(crows) (growls) (drum beat) (wheel clicks) – Welcome to Good Mythical More, it’s time to step on lettuce. (claps) (board taps) – But first we’re going to give a $30 mythical.store or mythical.com gift card to – [Together] Nik. – [Rhett] Nik, N I K, thank you for repping your merch out there with hashtag merchicality. – [Link] Yeah! – If you put the merch on, the Mythical merch on, use hashtag merchicality, we will find you, potentially, and give you $30. Not everybody just, we pick ’em at random. I may have just made that seem like we give everybody money for wearing our merch, but that wouldn’t make a lotta sense. – That’s what I was thinking. I was thinking that’s what we do, based on what you just said. (wheel rolls) – I don’t. Whoa, that was nice. Okay. – So we were talking about, in a Good Mythical More, I think it was, or was it the main episode? – [Stevie] It was a More. – It was a More. – It was a More. – We were talking about things– People had, nasty things people had done at, like fast food restaurants. – To get fired. To get fired and some dude put his feet in the lettuce, in a Burger King. – Yeah. – And so we said it sounded like something we would do, you know, what type of lettuce am I stepping on? – And I think we said something like, “that would make a good episode,” a Good Mythical Morning. And then I think we quickly realized, well, maybe Good Mythical More. (Rhett laughs) Or maybe that was suggested, I can’t remember exactly what happened. But you know what, it’s happening right now. So we’re going to put some blindfolds on, we’re going to get barefoot, and we’re going to step into some lettuce. And we have eight different kinds of lettuce. Now– – What? – I– – Are there that many? – Let’s just see if we can name eight kinds of lettuce real quick. – [Together] Romaine. – Iceberg. – Bibb. Iceberg. – Oh, Bibb? – I said Bibb. – Baby Spinach lettuce. – Baby Spinach, Arugula. – I don’t– I think– I think that, well, that’s all I got, so. I think I’ll know more when my toesies get in there. – Hold on. I mean, we can think a little bit. – Shallots. – That’s like an onion. (crew laughs) – I said arugula. Just green. Just green lettuce. That’s one right? – Wilted lettuce. (crew laughs) Come on, what? – Fried lettuce. Again, we’re kind of pre-playing the game a little bit. That’s half the fun, is trying to remember when you step in it. – Half the fun is not knowing which lettuce, you’re stepping on, even if it was (crew laugh) very evident to you. – Where do you want– Here. You want this chair out? Here, take that. As you can see, I can’t. Are you, blindfolded? – Is this a good place for the chair? Okay. All right. – So I’m going to start back here on the couch. – I’m blindfolded. I don’t really understand why you’re starting on the couch. So I’m just gonna stand up and let– – Thought I was over here, but I was– – And let the lettuce come to me. – Okay. – Is the lettuce being placed? – [Stevie] Wow, that is some nice looking lettuce. – Small tray, right in front of you. – Where’s my tray? – [Chase] Right in front of you. – Okay, don’t step yet. I can feel the coldness coming off of the lettuce. – No, no, no, I want– – Okay. – I’m just, I’m just– I want it wherever you want it. – There you go. – Morgan, is it where you want it? – [Voice] That looks good. – [Link] Okay. All right. – Are you a folded? – Folded? – Yeah, hat’s my slang for blindfolded. (crew laughs) – I’m standing up. I’m about to place a foot, whenever somebody does a three, two, one. – [Stevie] Oh, three, two, one. (lettuce crunches) – [Link] Oh yeah. – That’s Romaine. (lettuce crunches) – I’m less interested in guessing and more– Ow! But you know what? The tray is not– Tray’s not great. Let’s not– The tray is smaller than my foot. I’m stepping on the tray. There’s a big knob in the middle. – And then the big– It’s big and leafy. It’s gotta be Romaine. – [Stevie] Incorrect. – I just think– Well, it doesn’t feel Iceberg. But I’mma guess Iceberg. – [Stevie] Incorrect. – Well, I was going to say green, – What is that? – Because the only thing I know when you have a big leaf, is this, like, Green Leaf lettuce, Romaine. – [Stevie] This is going to be a long game. (crew laughs) See, we should’ve been given all the types of lettuce that there are. – [Stevie] I have this lettuce– This is a staple of my fridge. And you can get it – Oh it’s cold! – [Stevie] in living lettuce form. – Oh, is it Bibb? – Living lettuce? – [Stevie] Closer. – What does that mean, Stevie? – [Stevie] That’s the, like, knob that you’re feeling, is the root. