(rooster and lion calling) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Let’s talk about screams, and call my wife. – Call my wife. You seem like you might be dreading that. – I think I need to do it now versus later. – Who You Talkin’ About? This is when we read a comment that you made, we guess whether or not it’s about Rhett or Link. Noj Paul says, “Blank is a pro at eating. When he takes bites, he looks like he’s trained all his life.” It could go either way, ’cause you take- – My throat just made a noise. It was like “Ar,” did you hear it? “Ar.” – You probably heard it more in your own volleyball. – It came out of here. I can feel it, “Ar.” – This could go either way, because I feel like, I eat very quickly, and I eat very large amounts, which could be seen as an athlete, but you chew so much, and you make so much noise when you chew, that that could be seen as athletic. – By one commenter, maybe. I’m gonna go with you on this. – Okay. Let’s see. – My mouth is bigger, though. Rhett’s pretty… – I have been training all my life. Because I eat every day. – [Both] A lot. – Okay, Stevie, so how’s this gonna work? You’re gonna present- – [Stevie] I’m gonna give you a scenario in which you might scream, and I’m gonna need you to display, via a scream, what that scream would sound like. – Okay, but before we do that, lemme call Christy back, ’cause I’d rather have this conversation now, so I can monetize it, versus having it at home, when it’s just me and her, and like… I don’t know how this is going to go. I’m like “Hey, your favorite candy bar of all time.” – Yeah, but you’re gonna bring her seven ZERO bars when you show up at the door. “Baby, I got you seven, one for every day of the week. For a week.” – Make a little ramp there for the mike. (phone ringing) – [Christy] Hey. – Hey. We’re still doing the show, so you’re on speaker. – [Christy] Okay. What’s the update? – Yeah, ’cause you were in, we talked to you in round one, I really value your input, and it made a big difference. As you know, ultimately, we had to still say that it sucked worse than the YooHoo candy bar. – [Christy] Mkay. – After that, it went up against the Charleston Chew. Have you had that? – [Christy] Yeah, see that’s the problem. Has anybody heard of any of the ones that you’re putting it up against? – Well, no, but we’re tasting them. – All it has to do is be worse. – [Christy] Oh, okay. – So lemme tell you, the Charleston Chew was worse than a Chunky. And a Milky Way Midnight. But we determined that the Charleston Chew was not as bad as the ZERO bar, which put it in the finals. (Christy laughs) – [Christy] Oh boy, okay. – And then on the other side, so in the grand finale of the tournament, it came down to ZERO bar versus PayDay. You ever had a PayDay? – [Christy] Yeah, I’ve had a PayDay. – What do you think about PayDay? – [Christy] I don’t think they’re that bad. – They’re not that bad. It’s peanuts and caramel and salt. – [Christy] Yeah, there’s a salty. – It’s like a log you get at a fair. They’re not that bad when you taste them. – They’re not that bad, and when you say “That bad,” you mean as bad as a ZERO bar. – Because, baby I’m sorry, but, after a few seconds of taking your first bite of a ZERO bar, it’s like toxic plastic has melted over your tongue. – [Christy] You don’t like white chocolate, though. – No, but I do. I do. There’s something different about this. – The Lindt classic white chocolate was amazing. And we were eating that- – [Christy] So why are you calling me? (Rhett and crew laugh) – To apologize, preemptively. – Yeah, I wanna apologize. – He’s saying sorry that he did this, but he’s bringing you seven ZERO bars. – [Stevie] But you didn’t even plainly state to Christy what that means, what the final three day meaning of this, you didn’t even state it. – It’s the worst candy bar ever. – [Christy] So the ZERO bar won. – Yeah, it is crowned the worst candy bar of all time. – [Christy] I mean, it’s just your opinion, I’m not that (Rhett’s laugh drowns out speech) – That’s what they say in the comments. – You’re tasting nostalgia, and I understand that. Every time you bite into a ZERO bar, it’s like you’re back working at the pool, saving people’s lives. – [Christy] Oh man, we sold those things, they were so popular, yeah, 50 cents. – You know why? Because people thought they would cool you down in the pool. And that was the market. – I’m gonna suck on this piece of ice ’cause it’s gonna make me cool. – And the package is cool. – [Christy] You know that’s why they named it ZERO. – I didn’t know that until today, and it didn’t help. – Yeah, they make it seem like it’s got a cooling effect, which there is none. But the logo is