(rooster crowing) (lion growling) – Welcome to Good Mythical More, let’s hang out some more because we can talk about funny pie chart memes! – But first, we’re gonna tell a 10 Word Story. – I’ll start this time. – Okay. – If. – People. – Grind. – Nuts. – You. – Should. – Quickly. – Grab. – Their. (they chuckle) – Scrotum. – Oh! (laughs) Their scrotum? – Yeah. Right. – Their collective scrotum. – Yeah, right. It’s proverbial. – Okay. If people grind nuts, you should quickly grab their scrotum. Hot tip, y’all! – No, this is what I’m saying. We’re at the mill, right? We’re at the mill. Me and you working at the mill, we’ve been there for years. Best buddies working at the mill. – Yep, another day at the mill. – You get a little bit too close to the grinder, your nuts get a little bit too close to the grinder. – Oh, if people are grinding their own nuts? – And the thing is, is you’re about to grind your nuts And the only way I can save you is by grabbing your scrotum and lifting it out of the way. – You’d do that for me? – I would do that for you. That is the only circumstance in which I would touch your scrotum. – Well, listen. – At the mill. (laughs) – I will say, lift with your legs not your back, brother. (they laugh) Okay. Oh gosh. – See how there was a lot more to that story than just… – It was like an OSHA situation. It’s like a safety tip. – Right, yeah. – Alright, show us an example of what it is we’re doing. – [Stevie] Yeah, so, I mean, we’re looking at pie charts today. You like a good pie chart? – I love ’em! – [Stevie] It’s a good pie chart. So the pie charts that we’re gonna be looking at though, are a little bit more comedic than the pie charts that you’re used to, perhaps in a PowerPoint presentation, et cetera. – I see this one, every pie chart on Reddit, small part sensible variable, small part second sensible variable, and a third sensible variable, a big part of the pie, punchline. – Yeah, I follow the logic here. – Okay. – [Stevie] Yeah, so I’m gonna show you a pie chart meme. Is that appropriate? Yeah. – Yes. – I’m making it appropriate. – Yes! – [Stevie] And some of the labels are gonna be blank. So you’re gonna have to guess what this funny pie chart is about. – We’ve got to make it funny? – [Stevie] Yeah. You wanna see one? – Yeah. – Uh-huh. – [Stevie] Okay. Here’s the first one. (they laugh) – I think it’s just sky- – Well, to be clear. – Pyramid, pyramid. – Sky, pyramid, pyramid, shadow. – Pyramid, shadow. – [Stevie] You guys knew this one! – [Both] Sunny side of pyramid, shady side of pyramid. – [Stevie] Okay, you’re good at this, you get this. – That’s a good logo, good gracious. That could be a Swatch watch! Oh! – I think it is a Swatch watch. – I’d love for that to be my Swatch watch. I still have my Swatch watches that I got when I was a kid. Paid $34 for that when I was in like third grade, that was a lot of money. – How do you remember that? – I don’t know, and I don’t usually remember numbers. It’s because that one’s taking up 90% of my pie. – [Stevie] How about another one? – How about it? – [Link] People who buy Hot Wheels. – [Both] Kids, nostalgic adults. – Confused car enthusiasts. – Hmm. That’s a good one. People who buy Hot Wheels… – Kevin McCallister. Kids left at home. – It’s pretty long. I think it could be… – Didn’t he have a thing where they slipped on Hot Wheels? – [VOICE] I think it was Micro Machines. – Oh, those are Micro Machines. Okay. – I don’t think I can improve upon confused car enthusiasts. – Ben thinks they were Micro Machines. – [Stevie] Let’s see what it actually is. – Crime bosses planning heists, ah, yeah. See, now you just, you’re here, and then if you’re in the lookout vehicle and then there’s a vehicle that’s looking out for the lookout vehicle. – But, boss, what if you don’t come outside after the seven minute mark? – Hey, boss, how are we all gonna fit in these little cars? Another one. – Let’s see another one. – We’re like, almost good at this. Me when I can’t hear someone. – Small. – Tell them I can’t hear them. – Another small one. – Move closer. Move closer so I can hear. Repeatedly shout, “what?” – [Rhett] Just decide to ignore it. – No, no. – Nod head. Nod head. Nod head and smile. – Nod head and just go with it. – Nod head and smile. – [Stevie] You’re super close. – [Both] Laugh and hope it wasn’t a question. – (laughs) It was probably a joke. Boy. – That’s good, I like that one. That’s also pretty. I’d make that a Swatch watch. (people laughing) – Pie chart. – Listen, does Swatch, what do you think, does Swatch do