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – [Stevie] So it like– – This is what my wife makes lettuce wraps out of. – [Stevie] Yeah. – Oh. – [Stevie] I use it for, like, a protein-style burger situation. – So tie lettuce. – [Stevie] What? – Like, is it– It’s like a cup, leaf– It’s like a cup– – [Stevie] You said this– Oh wait, maybe you didn’t say this lettuce. – No, ’cause I’ve said all the lettuce snow, – I don’t know what type of lettuce that’s called. – And I know I’m not gonna say Arugula or Iceberg. – So– – [Stevie] It’s a lettuce that has another– It has a dairy-sounding name, but it doesn’t actually have that dairy in– – Cheese lettuce! – Milk lettuce! – [Stevie] Come on, you know– You’re so– – Butter lettuce! – [Stevie] Yes! (claps) Yes, Yeah. It’s Butter Lettuce. – Yes, Butter Lettuce! Yes. Now, if we have been given the word– The lettuce bank. – Butter lettuce. – Can we get– Let’s get a lettuce bank. Let us get a lettuce bank. – All right, I’ll keep my– – [Stevie] Okay, I’ll read some lettuce types to you. – You could give us more than we’re gonna get to, – [Stevie] No, I can’t. (laughs) You have eight rounds of this. (all laugh) – I don’t know that we need it. – Based on round one, we need it. – [Stevie] You have– – Okay, Chase you can take it now. – No tray. – [ Stevie] Iceberg, Boston– – No you can leave the tray. – [Stevie] Romaine– – Boston? – [Stevie] Green Leaf– – See? Told you there was a Green Leaf! – [Stevie] Red leaf– – Red Leaf. – [Stevie] Endive, and we also have spinach, even though technically it’s not a lettuce. – Endive? I kind of think I know what that feels like, on my feet. – Endive? – It’s kind of a bitter– Your feet will taste the bitterness. (tray whacks) – Oh, okay. You ready to– Ready to go in? – Yeah. – [Stevie] Three, two, one. (lettuce crunches) – [Link] Ah, this is Iceberg. – [Rhett] No, that’s Romaine. – Nope. Yep, too leafy. – Nope, it’s Green Leaf. (crew laughs) (lettuce crunches) – [Link] This must be Endive. (crew laughs) – Have we still not freaking got it yet? – [Stevie] No. This one I actually didn’t know– I didn’t know this one. So that gives you a hint. – [Link] ♪ Stepping on a lettuce. ♪ – Red leaf? – [Stevie] Think about the list that I gave you. There was, one that you were like, “What?” – I don’t remember the list! – Oh, Boston! – [Stevie] Yep. – Boston lettuce? – [Stevie] Yeah. – Can I look at it? – [Stevie] Yeah. – Boston, what have you been doing? – [Stevie] It’s technically the same as Butter Lettuce– – You didn’t even– – [Stevie] I guess, but marketed differently. – You didn’t even really step on it! – I’m feeling it. Boston lettuce could easily make a good lettuce wrap, look at that. – That– Yeah, I like the looks of that. – Look at that. Look at how pretty that is. (lettuce smacks) Look at that. Think of all the things you could wrap up in that. (crew laughs) – That’s nice. I mean that– If I was a rabbit, I would be just so (Rhett sniffs) tempted, right now. All right. Let’s do another one. – Stepping on lettuce. Is this everything you thought it would be, when you said it would be a good episode? (crew laughs) Because I’m having my doubts. (laughs loudly) – The, actually stepping on lettuce part is fun, but the guessing part is kind of– I could, lose that part. – Are we going to make lettuce wine out of this? – [Stevie] Lettuce wine? Yes. Let us wine. (laughs) – Think about how bad lettuce wine would be. It actually would probably be really good. (tray whacks) It’s probably great. “Lettuce wine is my favorite,” in the comments, someone says. – [Stevie] You ready to step? – Yeah. – [Stevie] Two, step. (lettuce crunches) – [Rhett] Well that certainly feels like Romaine. I keep saying it, but certainly feels like it. But she’s not responding. – There’s a– It’s got a thing at the end, not in the middle. – Oh, you know what? This is the Endive. – ‘Cause it’s divin’ on the end? (crew laughs) I’m just here to enjoy what I’m doing, honestly. I’m not really into losing anything, again. (crew laughs) – Well, I’m going to have to go with Green leaf. (crew laughs) (lettuce crunches) – [Stevie] No. – Gosh! I guess I’ll go to Red Leaf then. – [Stevie] Yeah. (Rhett laughs