(rooster crows) (lion roars) – Welcome to Good Mythical More, the place where you can be mildly un-infuriated. – We’re giving $1000 to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Make-A-Wish grants life changing wishes to children diagnosed with critical illnesses and we are very proud to say that we support them and we’ve had the privilege of being involved in a number of their wishes. If you would like to join us in giving at Wish.org/donate, then do it. – At Wish.org/donate, thanks for being your mythical best. Okay. Let’s see some images, you know what? Throw the first image up there. Here is a woman who I haven’t seen until right now and boy is she convincingly annoyed about something. This has got stock photo vibes. – Yeah. – Big time. – So I gotta start brushing my teeth, now… – And we gotta figure out what are these people upset or mildly infuriated by? – I’d like to make a toast to the bride. Listen– – Oh, even your frigging thing matches your– – Yeah, but look– – The ensemble. – It won’t even stop, it won’t stop. I can’t stop matching, all I can do today is match. Link– – All I do is match. – You may know this, and I think I’ve talked about it on Ear Biscuit at one point, I, for the past 12, 18 months– – Haven’t brushed your teeth. I’ve noticed. – I haven’t been rinsing after brushing. – What, seriously? See this is not punishment for you. – Because– – First of all, that’s not enough. – Nope? – Double that. – Pea, I’m gonna show you how I brush my teeth. All right I use a Quip toothbrush, a sponsor of Ear Biscuits but what I do– – Not a not a sponsor. – Is I use a pea shape… Amount – Yeah, a dollop – ’cause that’s what it says and then I brush and I leave it in there ’cause you want the fluoride to do it’s job. Look it up on the internet, I’m right. – So why did you dip it in your mug? That was mildly infuriating. – And typically it would be buzzing ’cause it was a quip. – This is not an ad. (Rhett hums) I don’t know to buzz myself or buzz my hand. – How long do you leave it? – Indefinitely. – You swallow the toothpaste? – No, you spit the toothpaste out but you do not rinse your mouth. – Ah. Where are you gonna spit? – In your mug. – No you’re not. Okay, what could this woman be upset about in the world of stock photos? See that kind of throws the whole thing off Zak, I’m just saying, because I know that she’s acting. – [Stevie] Why are you bringing this up with Zak? – Because… – Zak it’s all your fault. – Did you crop this image? – [Zak] Yes. – Yes you did, see. And then when we zoom out, you’re in charge of the zooming out of the image? (crew laugh) – [Zak] It’s the whole picture. – It’s the whole. (Link laughs) Um, I mean in a stock photo world you could be annoyed by anything so I’m gonna guess it’s a racket, it’s related to sound. So I’ve got the corner on sound, and I think it’s – I was thinking sound at first – I think she’s surrounded by, why are you? You know what? I spoke first. – No but I’m changing it. – I’ve got the corner on sound. I think it’s kids who are pantomiming making a lot of noise but in reality, as the photo was taken no noise was actually being made. – Um. (Rhett spits) – This is what– – [Stevie] This is like a punishment for everybody watching. (Rhett knocking) (Rhett sighs) – And now I’m done. (crew laugh) I mean that’s not a punishment for me. I’m letting the toothpaste do the job that it was invented for. – I gargled last night with mouthwash– – And yes, it is a little bit poisonous. – And it was so strong, I then gargled with water afterward and I was like, “I shouldn’t be doing this, “I should just ride it out.” – ‘Cause right now, the things that are happening in my mouth for my own oral health, next level stuff. – What’s your guess? – Little dog. – Little dog. – Little loud dog. – I have the corner on– – You can’t have a corner on sound. – [Stevie] Yeah. – All right. – [Stevie] You said kids and then Rhett says dog. – All right, fine. We’re both saying… Yes, okay. Okay, we were both wrong but – [Rhett] It is a kid though. – [Stevie] No no, wait, you were right. – [Rhett] But the kid is not being loud, the kid is being annoying. – [Stevie] Okay. – Yeah and look there’s a television screen in the background. – Hey, but that is a very very dog like child. (crew laughs) (Rhett knocks) – Your kid looks like a dog, man. – [Stevie] That’s