(rooster crow) (lion roar) – Whoop! – Motivational speech! We’re going to give a motivational speech to a dude who really wants to ride a dolphin but lives in Nebraska. – Hey dude, you’re on the right track with the whole riding a dolphin thing. And I acknowledge that Nebraska has a problem, except for the dolphin resorts that are all over the place. They’re happy, right? – Well, I just have a question for you though Nebraskan man. Is ride the dolphin a euphemism for something? – No. It’s actually saddle up on a dolphin and ride it. You know what? Don’t do that. Let the dolphins dolphin. Take it back, I want to anti-motivate you. – So it’s not a euphemism? Because if it was, I’ve got lots of advice. – It’s not. – Okay. You’re out of luck, buddy. – And don’t do it. (laughs) – Don’t do it. But you could do it, – Okay, we’re — – and you don’t, and that’s the power that you have. – Shout out to all dolphins and all people in Nebraska. We’re still cool, right? We’re good? – We’re gonna– – You’re still good? You’re still doing it? – I’m trying to remember what it was. – What was it? – What was it? – We’re still good. – We’re still good! – We’re still good. – We’re still good. – We’re still good! – We’re going to eat some smoked barbecue watermelon in just a second. But, we do want to remind you, we wrote a novel! Called the Lost Causes of Bleak Creek! It’s scary! It’s funny! We call that scunny! – Make sure you — – You know, really, really, You’re really trying to make that happen. – Scunny, scunny – Yeah. – You’re trying to make that happen. – Yeah, it’s working. It’s working for the people in Nebraska, especially. – It’s not written on the book anywhere, is it? – Well, I don’t know. We haven’t finalized the flaps yet. – Yes we have. It’s not on there. – If you want to be the first person to be holding or, amongst the first people to be holding that book the day it comes out, pre-order it now at BleakCreek.com. – I’m so excited about this freaking book. freakin’ bleakin’ creekin’ book. – Josh, come on out here and explain what happened here. – So, pull in your stool. I’ve already shown it to them as a teaser but I wanted to give it a proper reveal. – Okay. – The first time I saw this, I was like, what the crap? – Yeah, so we had the watermelon barbecue, that was awesome. – Yeah, I was there for that. – Now we have the barbecue watermelon, which, we just realized, if we would have cooked inside the watermelon barbecue, it would’ve been really cool. But we didn’t. – You just couldn’t– – There’s always next time. – If I could go back, if I could go back, I would have done that. – You know what? If you’re not learning, you’re getting stupider. – Yeah? – Right. – Most of the time, I’m getting stupider. – You know what? Just then, you were learning. – Thank you, sensei. – You know what, you’re growing. You’re learning. We’re all dying, but you’re also learning. – Let’s eat some watermelon! So what we did is, We brined it. – Let’s get a cross section. – Yeah, do you want me to slice it? I was going to slice it like a roast. – I was going to slice it. – That’s the longest Link has ever held a knife in front of me. – Yeah, I don’t know why we let him get away with that. – All right. – You brined it in what? – We brined it in cider vinegar, some spices and aromatics, and then — – Oh my gosh! – And then I actually — – It looks like salmon! – Smoked it in the oven with a bunch of mesquite chips underneath it, so it like, created a tent and it perfumed it, glazed it with a little mustard-y barbecue sauce, and — – How much penetration do you think took place? – I don’t know, man. That’s a question I try not to ask. But, you know, you kinda can see where– – Yeah, don’t fall for his game. (laughs) – I’m thinking I cut these in half. – Yeah, cut them in half! We’ve got, like, plates and some extra barbecue sauce – Like this? – If you guys want — – Why are you cutting that in half, why? – Yeah, I kinda want to — – All right, check it out. – It looks great. – You’ve got plates right there. – Yeah, I was going to like, get manageable slices. But you know what? We can — – We can go with big honking slices. – I ate a lot of that vending machine pork. – Yeah, how do you feel? – It was pretty good. You guys tried the loin, but I got a big old hunk of the sirloin, and that was really good, man. – I mean, you know what, it’s just like a giant smoker. – Yeah. – It’s the same exact principle. – It really is. – Just with plastic. – A lot of it. – Now, Rhett, this is the one that