(rooster crows) (animal roars) (dramatic music) – Hey, welcome to Good Mythical Mor’. We’re about to take in some ridiculous commercials for snacks. – Yeah. – Join us. – But first, don’t freak out, but puppets have gained sentience. – Sentience. – Sometimes I say sentience. Sometimes I say sentience, but don’t freak out because I think either one of them is technically okay to say. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out about grammar of any, of all things, because puppets have gained it. – But also don’t freak out about the fact that all those puppets that you have, particularly, have sentience. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – And all the things you’ve been doing with your hand, in the puppet, they haven’t been happy about, so they’re coming for you. I mean to say that you’ve been shoving your hand- – Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. – But don’t freak out. – What is the part of the puppet that you put your hand in? That’s not the butt hole. – [Stevie] It depends on the puppet, duh. – It depends on the puppet. What do, is there a term for it? – [Stevie] I’m sure. – There should be a term for it just so we don’t have to- – Do you want me to Google- – Yeah. – [Stevie] Puppet hole? – Puppet hole. – Yeah, what’s the hole that you put your hand in a puppet called? – Buttet hole, pup, buppet. It’s a what? I ain’t gonna repeat that, then. – All right, so we’re gonna watch some vintage ads for some snacks. The ads have been discontinued, but many of these snacks have not. So should the ad be brought back? I think is what we’re deciding today. – And it’s not hard to bring back ads. – Let’s see one. – [Stevie] Okay, oh- (bright music) (Rhett laughs) – Okay, there it is. – Okay, all right, all right. Y’all need to sync up a little bit. (laughs) – What do you wanna do, Stevie? You wanna play it? – [Stevie] I’m gonna tell you what the commercial is for and when it’s from. (laughing) – Somebody else didn’t want that. – [Stevie] I don’t even know how. I don’t, yeah, Twinkies. – I feel bad, I mean, I feel bad about Wade Boggs. – You feel bad about saying that Wade Boggs is dead? – What’s the item? Yeah. – [Stevie] What’s the what? – What’s the item? – [Stevie] Oh, the item. Yes, the item for which the commercial is for, is the Hostess Fruit Pies and it’s from 1985. I guess this is when this product actually came out. This was the first commercial. – Fruit Pies. (bright music) – Is coming right back. – Oh, “Robotech.” – Oh, that was the end of another commercial. – Come and get ’em! – No, Robotech is a show. – Oh. – Fruit Pie the Magician here at the Franklin School. What do kids like best about Hostess Fruit Pies? – I like the crust best, it holds the insides in. – I like fruit, and that middle’s got a lot of fruit in there. – I like cherry best, and apple, and- – [Fruit Pie] And that says (Rhett laughs) it all, Hostess Fruit Pies- – What! – [Fruit Pie] Twinkies, cakes, and cupcakes. – They cut- – Fresh snacks with a snack in the middle. – Hold on, those, kids are not that cute anymore. – Nope, they’re not. – I mean- – They’re too self-aware even at that age. But they cut that one kid off in the edit. He was like, “I like this one and this and-” “That’s enough, child.” – He screwed it up, but the thing is- – You have to go do your lessons. – Those kids, yeah, you’re totally right about the self-aware thing. It’s like, these days you get kids that are that old and they’re like, you know, super good actors, and you can tell that they know it. – They’re jaded. – Those kids were just like, literally in a playground, they were like, talk about these fruit pies. You know, you can tell it was just the things that they said. – [Stevie] Or were they really good actors back then? You don’t know. – I don’t believe that. – But it’s the tagline snacks, fruit snacks with snacks in the middle? I’m pretty sure, was that not the ending tag? Snacks- – Scroll it back. – [Stevie] With fruit snacks- – Scrub it with the sound up. – In the middle. – I hope that’s what it is. – So who is this guy? He said- – He said he was the magician. – [Link] He said he was at a Franklin School. What is that? – [Stevie] Oh, like in like Los Feliz? – I’m here at the Franklin School. – Probably, the snacks with- – The kids can’t see me because I’m animated. – A snack in the middle. – What is he, a big Twinkie? Is he a snack cake? – He looks like a peanut. – What is he, what did he say he was? Let’s hear the beginning again. I’m here at the Franklin School for gifted children. – [Stevie] I don’t think he says, “And I am a baked snack.” – Come and get ’em. Fruit Pie the Magician here at the Franklin School. – Fruit Pie the