like Damiel here. – Yep, see. Oh gosh, why did I have kids? – Oh no, this is not a stock image. This is a little blurry, that guy– – [Rhett] That’s from a football match and I mean football in the traditional sense. – You know what this is? This guy is in a shoe store and someone’s helping him try on shoes, it’s too small. (crew laughs) It’s like “God, the loafers! “This loafer’s too small!” And he’s saying “Small!” Right there. “Loafer’s too small!” – That’s very specific. I think he’s being goosed. – Are you saying that someone is sticking an object in his rectum. – Yeah, you don’t have to go in the rectum to goose. – On the rectum. – No. When it’s goosed, that’s called a swan. I mean (Rhett laughs) when it goes in, that’s called a swan, when it just taps it’s called a goose. Here’s the thing, I watched a video the other day on the internet and it was a dude at a stadium– – Goosing? – Fighting, fighting a dude. And all these people were trying to break it up and an old man just comes up and it’s like, he’s the stadium so he’s like lower than the guy, and he reaches between the guys legs and does what we used to call the wiener hang which is the move where during the middle of a wrestling match you just grab somebody’s balls and pull, and he did– – I’ve never heard the term wiener hang. – Yeah, yeah. And he did it to this guy and the guy had this guy in a headlock and it’s like when somebody grabs hold of your nether regions, I don’t care who you are, you let go and he immediately like let go and that’s what’s happening here. This man is a victim of the wiener hang. (Rhett and crew laugh) – [Stevie] Okay, let’s see if it’s yeah. (Rhett laughs) – [Link] He’s putting out a fire. – [Rhett] Fire with a hammer. – [Link] Hold on, so this is stock photo too? – [Rhett] Definitely. – [Stevie] Yeah. – [Rhett] No no, that’s live footage from an office. Oh no, he’s destroying a computer. – [Stevie] Well, to be fair– – [Link] No, he’s trying to put out a fire on a laptop with a– – [Stevie] We can not see his nether regions so Rhett could still be right. – [Rhett] Yeah, he could be wiener hanged, listen– – Stevie, have you ever heard that term? – [Stevie] I have not. – No, he’s not trying to put the fire out Link, he’s mad at the computer, he lit it on fire and now he’s destroying it so two for one. – Well how tight are his shoes? – [Stevie] That’s true, you make a fair point my argument could be used for shoes. – Probably too small. – [Stevie] And you said loafers and it does look like a loafer outfit. – That’s true. – So point for both of you. – Okay. – Thank you. – That’s very generous. – All right. Oh, look at her. Okay these are all stock photos, let’s get over that, let’s move past that. – [Rhett] She seems less annoyed and more confused like, “Is that a centimeter?” (Rhett and crew laugh) – A centimeter? (Rhett and crew laugh) A centimeter? She’s measuring something. (Rhett and crew laugh) She’s reading– – I don’t even know what I mean by that. – Is that a centimeter? She’s looking at a ruler. (Rhett and crew laugh) She’s looking at a metric ruler. – Yeah. – No, I’m saying she’s looking at, uh, she’s reading some bad news. – She definitely has a ruler. – It’s like a pink slip, she– – Definitely has a ruler. That’s a ruler face. – I think it’s an instruction manual and it’s really confusing. – [Rhett] Oh, hey hey, units of measurement, dollar bills, I told you she’s confused. – [Link] What is she actually– – [Stevie] She’s a waitress and she’s pissed about her small tip. – [Rhett] Yeah, yeah yeah yeah – [Link] Oh that’s what it is, Yeah. – yeah yeah. – [Stevie] Which brings us back to the wiener hang. (Stevie and Rhett laugh) Um, okay. Well wait, I need to award a point, Zak gosh. I think that Rhett made it really great– (Stevie and Rhett laugh) with centimeters. – Yeah, that’s right. – [Stevie] So I’m– – If somebody– – Centimeters. – She could be getting wiener hanged. (Rhett and crew laugh) – [Stevie] That’s true. – So another point for me, (Rhett laughs) is that what you’re saying? – Yeah, yeah. – Okay. First of all, this guy is a bad stock photo model. Like this was day one and only of this guy’s stock photo career, overacting, bad haircut, like everything about him. – “Hey Stan, Stan you need to pull back a little bit buddy.” It’s like, “My son, my grandson actually, “he is