really cool. – It’s a good package. – [Christy] I’ll tell you what. It sold, back in the day, at the pool, we sold just as many ZERO bars as we did ice cream Snicker bars. And those were 75 cents. – Were they frozen? – [Christy] Yes, they were frozen. – The ZERO bars were frozen? – [Christy] No, no no no, the Snickers were frozen. We sold just as many ZERO bars, ’cause we only carried about five different bars. – And you saved Jerry Stackhouse’s life. You saved him from drowning. – [Christy] No I did not! His cousin! Don’t even say that, it was his cousin, it wasn’t him. – No, but you know what, this many years later, just say you saved Jerry Stackhouse’s life. That’s what we’ll say on the internet. – Was he there? – [Christy] Well I don’t indulge, like some people I know. – Look, it’s Jerry Stackhouse going off the rope swing! – [Christy] Anyway, I mean I’m fine with it losing. Just bring me the Snickers, no, ZERO, sorry. – See, even you secretly don’t want ’em. We got a lot coming. – [Stevie] I just like that Christy’s trying to end the conversation with you, but you’re calling from the show. – “Okay, all right, I’ll talk to you later.” That’s what you’re saying. Clearly you have better things to do, but yeah, I got a big surprise for you when I get home tonight. – [Christy] Okay. (Rhett and crew laugh) – Love you. – [Christy] Love you. – Bye. All right, give us a few screams, I derailed us. – [Stevie] Do you just, I don’t know, I can’t remember the last time I screamed out loud, in terror of- – I’m not gonna go all out, because, it’d damage my cords. – I feel like I scream quite often. – [Stevie] If you get scared, you scream? I don’t know, I don’t… – Yeah, during that VR game, I did. – [Stevie] Well, but I mean like, real life scenarios. – I don’t think in a real life scenario, I’ve screamed. You know, there’s different things that people do. Some people, if you’re about to be, we’ve talked about this. Everyone has their curse word that they say when something bad’s about to happen, like when you’re about to get into a wreck, but you can see it coming and you can still make a decision, some people scream, and some people just have a curse word they say over and over again. – Yeah. – You have a funny story. – When Kevin Winds was driving, he dropped off his younger brother at the middle school, and I was in the, ’cause I’d ride with him to school, and then we’d go to the high school. And he pulled out in front of a car, and it almost t-boned me. And the only thing I could say was “Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!” That’s what I said. – Yeah, see, some people say that. – All right, give us a scream. – [Stevie] What about, Baby Secret comes alive, ties you to a yoga ball, and rolls you down a bunch of streets in San Francisco. Oh, I’m supposed to be, by the way, choosing which of your screams is the better scream, I guess. So you have to go one at a time. – And this is in motion, like this is going down that crazy steep street. – I got this. (screams) – I don’t think I can outdo that. – [Stevie] That was pretty good. – Yeah, let’s give that one to Link. – [Stevie] Okay. You’re stuck in an elevator with an old man wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt, and a whole wallet full of pictures of his grandkids. (screams haltingly) – Damn damn damn damn damn. (both laugh) – That’s pretty good. I mean I just don’t know how I would scream at all to that, I would just be like “Look over there!” and then I’d run. – To the other side of the elevator? – Oh, yeah, it’s an elevator. – The premise is you’re trapped with him. I’ll run into the corner and just stare. – [Stevie] Okay, so I guess this one goes to Rhett. – Grooming collection, notice, it’s changing, it’s expanding. If you want some more pomade, lip balm, beard oil, any of that stuff, go to Mythical.com and stock up on the current products, because you never know when they’re gonna be gone forever. – Right? – Or be changed forever, and you’re gonna wish you had the old school version. Go to Mythical.com to get yours now, grooming collection. That’ll make you scream. “Our grooming collection is gone!” (both scream) – [Stevie] After taking a pee, you zip some skin in your pants zipper. (screams) – I’m gonna try to live through, not live through this, but I’m gonna really try to be as realistic as I would do if this happened to me. – I think there’s gonna be anger in it. – Yeah, ’cause I’m mad at myself for doing it, ’cause you know you could’ve prevented it. So it’s like ohhh, no! I think that’s exactly what I would do. – I think at first it would be like, you would try to stave it off, but then you’d realize, “You know what, I’m hurting so bad