(bird caws) (roaring) – Okay, here we go. – Welcome to Good Mythical More. – Oh here we go, new selfie face. Okay we got a new selfie face we’re gonna invent right now with Terry Crews. “I just binge watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills “for eight straight hours.” Selfie face. – All right, you got your phone, all right so. – Okay. – I don’t know– – I think kind of dead inside. – Yeah, yeah, really hurting like, – Bring it closer. – Got it. – Oh that’s good, a little slobber on the side, that was good. (Rhett laughs) – Apparently I watched Real Housewives without my glasses. I don’t know why I took them off for the selfie. – Gotta get my TV eyes. – Yeah, you gotta save yourself. – Okay, wooh! I’m still a little hot, why don’t you explain this game? Hey, and you know what? – I’m fine. – You had my number, but you also had the power to let him have it, you could have– – No I couldn’t have. – You didn’t try to manipulate Terry to switch with me. – I wanted you to take the fall man. (Terry laughs) – First of all, I still have this chemical taste in my mouth which probably won’t be gone for a couple days. (Rhett laughs) – A couple of days! – But, you know, my thing is your ability, your game face, it’s so ridiculously– – Terry, don’t stroke his ego. – Thanks Terry. – It’s amazing man. – Stroke mine. – It’s amazing. But you can be my agent? – Oh yeah. – I need a new, I need an agent, manager, this guy… – 30 percent. – Yeah that’s, okay. All righty, that’s enough. Of whatever I’m getting for this show, which is nothing. (all laugh) – That’s fair. All right, so I will explain the game. Brooklyn Whine Whine. – Yes. – So we’ve got some whiney Yelp reviews of establishments in Brooklyn, the borough. – Okay. – We’re gonna read them and we’re gonna decide if there’s too much whine or not, that’s fine. You wanna read the first one Rhett? – Okay sure. This is a review of The Woods dance bar in Williamsburg okay. – I’ve been to Williamsburg, yeah. – You ever been to The Woods? – No, no. – Claire D, “I was here for my best friends birthday “and we were having a great time, “we heard Yeah by Usher come on “and we ran in with glee to dance “but not only did they stop before Luda’s verse “which is the best part of any song ever, “they cut it off before the second verse!” – Oh no! – “Think twice, no thrice, before coming here!” One star! – Oh, oh. – Now that’s pretty whiney. – That is whiney as hell. – But that is– – I wasn’t reacting at the song stoppage. – I was, because that’s also a good point, like you know Luda’s coming. – No, it’s not a good point. Come on man! Admit it man, this is what the DJ does. Listen, you can go to Spotify, go home, listen to the whole song, you know what I’m saying? – Yeah that is true. – Without a problem, but this right here– – But when I’m out with my girls and I know Luda’s about to hit the floor. (Rhett and Terry laugh) – Yeah, right, I mean I get the whole mixing things but that Luda verse… – I’m feeling Claire or whatever her name is. – Oh man, you can’t please anybody. Yeah, that’s whiney– – All right, too whiney… – Whine. – I think the one star is really, that’s when she went too far. – No they trying to ruin peoples lives. – One star. – That’s what they’re trying to do with it. – Okay. – Somebody’s just spent their whole farm on The Woods, someone put their whole life savings into this and she’s trying to kill it over not playing a Luda verse. – And it’s just a DJ who they hired for one night, you know? – Should hire ’em again. – Too whiney, you’re right. – Okay. – Thank you. – Okay, you swayed me. Now since you– – All right, review number two, the Brooklyn Bowl, the bowling concert venue in Williamsburg. – Okay. – “I came here tonight with my husband “but the bouncer didn’t let me in “because I didn’t bring my ID. “Sounds fair? “Wait, did I mention I’m eight months pregnant “and my belly is about the size of a yoga ball, the big one, “there’s no way he couldn’t tell. “My husband quote, “”This is my wife, we are just here for some food.” “Him, “No, she needs an ID.” “Us, “Can we have some food to go?” “Him, “No” “Then he just walked away. “I don’t know why a bowling place asked for ID, “if that’s the policy, fine, “but there’s gotta be a reason behind it right? “Dude, do you think this pregnant woman is either underage “after carting her husband, “or she’s gonna go inside drinking a ton of alcohol “and going wild? “Use your brain once in a while, it doesn’t hurt. “And by the way, nice attitude. “That’s definitely gonna get you somewhere.” – Yep, mm. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. – I’m sorry, I feel her emotion. – Yeah yeah yeah yeah. – First of all– – I felt her pregnant, the flashes, the heat, the– – Right. – Before we get into too whiney or not, you’re reading all of these from now on. (Terry laughs) – That was awesome. – I’m sorry, I felt her pain. – Please do that. – That was awesome. – That was not whiney. – That was a really great point, she’s like a fricking lawyer. – There’s no circumstance where you don’t let a pregnant woman, a pregnant woman can rob a bank if she wants to. You know what I’m saying? – You know what, and then he’s like, “Look we just want some food.” How can you deny a pregnant woman food? – Eating for two, no. – That’s crazy, that, no. Brooklyn bowl, you need to be shut down. (Rhett laughs) I’m never going there. – Yeah, too much whine. – I’m about to get sued. (Rhett laughs) I love you Brooklyn bowl. (Rhett laughs) (Terry laughs) – Please read another one. – Yeah, I will. Okay I’m sweating now, I really am. – Oh, wow. – This is gonna make me whole point, I can’t wait for my Twitter. All right, venue, the Night of Joy cocktail bar, Williamsburg. – Night of Joy. – From Whuzmer G, “There’s a bartender there, “her name is Aileen Wournos,” (all laugh) – Whoa. “and she should maybe adjust her attitude “if she wants to work in the service industry.” Now you know, I think– – One star. – One star. But wait, do you know Aileen Wournos is like the lady from Monster? I wanna put this together, isn’t that the same name of the lady from… – Is that a movie? – I don’t know, yeah, yeah, Charlize Theron, I mean I don’t– – Oh. – It sounds like the same lady. But wow. – I think calling her out, I think calling out first and last name– – Wow! – That’s taking it too far, don’t you think? – That went in. – And now we said it. – He’s literally stalking, you know what I mean? – You gotta give specifics if you’re gonna go in this hard. – Yeah he didn’t say what she did wrong. – It’s just empty whining. – That sounds like somebody who probably likes her like high school, and then you hit her, and she does like “Why are you hitting me?” And then it’s like– – “She needs to work on her attitude.” Right, yeah. – Yeah, you know what I mean. – Do you see my Yelp review of you? – Uh uh, no, no, this is not a whine, not a whine. – Not a whine? – It is a whine. – It is a whine. – No what I mean is, it is a whine rather, but it’s not– – Too whiney. – It’s doesn’t, it’s too whiney, sorry. – Too whiney. – Too whiney. – It’s Too whiney. – Does not count as an actual official legitimate whine. – Oh, we just got some information. Aileen Wournos is a serial killer. – That’s the thing. – Oh. – That’s the thing, it’s right, I said it’s the lady from Monster. – Oh it’s– – Oh. – No, ’cause there’s Charlize Theron played her in the movie Monster, got an Oscar for that by the way. – Ah, got it, okay. – And so he’s calling her out as a serial killer. – So this makes me think a lot differently, she’s not calling somebody out personally this person was so bad that they’re like a serial killer, that’s what he’s saying. – But his, like comedic facetiousness is not very clear in the way that he wrote it – No it’s not. – ’cause her name is, as opposed to, I’m guessing her name is, something’s wrong with that. – It’s weird. – The joke. – He might be the serial killer. – It’s a weird joke. – He might be giving us a clue, you know what I mean? Watch out for him. – So it’s not that it’s whiney, it’s just that it’s not welL constructed comically. – No it’s not. – Yeah right. It was being very critical. – We go on the next one? – You ever done a Yelp review yourself? – No, no I haven’t. – I did one, one time. Like right when we moved to LA, I was like you know what, I’m starting to use Yelp more, I feel like I need to give back to the community, I went to this place, it was horrible, and I was like, “This is my chance, “I’m gonna rip this place a new one.” Which I did. And then, I get an email, I thought it was automated but it wasn’t, it was from Yelp, and they said, “We just wanna let you know “that the manager complained about your review “and we’ve taken it down.” – Whoa! – That can happen? – Yeah they can do that. And the only review I ever gave was that one, so they’re like, “Listen, this guys gonna come on Yelp “just to hate on this one place, that’s not in good form.” I think you’ve got to demonstrate that you’re going to give a lot of reviews and that you’re gonna be even handed. – No, see that– – Which I think that’s good. – But that’s why I don’t waste time with Yelp, I go straight to Twitter just like the president. – Oh yeah yeah yeah. – You know what I mean, I call everybody out. I call ’em out. I had, one time there was this delivery service, a food delivery service, who was like, “I just delivered food for Terry Crews “and his family, they don’t tip.” – Oh no. – On Twitter! He actually, they actually mentioned me and that he went to my house and, that’s a no no man. I went right to that service