Welcome to Good Mythical More. We’re gonna shred lettuce in the weirdest ways that we can come up with. – Merchicality! – Boom, boom, boom. – That means that Pamela Warren, ’cause she posted a picture of her merch, look at that, some place mats on the table, with #Merchicality and you win, Pamela, a $30 Mythical.com gift card. And while we’re talking about Mythical.com, you know what? Y’all be buying that merch over there and sometimes some items sell out real fast. What we have done now is we have created a last chance section at Mythical.com so you can get your hands on some classic merch while you can, and don’t say we didn’t warn you. – Mythical.com, look at that last chance segment. All right– – Segment? – The segment, you know if you were to divide the website up into segments, that would be one of the segments. – I’m gonna divide my mustards, so you know, you know the thing I love about this show? Is when you win a game, you feel like a winner and the things that they give you, they make you feel like a winner. – Yeah, you earned it, man. Just bask in the glory of eating that yellow submarine. – I’ve always loved mustard. – Of course it’s gonna come as no surprise that I’ve never really liked mustard until recently. Like there’s certain things I’ve realized that– – Wow, it’s good. – Sausage without mustard is really not a complete sausage. – I’m such a winner, mm. – Man, if I would have just said– – I don’t need water. – If I would’ve just hit the UK the third time I was aiming at it and I was right. The three times I tried to hit it, the furthest I was from it was the time when I was correct, and that would’ve made all the difference in the world. – Hey, you’re starting to understand. If you get closer to the countries that are the right answer, you have a chance of winning. – You just broke my pinky, look at that. You just bent my pinky backwards. – That’s the strategy. – All right, bring in the lettuce. Where is the lettuce? So we have, we’ve got a freaking ax, we’ve got like real life Edwards Scissorhands. We’ll get to that in a second. – I don’t feel safe. – So bring in the, what’s that called, paper shredder? – I think it’s just called a paper cutter. – Paper cutter. This is a hand crank paper shredder, mini paper shredder. – I think we should do some things with larger pieces of, oh, gosh, there’s barbed wire. And it was just popping up right there, it was a little barbed wire surprise. Was that a booby trap, Lucas? He booby trapped something. Why’s it called a booby trap? Has a booby ever been trapped in one? – Yeah, you know, boobies are going extinct because they always get trapped. – Right, because of all the sports bras. – I’m gonna move this over here so I don’t hurt myself. We also have like a harp cheese grater or something. – Are you gonna serenade us while we? – And then we have these things that we’re gonna try, some sort of like a ribbon shredder. – So those are gonna be for more individual leaves of lettuce. – We gonna get hurt, but it’s okay. All right, so let’s start here. Rotate this around so the people at home can see it. – Why don’t you take the ax, Link? – How does this work? – Yeah, I’ll figure it out. You should take this, don’t hurt yourself. – Ooh, that nestles down in there. Ooh, that feels good. Now are these ax proof gloves? – There’s a safety mechanism. – No, they’re not. Look at that, ooh. Look at that, y’all. Lettuce doesn’t smell great. Is this why Subway smell weird? – Lucas, how do I undo the safety mechanism here? – It’s the back. – Right there, right? So I just push it. – You want me to ax it? – I think it might be because I’ve got these gloves on. – All right, so Imma get down to shredding this. – Don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt yourself. – Oh, now this is nice, y’all. It’s got a real satisfying feel. Look at that. – Okay, here we go, just gonna line it up, and let it rip. Don’t put your hand in there, okay? – You want me to hold it with the ax? That worked. – Look at that. – Can I try it on this? – They could have one of these at In-N-Out. – Can I try? – I’ll be that guy, I’ll wear the little hat and everything. – Ooh, that seems satisfying, can I do one? I’m gonna put my hand around it. What are you looking at? You’re looking up there all of a sudden? – Did any of the lettuce get up there? You want a new head? What do you need from me right now? – I don’t need, I just need your encouragement. – Do it. – Man, look at that. – You could work at In-N-Out too. – All right, so let’s move on. So both of these worked. So that’s nice. No need to use that. – That actually did a really good job. And listen, we’re gonna take all this lettuce, and we’re gonna bag it up, we’re gonna put it in the Mythical Kitchen and just hope that Josh does something amazing with it. – Okay, now we gotta go with paper. See now, I’m gonna put some paper-thin lettuce down in here, I’ll start with the hard end. And I’m gonna try to, is this gonna work? Is that gonna shove in there? – Sure, sure. – I can’t really use gloves. Is yours going in there? – First of all, what are y’all shredding, postcards? – It’s a mini shredder. – For mini paper? – I mean I have a paper towel, I wonder if I could even shred this paper towel. I don’t even think that will work. I’m just gonna, just proof of concept here. There we go. – Also, once it gets caught. – Whoo, look at that! Ooh, that’s nice. I mean it’s not lettuce, but… – This isn’t working. – It didn’t shred the paper towel, it perforated it. – Oh yeah, I could still read your social security number on that. Pretty easily, I’m going through your trash, if you’ve got one of these, first of all, God bless you. Considering you