Magician- – Okay, okay, okay- – That’s what I told you, he’s a magician. – Fruit Pie the Magician- – He is a fruit pie. – Here at the Franklin School but how are we supposed to know, I know what fruit pie magician is- – News flash. – Of course, but I don’t know what a Franklin School is. – Oh, you don’t, your kids are not in a Franklin School? – Oh. – It’s too late now. – Is that a thing? – All my kids are in it. – What, oh, is that where child actors go? – [Stevie] I really think it is that school that I’m referring to, The Franklin. There is an elementary school called the Franklin School in Los Feliz. – Fruit Pie the Magician- at the Franklin School. – Yeah, they want it to seem authentic ’cause they literally just went to the Franklin School and this magician- – In Hollywood. – Just took a bunch of fruit pies. But first of all, look how small they are now. – Oh my god. – That’s what I wanna talk about. – They’ve gotten so small. – I think that these are just a mini version. – It doesn’t say mini anywhere. – Do you remember? – Snack size. – Do you remember this type of fruit snacks. – Snack size. – That you would get at like, the grocery store? – Oh yeah. – I mean, the gas station. – They still have ’em, and they’re like that big. And I like the ones- – Oh my God, this is the perfect size. – With pudding, my favorite ones have pudding in them. No things but of course, I never went to the Franklin School. Would you call him Mister Pie? Would you call him Fruit? Like if you knew him well, you could call him Fruit? – Oh my, this is- – You call him Fruit Pie? – So good, those kids were right. – Fruit Pie the Magician? – I like the crust. – What do I call him if I’m a friend of this guy? I just don’t know if I can just call him Fruit. – I like the fruit too! – Hey Fruit, come over here, man. – I like the apple. I’d probably like the cherry, I’d probably like the the other flavors that were available but this was all I, they cut me off. – You want a mixed drink, Fruit? – I can’t believe you didn’t even take a bite of that. What are you? Your kids- – I only eat- – Your kids don’t go to the Franklin School. – I only eat expired things today, Rhett. – You’re a neanderthal. – Did not like that snack ad, brought up too many questions. If you didn’t like that ad, you’ll love our podcast, it’s called “Ear Biscuits.” – Okay. What? Oh. (Stevie laughs) – I’m promoting our- Can you just get out of the way? I’m promoting our podcast. (laughs) Gain way, I’m promoting our podcast! – This week on “Ear Biscuits,” I talk about the Franklin School and- – [Stevie] There’s actually a biscuit that walks around in the shape of an ear, and he’s like, “Hello, kids!” – I’m Ear Biscuit the Magician, here at the Franklin School. – That’s what “Ear Biscuits” needs, a mascot. – Chase. – But he has to be a magician. – Of course. – [Stevie] Okay, this one is a Kool-Aid commercial from the late 1950s. – Did I make it clear, though? That you could listen to our podcast? – Yeah, yeah. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – It’s wherever podcasts are listened to. And then the video version comes out on the “Ear Biscuits” YouTube channel. You can watch us talk. – Right. – As you were saying- – You wanna see a Kool-Aid commercial? – You can give your youngsters a lot of pleasure with Kool-Aid. You know it’s pure and good, it has the Parents magazine seal. And it’s so thrifty, a five cent package makes two full quarts. Just add Kool-Aid to water with ice, add some sugar, and stir. – [Both] For the best drink you ever made. – That woman could sell me anything. – Now, that woman is like, a classic sitcom mom. – She’s like Mrs. Beaver. – Yeah, is that like a- – What was her name? – Mrs. Cleaver. – Missus, was it Beaver? Cleaver? – Not Mrs. Beaver. – Yeah, Beaver Cleaver. – Beaver, yeah, Mrs. Cleaver. – Mrs. Cleaver. – Is that Mrs. Cleaver? – [Stevie] Hm, I highly doubt it. – Mrs. Cleaver had a beaver. – I can’t remember. – [Stevie] Look at all their hairlines. – Look at the hairline and you- – What she say about pleasure at the beginning? – She said you can pleasure your children with Kool-Aid. – Let me see, hear that. – You can give your youngsters a lot of pleasure with Kool-Aid. – [Link] Pause it. – You could give your youngins what? – You can give your- – Youngsters. – Youngsters a lot of pleasure with Kool-Aid. – Oh, I think I thought she said that you can give your youngins over to pleasure with Kool-Aid. – You can give your youngsters a lot of pleasure with Kool-Aid. – Well, I believe that. – I think that’s the “Desperate Housewives” set. – Could be, could be. – I think they’ve been reusing that in the Universal lot for years. – But she’s not desperate. – Remember when