(rooster crowing) (lion roars) – Waft it. – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Do we know about having babies? Even though we’ve witnessed so many? Maybe we’ve forgotten. – Okay, first, Merchicality. We like to see ya’ll out there in the world repping that merch, just like that little baby. Never too young! And when you do, sometimes you get to win stuff. Congratulations to the winner, this time it’s Spooky Vee, you win a $30 Mythical.com gift card. – [Link] Ah, look at that. Merch leads to more merch, #Merchicality. – Wow I like that jingle. – So, Stevie, how much do you know about baby trivia? – [Stevie] I know everything that’s written for me on this scoreboard. – Okay, you were once a baby. – [Stevie] True. – This, I mean, I’m not going to get graphic here, but this does not smell like a vagina. It’s just a gimmick. – It’s a wonderful gimmick. Vagina is not a bad word. – No, it’s a proper term. – It’s a proper term. Quiz us, Stevie, let’s see what we know. – [Stevie] Okay, so I’m gonna ask you questions that sometimes have multiple answers, and that’s fine. So there’s no multiple choice or anything, you’re just gonna have to really dig deep on this. – Are we working together? – I’ve had more children than him, so we’re not working together because I feel like I could beat you. – [Stevie] How should you treat your baby’s gas? Name one acceptable answer other than burping them. – Celebrating. Gas means that the pipes are clear. – Okay, not burping. I was gonna say patting them on the back, that’s burping. – (he blows a raspberry) Baby has gas. – One of the things you can do is they make this tool that, we did not use it, but we use it on the show and it’s this little thing you stick in your baby’s behind, and it releases any trapped gas from their, colon. That’s one acceptable answer. – How did you treat it? You feed the baby, I don’t know, I always thought gas was a good thing. (Rhett laughing) So, celebrate it. – [Stevie] Okay. – I guess if you have gas pains. It’s like, when they fart that means that there’s relief, but if you know that they’re like, they can’t release it. I don’t know it’s kinda like CPR but for the belly. – Right, right, squeeze it right out of them. – I don’t know. – [Stevie] Okay, the answers I have are, change your feeding position, make sure their head is elevated above their stomach. Switch to a slower flow nipple, if you’re bottle feeding. Or, bicycle their legs. – Bicycle their legs, I’ve definitely done that. – Now, when you say “low flow nipple,” I mean, my right nipple is a high flow. My left nipple is a little lower. – Then switch sides. – So, switch sides. – Bicycle legs. – Well those aren’t– – Those aren’t options. – It’s not multiple choice. – [Stevie] Yeah, those are all truths. – Oh. (he laughs) So, neither one of us get a point. – I think my answer is technically correct. – We don’t get a point, for what? – Because it’s true. – For what? – We used the product on the show. – [Stevie] Did we? Is that true? – We talked about it. – [Stevie] It sounds real but I can’t remember- – We talked about it. Fine. – [Stevie] Okay. – I don’t have to get a point, whatever. – [Stevie] What’s the best way to prevent your baby from getting a flat head? – You need to rotate how the baby sleeps. – No. – Baby don’t need to sleep on the same side all the time. – Well, no, the back of the head is the flat part. – So put the baby on its belly. – You don’t want to do that, ’cause you might get SIDS. – Oh, yeah, right. – What you gotta do– – Baby sleep upright like a horse. – You buy, there’s a special, again there’s another product that is available for this that creates a little divot for your baby’s head to lay in. – Yeah but that’s not what she’s looking for. – Apparently, ’cause the first time I said about a product– – ‘Cause you can also put a helmet on your baby if the head starts to become- – I think you have to limit the amount of time they spend in the crib. That’s my answer. – I say rotate, let the baby sleep on its side, and then yeah, rotate the baby. Like a rotisserie chicken. – [Stevie] So, these answers are coming from your own personal experience of having multiple babies, right? – Well, I’ve wiped all that slate clean. – Both of of my kids have flat heads. So I mean we didn’t worry about it. – We’re making all this up. – They had gas and flat heads. I mean it’s just. – [Stevie] The answer is tummy time. The soft bones in a baby’s skull can flatten if they spend too much time sleeping or lying in the same position. But time on their stomachs will fix this, strengthening neck and back muscles, allowing them to turn their heads. – Yeah but not while they’re sleeping, you don’t put them to sleep but you give them tummy time. I remember that, I remember that now. – [Stevie] Name a recommended way to sooth a teething baby. – Ice. – Drugs. Can’t remember which ones. Man, our wives would still know all of this immediately, you know? – Yeah, ice. – I mean, you give them teething rings, but that doesn’t. – That’s another product, I went with a non-product answer. – That makes it hurt more. You can get stuff to rub on their gums. – That’s true. – I remember that. Like, a numbing thing. – I’m gonna go with tummy time. I think that relieves the pressure on the face. – This is creeping me out, by the way. I don’t like thinking about, having young children. No offense, Morgan. But like, I do not envy your position– – Age zero to one– – You got that little baby. – It’s just like they’re just a little bag of person and it’s just like. – Bag of bones, it’s not even. I’m not gonna say it’s not even a person, obviously it’s a person. It did sound like I was gonna say that, though. But I didn’t