can get an automatic shredder for like $17 now. How is this even a thing? – I’m not gonna throw this away, I wanna let you know that I’m gonna give this to Josh, so he can dab his lips with it. – Yeah yeah yeah, after he works himself into a frenzy, making stuff with all this lettuce. – All right, so I’d really like to get the lettuce in there. – Let’s take some of that, let’s use some of that barbed wire that I used to call bob wire when I was a kid. – This doesn’t work, this doesn’t work, guys, fail. – So Link, here, let’s put a head right there. Now I’m gonna grab one end of that barbed wire, you grab the other end, and let’s just… Let’s just be a cooperative team here. – This reminds me of when I tried to break into prison. There’s a lot of, if you wanna visit someone in prison, it’s a lot of trouble, unless you break in. What are you doing? – I’m trying to get a good grip so I can pull it tight. – Hey, don’t pull it tight. – We can rub it against each other. – I think this is still gonna, I think that’s still gonna penetrate my glove. – You think it’s gonna penetrate your glove, I don’t think it’s gonna penetrate my glove. – Why you pulling so hard? – ‘Cause we gotta get it taut so we can rub it on the lettuce. – Okay, we’re gonna rub bob wire on lettuce. Get rid of this. – You gotta take the slack out, Jack. There you go, take that slack out. – Come this way. Now is this gonna involve more dad grunting on your part? – Somebody’s gotta hold it. Is that you? You’re making that noise, how you making that noise? – It was scratching the table. – Oh yeah, yeah. – Ho ho hold. – Pull it tighter! – Don’t pull it so tight. We’re only using this bob? – That’s the only bob that we’re using, man. You wanna get that bob really in there. Yeah, grunt. (both grunt) Look at us at In-N-Out. Y’all wanna go to In-N-Out, look in the window and see those dads? The lettuce daddies? – Lettuce daddies. Line up and around the block to see the lettuce daddies. – Today they’re using bob wire. Look at me, I get $11 an hour for this. – You know, prisoners, they climb the fence with their heads of lettuce, they just climb up there and they’re like. They got Subways in prison, I think. – Here, I’ll take this home. – Home? It’s stuck to me, now look at that, guys, it’s just eviscerated. That’s amazing. – I’m gonna put it across, I’m gonna put it on my bedroom door, with a big sign that says “Keep out!” – Like a teenager. – Teen zone. – Teen zone. – Listen, I know when I’m entering the teen zone, I just go upstairs and I smell teen. – Listen to this. – Don’t have kids. – Listen to this. – Don’t have kids, unless you’ve got smelling salts that you can constantly put under your nose. – Listen to this. – All right. (lettuce crackles) Oh, that’s ASMR. I’m sure that lettuce ASMR has been done. – Right, so now, more like lettuce AF, you know what I’m saying? (lettuce crackles) – Don’t let the face you make when you do ASMR, I’ve been watching. – Kind of a gross face? Here. – You can’t look directly at the camera, you have to look just below it. – That’s enough of that, go for the… – Oh, glad you don’t trust yourself enough to put these on. – What is that? – Edward Scissorhands, man. – Edward Scissorhands, and in the meantime, I’m gonna use this harp. I mean, it’s just not, there’s not much that you can do with a harp. – [Rhett] Some sharp scissors, y’all. – [Link] Is this harp supposed to cut cheese? – Now I totally understand all the issues that Edward had in the movie. – What kind of harp is this? What’s this harp originally intended for? – I think grating cheese, cutting cheese. – It’s not, it’s just a decorative harp. – Edward Scissorhands, two pieces of information about Edward Scissorhands. A, it is a Christmas movie, sometimes you forget that. – Is Leonardo DiCaprio in that? – No, Johnny Depp. – I know Johnny Depp’s in it, but I also thought Leonardo DiCaprio was in it. – No, that’s What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, that you’re thinking about. – How does Gilbert cut the grapes? – With barbed wire. – Scissor hands, all right, go for it. – So I’m gonna need… This is what he does in the movie. It holds up, that’s the other thing, it’s a good movie, I really like it. I stand by that. – You know a movie that holds up? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. – Which one? – The first one. Back me up, Ben, it holds up. – A piece of furniture that you have that you put the DVD under because it’s out of balance? – Here you go. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, keep going, man, keep going. Oh yeah. It’s kinda hurting my hand, but keep going. Yeah, I like that, keep cutting my hand a little bit, keep going. – What if you didn’t know that you were bleeding badly? It’s fun, I like it. Are you bleeding? – This is not my hand, this is a glove. – How’s that feel? – It feels a little over the edge, let’s use some lettuce. Oh yeah. Yeah, lettuce daddies. – See when you hold it, bring it back. – They’re lining up around the block. – You don’t wanna accidentally go the same way the same time, because that creates a problem. You gotta go the opposite way. – I’m getting lettuce juice in my mouth, man. And just because I teased this, I’m gonna do it. It’s some sort of a… – Well check this out, before that. – Oh! – Did I do that off camera, lemme do it on camera. – Oh! Look at that, you Wolverined that lettuce. – Now throw one on my left hand. Just throw it straight up, I’ll catch it. – Ho! – I think I’m gonna start a YouTube channel. – You’ve got plenty of those. – Rhetward Scissorhands. Miss that merch the first time around? Get it now before it’s gone. Visit the last chance section at Mythical.com.