I’ve gotta let it out.” So it’d be like oh, gah! – The delay is good, I like the delay. – [Stevie] Those were both really good. (screams) This is weird, this is weird, this is just getting weird, can we not do this? (screams) – And then you make the decision, then you’re like “I gotta unzip it,” and you’re like (both scream) but then you’re like (both sigh). – [Stevie] Can we… I gotta… – You’re the one who started this, Stevie. – [Stevie] Okay, here we go. Zero points for that round. You said “Thanks, you too,” when your McDonald’s drive through worker told you to enjoy. – “Enjoy.” “Thanks, you too.” (screams) (crew laughs) I mean I’ve done that at a drive through before. I’ve done enough stupid things, I know what I would sound like. (screams) – Can we just roleplay, can you be the drive through? – All right, here’s your sack. Enjoy. – You want me to zip my sack in my zipper? I’m sorry. Say it again? – What did she say? – You say, “Enjoy it.” – Here’s your food, enjoy it. – You, too. (screams) – No, mine was better, mine was better, right? – [Stevie] A point for each of you for that round, I really enjoyed it a lot better than the round before. – We’re trying so hard, and yet we’re not really getting points. Okay, next one. – [Stevie] Your divorced dad is marrying someone half his age, and they want you to be the flower girl. – Of all the marriages my dad has had, they were all in the right age range. So far. No judgment in that, he could’ve gotten a young hottie. But what was the second part about? – You have to be the flower girl. – Oh, that’s just stupid. – I think it’s more like (laughs). – I’d be like “I’m sorry, what?” Is that a scream, does that count as a scream? – [Stevie] That does not, this goes to Rhett. – Yeah, you just do not scream for that. – [Stevie] You’re taking a long and, oh, come on, guys, I’m just reading these for the first time. You’re taking a long and satisfying dump, when suddenly, your bathroom door busts open, and it’s some dude with a chainsaw. – Oh, a chainsaw, ’cause usually when somebody comes in on me, I’m just like… I just look at ’em. ‘Cause they feel a lot more stupid than I do. But if they got a chainsaw, I’m getting up. – I mean if it’s a long and satisfying one, you’re like, ’cause that doesn’t happen every time. And if the stars are aligned and you’re like (sighs) and somebody comes in you’re like. (screams) It’s that, it’s percussive. – Percussive? (screams) – Okay. – And there’s probably a defensive move. – Have you wiped yet? – No. – So you just finished, and you’re thinking about wiping, but you’re taking it in. – You’re thinking about how long and satisfying it was. – And you might be thinking, “Well how long was it?” – Yeah, you might be- – Sometimes you gotta inspect it. – You’re looking down at it. – Good gracious, I gotta stop, take a picture of it. (screams) – Man, because he’s in a loincloth, it kinda sells it. You know? It’s like. I look like a dumbass from a 50s sci-fi. – You look like you’re in a swim class. – Yeah, I look like I’m in a swim class. How’s the hair look under here? – Oh, perfect! Wow, it’s like newscaster hair. It’s like that makes newscaster hair. – This is a newscaster maker! – How does that work? Will it do it to mine? – Maybe. – Lemme see if it’ll do it to mine! (both laugh) I look like somebody in Monty Python. – I mean if you’re- – Now listen, when I take this off, first of all, how have you been able to hear this whole time? – I know, that’s what I was saying. – I’m gonna take this off and it’s gonna be newscaster. – Give it back. – Oh, didn’t work. Didn’t work. – [Stevie] You want another scenario? – One more, yeah, and we’re gonna do this scream in unison. – [Stevie] The guac is extra. – I think it should be the guac is not extra. I don’t mean to- – [Stevie] The guac is not extra. (screams delightedly) – Oh, you didn’t do a countdown. That was good. ‘Cause the guac’s always extra, it’s like huh? (screams repeatedly) – Yeah, that’s good. – [Stevie] You look like a pelican. (screams repeatedly) – That’s a good costume, man. Let’s go trick or treating anyway. Screw it! – Hey, kid, you want a ZERO bar? – [Stevie] Okay, guys, this just, this is the last one. You bend down to give your grandma a kiss goodbye at her open casket funeral, and she opens her eyes. (gasps) (screams) – This is not a moment to be scared. – She’s back. You’re scared for a moment. – This is like. Grandma? (laughs) Oh, she’s back! You have to turn to the crowd and say that. – The crowd. And then kiss her again. (upbeat music) Oh man, all in a day’s work. – [Stevie] You’re both winners. – [Rhett] Look and feel your Mythical best with our grooming collection, available at Mythical.com.