mean that. – Sometimes you can just think things and not say them. What’s the answer? – [Stevie] So, ice and some kind of drugs that you rub, is what your answers are? – Yeah, yeah, yeah, ice would work in a pinch. – [Stevie] Okay, but, real answers are Rub a cool metal spoon under gums. Keep wet wash cloths in the fridge, wring one out and give it to the baby to chomp on. Massage their gums. Or give them a chilled teething toy. – Listen, every single thing, three out of those four things– – I said a teething toy. – Were, like, cold things. For people who can’t afford a teething toy, they got ice. – I mean, how do you, when you think about, when our children were that young, now, like. Doesn’t it give you the willies? – I definitely am glad that that stage is over, and isn’t possible – To go back to? – to happen right now. At least, for me to be responsible for it. – And I am not looking forward to being a grandparent yet. I’m in that sweet spot. – Oh no, grandparent? I’m gonna be the best granddad. – But I’m not ready for that. You’re ready for that? – You want Locke to bring a baby home? – No, I’m not ready for it but I’m just saying that, at that point the gas and the flat head is. You’re like, I don’t care about that. This isn’t tummy time, this is grandpa time, we do whatever we want to. I could be giving them ice right outta the whiskey glass. You know? – Whiskey glass? – Yeah, I’m always gonna have a whiskey glass as a grandpa. – We are bad people. – Soothe that baby! – [Stevie] What is colic? And what are some ways to soothe a colic-y baby? – Colic is a general term for a baby that is difficult to soothe, it does not have a medical origin. And it differs from baby to baby, and it’s just whatever works for your baby. Sometimes it might be rocking, sometime it might be ice, sometimes it might be whiskey. – He’s wrong. It’s when babies either lay on their side a lot, or they wrestle with other babies and their ear starts to, be kinda, fleshy? Colic ear. And then you just drop the ear, and you say, oh, that baby’s got colic. But you know it’s the ear. – Right, yes. – [Stevie] Okay, so we’ve reached that point now. – I was right! – [Stevie] Yeah, you’re pretty right. Colic is when a healthy baby cries for a much longer time than most babies, more than three hours a day, or more than three days a week. – Just a bad baby, basically. – [Stevie] Symptoms include high pitched screaming, clenched fists, and red face or pale skin around the mouth. And colic doesn’t have a cure, but you can soothe the baby by giving them a hot bath, making sure they aren’t hungry, and checking for a clean diaper. Rocking or singing your baby, putting their carrier on top of the dryer, playing music, and putting your baby against your body, – Emphasis on top of the dryer, – And taking slow breaths. – Not in the dryer. – We got colic-y babies, that’s why I knew that. – This thing is, and Morgan, see you’re, how hold is your baby? – [Morgan] About nine months. – Nine months old now? See, the thing is, the communication is pretty one-sided, you know? It’s like you really, you love this baby so much and you want to make sure that he’s okay and that she’s happy, and all that stuff and, you know, but, you’re reading the tea leaves, and it’s so frustrating. Especially frustrating if they’re crying a lot. Oh my gosh what? What am I supposed to do? It’s like, should we call the doctor? Should I ask my mother-in-law? Do I have to talk to my mother-in-law? And all that type of stuff, you know? It’s like, you know, it’s so difficult. When they get older you start to blame their problems on them. – [Stevie] Have you known all the answers to the questions? – [Morgan] For the most part. – Yeah, see, he’s paying attention. – Of course Morgan knows. He’s fresh. – This is the final question. – The wounds are fresh, they’re open. – So I have a one point lead, and I have two additional symbolic ones. – [Morgan] Nothing matters anymore. – Nothing matters anymore, he says. – So I don’t think you can win. – [Stevie] What is the recommended way to trim your baby’s finger nails? – If you have a bicycle. You turn that bicycle upside down and you, you turn the wheel and then you just, you put the nails and you just grind them down on the side of the bike tire. – You can also do it with a fan. I think what you do is you go outside on some concrete, some cement, and, you let it crawl around. Take something that lures them like a little ball and you throw it around and they’ll, they’ll slowly wear themselves down. – If they’re at the crawling phase. – Right. – If they’re a real little baby they just kinda lay there, on the concrete. – You can still get them to make contact with the concrete. – Do you wanna know what you should do? – That’s a good way to trim your dog’s nails, by the way. – Yeah just let them run around on asphalt, on concrete. I don’t know what the real answer is, but I know what the practical answer is. I know what mamas actually do. They bite their kids’ fingernails. They do. – Yeah, some mamas do. The bad ones. – [Stevie] That is an acceptable answer, I guess, but I just learned that today. Or you do it when your baby’s asleep, calm, or drowsy. Or you use special baby nail clippers, or an emery board. – Yeah, you just file them down with a bike tire, I mean an emery board. – Yeah, right. – So I get that point. Okay, next one. – That was the last one. – That’s it. – Alright, ’cause we learned plenty. – I think I’m ready to have another baby now. – Yeah, I’m not ready to be a grandparent, or a parent again. – [Announcer] Join the Mythical Society Third Degree, Quarterly, or Annual Plan at Mythicalsociety.com to get the “Rhett and Link on Vacation” vinyl release.