loudly) – I can’t remember what they are, but I’m enjoying it. – Oh, look at that. Look at that. – It’s red on the end, but it’s still mostly green. – Oh man, that’s– Man, that’s big leafy. I feel like I under-appreciate lettuce. – I wonder how long my feet are gonna smell like this. Wouldn’t you say that lettuce doesn’t have a smell, until you smell it? Like, “What does lettuce smell like?” “Nothin’.” It’s just like, you think celery doesn’t really have a taste until you realize that it has a taste. You know what I’m saying? – [Stevie] Celery has like a big taste. – I know it does, but– – Yeah. – It feels like it doesn’t have anything. But then like, when somebody puts celery in something, it’s all you can taste. – [Stevie] What’s your– What lettuce do you have at your house? What’s your like staple lettuce situation? – Spinach. – Well, you know, we get a– We get a spring mix. – [Stevie] Okay. – There’s lots of arugula. There’s lots of arugula. – I don’t like arugula. – It’s– My wife really likes it and it’s– – [Stevie] I love arugula. – You know, it’s, got a peppery taste to it. I think you got to mix it with something else. – All right, let’s bring in the next. (lettuce thumps) – So your favorite lettuce is not lettuce. – I don’t think I like lettuce. I like Iceberg Lettuce. But I know it doesn’t do much for you, so we don’t have that. (tray scrapes) – Okay. – [Stevie] Okay. Three, two, step. – [Rhett] Oh that’s Iceberg. – [Stevie] Oh wait, Chase is here, okay. – [Link] Oh yeah, is it– Oh yeah, that’s fine. (tray smacks) – [Rhett] Get it. – Oh yeah, now we got it. (Stevie laughs) Now we’re talking. – So we were right, Iceberg right? – [Stevie] Yeah, it’s Iceberg. – [Link] Now the fun is– Use your heel and actually crush it. – [Rhett] That’s what I’m trying to do. – [Link] That’s what’s fun. – [Rhett] Oh it went all the way to the bottom. – That’s what– This is what I had in mind, when I thought this was a good idea. – [Rhett] You know what? When you take your blindfold off, you can actually really, you can crush it in very specific ways. (lettuce crunching) Oh Gosh. – [Stevie] A nice wedge salad, you know? That Bleu cheese. – Wedge salad with bleu cheese, – [Stevie] Bacon. – bacon, and just a little– I like to throw a little diced tomatoes. – I mean, the crunch is so specific. it’s unmatched in the world of foliage. – But it’s completely human-made, right? Like, this lettuce never existed. – It’s worthless. – Anywhere. They were like, “Let’s do what we do.” “Let’s, humans, do what we do to things. “Let’s take something that has value “and let’s mass-produce it, “and make it a ball that Americans will like, “that has no value.” That’s what happened with Iceberg. (tray scraping) – It’s kind of fun to clean up, too. – Man, that’s a good– You could really– You could really– You can really get somebody with a piece of Iceberg. (tray scrapes) Think about that, if it hits you right in the face. – I would say throw it at me, except for that part. – Right, that’s the part you hope hits somebody. (lettuce smacks) – The stem. – Like, take that and just– – Bite it? – Give me an– Give me a slap on the back with it, but not– Like a jovial– Like a pat on the back. – Yeah, yeah, like you’ve done something good. – And then I’m going to do it to you, too. – Okay. Like you’ve done something good. – Like, and then, you know, like, go right in the middle of the back. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you just– What did you do that was good? – I took a nice poop. (all laugh) – [Voice] What? – I took one of those poops where you don’t have to wipe afterwards. (crew laughs) – Well, I wouldn’t congratulate you for that, man. And you shouldn’t tell me about it. – “Hey, Rhett I took one of those poops where I didn’t have to wipe!” – All right! (laughs) Good boy! – That actually hurt. – Oh really? – I think you hit me with the hard part. – No, I was holding the hard part. – All right, how did I– How did I– (stumbles over words) – What’s the question? (all laugh) – What did I do to deserve this? – What did you do to deserve this? – I– – Face the wall. – I went pee-pee? (all laugh) (Link laughs loudly) I went pee-pee. – Face the wall. – I went pee-pee. (link wheezes) (all laugh) I went pee-pee in the thing. – No, that’s bad. – No, no– – In the potty. – In the potty. – Did you go pee-pee in the potty? – Yeah, I went pee-pee in