a model.” – Was a pamphlet. – “He’s a model.” – He made it in a pamphlet. – “My grandson is a model and you should see the photos. “He does all kinds of faces. “What they do is they sell his photo “and then they put him in other things. “He’s selling stuff he didn’t even know about. “He’s got his mouth open, “they can put anything going in there.” (Rhett laughs) – So you think something’s going in his mouth. – Uh, I think he’s being wiener hanged. (Rhett and crew laugh) I mean, if I were to be wiener hanged that’s probably the face I’d make. (Rhett and crew laugh) – I think that, first of all, this is somebody who doesn’t know the difference between annoyed and scared, like just somebody who can’t take direction, you know? So I, (Rhett laughs) I think he’s acting scared of someone in a stupid costume, like a costume that’s even dumber than this guy. – You do make an excellent point that there are people whose job it is to be the director on a photo shoot for stock photos. – Yeah. (Link sighs) – Okay. – [Stevie] Okay, let’s see it. – [Link] These make me so angry. (crew laugh) Like stock photos… Stock photos are just so, what’s the word? – Do you know the new trend now? Have you seen the new trend? – Yeah it is fair, I mean look at our thumbnails. – Have you seen when the like– – Looked like a thumbnail. – When the young folks these days, when they make internet videos with stock images, the thing to do is to just purposely leave the watermark in. – Yeah. – And so now it’s like, what are the old people gonna do with our watermarks? We gotta make watermarks illegal now because the young folks are not, it’s like people re-posting things with Getty Images on it, it doesn’t matter. – Yeah. – We need to do that. – And when are the young folks gonna start liking broccoli? – I don’t know man. – [Stevie] I do not know how to award points for this round so unfortunately – You gotta put cheese on it. – [Stevie] I’m going with zero and zero. – Okay. Boy I’m really demoralized. Look at her. – [Rhett] Uh, okay. Wow man. – [Link] Now she– – [Rhett] She must know that last guy. She’s been taking all our cues from that broccoli guy. – [Link] She’s got a future somewhere. – [Rhett] Not in stock photos though. – [Link] Wow. – Are you like what she’s giving here? – I do. (Rhett and crew laugh) She can put those eyeballs in all types of directions. – Yep, that is true. – It’s like wow, the extreme, she’s like a chameleon. – Now, I don’t mean to go here necessarily but I mean, the posture and also the eye positioning of a goosing as well, you know? – I think she’s reluctantly wiener hanging someone. (Rhett and crew laugh) – This is called a backwards wiener hang. – The wiener hang reversal. – This is when someone gets to close to you in line. – Zak, can you take this photo and photoshop– – He didn’t take the photo. – I just want her right eye to just go in a totally different direction like chameleon this thing. – I mean, I’m sure that could be done but not in short notice like this. – Oh really? Well since when do you speak for Zak? Zak can you do this? – [Zak] I will get right on it. – Okay. – See, he’s gonna get right on it. – Yeah but we can’t show it now. – Um, boy. – I think she got creeper, creeper behind her. Somebody’s like “What?” You know like, somebody came up behind her. – I think she’s holding a bag of something like a bag of toxic something. Something generic like toxic waste bag. – [Stevie] Okay, I’m gonna give you a hint. – Yes you may. (crew laughs) – [Stevie] She’s rejecting something. – A kiss. – She’s rejecting a hug. – she’s rejecting a kiss. – I always said it was a creeper. – No, it’s a hug. – [Stevie] You guys are gonna go with hug and kiss? – Uh. – Really, it’s that. – [Stevie] Those are like close together. – A bag of toxic waste. (crew laughs) – [Stevie] She’s rejecting a bag of toxic waste? – It’s a stock photo, – Wouldn’t you? – They just stood with that. – [Stevie] Yeah. Okay, let’s see what she’s rejecting. – [Rhett] Oh. – [Link] Oh. Yeah yeah yeah. – [Rhett] You know what, now that I see it all together it’s very believable. (Rhett and crew laugh) You know, now that I see that she’s rejecting a proposal, that’s the exact face that a woman would make. – [Link] I mean, it’s like a vampire rejecting a cross. – I said a creeper, I feel like I get the point on that