pie chart faces? – There’s something to that. There’s an idea there, but, you haven’t, you haven’t said it. – Well, I think what it is is it’s like, party time, it’s like you map out your day in the pie chart, which is like work, relax, but you gotta have a 24 hour clock instead of just a 12 hour clock. – [Stevie] I think it would also look pretty depressing. – Yeah. – What’s the biggest thing? Work. Okay. – [Stevie] How about another? – [Link] Reasons why I hate pie charts. – This… (Link sighs) – [Stevie] There’s something about this one that makes it different than the other ones that you’ve seen. That’s your hint. – Reasons why I hate pie charts. There’s no actual pie. – This isn’t a pie chart. It’s a rock. – No actual pie involved is my answer. – [Stevie] No. – Because I’m colorblind. – Oh! Oh. – That’s not really how colorblindness works, I don’t think. – You don’t know that! – Because I’m not colorblind. – Yeah, that may be a pie chart right there that consists of things that you can’t see ’cause you’re colorblind to that particular thing. I mean, I see definitely a lot of stuff. – Well, there’s only, the key reveals that there’s only one thing. – Oh. Unless it’s the color that you can’t see. – The whole, no. – Unless the key is the color that you can’t see. The other three options under there that I’m reading. – That doesn’t work. Okay. – [Stevie] Next? – Next. – [Link] Thoughts while someone else is talking. – “Wow, what a fascinating story” and, “what am I gonna say next?” – That’s it. “What am I gonna say next?” – [Stevie] No. – [Both] I wish a dog was here. – Okay, so a dog lover pie chart. – I mean, that’s always something that you could wish. But really everyone’s just thinking about what they’re gonna say next. – [Stevie] Okay. I have information on this. This was a Mythical Crew pie chart. Some of these were Reddit and some of these are Mythical Crew and we’ve encountered our first Mythical Crew pie chart. I don’t have- – Who made this? – [Stevie] I do not have crew-specific credit, I think it’s to protect- – Just a dog lover. – Don’t put that on Reddit. – Protect the people. – It’s not gonna get a lot of traction. – You know, when I’m on my morning walk, I’ll see people walking and they have a dog, like, I met this woman. – You don’t walk Jade on your morning walk? – Nope. – Why? – ‘Cause she sleeps with Lincoln and, I don’t wanna be slowed down by a dog. She’s slow. And she’s sleeping with Lincoln, that would wake Lincoln up. I like to be alone. And then it’s like, you get to, sometimes I run, sometimes I walk. I don’t know, I wanna be on my own. – Okay, you don’t wanna be tethered. – Don’t wanna be tethered. But I encounter people who are tethered to dogs and… I’ll look at the person and wave and then sometimes I like to look at their dogs. – You wave at their dog? – No, but I’ll look at their dog for a long time. – And comment? – No, but the whole time I’m looking at the dog- – Pretty cool dog! – I’m thinking, do they think I’m just looking at them? Like, looking at their legs or something? Is it obvious from a distance that I’m not looking at them, but I’m looking at their dog? It’s like some woman thinks I’m, you know? It’s the break of dawn I’m out there. – I think when they have a dog, they assume that you’re looking at their dog. – Okay, good, because- – Is he looking at my legs or my dog? – My whole walk- – I need a pie chart. What percentage of the time is that guy looking at my legs and what percentage of the time is he looking at my dog? – ‘Cause I’ve thought about saying, “I’m not staring at your legs, I’m looking at your dog.” – And ironically, sometimes I call my feet dogs. – [Stevie] The alternate answer for this one, I’ve just been told is, “Should I start a podcast?” – Okay, that’s better. – Yeah. – That’s what I said. – That’s better. – Let’s see another one. – This is a good one. – Alone with a pizza thoughts. – Do I eat… All of it? – Alone with a pizza? – Do I share this? – There’s nobody to share it with. You’re alone. That doesn’t make sense. – Well, if I’m alone with a pizza, the question is do I eat the whole thing or do I save some for later? But it might have something to do with the fact that it’s half and half. Like pepperoni and no pepperoni. Onions, no onions, that kind of thing. Like, do you go halvsies on a pizza? – You’re all over this. You’re all over this one. – With the half? – [Stevie] With everything that you’ve said. – Wow, it all works, huh? What about what I’ve said? Am I all over it? – [Stevie] I missed it. – Yeah, I haven’t