(cock crowing) (bang) – Welcome to the first Good Mythical Morning of season one eight. – What better way to start off the season than by checking our voicemail. – Yeah. – [VOICE] Not if the wind, it (mumbling). It would discover GMM and kill us all, because of Link. – Listen, I’m already in contact, in cahoots, with all the aliens, my friend. And let me tell you right now, I’m the only thing that’s keeping them distracted from coming after you. (sarcastic laugh) – Oh, that seemed like a threat. Threatening all kinds of people, season 18. – Yeah, well, I didn’t mean to start it on a negative vibe. I just feel a little defensive. You know what would make me feel better? – What? – Looking at – Cheetos? eBay listings of Cheetos and trying to decipher what they think their Cheetos look like that make them valuable enough to be sold on eBay. – Well, let’s look at one. That looks like… – Stevie, you have the answers? – [Stevie] Oh, boy do I! Little Cheeto-man. – I mean, that… – It looks like a quarter to me. – I mean, to me, something popped out immediately. – Oh, really? It’s an animal for me. – Yes. And, it’s an… Let’s see, I think they’re in Africa. – What? No. That’s not what I see. I see an aquatic animal. – Oh, well I see an anteater. You know how an anteater has a big head and like a long… – An anteater that’s been in an accident. I see a whale. – Oh, wait a minute, what! Oh! – Like a very… With it’s fin down? – The whale is the fin. The fin is bigger than it should be, but like the front part is shaped like a sperm whale. – [Stevie] Okay. – [VOICE] Those are the… Those are both very good guesses. You are correct that it’s an animal of some kind, but you’re both incorrectly. – Well, it’s not a polar bear – Is it a land animal? if that’s what they think. They think it’s a polar bear. It’s not a polar bear. – [Stevie] So you’re not guessing a polar bear then? – Nope. – It’s got a long… I refuse to think polar bear because it looks more like a whale than a polar. – I know what it is. It’s a fat necked headless giraffe. – [Stevie] Okay, well, I guess the answer is going to be refused to be guessed, so we can move on to the next one. – Is it a polar bear? – [Stevie] It’s a polar bear. – I know, but it looks more like a whale. – It does, does it? – [Stevie] It does look like… I mean, yeah, that’s good. – I see what you mean. But I can also say you’re an eater. But polar bear is not. That is a fail. – Things can look like anything. Have you ever seen things and things? – Sure. – That sounds like something we do on the show. Seeing, not putting things in things, just seeing things in things where we look at things and see what we see in them. – Well, that is what we’re doing. – Hey, we went full circle. – Hey, surprise!. – Right, let’s see another one. Okay. – So this is two things? – [Link] I think that’s the same Cheeto rolled over. – [Stevie] Yeah. It’s is a profile view and then a front view. – [Rhett] I mean, it looks like a person. – [Link] Ah, specific! Oh yeah, ’cause it’s definitely… – [Rhett] It’s got feet and it has… – [Link] Lumps in all the right places. – [Rhett] You know what it looks like? It looks like a Teletubby. – No, not… – The top, the pointing thing on the head, it looks like a Teletubby. It could also be a cat of some kind. – It’s a homo-sapien (laughs) with the head of a… I think it’s got a reptilian head. I think these are the people who are running the world via secret society, the lizard people. – What is that amazing white background? (laughs) That’s what I’m… Looking at all the footprints it made. – It’s in snow. It’s walking around in snow. – [Stevie] Okay, this is a very specific fictional character, but it’s a human character. – Are we talking comic strips? – Oh! ‘Cause Funky Winkerbean is definitely what I’m thinking about. – Dare Devil. – [Stevie] We’re talking from a series that I had to get Chase to tell me how to pronounce this name, but you would know it. – The last Cheetobender. – Batman. (laughs) – [Stevie] I thought it was Batman. No. – You said it’s animated? – [Stevie] No, it’s a fantasy… Fantasy, right? Yeah, it’s