you tried to slice. – Nope, nope. – You’re getting that one. – I’m getting… We’ve all gotta divide this one into three pieces because everybody wants a piece of that. – That’s the end, – Oh yeah. – I mean, the market right now for plant-based meat alternatives, massive you know? – Yup. – The problem is, most people only pay money for good ones. And so I don’t have super high hopes for this. – You know, Beyond Meat just went public, man. – Yeah. – I think it’s because of our episode, where we said they had the best sausage. – This is like, beyond watermelon. – It looks like sushi. (laughs) – It’s good, man. – Yeah! – The flavors are really nice. The texture is a little unnerving. To me. – Yeah, I feel like you could cut– – It looks like raw meat– – A bunch of watermelon into little cubes, and put in on a baking sheet and basically do this rub on it. ‘Cause once you get down here into this daddy — – Yeah, this is not appetizing. I mean, if someone, I don’t know how they would do that. Well I guess if they walked in the room and looked over the shoulder of whoever, the mythical beast that’s watching this from the beginning, they would think — – That we’re just eating raw meat. (laughs) – Yeah, that we were just eating raw meat. – Sauce makes it worse. – Sauce makes it — – Sauce makes it worse, yeah. – Really? – And it’s too, kind of, it’s got — There’s a lot of juice still in the watermelon. I think if, I mean, we cooked this thing for six and a half hours, at like, 300 degrees, and it just stayed a brick like that, – I really like it, man. Hot watermelon. – We can go public only to you. Just give me $15 and I’ll really tell you how to do it. That’s my big money making idea. – If you’re just — – Get out of here, boy. – If you’re just tuning in — – Get out of here. – to Good Mythical More, which doesn’t, the internet doesn’t work that way. But maybe you walked into a room where someone is watching this, we’re eating raw meat. (slurps) – You know that I just said that, right? (crew laughs) – Yeah, you have to keep doing it, though. – Oh, if you just walked in… I get it. We’re eating raw meat. – Because people can walk in at any moment, like– – And they do. Thank you for listening. – Yeah. – Tell them, it’s your turn. It’s your turn. – If you’re watching, what? I’m sorry, I’m really enjoying this at this point. – If you just walked in, – I started off hating it– – If you just walked in. – If you just walked in– – Are you looking at yourself? – We’re eating raw meat. That’s where you’re supposed to look. – Listen, man. – I’ve done this before! – Learning. Listen, you’re learning. You’re learning something. – If you just — – Look at them. – If you just walked in, we’re eating raw meat. That’s not how the internet works. Hey Rhett, how much penetration do you think took place? – Don’t. – What? – Well, I mean, based on, I’m tasting the middle, not a lot. – No. – I don’t think it really got– – The edges, though. You get a ton of smoke off it. And it’s really nice. – Is there a sweeter rub, and we could just embrace the sweetness? Like, what would be the sweet dessert version of this? Because I think this is very much in conflict. – I mean, usually just a cinnamon sugar rub. We could do a whole line of just watermelon-based products. You could do watermelon cinnamon rolls where you just take circles of watermelon and put, you know, cinnamon and sugar in there. And then bake that. – That’s a better idea than this. – You could do anything. I mean, people replace rice with cauliflower all the time. Just replace your favorite baked goods with watermelon. – If you just walked in, we are eating raw human. Too far? – Yeah. – Raw meat. We’re just eating raw meat. Because that’s the thing, that’s what’s happening these days. – That really does look like raw flesh. That’s pretty gnarly. – If you just walked in, we’re eating raw human meat and we’ve developed a taste for it and I don’t know that we can ever go back to not eating human meat. – I’ve got my turn, but you can do it. – I’ve got a new angle for you, though. You should implore the people who are watching it by themselves– – If you just walked in on yourself– – No, no, no, you’re missing the point. Tell the person who’s watching it to go ask somebody, hey come watch this. – If nobody’s walked in on you, go get them. – Yeah, and now we wait. Average house, say 16 to 17 seconds to get places. – Right, I got it. Hey, thanks for walking in. We’re eating raw meat. 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