your parrot a cookie parrot what’s the word alright this is when we take a word that we don’t know the meaning but we tell you the meaning welcome to good mythical more the word is Patrick ruolan Panta means everywhere and gruel means nasty food slop so it’s when you’re swimming in nasty food slot no it’s when you are that as a person I’ve run into a few so a person who’s just a walking slop of food it’s an insult a Pantagruel e’en from the isle of Pantagruel all right we know we’re right about that so let’s just move on into determining the best milk alternative for cookie dipping we have we have some pea milk here we have milk some macadamia milk that sounds like something that we would create on the show with our own urine of course we have some almond milk we have some milked walnuts we have some milked cashews wait when you say it like that it starts to feel weird like cashew milk cool milked cashews weird you’ve never milked nuts milked hazelnuts I’ve milked nuts in all seven seas this is some fancy stuff here from Elmhurst not a spa and milk bidet Mia and then Ripple mrs. field just got me on the back of the throat now that says shake well so we we’ve got these wheat you want to just go down the thingamajig made with 11 hazelnuts 11 cashews 8 walnuts and 18 almonds it takes 18 ailments to make oh every glass oh wow ok so what we’re gonna do is I’m a cookie dipper as I said now we’re gonna use these and you cookie Kahuna might I point out captain’s got a clear his throat you used to dip soft batch and soft batch are so dense they don’t get any milk at all the beauty of a real chip of a Chips Ahoy cookie is that it’s crispy and then when dips it becomes this magical substance soft patch cookies man are not for dipping that’s your your dippin something it’s not intended for dipping it’s got the chemical moisture built-in all right I agree with that I don’t know why I did it I agree with that I’m gonna start with almond milk because that’s um you know familiar terra-tory now Josh you have an opinion as to why we’re using cookie cut L us about the cookie kona not a sponsor yeah so wally a mos started Famous Amos in the 70s with a $25,000 investment from singer Marvin Gaye and then by 1982 that is a real story Wally Amos he was a good Marvin Gaye’s money yeah well he invested Marvin Gaye’s money and eventually sold over ten million dollars in product in 1982 he fell on hard times cookie bidness wasn’t as good as he used to be big new Fitness cookie big night and so he gradually had to start selling stakes in his company moved on dates come on in Josh Alex pushed me out here yeah oh yeah what would a hat like that that makes sense yeah welcome to welcome to look at the way it grabs hold of that milk um finish your story Wally Amos had to sell his likeness and everything to pay off certain debts so he completely lost control of the company I believe in the late 80s he eventually started a new cookie company called Wally Amos presents then he got sued by his own company for using his own name and likeness he then changed that to uncle no names cookies and he eventually tried to pivot by selling low fat diet and muffins during the Atkins craze fast-forward 20 years in the Year 2015 and he has come out with a brand new cookie product called cookie kahuna where he is again not allowed to use his name or likeness on the cover but you still see he’s wearing the signature panama hat and even uses a little bit of a petty trolling language the original taste that made me Oh haha that’s the story of cookie gonna let me tell you right now that cookie is twice as good as any cookie that we just taste it I feel like I have to redefine the scale you give this attempt I give it twice as I give it an 18 did you eat it without dipping no oh now this is almond milk but this is this is some high-dollar almond milk and it is very thick that’s good it’s really good um it’s from a dairy this is not the almond milk that I mean it’s not fly-by-night weird this is this is some thick stuff this is from a historic American dairy why y’all making almond milk at a dairy insulting the cows what are you asking for well I want to try the almond milk I don’t mean the DVD and I mean well a year weed you don’t like you’re worried about germs no we’re done with that now or you can have your scraps that’s why there’s work time we dip you drink next one link that one’s pretty good let’s uh let’s go with the next most familiar one to me Lee’s cashews I moved on to cashew milk in my smoothies shake well it says it’s a little more bitter than almond milk but you sound a little more sophisticated when you like almond milk no I drink cashew milk ah sound a little more refined that’s how I make all my decisions based on how they will make me perceive publicly mmm you think that cashew milk is a little more what bit dirty oh okay I don’t know what no do you not agree these cookies are incredible mmm seems slow on the trigger there that’s a great I think they’re very good yeah but the mrs. the mrs. Fields was a little softer and cakey and I pass you milk does not grab hold in the same way the almonds do notice that but it has a it has a fatty or taste yeah okay what hmm I think it tastes better I like this better I don’t like it worse no I don’t like it worse that’s a good cookie man let’s put down a little bit oh you got ones with pecans in them no Jessie wanted pecans you like the cashews better in the almonds mmm yeah