a fantasy series. – Tom Babadoo? – Oh, it’s The Witcher. – [Stevie] Of course, – I got nothing. it’s Tyrian Lannister – Oh, I don’t want to say anything about Peter Dinklage, except he’s an amazing actor. – He’s an amazing actor. – And he’s a great neighbor, as a child, when he was my neighbor. (laughs) – Different person. Before we see the next one, I want to remind you, check out our podcast, Ear Biscuits. You might think that it’s boring. (laughs) – All right, hey man, I got a good idea for our a promo. Check it out. Now, you might think it’s boring, I’m gonna be honest with you. – That’s nuts. That’s like the last thing I wanted to say. – You might think it’s boring. (chuckling) Advertising 101, put the thing that you don’t want people to think at the top of the ad. – I don’t think it’s boring. People who like it don’t think it’s boring. But what is a positive thing you think about it? What is it if it’s not boring? – If you think Good Mythical Morning has gotten to be something you don’t want it to be because we just don’t talk all the time… – [Stevie] Why are you saying these things? – Then listen to our podcast, we talk more there, for an hour. But you might think it’s boring. – Here’s what you can do. Here’s a daring way to do that. You could find a way… I know what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to address a certain subset of… – I just want them to listen to our podcast. – The audience is like, “Oh, when you guys used to talk all the time on Good Mythical Morning, I loved it, and now you eat things and you play games and stuff.” And so we’re like, “Yeah, but we talk all the time, both on Good Mythical Morning like we’re doing right now, but also on Good Mythical Ear Biscuits,” is the name of it actually, Ear Biscuits. And it’s a podcast and we talk about life. In fact, we have a new tagline we came up with pretty recently, you know, “The podcast where two lifelong friends talk about life – Talk about life for a long time.” – for a long time. You might think it’s boring. We almost added that last part. – Yeah. – But really, – Not that long of a time. We don’t think it’s boring. – [Stevie] I was actually going to stress how the intros just remain the same the entire time so people who like intros remaining the same – Yeah, yeah, yeah. would love Ear Biscuits. But, yeah, also new tagline. – We don’t change. – Yeah, we changed our intro on this show. – What we don’t do is, – we don’t change things. We keep them the exact same way, forever. So we don’t do things like change the intro or even, like after 18 seasons, like suddenly change the way the show starts. – [Stevie] I mean, I will say, – We don’t do – that kinda thing. – [Stevie] that like after 86 episodes, we just changed completely what the format of Ear Biscuits was entirely. But I mean, that was a long time ago. – Yes we did. That was a long time ago – That’s right. when we did that. – It’s a drastic change and, – But we don’t touch – I’m glad we made it. good mythical morning. It is exactly what it was when it started, and it will always be exactly the same thing. (murmurs) – Constantly evolving. – What? – [Stevie] Yeah. – [Stevie] No, everything is the same. – Hold on, they’re telling me that the intro was changed. I’m getting it. They’re saying the intro was changed. – [Stevie] Are you on a tiny phone? – Yeah, yeah, yeah. (chuckles) – His on a tiny phone to no one. – It’s just inside my ear. – We changed the intro? – Yeah, we changed the teaser too. – We’re not saying let’s talk about that anymore? – But it isn’t, listen… – All right, I’m out. That’s it, I’m out. – We talked for a long time about changing the teaser and I’ve been very excited about changing the teaser, I’m not going to be defensive ’cause I am excited. Just to help people get more of an idea of, “Oh, this is happening in this episode or this is a different format or…” – Okay, I took a walk and I expect, when I came back, that everything would be like it used to be, right? – The thing I anticipate people are gonna be a little, that we’re going to require adjustment, is that we don’t say let’s talk