(rooster crowing) (beast roaring) – Oh, I know where it’s gonna land. Boop! On Gifticality! – Welcome to “Good Mythical More”. We are gonna taste some dessertified MREs and see which ones we like, hit it please. – But first we are going to donate $1,000 to Homes For Our Troops to aid in their mission to build and donate specially-adapted custom homes nationwide for severely injured, post-9/11 veterans. These homes restore some of the freedom and independence our veterans sacrificed while defending our country and enable them to focus on their family and recovery. Please join us in giving at hfotusa.org, – H-F-O-T-U-S-A? – [Both] Hfotusa.org. – Thank you for being your mythical best. All right, so let’s start with some desserts. Over here, we have. – This is a French filled, filled French toast. – Filled, not field. – No, it’s field, it’s for the field. You can only eat this in the field. – Filled, meaning there’s something inside of it. – Hmm. What’s it filled with? What do you think it’s filled with? – I’m feeling good about it. Oh yes, this is. – Oh, it’s filled. – It’s a Pop-Tart type situation. – Do not eat that. – Do not eat that. – Oh, man, it feels like it has a consistency of a slightly damp Fig Newton. You know what I’m saying? Like the way that the outside of a Fig Newton feels sort of like. – Yes. – I love it! – I think what you’re saying is it feels like a Fig Newton because they’re all slightly damp. – Yes, yes. Oh, look at the… Look at that. Spongy. This is a good thing. – This is strudel. Okay. This is like, we got to this on eBay for, I don’t know, $3.33 cent, no refrigeration required. Three-year shelf life if stored at 80 degrees Fahrenheit, longer if kept in cooler conditions. – Mm, keep it cool. – Freezing is not recommended. – [Stevie] Does it taste like French toast? Like why do they call it French toast? Why wouldn’t they call it, like. – It does not taste like French toast. It tastes like. – Filled pastry. – A soft limp Pop-Tart. – [Stevie] Yeah, why wouldn’t they, I don’t get it. – There’s apple inside. – I like the taste though. I mean, it’s not as good as French toast. – I would call it a damp apple pie. That’s what I would call it. – Yeah, it has no crispiness to it, but it’s not in a bad way. Like it has sorta like, if you, if somebody brought this to your house and they’re like, “Oh, these are really popular in my home country.” You’d be like, “Oh yeah. How’d you get them so damp?” You know, like, you would think it was like a technique. You’re like, “Oh, well you just make them in a factory and put them in a bag. That’s how we make them so damp.” – So I’m gonna put that one, oh no! – Into the ether. Okay, so it’s. – I might go back to that. – It’s number one right now. – Cinnamon bun? – If you eat the do not eat thing, I mean really, what happens? – Let’s not do it in this episode so we can do it in its own episode. – Cinnamon bun. – Shelf stable. Now, is it, okay, so this is exactly the same as the other thing. Stevie, I think we’re really starting to answer your question. – [Stevie] That’s what I’m saying, like, why, yeah. – This is how they do it. – Do not eat that! – This is, this is how they do it. They do it and wet Fig Newtons out of coverings. – It’s, this is just a cinnamon pocket. – I love their pocket technology. – Tastes good. – It’s just the same thing, more cinnamon-y. – Yeah, there’s no apple. Now I would recommend eating these two together. – Apple cinnamon. – Apple cinnamon. – Okay. – That’s the ticket. – Hmm. That is a good idea. So you and your buddy, you and your best buddy, as long as you got your best buddy with you, you got all kinds of things in there and you go halfsies, one cinnamon bun and one French toast. They look exactly the same. Put them on top. And have yourself a party. – I got some Taco Bell hot sauce. You want some of that? – You can throw it at it, but I don’t want it on it. – I still have some pepper. You want some of that? I have a napkin. – Maybe downsize your pepper. That’s the one thing I would suggest. You have like– – No man should be asked to downsize his pepper. – You have like pizza restaurant pepper. Never downsize your pepper unless you want to. This is trans fat free marble pound cake. – Oh, you know that pound cake’s gonna be moist. Everything in these packets. – Now, I can tell you that this is not, this is the different form factor. It’s bulbous. – This isn’t shelf stable. – Oh my goodness. Look at that. They took a. They took a whole, a whole freaking thing. – [Rhett] That’s a whole pound cake. – Quick reminder. If you want to get the Rhett and Link bobbleheads, you need to sign up for the Mythical Society 3rd Degree quarterly or annual plan by December 31st to qualify if you’re not already a 3rd Degree member back in October. That’s how you’ll need to qualify. 