yeah cashew milk has more natural fat to it yeah almonds have yeah do mean almond milks more bitter it’s okay yeah woman skins two out of three agree walnuts are definitely more bitter yes walnuts are the bitterest of all nuts well let’s go with walnuts next I’ve always said that um I don’t like walnuts in my desserts because they’re so bitter I like pecans in my desserts because they’re not as bitter but we don’t have pecans okay oh gosh the darkness is it looks like a mocha pecans are better walnuts but they’re not as fancy so if you’re trying to project the image our that you’re like a fancy gentleman who eats exotic yeah Oh always eat one is I just don’t like it yeah you Lee you’ll probably eat them but in private okay can I have a night in the streets pecan cookies you were [Laughter] sorry for this guy I know honestly he refused to even back Famous Amos they tried to hire him back for two years as a suppose no and he was just like you added caramel coloring you took out the real vanilla extract this isn’t the cookie that I made he wall-e Amos all that says not selling cookies I’m selling happiness that’s right they turned his dream into a nightmare that’s like of all of a sudden that’s like I’m all of a sudden somebody took our show from us and caught a good mystical morning and then they wanted us to promote it if he was starting the wrapper mystical mr. cow mother cow I’d do that for the right price I do Wow that’d be sweet though you guys are great with mystic L come on watch yourself yeah all right this is this is overwhelmingly wall nutty Wow it is bitter it is not working for the it’s too much so the cashew is still in the lead I’m keeping that one here what you do with the almonds I don’t I don’t know where is that we lost it excuse um of these I heard a lot of great things about these hmm yeah it seems wrong to eat him now yeah bring about him there’s a mrs. feels he was the winner see that’s a soft cookie I’m in agreement with you that soft cookies that are shelf-stable and prepackaged are an abomination alright so know me and professional chefs agree we got some hazelnuts happening I’m not a hazelnut fan I love Nutella but he would be better if it was a nasal nut mmm you better if it was it’d be better if it was peanuts I still like it though is that chocolate parts really good now I like a mrs. new cookies good I eat them don’t get me wrong I’m gonna need these I’m gonna try these I’m gonna give a shout-out to my friend Angie in her company started a a cookie company back in North Carolina southern sugar bakery and they make some good cookies so we couldn’t get our we couldn’t get her cookies in time but I will give them a shout-out check out southern sugar bakery they’ll send you some some good chocolate chip cookie they’re not mass-produced so you can get away with that soft fresh but still shipped hmm hazelnuts have two distinct of a flavor yes on distinct something weird you know I’m Sam it throws it off let’s try macadamia d we got two more – but just don’t like this milk I like the walnut although the walnut taste is really dignified dignified it tastes like an artist man you look you pour the payoff for this did you I’m shake it first no macadamia this should be I I’m predicting this is gonna be my fav I thought it said milk edema and I thought it was whoa look at that whoa so viscous this is kind of thin macadamias are like 50% fat or more right I mean they’re super fat they’re mad expensive – I don’t know how much we paid for that but I imagine it’s not only a fitting my daily budget we should start a macadamia farm I think this is gonna do it’d be hard to go how hard can it be yeah that’s just nuts you gotta hold it for a while man you can’t just dip quick we can dip double dip you make eye contact mm-hmm it doesn’t distract from the cookie the cookie so sweet um that I can’t tell that the milk is sweet that’s got a real clean crispness to it that I really like in a really mimics milk it does not interfere at all with the cookie that’s my favorite so far agreed it’s perfect milk mimicry but I have not tasted pea milk what I’m about to I think cashew is still better than that for me you guys I’m sorry you should apologize for that you think this is better than cashew you think this is the leader I do I think well I predicted it but now I disagree with it one more cookie tea milk man this is gonna really hold on to your cookies and you better hold on to your cookies while you taste it it’s so thick look at that it’s like pudding so that happens when you mess up like the jell-o instant pudding recipe well you got to eat it anyways that seems good to me hmm I’m not experiencing anything negative hmm let’s go sort of a weird aftertaste well that’s kind of the case with all non milk milks I would call that flavorless for the most part it really allows the cookie to shine but I’m voting for cashew that’s my most dipa bull right now I’m voting for macadamia and I’m saying pee milk is the second best option I’m saying pee milk is my second Oh macadamia then walnut because of its dignified in that is like if you had a plain flavored pepto-bismol which is that bit yeah all right so no clear winner here you can you’re gonna have to judge for yourself that’s right the Tour of mythicality will continue in the comfort of your own home the forthcoming tour special includes the live performance plus a never-before-seen documentary film pre-order it now on iTunes