the potty. – Good job. (lettuce smacks) See, that was like– Can I go harder than that? – Yeah, yeah. (lettuce smacks) Oh yeah, more. (all laugh loudly) – What did you do? – More. I pee-pee’d? – Where? – In the potty. – That’s right. (lettuce smacks) – Oh yeah, I did! (crew laughs) Yeah. What’d you do? – I poopied in the potty. (all laugh) (lettuce smacks) – Good job. Wow, we’ve– We’ve basically congratulated ourselves into oblivion. (all laugh) – Okay. – Let’s keep steppin’. – Another, another one. (both laugh) – Of all the things you could want me to be proud of. (both laugh) – Oh, wow. (link laughs) (lettuce thuds) – [ Stevie] Okay, three– Oh, you’re already doing it. Link’s already doing it. – No, no we’re not. – [Stevie] Okay, do it. Do it, I can’t see your feet. – [Rhett] I don’t even know where the tray is now. (crew laughs) – [Link] Oh, this is an Endive. – [Rhett] That’s Romaine. – [Link] Endive. – [Stevie] Its Romaine. – [Link] Oh. (both laugh) (lettuce crunches) – Now this is a good lettuce. We have a lot of this at home. This is one of the things, ’cause it’s very versatile. Like you could put it on a burger, like, you pop it like that. – It looks good for you, you know? – You pop it like that and you put it on a burger, and you can also get kind of, a long lettuce wrap with it. – You can get– Let me give you a high five with this. – Do you want me to do it with mine too? – Yeah. – What’d you do? – You know what I did. (Rhett wheezes) (crew laughs) – I heard you poopied. (link laughs) – I heard you pee-pee’d. (both laugh) – [Together] Yeah, we did it! (lettuce smacks) – Oh! Gosh. – That was my finger, hitting your finger. – Ow! Yeah. – You hurt my finger. – Really bad. – All right, so we gotta do it like this. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – Look, let’s do it– Let’s do a slow motion. – Boom. – All right, here we go. And then a fast motion. – What’d you do? – Poopied. – I pee-pee’d. (lettuce smacks) – Yeah. A lot of it went in the trash can. – Whoa. – Now we need to get all this up, because– – Yeah, yeah don’t make too big of a mess. – It’s gonna stink. It’s really gonna stink. – Don’t make too big of a mess. (lettuce thuds) – If we don’t get it up right now, we won’t get it up. There’s a piece back here. – Okay, all right. – Look, you can sweep it with– you can sweep it. We can sweep the lettuce with the lettuce. Did we get it all? – Yeah, yeah. We got it all. (crew laughs) – Is there more lettuce? – [Stevie] Yeah. – How many have we done? – [Stevie] You have two more. – Oh, two? – Let’s do ’em at the same time. This is getting old for me. – [Stevie] Okay. – Okay, but that way we’ll know what they are. We just might not know which is what. I’m predicting, this is going to be Endive and Spinach. (lettuce whacks) (squeaks) (thumps) (crew laughs) (tray rattles) – Chase? – Yes? – What’d you do today? – I don’t wanna talk about it. (all laugh) – This is not something I wanna tell my parents about. (lettuce crinkles) – Did you pee-pee in the potty? (Rhett laughs) – I did go dookie. – Oh, you dookie’d huh? That sounds serious. (all laugh) – [Stevie] Okay. Three, two, one. – [Rhett] Spinach and Endive! – [Stevie] Correct. (crew laughs) – [Voice] Where’s the other one? – Are they both in the same tray? – [Stevie] Yeah. Yeah, look at the nice, like, display Chase made on the desk. – That’s an Endive on the right side. – Oh yeah. – See this thing– – It’s like you’re luring the bunnies. – Look at this thing. This looks like somethin’ there would be a little baby alien inside. – Did your foot touch that? I’m gonna use mine. Yeah, that’s like a bloom of some sort. – And just open it up, – It looks like a flower. – Open it up and get a– Just get a leaf, a clean leaf. – Smells like a perfume. (Rhett crunches lettuce) – Taste that. – [Stevie] I can’t do Endive. It’s really sad, I’ve tried, but oh, so bitter. – This actually is not bad. – It’s not bad. – Endive is like, for our fancy restaurant salad. Oh, yeah I got a really bitter one. Yup, yup. Yup. Yup. (theme plays) – Well, so much for that idea. – I mean, that was– That was great. (Stevie laughs) I think we learned a lot. – [Rhett Voiceover] Cloak yourself in Mythicality, with our newest society-exclusive item, a secret society cloak. Sign up for the third degree, quarterly or annual plan by September 30th at mythicalsociety.com to be eligible.