about that. I mean, we’ve done that every single episode, but this is what we wanted to do. And, we put let’s talk about in the intro. – Oh, it’s on banner! – It’s on a banner. – Yeah, it’s on a banner. – We thought about saying it, under that. – We actually tried. We tested that and we didn’t like it. – We didn’t like it. We didn’t like it. – So, hey, you know, variety’s the spice of life and spice is the variety of life. – Yeah, right. (laughs) – And you know how… – New intro two? You know how sometimes, like you got something, like a recipe, that, you know, your momma makes. – Yeah. And then one day all of a sudden you show… – My momma had five recipes she made. – One day you show up and you eat that recipe, and you’re like, “Momma, – You changed something. something’s different about this recipe.” And she’s like, “Well, I’m using Turkey instead of beef because if you use beef, you’re gonna die.” – We’re doing this for you. Basically, we’re doing this so you don’t die. – Yeah. – Okay? Let’s see another Cheeto. (laughs) Okay. – [Rhett] That is a horse. This one’s propped up. – [Rhett] That is a giant necked horse. Like rising up, like (neighs) – [Link] Yeah. I was going to say seahorse, but it does have four legs. – It looks like a seahorse – [Rhett] but it’s got four legs. It’s very seahorsey. It’s like a seahorse meets a real horse. – [Link] But, look at the face on that thing. It’s wicked looking. It’s got huge goggles. It’s got a face of a sea horse. – [Stevie] I’m looking for a statement. – Mr Egg. It is a horse. I need to have a full statement about what that horse is doing. – A dancing horse. – [Stevie] No, no. I need a guess to the statement that you’re never ever going to guess, but try anyway. – Back in Bronco, Billy horse. – It looks like a horse in the middle of a dance move where he’s like spanking it, like this. Like he’s got one spanking it. – Oh, he’s spanking it. Isn’t that what he’s doing? He’s like getting a spanking. – [Stevie] Okay, you guys are both very close, but actually it’s a Cheeto shaped like a horse asserting dominance and claiming freedom. – [Rhett] Okay. – [Link] Claiming freedom. Look at the muscles on that horse. – How much are they asking for – that ’cause I’m interested. – [Stevie] Let me see. – [Link] That is a beautiful horse. – [Stevie] Currently, the bid is at 47.99, so it is gettable. – Dollars? – 47.99! – Do you know what makes a horse shiny like that? – Sunlight. (laughs) – Yeah, that is technically the term. But the thing that you do to it to make it shiny, it’s not Vaseline. – [Stevie] Oh, it says, “Ride off into the sunset with your cheddar stallion.” (chuckles) – You shave it, really really short. I was looking at an Instagram video – Oh, is that why I can see and it was like a horse – the muscles so much? that looked like a normal horse. But then like, this person took a shearing thing – Yeah. and I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, can you do that?” Like, it went all the way down to like where you could like see the veins on the horse. – Stevie, has your sister told you about this? She was a horse girl. – [Stevie] Shearing a horse to the… What? – The technical term is making a horse shiny. – Shiny new horse. (chuckles) – Horse shiners. – [Stevie] I don’t recall the horse shines, no. No horse shines – Call her up and say, – “Hey, how do you – [Stevie] for them. make a horse shiny?” And if she doesn’t say, “Well, you shear it,” then she needs to stop working with horses. – Guys, I want a horse so bad. I’m overcome with the desire to own that horse. I just want to be on it. I want to ride… – Where are you gonna keep it? I mean, I rode the horse, you know, thanks to Stevie and you were there, but all that did was fan the flames of my horse passion. – You know what you didn’t say? You what didn’t point out, when we were looking at potential places to rent for our creative house, one of the places we went, the backyard had a horse stable, – Yeah, it did. and you didn’t say nary a word. – No, I was like, “What if we got a horse?” – No, you didn’t say that. – You weren’t listening to me. If I