3rd Degree quarterly annual by December 31st, mythicalsociety.com. Get your bobblehead. – Okay. The flavor is very nice. Unfortunately, they missed the opportunity for the moistness. It tastes almost like you’re biting into like space ice cream. But it’s not crunchy. – [Stevie] Did you say it’s only pound cake, or is it like banana? – It’s marble. So chocolate. – Okay. – Chocolate and vanilla. – [Stevie] I was like, there is something really wrong. – The flavor is very nice. – But it’s too dry. – Coming off of the moistness of the pockets. – I think, I think this thing has sucked too much. It’s a different type of a moisture packet. I think it might be sucking up too much of the moisture. – You might have to dip this into one of your vest buddy’s pockets. The one, the moist pocket. Don’t you have like a moist pocket that’s for dipping dry things in? – I call it my pocket, but it’s really my fly. – (laughing) Oh gosh. Oh my gosh. Can I dip, can I dip into that moist pocket of yours? Sure. – (laughing) Oh my gosh. I just, I can’t eat anymore. I mean, that’s it. I can’t eat anything else, but what do we have? – Moist Pocket McLaughlin, that’s what. – I call it my pocket, but it’s really my fly. Why would you say such a thing? – All right, so. – Like, what would possess you to say that? – A demon. (Rhett laughing) Now, you know, the French, they like to have dessert, and then they’d like to have another dessert that’s cheese. And that’s what we’re gonna do now. A cheese variety pack. Or should I say cheese spread variety pack. – We’re gonna eat cheese spread straight out of packs? – “Knead package before opening.” Do you knead it? Or do you just want it? – I feel like you might need to put some of this cheese in your moist pocket. – So we have cheese spread with jalapenos, which we’ve already had on the, the beef and go, whatever that was called. – Maybe we can moisten up the pound cake with some cheese. – And there’s some more jalapeno. – I’m gonna put a little bit of the cheese, I’m gonna just do straight cheese spread. – No, you know what the cheese would be good on? – Oh, like a danish. Put it on the apple. – The apple. – The apple pie, because that’s the thing that people do anyway. – Hey, we’re teaching you some hacks now. Now we’re inventing this. Like, we’re making it up as we go. – They probably already knew about this. A little cheese. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. – Here’s some information. Let’s see, there’s a Reddit thread where they’re talking about this jalapeno cheese spread. “It’s delicious. It adds flavor to tasteless bread. We usually have bartering sessions with our MRE contents,” like Ben said, “Cheese and peanut butter are hot sellers.” – I’m gonna put the cheese on the really dry poundcake because somebody’s gotta do it. This is the super, not actually that moist jalapeno cheese directly on a pound cake. – That’s not what I was– – Has this been done before? – Did you already do it on the apple? – Yeah, I’m moving too fast for you. – I’m gonna do it on this. I’m gonna do what you already did. – This pound cake is so dry, that. – [Voice] How dry is it? – (laughing) Yeah. It overpowered that moist cheese. – Wait, I wasn’t listening to you. Did you like this? – Yeah, it was excellent. – I don’t, I don’t like it. – You don’t, you don’t like fake cheese. – The cheese is the only part I liked you. – You don’t like nacho cheese. The cheese messed up the tart. – Well, put some jalapeno cheese. In fact, I got some right here, you don’t even have to open yours, on this dry-ass pound cake. – I don’t want, I don’t want to. – You need to try it, because– – I don’t want to, does that work? If you’re in the military, somebody tells you what to do. I don’t want to! – Just try it. Just try a little bit of it. And just give me, just remind yourself how dry that pound cake is. It’s like the cheese isn’t even there. – Oh my gosh. – I think it got dryer. Some of the last remaining bits of moisture went into the cheese. They were like, “Oh gosh, let me get out of here.” – Chocolate and jalapeno cheese does not go together. Ooh, that’s that’s given me a burning in my bosom and I’m not even Mormon. – That’s a deep cut right there. Hmm. – Yeah, it’s like a burning right in here. – Well. Oh yeah. You know, Ben just said I should dip my pound cake in my water. That’s the ticket. I’m gonna let it sit for awhile. (laughing) – I mean, all the water should be gone instantly. – Are you sure this wasn’t just like a sponge, like to clean goggles? – Add a little chocolate flavor. – It got so much heavier. – It didn’t, it didn’t change. I thought it would fall, holding it in there that long, I thought it would like not be there. – That’s gonna be so moist. – It’s gonna taste good, isn’t it. (both laughing) – That’s not how to make something moist, man. Well, it’s moist. – I mean, that’s, if you didn’t get moist from the cooking process, you can’t just put water on it. That does not do a good thing. Hm. Want some? – Sure. Thank you for your service. – [Rhett] Join the 3rd Degree quarterly or annual plan of the Mythical Society by December 31st to get the Rhett and Link bobbleheads. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.