said anything. I don’t know. I got nothing. – [Stevie] Let’s see it. – Eat the entire pizza, yes. – Eat the entire pizza. – [Both] Fold the entire pizza in half and eat it like a taco. – Okay, did we write this one too? – Yeah. – Okay. Okay. That’s fine, that’s fine. – That’s pretty respectable. – We can do it. – No, it’s respectable. I mean, don’t post it on Reddit, but it was respectable. You know, before we look at our next pie chart, I wanna remind you about our podcast. It’s called Ear Biscuits and in the episode that comes out today, the audio form, available wherever you get your podcasts, we talk about what generation we’re from. You know what? I’m 43. He’s 42. That means that we’re technically not Generation X or Millennials, well, technically Generation X, but we’re actually in a micro-generation called Xennials. But all our employees, or most of them are millennials. And then our kids are Generation Z and it’s enough to make a person crazy! We talk all about that on the latest Ear Biscuit. You’ll enjoy it, maybe. – Let’s see another chart! Pie chart, gross things humans love to do but will never admit, Google yourself, kiss your dog on the mouth or the vast majority. – Say “Tony Danza” when you’re singing “Tiny Dancer”. – No. – [Stevie] Gross! – Google yourself, kiss your dog on the mouth, move aside your friend’s scrotum when he gets too close to the grinder. – Collect your toenail clippings, and… Grind them up into a smoothie! No, this has gotta be #Relatable. – Is this Reddit or this Mythical? – [Stevie] This is Mythical. – Okay, well we have no shot. – So, anything could work. – Because ours don’t make any sense. – Google yourself, kiss your dog on the mouth. – This is gross things one particular Mythical Crew member loves to do, but will never admit. – Kiss your dog on the mouth. Do that. – A lot of dog-related pie humor here. – Yeah. – I mean, that’s a big block, too, so if we’re talking the same font then this is rendered un-guessable. – Fold it in half and eat it like a taco. – You know what? Let’s not guess this one. Let’s just render judgment over our writers and then imply that we think we can do better, even though we couldn’t. – Right. Yep. Let’s see the answer. – Take a picture- – No, no, no, no! Close your eyes! – Okay, put it up. But I didn’t read it. I read “take a picture.” What? – [Stevie] I’ve just gotten information that it was this one, this specifically this one, when we reveal it. – Yes? The one that starts with “take a picture”? – Davon wrote this one. Davon wrote this specific one, is the information I’ve gotten. – Davon is not a writer on this show. – [Stevie] Well, according to Emily, Davon wrote this one. – Okay. I gotta recalibrate my answer here. – Alright, take a picture… – Now we can- – It’s probably like take a picture of a turd or something like that. I bet it’s turd too. I mean, I didn’t read turd. – Did you read it? You read it. – [Link] I read, take a picture of your turd and plan to send it to someone, but you never actually sent it to anyone and you finally delete it six months later. – You delete the turd or you delete the picture of the turd? – Davon, are you- – Do you keep the turd for six months? – Are you available? Yeah, conveniently Davon is not on the Google Chat. – He’s taking a picture of his turds. – Are you telling me, that Davon- – What’s that? I had to run to the bathroom. (Rhett laughs) – Is this something you’ve done before? – [VOICE] I plead the fifth. – You’ve done this. You took a picture of your turd, and you planned to send it to someone? But then- – No, I’ve never done this. – But then you were like, you know what? This is a picture of a turd, I’m not gonna send it to anyone. But I’m gonna keep it for six months. – [VOICE] Have you ever produced a turd that you were like, this is impressive? Like, this is, you know? – Yeah, I’ve thought about taking pictures of them. But what I have found is that the pictures that already exist of turds on the internet are more impressive than anything that I can do, so I might as well just send one of those. – Yeah, but that’s disingenuous. – Yeah, but who knows? Who’s gonna know? Who can tell? – Davon, did you delete it or do you still have it? You still have it. – I don’t have it anymore. – It’s hypothetical, but he doesn’t have it anymore. Got him! – It never goes away though. It’s always somewhere. Join the 3rd Degree quarterly or annual plan of the Mythical Society by December 31st to get the Rhett and Link bobbleheads. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.