(rooster croaking) (lion roaring) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – Who you talkin’ about? – Who you talkin’ about? – We read a comment from one of you about one of us and guess who it was about. – Let’s see it. – Patrick Mott says. – Oh, it’s here. – “Patrick Mott says, “Blank man, you look like you’ve been through the ringer. Like you need to take a nap because you’ve been crying into your pillow all day.” I’m guessing this is about me. – Somebody looks tired and weepy. – I have a tendency to look tired because I’m old. Okay. Yep. – That is correct it is you. – Rhett man, you look like you’ve been through the ringer. I have, man. Spend some time with this guy. – I’ll ring you out and leave you out to dry. I’ll squeeze all the juice out of you and make a potion with it. – See. (laughing) – Look at this cute little ranking board we have here. Six to one. – So we’ve got croutons from all the same places that we just experienced. Right? – That’s right. – All the same places? Yeah. – And we are going to rank croutons. The content you’ve been living for. – But first, you remember our Flamin’ Hot episode where we bought out some special packaging for the things that we flaming hotted. – Freakin’ awesome packaging. – So as you know we do occasionally, we’re going to actually sign these right now and then we’re going to give them to a lucky mythical society member. We’re gonna sign it right now, give it to them. You can join the society before Wednesday for your chance to own one of these signed artifacts, before Wednesday. – Memorabilia. I’m gonna write on the front. I’m gonna write like, be your mythical best. – Yeah, that seems appropriate. – Is there some sort of flamin’ hot pun that we can do, like. – Be your flamin’ hot mythical best. It’s a little bit longer, but. – I’m gonna use the flamin’ hot. Be your flamin’ hot mythical best. – Too late for me. – Be your flamin’ hot mythical best. And then I’m gonna sign. I’m gonna put the amper stand right there. I’m gonna sign it like that. And you’re gonna take it. – Be your flamin’ hot mythical best. I signed on that part of the chicken. I thought you could sign on that part of the chicken. – I’m feeling it. Look at that. Okay. So join the mythical society for a chance to get this one of a kind memorabilia. Lots of fun. It’s perfect for a bookshelf. All right. Let’s start. You know let’s go from the worst to the best of sticks. So this is Outback. Let start with the Sizzler. – Sizzler. – So we got a Sizzler here. Don’t eat the one with the flag. – It doesn’t end well, does it? – No. It ends like bad burnt toast. It didn’t start that great either. – I think the Sizzler’s philosophy is just you throw enough out there people get confused. You know what I’m saying? You bombard them with choices and at the end they’re just like, I don’t know if it was good or not, but I’m full. – But they invented the salad bar, man. I did say that was Sizzler, right? – You did. – [Link] We’re gonna start them on six because– – [Rhett] Did you ever go to the Western Sizzlin’? – [Link] All the time. – Isn’t it done? – With Nanny and Vicky, man, we’d always go there. – Was it a buffet as well? – Um, they introduced a buffet, and then it was turned into a Golden Corral many years later. – Yeah. – I believe. You know what? It wasn’t, but it had that same, they adopted the Golden Corral spread. What was next? – Um, TGF, Applebee’s was next. These are some yellow croutons. – [Rhett] Oops. – [Link] Which I might really like. – What? There’s no crunch at all. – They’ve been sitting out. – [Man] They were covered. – They were covered. – Look, look, look. – They’re mushy. – You’re not supposed to do that to it. This is horrible. Put that on the end. – Hey, I mean– – Sizzler’s way better than that. – They probably give ’em to you fresh so they’re crunchier, but like they get that mushy that quickly. – Yeah, uh. That’s a piece. – That’s a problem. Um, TGI Friday’s, I think that was next. Could be wrong. – [Rhett] These are promising looking. – [Link] Yeah. – Oh, uh-huh. That’s are good crouton. – It’s got a Parmesan cheese saltiness to it. – Number one right now. – Do you think there’s cheese in it? Do you detect cheese? – [Rhett] I detect, my cheese detector’s going off a little bit. – Bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling. I’m gonna leave that one here in case we want to taste it again. And then let’s go with Chili’s. And just to show you the differences here. – Oops. If you thought awkward times were the same, you were wrong. – Here’s Outback and here’s Texas Roadhouse just to look at how different they are. – There’s not one crouton factory that everybody’s getting them from. – [Link] Outback’s making a big crouton. Look at how big that crouton that is. – It seems like they’re compensating for something, well in salads. – Chili’s. – It’s not good. – Well, it’s a bit stale. – But it also has– – And powdery. It taste like celery. – It’s really uniform. It’s not as bad as TGI Friday. No, it’s not as bad as Applebee’s. – [Link] But Sizzler is better. – [Rhett] Yeah. Sizzler is making a strong showing. – [Link] Sizzler’s moving on up. – [Rhett] In the crouton department. – I guess I’ll get this big frickin’ crouton here from Outback, even though it was the winner. It’s there, so I’m gonna taste it. – Oh man. That’s really good. I like slightly burnt crunchy things. I think that’s the purpose of a crouton. – Um. – Hold on. – I gotta say that I think I like the Friday’s better, but I want to taste this one first. You’re saying that Outback’s number one. – I think Outback is significantly better. That’s how good it is. And TGI Friday’s was really good. – I want to go back to the Friday’s, but let’s taste the Texas Roadhouse. – Oh. – Um. – That’s good too. – It’s actually crackery, and I don’t like that. It taste like a cracker. You know what I’m saying? It’s got a little bit of a– – It taste like a Ritz. – Yeah. It’s got a ritziness to it that I don’t like. I’m voting to put this one below those two, and I think– – I’m not gonna argue with you on that. – I think our finalist is– – [Rhett] Rather than argue with you is that the Outback is better than the TGI Friday. – Right, so here’s a Friday’s. I mean, again there’s quite a variety in there. There is a dark one. Here, eat half of this dark one from Friday’s, and half of the light one. I like that cheesiness. – It’s a good crouton, but this is almost buttery, man. It’s also the most unique. – It crunches in a very satisfying way. – I think it is really really good, and I feel– – Yeah. – [Rhett] You know what? They got the best steak and the best croutons. – [Link] Dang Outback. Outback’s doing it. – All right Outback. You’re the only one that we can still have a sponsorship with, so– – Bring it on. – We’re ready. Link has a great Australian accent. You should here it. – Hi. Come on over to the Outback and get you some bloomin’ onion. – Stear your ears towards some biscuits you can hear. Listen to new episodes of ear biscuits now on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.