and I put ’em on blast on Twitter, like “Yo, you better train your employees “not to tell people what’s going on, “not to tell all this.” You know what I mean? So Twitter usually is just more effective than Yelp for me. – Straight to Twitter. – ’cause they know it’s me, you know what I mean. (Rhett laughs) (Terry laughs) I’m sorry, why did I get evil like that? That was weird. – We’re friends again I think. – I know, I gotta calm down. – All right, hit us with another one. – Okay, here we go. Oh the review, Two Boots Pizzeria, now I have been there, Park Slope, I’ve been there. – You’ve been there, you’ve been to Two Boots. – Ah man, it was pretty good. Three words from Donna F, “Yuck, yucky and yuckier.” – Okay. – “Okay, I have to write more. “I have no idea how they make their crust, “I was afraid I was gonna crack my teeth. “Tasted like I was chewing on sand. “Pizza with red onion and mushrooms, tasteless. “I was putting every one, “I was putting every one, every condiment on “to give it taste. “Dirty and pretty much self service, “there was a good band though.” (all laugh) One star, whoa. – There was a good band. – Now my question is, did she order red onion and mushroom? – Right, ’cause she’s complaining about it like, yeah that’s, you made the choice of what was on the pizza. – I think she’s just being, – Right? – I like this one, you know why? It’s specific, she says what she ordered, she says what it tasted like, I felt like I was there, I was drawn into the narrative. – It was pretty descriptive. – Yeah it was very descriptive. – Said what she had, said what she did to try to rescue the situation. – And she ended on something positive, and she conjugated yuck. – But she was fighting through it. Like if it was yucky on the, if she was gonna crack her teeth, why is she putting more condiments on, to what? Chew on it some more? – I guess she’s hungry. – If I don’t like something, just like what I just had over here, I don’t eat anymore. – I keep eating it. – No I– – I don’t know, but– – I’m saying she’s good, this is– – I think this one’s okay– – Yeah, okay. It’s not too whiney. – I defer, I defer. – Good band though. – That’s a good whine one. – Good band. – That’s a good whine, yes and the band was rocking, she gave them the props. – And finally– – And finally, are we ready? This is one, ooh Sprittenhaus, 33, Beer Hall in Greenpoint. Is that it, Spritzen? Did I say it right? Schpitzenhaus? – Schpitzenhaus. – Schpitzenhaus. – Spitzenhaus does spittery. – Spitzenhaus, 33. Dave B, “if you enjoy hanging out with “a family of large roaches while enjoying a beer,” – I like the comedy here. – “Check out the outside benches. “one might even crawl up onto your neck “if you’re lucky like me. “Luckily the windows around the establishment were all open “so if the roaches felt cold, “they could just hang out outside “right near the open food bar. “The beer selection is great here. “Although their disenchanted and uninterested bartenders “would probably rather not tell you about them.” One star. I like this guy. – This is good. This is good creative writing. – This is as creative as, I mean I’m in a movie, I’m there. The roaches are crawling on my neck. – The windows are open. – The windows are open. – There’s disenchanted uninterested bartenders. – It’s near the food. – If you’re gonna take the time to write a review you need to be a little bit poetic. Jumping off your story, I’ve only done one Yelp review as well and it was for a seafood restaurant in North Carolina that was on the water but had no windows. (Terry laughs) And I wrote– – Were you talking about how they need to remodel? – I just wrote a very ironic, similar to this, facetious sarcastic review, about how I loved how they like made me wait for the view after I left the restaurant. (Terry laughs) – That was good. – And then they got, they didn’t email me but they responded to it like they were very upset with me. I was like, just make a window. – Whoa. All you gotta do is like cut a hole. – Right? – You know what I mean? You’re on the water. (Rhett laughs) – Now I have to say they’re not whining because anytime you see a roach, that’s not a whine. – Right, yep – Yeah that’s– – If you see a roach where you’re eating I guarantee there are a million more so that’s, I could never call that– – Yeah. – If you saw one, Spritzenhaus is not a good one. – We agree, can we also agree that you’re willing to come back. – Yes. – Lets put the past behind us. – I’m with it. – All right. – We’re all good, I love you guys man. I love you, I love you, I trust you again. (Rhett and Link laugh) We’re back. – Thanks for coming in man. – Thank you man, it was fun. – [Link] Got some hair? Got some lips? Got some stink? Get the mythical grooming collection available now at mythical.com.