we snuck on there at one time? Oh, we have some. – Yeah, that’s that big- – Let’s give ourselves some kid pleasure. – That’s that big thing of red juice over there. – I used to watch “Leave it to Beaver.” This is just Kool-Aid. We’re just gonna drink some Kool-Aid. – Yeah, but oh look, but let’s drink it like- – Kids who need pleasure. – We’ve never had it before. Like, “What is this?” You just, it’s powder? You just put powder? – Gee, mom, this water’s red. – The thing that- – Oh, that’s got red number five in it, that’s gonna make me crazy. – Boy, that is a lot better than I thought it would be. – When was the last time you had Kool-Aid? – You know what, I may have never had Kool-Aid. Like, the amount of times I’ve had Kool-Aid in my entire life, when I was a kid, I didn’t like Kool-Aid, I’ll put it to you that way. I don’t know why. – What, how? – You know, because they would advertise to you, and then the little kid would wink at you all creepy. Go to that, go to the winking girl. Look at her. (Crew laughing) – She’s like, oh, you know what’s in this Kool-Aid. – I know we’re gonna talk – about that winking girl. – You know what’s in this Kool-Aid. – [Stevie] What is the relationship between, these two girls are supposed to be- – [Link] They’re conjoined. – [Stevie] Sisters? (laughs) – [Link] Neither one of them has an inside arm, they’re conjoined. – Look at those bangs. Do you see how short those, those are how short my bangs were that one time people thought I wasn’t from here. – Yeah, she’s Dutch. – Well, I’ll tell you right now. She is, nothing sneaks up on her. There’s so many places I went as a child where there were just containers full of Kool-Aid. How did you avoid it? – I would choose the alternative. – There wasn’t most of the time. There wasn’t an alternative except just like sucking on your thumb or something. – Why do you think I’m obsessed with hydration as an adult? Because as a child, I shunned the Kool-Aid. Let’s see another one. – [Stevie] Okay, this is for Popsicle Micro Pops. – Okay. – Which don’t exist anymore. – Popsicle Mirco Pops. – And it’s from the early 2000s. – Okay. (boy slurping) – Whoa, Pops! – [Pops] What the- – [VOICE] Micro Pops for micro licks! (Pops snickering) – What a run! – What a runt. – [Pops] Touchdown. – Popsicle Zone, ho-ho! – Man. – Nothing made sense in that. – That was when the world was starting to just go straight to hell. – I mean, pick any point- – After the millennium, man, that was when we just lost all decorum, you know. Started turning our parents into little football players. – What the, what, why is he all of a sudden playing football? – Well, when you make, I do understand that part. That’s the most logical part. If I made my dad really tiny- – What- – I’d put him om a foosball machine. – Okay, so first of all, he’s a dad, which makes him a pop. That’s where they got that from. – Mhm. – So they put a pop in the commercial because it’s a dad. – Get it. – And then they shrunk him because- – Micro. – They’re micro. – Micro Pops. – And then it’s called Popsicle Zone, so is that where football comes in? And then he says, “What a run,” and he says, “What a runt.” – Yeah, right. – So we’ve got a pun. – Lots of play on words, we don’t have these. Oh, we do have one- – No, we don’t. – We don’t? – No, we don’t. – That’s the next thing. – This is Bubble Yum, this is the next thing. If you’re bored- – Well don’t bring it out. – This is what we’re doing next. – [Stevie] Stop, no. – Hold on. – No! – Just hold on, hold on. – Stop, stop that. – Hold on, we’re getting to this. If you can just hang with us- – Link, put it down. – We’re gonna get to Bubble Yum. – Shh, no. – Did you see what it looked like, though? It looked like Dippin’ Dots. – It looked great! – I mean, why didn’t- – Jack, show it to us again. – Why didn’t y’all get that? That’s the only one I wanted. – Now- – Where can I get them, that, hold on- – That dog is huge. – Does that young man have ear gauges? Go back to the when he’s looking down at his dad over the top of the football field. – No, he’s just got pronounced ear lobes. – [Rhett] Look how big that dog is. That dog’s head is three times the size of that young man’s head. – [Link] The dog got big in order to make Pops seem small. – Dog’s not even there, dog is stock imagery. – So the product itself, best I can tell, is the ice cream of the future. Why did this not work? Micro Pops. – Man I want that so bad right now. – It looks like a bottle of acetaminophen. I mean it’s- – Hold on, what kind of acetaminophen, you getting the Neapolitan flavored? – Oh yeah, I like variety. – I don’t think, I think some, I think your kids have gotten into your pills again. – Some