had known you felt like this about shiny horses, I would have had a shiny horse there ready to show you, of what it would feel like to own one. Ah, heck, I’d let you shine it. – That’s a beautiful horse. Look at that horse! – [Rhett] I think I don’t like the braided mane. I’ve never liked that on a horse. – [Link] It’s such a machine. – I’ve never liked the braided mane. If you’re not going to let your mane flow, what are you doing? – Well, sometimes you gotta pull it back. But that, I would not pay $50 for that Cheeto. Let’s see another one. – [Rhett] Oh, this is Gumby. – [Link] Oh! I mean, it hit me immediately. – No, this is a love making scene. There are two beings here. – Really? Well, one time we went into an abandoned house, and a man, I’m assuming a man, (chuckles) had painted… – You better watch yourself. He had paint – Watch yourself now! a picture of a woman, and it was almost like, “Is he trying to teach me Anatomy,” is what I thought. – Yeah. – [Stevie] Teach you a what? – Anatomy. – Anatomy. – [Stevie] Oh! – ‘Cause that’s what I learnt. – You don’t know about anatomies? – [Stevie] Wait, what house? What are you talking about? – We used to go into abandoned homes, as children. – We weren’t the only ones. – I highly recommend it. Painters would go in there. – And there was a person, – Muralist. probably a man, who painted a beautiful picture of a woman. (laughs) – It’s very accurate. – It was very explicit. Very, anatomically correct, – Yeah. and she was posing as this Cheeto. (laughs) And it was the whole living room, – This is a man walking… – the whole wall. – I returned quite often. – It spanned… – [Stevie] She was posing as this Cheeto. I also really like his phrase. And he was posing, – I think this is a man as this Cheeto – walking with his hands – in his pockets, and his hat backwards, and beer gut. – Now, if you look closely – at that face, it looks like somebody walking that way, with their hand in their pocket and the face going like this. Look. – To the left? But look, look into that face. – Oh! And it’s like a little boy. Like a little boy blue. – Oh my gosh! – [Stevie] Okay, this is supposed to be – [Link] Like the person is walking left. – [Stevie] a mythical creature – Walking left and looking. of some kind. A mythical man, that walks. – A centaur? – Well, they don’t – [Stevie] Mm-hm. – [Stevie] He walks, – have two legs. – [Stevie] through the woods. – Maybe he’s facing you. But you maybe never see him, but, you can claim to have seen him. – Bigfoot. – [Stevie] Yeah. Oh he’s in a big foot pose. – Yeah, that’s not doing it for me. Big leg, maybe, but not big foot. – You know what? The funny thing is, every single time you’ve shown me one of these, the thing I’ve thought to ask, is like, are you bringing it out so we could eat it? Like I really thought, like after we’ve guessed, like I expect Chase to like come and set it down and I’m like, “Oh, now I’m gonna eat it,” but no one’s coming and setting it down. I mean, with the discontinued snack episodes, people get their panties in a wad because we pay money for something that doesn’t exist anymore, and then we eat it – Yeah. and destroy it. We can do that with this stuff too. It’s like, “Here’s a toast with mayo on it, let’s it eat it. – Let’s put butter on it – and eat it. Let’s do that. Let’s piss those people off. – Sasquatch, armless Sasquatch. – [Stevie] How about another? – Oh, yeah. – [Link] Okay, this is this logo of some sort. This is a bullhorn. – [Rhett] It’s a nose that was removed from someone’s face. – [Link] I think that’s a bullhorn facing to the left, isn’t it? ‘Cause you know how the handle… – [Stevie] This is just absolutely unaccepted. – I think it might be a Sphinx. – [Link] This is an arrowhead. – [Stevie] Okay, okay. – Oh, I see what you mean. – [Stevie] Well, you’re close. – [Stevie] It’s an animated Disney character. But at least you saw like a sitting body. – Yeah, facing this way. Like its, – Jabba the Hutt. legs and then its head. What Disney character looks like that? Pluto? – [Stevie] This are arguably one of the best animated films of all time, in