one. – [Stevie] Yeah, no yeah, you get the point. – I don’t want the point. Oh look at that, that’s a… – [Rhett] That is a finger. (Link laughs) – [Link] That’s a finger that’s upset– – At another finger. It’s gonna be like two fingers like this. – Yeah I think the other finger is, what’s the other finger doing? – The other finger? This finger is yelling… At– – Another finger. – Another finger that is crying. – I think the other finger’s yelling too. – You think it’s just two yelling fingers? – Mm-hmm. (Rhett screams) You’re right. – [Stevie] That’s pretty dam good. – [Link] Crying finger. – [Rhett] I get two points for that. – [Link] Guys, this is sad. – [Stevie] Okay. – [Link] This really says a lot. – Man, now first of all, let me just say that these two finger puppets that took approximately four minutes at most to perfect are doing better acting than anything we’ve seen so far. – Yeah. More finger puppet stock photos please. Now, but what’s happening here. This guy’s verbally abusing this gal? – [Rhett] I think that, first of all, is that her hands or just a big necklace? (crew laugh) – [Link] I thought it was a necklace. – [Rhett] I think it’s her hands. I think she’s going like this, like… (Rhett whimpers) Okay– – Lay off man, lay off shorter finger, tall finger. – [Stevie] Okay, – Back off man. – [Stevie] This is the final final photo and Rhett has four and Link has two so I don’t know how you wanna play it, it means a lot, this final round. – [Link] This guy is– – [Rhett] I can imagine the sound this guy’s making. – [Link] I mean, it looks like he’s making a fart noise with his mouth and his butt at the same time. – [Rhett] Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah. – Whatever is happening here, this guy’s not proud of it. Like if I knew this guy and I was like, “Dude, I saw a picture.” He’s like “Yeah, I know, I know, “the things they get you to do man.” – No no no, this– – “I was there for 48 hours–” – I wouldn’t think this was a stock photo. – “With no bathroom breaks, no lunch breaks, “they just kept getting me to make faces “until I was delirious.” – I wouldn’t think this was a stock photo based on the lighting and also I feel like the expression but the red little boy hat is the part that really says it all. – [Link] He’s wearing a turtleneck and some sort of a red jacket. – [Rhett] Mm-hmm, yeah yeah yeah. – It’s like he’s attending a generic Tee-ball game. – It’s like he went into the stock photo headquarters and they just had a rack of clothing and he went to the red section and was like, “Okay, I’ll wear this hat that doesn’t fit me.” Hm. (Rhett laughs) – Oh man, you think he might be wiener hanging. (Rhett and crew laugh) – We’re really roasting this guy. I mean he could be thinking about centimeters, I don’t know. Uh, I think that there’s an animal involved, that’s my final answer. – [Stevie] Okay, I’ll give you a hint, there is a sport involved and something very specific is happening. – I said Tee-ball so a kid is hitting him in the nads with a (Link clicks tongue) – He’s a golfer and – He’s not a golfer – He has broken his club on himself, centimeters. – [Stevie] Okay, let’s see. – [Rhett] Yes. – [Link] He’s flipping the bird at a cactus. – [Rhett] That has a golf ball that is– – [Link] Did you say golf? – [Rhett] Yeah I said golf. Yeah, look at that guy playing golf. – [Link] How did you know he was playing golf? – [Rhett] Oh that’s a golf– – [Link] Because of the turtleneck? – [Rhett] It’s a golf face. – [Link] The golf shirt, I think he saw that. So the ball is lodged in the cactus. – Yeah but here’s the thing. – And what’s the rule on that? You can’t get that out. – That would probably be an unplayable lie and you’ll probably get a one stroke penalty to drop in the fairway, maybe two, I don’t know. – [Stevie] Okay, Link – But you get to take the cactus home. – [Stevie] I have good news and I have bad news. – [Link] Zak! See look, Zak comes through. – [Stevie] That was the good news. – Yes! – [Stevie] The bad news is that you lost. – Oh my gosh, that is scary. – Wow man. – That was quick man. See, take it back, take back what you said about Zak. – I take everything back Twinkie fingies. (crew laugh) – That’s some hot, quick work. Don’t press your luck by waiting too long to purchase a “Good luck with that,” tie-dye tee, get one now at Mythical.com.