(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) (wheel spinning) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Epic battles in our minds. We can use our imaginations. – 10-word story, first time we’ve done this in a while. Charlie. – Wondered. – What. – Flavor. – His. (both laughing) – Sweet. – Oh, god. Finger. (both laughing) – Worried. – Charlie wondered what flavor his sweet finger worried. About. Last word? – Charlie worried what his sweet finger worried about. Charlie wonders what flavor his sweet finger worried about. Correct? – And there’s one last word. – Correct. – No, you can’t do that. It’s gotta be a… – I can’t make it grammatically work. Worried about… (laughs) You seem to have an idea. You’re like… – It gotta worry about something. – Worried about… Correct. Comma, correct. – Charlie wondered what flavor his sweet finger worried about, correct? This is the worst one we’ve ever done. – All of them are the worst. What would you say? What would you have in mind? – It would have him worry about something. I didn’t have an answer. – Charlie wonders what flavor his sweet finger worried about- – Fingers. The finger worried about something. – We’re worried about fingers, okay. Does that make you happy? – Charlie wonders what flavor his sweet finger worried about fingers. (both laughing) When you said worried, I couldn’t… There’s nothing we could do there. – Yeah, I know. We just need to practice. We need to workshop it, me and you. We need to rent a beach house, and we need to do nothing but 10-word stories. – We’ll come back, we’ll be good at it. – What if we just did… What if we just did 24 hours of 10-word stories? We’d probably get really good at it and really bad at it. – Sounds like a 2007 idea. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. That ship has sailed. – Okay, we are going to take a look at some feuds. – Give us one, give us one. – Stevie, you’re gonna give us some feuds, and we’re gonna tell you who would win in an actual fight? – [Stevie] Yeah, I’m gonna give you some fictional fights and you’re gonna have to decide who wins. – We can do this, we can do this. – [Stevie] Who would win between a baby covered in peanut butter versus a baby covered in jelly? – So how old are these babies? I mean, we’re talking pre-toddler? We’re talking you can’t walk. When you walk, you’re not a baby, you’re a toddler. – It’s tough for babies to fight at that age. – I’ve never seen a baby fight. – I’ve never seen a baby get violent really. – Well, I’ve seen a baby react violently. – But a baby… But not like… But not hitting, not taking its hand and actually hitting something. – Let’s just imagine this. Two babies are crying and really doing this with their arms, and then you put ’em together to fight. – I think they would immediately embrace. – I think they would just (cries) if they’re really young. – Because if little babies had the potential to fight to that level, if you put two little babies in a crib, they would end up hurting each other. And that never happens. – Right. – Babies don’t hurt each other. – I think babies could hurt each other. – Well, I think it would be- – I don’t have any problem with that. – I think it would be accident. – I mean, I’m not betting on it or anything. I’m not paying per view it. – Here’s what I think. I think the baby in jelly would lose because the moment that they started realizing that they could fight and maybe even get up on their knees to try to get better leverage. The baby with jelly knees would slip. And I think, at that point, you gotta declare a winner, once one of the babies falls. How else you gonna judge this? – A baby becoming a toddler fights another baby covered in… – [Stevie] Let’s say they’re 18 months old. – What’s the most inhumane part of this? – Babies can walk at six months sometimes, I mean, if they’re early. – I’m saying, once they walk, they’re not a baby. – Well, that’s not true. You see a seven-month-old that can walk, that’s a baby. – That’s a toddler. – And they can crawl at a couple of months. I don’t know. – Yeah, they can crawl, so we can have a crawl fight. – Yeah, I say get up on their knees for leverage. – All right, I got you. – Then the jelly baby falls because of the slippy. – [Stevie] Babies are usually between nine and 18 months old when they learn how to walk. – Yeah, unless they’re, you know, gifted. – You know, parents put a lot of pressure on their kids, but it all comes out in the wash. – Yeah, there’s probably studies about it though. I mean, I’m not familiar with them. – I mean, you didn’t talk until you were, what, in third grade? – Yep, and look at me now. – Can’t shut up. What’s the most immoral part of this, covering a baby in peanut butter and jelly- – My dad took a long time to talk. – Or getting ’em to fight? Fight, kids, fight! I think the peanut butter guy’s stickier. I agree