my opinion. And it is very sad at certain points, and you might cry every time you watch it, if you’re me. – Which Disney movie do lesbians love the most? (laughs) (humming) – Yeah. I’m really searching for one. Pocahontas? – I think this is a problem. Disney, I’m sure you’re working on it. I don’t know what you think is the best Disney movie of all time, Stevie. I’m interested in that. – Oh! – Oh, yeah, I got it. I know it, but you’re gonna figure it out now. There’s a fire. – Oh, Bambi. – Bambi. Did she say there was a fire? – No, she said it was sad. – Oh! – [Stevie] No, but that’s a good guess. – It’s another one with a fire? Or he said fire? – [Stevie] It’s like, there’s just the stampede and then he’s like, “Where did you go?” – Oh, that’s Simba? – [Stevie] Yes. – That could be Simba. (sobbing) – [Stevie] It’s so sad. – Is this after he’s been trampled? (sobbing) – [Stevie] Oh God! (laughs) He doesn’t get trampled. – Did you watch the new one, Stevie? – [Stevie] No. – Well, you should. Everybody crapped on it, but I thought it was pretty good. I like Beyonce. – I didn’t see it. – I mean, it wasn’t the original. – [Ste] Chase isn’t having it. – [Stevie] He disagrees with your opinion. – There was no Simba in that. What else are they saying on eBay about this? It’s a hoax. (laughs) This is a stretch. – [Stevie] Original hot Cheeto shaped like a Baby Simba, rare collectible, one of a kind. Whoa! $699.99. – Wow, that’s a lot. – $700 – It’s almost $700. (laughs) – [Stevie] And that is all they are saying about it. Oh, it does have reviews, which is confusing. – People pass it around. – He bought and returned it. – [Stevie] Amazing! It say’s, amazing. It looks good, and it’s very big. It works well and tasted good. (chuckles) – People were reviewing it. It’s like an Airbnb. (laughs) Do we have another? – [Stevie] Oh yeah, we do. – All right, hit it. Okay. ♪ Smaller than a quarter ♪ ♪ Stands on its own ♪ ♪ Got a little gnome hat ♪ – [Rhett] That’s what I see. I see like, from the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs like… – Yeah, big feet, two arms. – He’s going like this. It’s a gnome, it’s a garden gnome. – [Stevie] Yeah, this one’s… I want to get to the next one so, this one’s a penguin. – No, it’s not working. – Okay, I’m eager to see what this next one looks like. So I have the answered, but I haven’t seen it. – Chicken leg. – [Stevie] The heck! – I said that. I was like, you pull out a Cheeto and it’s like a Chicken leg. – [Stevie] No, it’s not a chicken leg, but it does look like a chicken leg. But no, this is a… – No, it’s a very gross looking face. You’ve got the eye, you’ve got the nose, – Oh, it’s a shrunken head and nose. – and you got this frowning – [Rhett] mouth and you’ve got the skinny neck. – Gosh, that’s scary. You can make a chicken legs scary, man. – [Stevie] Okay, yeah, it’s supposed to be someone’s face. There’s not a world in which you would guess what this is. – Is it an actor? – [Stevie] No. – Is it a character? – Clooney. – [Stevie] If by actor you mean somebody who was in space jam… – Michael Jordan? – [Stevie] Yeah. It’s supposed to be crying Michael Jordan. (laughs) – [Link] Oh my God! That ain’t cry Michael Jordan. – Hold on, but I can tell. They’re asking 250 for that, aren’t they? – [Stevie] They’re asking almost 500 and it turns out… Well, it says two views per hour, but I’m sure it’s just the Mythical crew. (laughs) – Two views per hour! – Chase is going back – [Stevie] The description, to look at it. – [Stevie] says, – So not a lot of y’all will get it. – [Stevie] “Here’s your chance to own a piece of history.” (laughs) – Here’s your chance. You’ve been looking for your chance, so I’m telling you, this is it. Wow! This a good start, and it has decimated any hope I had in humanity. I don’t know what it is about looking at Cheetos like that, but I’m… – We’ll never do it again. Don’t ever do this again. – [Stevie] That’s okay, little Cheeto-man. (laughs) – I love a little Cheeto, like a little twig. – [VOICE] Make your voice heard in Vote Like a Beast. Visit votelikeabeast.com for all your voting needs.