you’re at a barbecue restaurant. It’s gotta be half full, gotta have a lot of air in it. Just maintain eye contact with somebody, and just start squeezing. And see how long they can resist it. And their nostrils will flare, but they won’t think that it’s you, and they wanna stay in the conversation. ‘Cause it makes no sense that it would be you. Speaking of barbecue, we have D.L.Jardine’s Killer Barbecue Sauce. Open that up. Taste it. We also have “CaJohns”– CaJohns Killer Chipotle? “Cajones,” perhaps? – “Ca”– “Ca-hones.” – Is it California John’s? “Ca-hone.” “Ca-Johns.” CaJohns. ( mocking ) CaJohns. I don’t know how you say this. I don’t think I can get into this barbecue sauce. I also don’t know what “cajones” are. Okay, that’s not how you– Let me see if it works with this bottle. It’s gonna be a little spicy. It doesn’t work. – No, glass doesn’t work. – Let me see if it works for this. Think I’m gonna douse your crotch? Yep. If you shake it, it tastes better. Wouldn’t put it past you. That’s a a very… just, middle of the road… I don’t like to put that on my meat. Middle of the road, middle of the sandwich. And the sides of the sandwich. Don’t sauce your meat until you taste your meat. And a little bit of this chipotle. It’s gonna be good when it comes together. How many portions of killer pythons do you have on there? Uh, all of them. We also have Killer Hogs, The Barbecue Rub. – This is the barbecue rub. – Mm-hmm. Oh, it’s sealed. Everything’s sealed. What happened when things weren’t sealed? Did people die all the time or something? Well, things aren’t fresh. It’s a freshness seal. Ah, no, it says, “Sealed for your safety.” No, that’s freshness. Oh, that’s a freshness seal. That’s different. Thanks for hanging out with us today. I mean, if I wanted to poison that stuff, I could do it anyway. It kind of works, but the motion’s a little intense. It’s hard to squeeze this movement. You gotta– it’s gotta be subtle. And you have to be talking. You have to be saying stuff. Like, “Did you see the game?” ( mocking ) “Did you– Did you see the game?” “Did you ( stammers ) see the game?” – Rhett: Put it on there. – Okay. – And, uh… – Okay. Yep, now throw the Rock Star– Okay, that’s enough Rock Star. And then we’re gonna… Why don’t you eat that? Okay, it’s the killer sandwich, everyone. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – Killer sandwich. Yeah. I watched the– the Andre the Giant documentary– You should probably keep cutting it. …on– on HBO. I can’t talk and cut at the same time. I bet you can. See if you can. And there’s a point when Andre the Giant– – ( laughter ) – No, see if you can cut– Just try it. Honestly try to cut and talk at the same time. This’ll be a breakthrough for you. There’s a point when Andre the Giant goes on, um… This is what trying to have a conversation with him when he’s driving is like. Well, it’s hard– it’s hard. He either misses the turn or doesn’t talk. Those are the only two options. You’re not gonna get where you’re supposed to go and have a meaningful conversation. There’s a point where Andre the Giant goes on David Letterman’s show. Mm-hm. Heard of it. And he’s huge, Andre the Giant. And he sits down, and he’s so big. And he sits down and first thing David Letterman says is… “Would you like a mimosa?” He’s so funny. It’s like… it’s so funny. “It’s so funny.” It’s, like, funniest guy ever, man. Hero of mine. You should write a book about it. That one time that Andre the Giant was on there– it was so funny. “Would you like a mimosa?” It’s like, no one else could say that. Yeah, no one else could say that, that’s right. I think he said, “Could I interest you in a–” ( clears throat ) I’m choking. “Could I interest you in a mimosa?” And did Andre understand the humor? Uh, Andre was a smart guy, yeah. This looks good. Okay. You’re really getting over the plate here. Oh, my goodness. – Huh. – Huh. Needs salt. Killer salt. It’s not bad. Well, it is bad. It needs more portions of pythons. ( choking ) What’s in the bag? I’m choke– I can’t breathe ’cause of the hot sauce. – I don’t know. – What’s in the bag? I don’t know. Let me see. What’s in the bag? I don’t know. Let me see. – Put your hands down. – No. – What’s in the bag? – I don’t know. What’s in there? Show it to me. What’s in the bag? We used to play this game in middle school. Or in high school. Hold on, here we go. Here it is. What’s in the bag? I don’t know, show it. Ice. Is it ice? – It was ice. – Hm.