with you. – And I’m not making light of this, but allergies are not a thing in this scenario because that would obviously be a problem. – [Stevie] Let me check. – I mean, if you put peanut butter on a baby allergic to it- – [Stevie] No. – That’s horrible. – Right, that’s not what happened? – I’ve seen babies slather themselves in peanut butter. – There is a famous peanut butter baby on the internet. – Give us another one, Stevie. – But it wasn’t fighting. So jelly baby would lose is what I said. – [Stevie] The entire TikTok hype house versus Inspector Gadget. – How many people are in this hype house? Tell me more about the hype house. – [Stevie] Let me see. – Inspector Gadget, I know about Inspector Gadget. And I think if you know a lot about Inspector Gadget, you don’t know a lot about TikTokers. Those two things don’t- – The Venn diagram is not- – [Stevie] 20 of the biggest TikTok stars in the world. – Well, here’s the thing. If they were not currently filming it, they would not fight. You know what I’m saying? They wouldn’t actually… Inspector Gadget could come in there and just have his go-go-gadget arms and just be raising hell on their heads. And if they weren’t in the process of making a video, they would probably just run because it’s not an opportunity. It’s not an opportunity to leverage it for content. – I think this comes down to stamina, really, because they only go for like a minute. – That’s true, that’s true. – Even if you’ve got 20 of ’em, that’s 20 minutes. And then they try to cycle back in. You think they can recharge after 20 minutes and go in again? – You’re assuming that he can only take out one at a time. – Oh, he can take out multiple at a time. – I think he can take out maybe up to eight at one time. – I mean, all of the stuff that comes out of his hat alone could take out half of that- – Is this the cartoon version of Inspector Gadget, or the live action version? – [Stevie] I was picturing the cartoon version, but let me see. – I was picturing the cartoon version. – Yep. – Yeah, I think it’s the cartoon. – [Stevie] Yeah, it’s the cartoon version. – Definitely, definitely Gadget wins. – I mean, I’m- – And I’m rooting for him. (laughs) – I never, in all the episodes that I watched, Gadget never really… He never really got that violent. But I think, in his spare time, he would, you know… – He’s gotta practice on something to be ready for the Claw, Dr. Claw. – He was more of a pacifist, I think. – He was an inspector. – Yeah, he’s a food inspector, actually. Have you ever watched his show? Every week, he would- – He goes to different restaurants using a sanitation grid. – Yeah, he’d see how clean they were. And he would, like, a gloved hand would come out of his hat. And he would, like, scrape the table and sniff it. And he’d give ’em a score. – Right, very exciting television. – His daughter, Penny, was much smarter than him. And she knew how to turn it into a brand. You know, he sold t-shirts. Well, she sold t-shirts. It would say things like, “Grade A”. – Right, right. – So I think I’m gonna give this one to the TikTok house because I think Gadget’s just too nice. He’s capable, but he just can’t follow through. His morals are too high. – What about the next one? – [Stevie] Spider-Man versus Wolverine. – See, now we’re in this superhero geek territory that makes me uncomfortable. – This is like the back of a comic book shop. They’ll talk about this for days. – There’s people who talk… You know what? I’m gonna abstain from this one Because… Who’d you say, Wolverine? Wolverine would rip him to shreds. – Yeah, Wolverine would kill him easily, easily. – [Stevie] Okay, here’s one I’m more interested in. All five Spice Girls versus all seven dwarves. – Ooh. – Now, those dwarves have pick-axes ’cause they’re miners. I mean, Scary Spice, I don’t know, nothing about her, to me, is scary. I think quite the opposite. – Right, I’ve never gotten that either. – Picture a pick-ax in her eye socket, you know? It’s like, phew, that’ll kill you instantly. – But it’s difficult to tell- – Dopey’s sitting over there in the corner- – How tall the dwarves are. – Just looking in the wrong direction. – Because I’m not exactly sure how tall Snow White is. But if I assume that Snow White is of average height- – I read about this recently, eight-foot-two. – So if Snow White is- – The dwarves were average height. – If she’s five-six, five-five, I’m trying to picture a dwarf next to Snow White. It’s been so long. – Kind of like this, maybe halvsies. – Okay, so a little over two and a half feet tall. – I don’t know, I feel like the Spice Girls, they were so in shape, you know? – Some more than others. – [Chase] And they had platform heels. – And platform heels, Chase says. – I feel like they’re one step away from being a highly trained martial arts team. That’s what they should have done. They should have