[Rooster Crowing] [Lion Roaring] – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – Gifticality! That means we are donating $1,000 to the Animal Welfare Institute, to aide in their mission to improve the treatment of animals everywhere. Please join us in giving at: awionline.org – A-Dub-I-Online.org Okay, come on in guys. We’re going to learn, We’re going to create the world’s oldest toothpaste recipe? – That is correct. – Alright, Christine. Good to see ya. – Good to see you guys as well. – And Matt. Let’s welcome Matt. It’s his first time on Good Mythical More. – Come on in Matt. – Matt you’re not even actually all the way in yet. – I’m not, I’m not even in the show. – Boom, boom, boom, come on. – Now you are. – Yeah. Hi! – Yes, Matt’s a tall one. – Yeah, 6’6″. – Alright, you gotta go back there, have a tall off. – Okay. – I know they’re gonna want it. Christine, let’s get out of the way. – You know, I’m just, I’m like this is- – We’re not involved in the tall off. – I know, I’m not. – [Matt] The hair doesn’t count. – [Rhett] Oh, you can’t tell. – In this shot. – [Rhett] Link, well ,you just- – [Matt] Whose shoulders are higher? – I’m gonna use this knife here. – [Rhett] Oh gosh. – [Matt] Well. – It’s not even on camera. – Look at that. – [Matt] Who won? – Uh Rhett’s got you by an inch, so I wouldn’t move your head too much. – [Matt] Alright, put the knife down. – I look like I’m among giants. – Wow. – Well we’re.. – First day at work and I’m already, my life is at risk. Cool, cool, cool. – Welcome to the show, yeah. – Yeah, thanks for having me. – Okay so what do we got going on here? – Uh well, today, we’re going to be using the oldest toothpaste in history. Yeah. – Did you archeologically find it? – I heard about it on the internet and if the internet says it, it must be true. That’s how the internet works. – Okay, alright. Well we operate on that principle quite often. – Oh yeah. – We say a lot of true things on the internet. – So apparently the Egyptians are believed to have like- – Love ’em. – You love the Egyptians? – I just love the Egyptians. – Yeah! – Their dancing is good, they pyramids are nice. – They invented the straw, right? – Was that them? – I think so. – Wow, how do you know so much about the Egyptians? – Oh you know, archeology. – Oh okay – Just in general. – Anthro majors. – Oh, so school. – Yes. – School’s fun. So uh, yeah, apparently they started using this paste to clean their teeth around 5000 B.C. – Wow. – Yeah that’s a long, long time ago. – How did they know that? They found it in a sarcophagus? – Probably, maybe. – They put things in the sarcophagus. – Yeah, toothpaste. – And then we find them. Is that what you’re talking about? – Yeah. The Egyptians man. – I thought you meant did an Egyptian find toothpaste in a sarcophagus, like this is a good idea. – If you find it, it means someone put it there originally. – Alright fine, he’s taller than you. – And if the internet said it, it must be true, and you guys are on the internet. – Okay, so we’ve got, you got- – Yes. – You’re gonna guide us through making it. – Yeah, we’re gonna make it here together. – Look at this. – It’s and Egyptian mortar and pestle. – Yeah. – This is like Aztec, man. – It’s Egyptian rock salt. – Alright, so I have the recipe right here. You guys wanna build this? – Yeah dude. – Alright, so it calls for one drachma of rock salt. – There’s the rock salt. – Uh huh, so just put a drachma in. – Drop a drachma. – Just one, you don’t wanna go too drachma. – No that’s too much drachma. – That’s over drachmatic. – Okay, that’s a drachma. – Well, it’s supposed to be let’s see, 1/100 of an ounce, so uh. – Oh really? – Do you guys have anything to measure drachma’s with? – 1/100 of an ounce. – I don’t think that’s enough. – 1/100 of an ounce? – Just- – I should’ve brought a scale. – Couldn’t they use grams like instead of 1/100 of an ounce? – I don’t think that they had invented grams yet. They were purely drachma-based society. – All drachmas. – I converted to pinches, we’re good to go. – Okay, pinch works. And now one drachma/ pinch of mint. – Oh mint. – You know what, we should use my hands to keep the drachmas consistent. – Oh that’s a lot. – That’s a lot of drachma. – Okay, come on. – Well, it’s toothpaste so a lot of mint is good. – Yeah, can’t go wrong with too much mint. – Exactly. – And then we’ve got- – Purple stuff. – Yeah, one drachma of that’s dried iris flower. – Wow – oh, the iris’ of Egyptians? – Yes. Look at that. – Like a garden. Potpourri bowl. – Yeah it looks like potpourri. – Okay. – And then finally, you gotta mix it around with 20 grains of pepper. – 20? – So count those out individually. – I have small hands. – 20 corns? – I think I got 20 right there. – I think 20 corns. Is a grain a corn? – That’s 20. – And that’s it. – Yeah. And then basically, you crush that up and then once you put it in your mouth, it forms like a foam. – Oh there’s too much rock salt. – Well yeah exactly. I put a drachma in to begin with and then you guys kept wanting more drachmas. – It looks like you’re making a cocktail is what it looks like. – You can be as rough with that as you want, Link. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – It’s so dull. – Really spin it around. – Spin ‘er around. – As soon as it hits your mouth, it’s supposed create like a foam. – Oh really? – And the foam- – What? – Yeah, you know. – You’re getting some shredding in there man. – A work out. – Yeah, this is the tough part. – Oh it’s doing it man, look, it’s- – Yeah – Of course it’s don’t it. I’m doing it! – And you know what, it’s starting to smell good. Mm, you guys smell that? – Yeah, smells like minty fresh breath. – Oh gosh. – Like a drachma worth of fun. – I’m about to give out. – Give it, you want me to help? – No. – I think he’s doing great. – Just do it- – You’re the pincher, I’m the pusher. – Do a spin, do a spin, get it- – There we go, oh yeah – Yes. – Now reverse it. – Yeah. – I’ve mortared before. And pestled. – Wow. – Look at that. – It’s kind of all going away. – No it’s not. – Well yeah. – It smells illegal. – It smells illegal. Okay. – I’m sorry for making weird noises while I do this. – It’s the only way to do it. – I think we need a- – Oh. – Alright. – Have to do that every time with this so that’ll force them to wash it. – Gosh, when did you do that? – Is it foaming? Is your mouth foaming? – It’s very peppery. – Okay, what happens now? – Now you have to brush your teeth with it. – Whoa, Link’s not doing well. – It’s hot. That’s a lot of pepper. – It’s hot. – I mean I wasn’t- I want to try it. – I almost turned you over. – I mean you’ve spit on me before, so I wouldn’t be- – Should’ve counted the peppercorns probably. – Okay, how do I, what do I do? – Well we need to brush it with the toothbrush, huh? – Yeah, we have this. So these are a miswack stick. They’re older than the Egyptian thing. I know. – Take that, Matt. – These are about 7000- these aren’t particularly 7000 years old, but. – Well yeah they’re old, it’s a stick. Anyone could invent a stick. – Is this a mummified Egyptian cat penis? – Yes, exactly. This is a lipstick. So these are kind of found in like the Northern peninsula of – That thing stink. – Africa, so kind of the Arabian peninsula and – It smells like when you don’t wash your towels enough. You know what I’m saying? – Oh whoa, yeah. – It’s a funky cabbage. – Yeah. – It smells like a beach like bathroom. You know, it’s like really ripe. – It smells like when Barbara sneaks a little pee pee onto the bathmat. You know what I’m saying? – So what do we do? They’re made from like, so you’re supposed to like dip these, I’m assuming these are already made, that they’ve been left in water for about four hours, you trim about half an inch off of the bark and then you nibble gently. – You nibble on it? – I think this is it. And then you just kind of like go up and down. – To make a brush, or that is the brushing of your teeth? – I believe this is the brushing of your teeth. – I just kind of like feel like a farmer. – I think it’s making the brush. You nibble on it. – It’s like a human dog bone or something. – Yeah but now we got to put this mess in there. – It smells so bad. – A lot of it’s coming off and going into my mouth. I don’t like it. – No guys, look. – It tastes like cabbage. – Look, you chew it up and it becomes fibers. Look at that. Yeah, nibble on that, – Oh. – It becomes, – oh okay. – Yeah, I’m feeling it now. It becomes like a tooth brush that you dipped into cat urine – Yeah, absolutely. It smells so bad. – It tastes so bad. – Look at that, that’s amazing. What it- a miswack stick? What’d you call it? – It’s a miswack stick and it’s from El Salvadora Persica tree. – Alright, so let’s put the toothpaste – My mama was Miss Wack, 1969. – Let’s put the toothpaste that I made on it. You can each grab your own spot so you don’t have to double dip if you don’t want to. – I think I’ll get this spot. So this is gonna make us foam in the mouth? – It really feels like it’s gonna work. – Yeah it says that you’ll start foaming. Either because it’s toothpaste or because you’re OD-ing on pepper. Oh God. – This is work. – Oh it’s so strong. – I like it. – Wow, oh man, I like that pepper. – See look. – The pepper does taste good. – Look at those bristles, you see that? – It’s bristles man. – You see those bristles? – It makes me feel like I’m like Sling Blade or something [Inaudible] Tomatoes. – I’m gonna get some more of this. – I’m gonna do this every morning. Now, I don’t think I can swallow. – Yeah I wouldn’t swallow. – It is spicy. – It’s spicy and it smells bad too. – We need some water guys. – Oh definitely. – Oh goodness. – You need like a mouthwash after this. – We don’t have any mouthwash. – They didn’t invent that yet. – I know. – We don’t have any of that. – This is falling apart. – I like pepper in general, but I’m overwhelmed by it. – I’ve got water with my name on it. – I think if we went with less pepper, more mint, we could’ve done a little better. – A different combo? Change up the stats. – I kind of like the taste that it’s leaving in my mouth so I’m not gonna rinse. – Is it on my teeth? – It’s so clean. – Clean? – Yes your teeth are so clean. – I’m just eating the pepper at this point. It’s good. – Yeah, you’re gonna be sick later. – Man, can we eat the brush? Can we eat the miswack stick? – I think so. – If you need to spit in this, you can. – It’s a stick. – You weren’t very confident about that. – I feel like if you eat it, – I’m swallowing. – Mines coming apart. I feel like you can use them again. Keep it for tomorrow. – Yeah. Don’t put it out in the poop area, you gotta put it in the drawer. – See what my wife thinks. – Wow. – I don’t know if my mouth feels clean though. Does your mouth feel clean? I feel like it feels worse. – Mine feels very numb. – Yeah. – I cannot feel my lips. – It kinda tastes good to me, I don’t know why. – No, I do like it. – I like salty food. – I think I like- – I’m gonna ask my dentist what he thinks about it cause I follow all his rules. – And these are also available on Amazon, I guess just on the floor somewhere. – You can get miswack on Amazon? – Yeah. Just [Inaudible] Some sticks. – What can’t you get on Amazon. – I mean you can get it for free, just go into a park and be like, grab a stick. – Thanks guys. We got some clean mouths. Hide your head in plain sight with this not-so-plain GMM camo hat. Available now at mythical.store.