made a movie. – I think Sporty Spice did Tae Bo type stuff. That was how she danced. – In her dancing? – Yeah, she would dance like this. – Well, then I’m gonna give it to them because you can take out maybe two to three dwarves with a couple of right hooks. – They’re ruddy, man, ruddy guys. It’s hard to bring ’em down, low center of gravity. They got weapons. – But only one of ’em is grumpy. Some are happy, some are dopey, some are sleepy. – Some are Doc. – Right, he’s just there. He’s the medic. He doesn’t even count. That’s in case somebody gets hurt. – Oh, he was the medic. – So it’s technically six dwarves and one watching to wait and see who gets hurt. – I’d buy a ticket to that. I mean, if I was going around Disney World, and that was the show, I’d wait out front for an hour for that one, you know what I’m saying? If I’d get in there, the Spice Girls are gonna- – Spice Girls versus the Seven Dwarves. – Yeah, that’s pretty great. We’ve got a cloak, the Mythical Society cloak. Oh, yeah, let’s see this thing. Look at this thing. It is a soft sweatshirt material. It’s perfect for- – But still capable of cloaking. – It’s perfect for walking out, walking out in public without being seen, and just being cozy in your house. It’s kind of like a Slanket. – But not. – Is it a Slanket? – No, it’s its own thing. It’s a hooded blanket. – It’s a hooded blanket, and it’s the next quarterly thing. – You got to sign up for the 3rd Degree Monthly plan by July 31st at mythicalsociety.com in order to receive one. – It makes you warm in all the right places when you’re just… How do… It’s easy to get on right. I recommend getting out of your chair before you put it on. – Stevie, you got another feud? – [Stevie] Oh, boy, do I. – Let’s do another one. – [Stevie] A wounded Godzilla versus 2,000 pigeons. – 2,000 pigeons. You know, if a pigeon… What’s the top speed of a pigeon? ‘Cause if it goes right for the Godzilla’s eye, he’s blinded. – Well, I think really what we’re considering here is the wound, the nature of the wound. – Where is the wound? – Pigeons are notoriously dirty animals, right? And so if all 2,000 of those pigeons are like, “Fly to the wound,” and they flew into the wound, and when they got in there, they just release their cloacas and let everything out, he would immediately go into septic shock and die. – They didn’t say wound, though, they said injury. It’s he pulled his groin. – She said wounded. – Wounded? – She said wounded. I think there’s an opening. – That’s like an open, there’s an opening. – And if not that, just go into his mouth. Fly into his mouth. He’s wounded. He’s (gasps) breathing heavy. – [Stevie] There are multiple answers to how fast pigeons fly. But one source says up to 125 miles per hour. – Yeah, they can pierce the skin. We don’t even need a wound. – 120 miles an hour, you can pierce a little bit of skin. – Let’s go with 2,000 pigeons versus normal, healthy Godzilla. Pigeons win all day. 120 miles, 2,000 of ’em. Eventually, you get to the 1,500th pigeon, it’s gonna pierce his skin. The nasty, dirty pigeons, the last 500 get in there. Septic shock, he comes down like a ton of bricks. – I was gonna say, they should go for the- – Groin. – For the balls. – He doesn’t have balls. – I mean, Godzilla doesn’t have balls? – You ever seen a lizard? You picked a lizard up and seen balls? – Where are the balls? Where are lizards’ balls? – They’re probably inside it, and that doesn’t count. They gotta be hanging on the outside of your body to really count. – I watched footage of a bat showering itself in its own urine last night. – Did it have balls? – Let me tell you, not only did it have balls, it had a wiener in between ’em too, like a… – That’s the hose for the shower. – I mean, that thing is… Sometimes you might forget that a bat is mammalian until you see it shower itself in its own urine. I mean, nothing but balls and wiener. – It’s interesting because birds don’t have that. Most birds don’t have penises at all because they’re like, “I don’t need this thing. “I gotta fly.” And if I had to choose between flying and a penis… (all laughing) I mean, it’s not an immediate decision. That’s all I gotta say. – That’s only because, presumably, you’ve used your penis. – But if I’m a bat… I have used it. If I’m a bat, I don’t have to make that choice. So between me just continuing to be Rhett or being a bat, I pick bat all day. – Even though, ironically, that’s the thing you’re most afraid of. – But not if I was one. – Doing this with your finger doesn’t… It has no power over me. – It casts a spell on you. – It has no power over me. – Hey, man, I’ve been Jedi-ing your ass for years. (both laughing) – Cloak yourself in mythicality with our newest Society-exclusive collectible item, a secret society cloak. Sign up for the Third Degree Monthly plan by July 31st at mythicalsociety.com to get it.