Tylenol- – Because is it should all be the same color. If you open up a thing of- – No, some Tylenol- – Pills and it’s different colors- – Is blue and white. – In the same pill. – In the same pill. – That’s a bunch of different colors. – Well, if you squint your eyes. I’m just saying it’s ice cream drugs. That’s why it’s not on the shelves anymore. – Right, okay. – And that poor, old man is still very small. – It was worth it, though. – It prolonged his life. – I think SAG just paid him for us having it on the show. He’s gonna get a check in the mail. That little, he’s gonna get a little check in the mail. – What about Bubble Yum. – What’s next? Oh yes, it is Bubble Yum. – Oh, I’ma open this. – [Stevie] From a 1988, with a very familiar face, is the tease I have. – This, dudes, is a hunky chunk of easy chewing Bubble Yum bubblegum. And this is Reggie, a land-roving turtle from the islands of Galapagos. (bubble pops) Both are big. (bubble pops) (shell thuds) But only one- – Knock on ’em. – Is soft. Big, soft, chunk Bubble Yum keeps it poppin’. – This is a chunk of super soft Bubble Yum bubble gum. – [Link] Leonardo frigging DiCaprio. – This is a loud thumping, tune pumping boombox. (bubble pops) Both are known for blasting. (speakers boom) – What? – But only the Yum is the fun that never blows out. Big mouth busting Bubble Yum keeps it poppin’. – How was he so cool as a child? I don’t understand how he was already cool. – Yeah, I mean. – So the first guy is not somebody that I would know now. Is it just Leo is the familiar face? – [Stevie] I don’t have followup information, but from my own experience, yes, I do believe that’s the case. – ‘Cause I mean- – Let’s talk about- – The first guy, he seemed like he was on something as well. – I recognize him from something. – He was knocking on turtles, I mean- – Yeah, let’s talk about the knocking on tortoise. That just don’t, I don’t think you can get away with that now. – You get kicked. (Crew laughs) I can tell you from personal experience you get kicked out of the petting zoo if you do that. – You’ve knocked on the tortoise? Hello? Anybody in there? His head’s out. – I didn’t do it as a joke, like knocking. I did it like “Man, that’s hard.” They were like “Outta here, sir.” – Man, that is hard. – Harder than I thought it was going to be. – You know you can go to Joshua Tree and you might, a tortoise might just walk on by you. – You seen in a desert tortoise out there? – They are endangered, they’re threatened. And this is why, ’cause they’re in gum commercials. Listen, they said we brought this turtle from the Galapagos Islands. You can’t say that. We brought this turtle from the Galapagos and I’m knocking on it for a gum ad. – Did he really say that? – Yes, play it. – This, dudes, is a hunky chunk of easy chewing Bubble Yum bubblegum. And this is Reggie, a land-roving turtle from the islands of Galapagos. (bubble pops) Both are big- – A land-roving turtle from the island of Galapagos. – Yeah, you don’t know. Maybe Reggie got into this commercial on his own. Like you’re assuming that they went to the Galapagos islands and brought him to be a famous tortoise. We don’t know that that’s the case. – Seems that’s what he just said. – Have you ever seen a tortoise turn itself into a boat? Because I have. If a tortoise gets on its back and get in the water, it will float and it can migrate. It can migrate- – Straight to a Burbank studio. – To the mainland. No, I think it made it probably to Mexico. And then very slowly, they live like 500 years. You don’t know what Reggie’s been through. – Well he’s putting up with a lot of knocking from kids in commercials. – He’s still around, I guarantee you that. – The Leonardo DiCaprio part of this, that was cool. – This is a loud thumping, tune pumping boombox. (bubble pops) Both are known for blasting. – Look at that. (bubble pops) (speakers boom) – But only the Yum is the fun that never blows out. – His hair got messed up. – Big mouth busting Bubble Yum. – Here’s the thing, you know, a lot of times you look back at somebody who’s cool when they were a kid and it’s embarrassing. You look back at him when he’s a kid, and you’re like, he was already cool. – He could be in a Tarantino movie then. – [Stevie] He just looked like a mini him. Like nothing, he got bigger and older, but everything else stayed the same. – I bet you he’s rolling over in his grave with that Galapagos turtle in his ad because he’s an environmentalist. – [Stevie] Well, he’s alive. – So Leo’s also dead. – He’s alive still. – Even Wade Boggs is rolling. – He’s buried next to Wade Boggs. – Rolling over in their graves. I’m just trying to make Wade feel better by assuming everyone is dead. I mean, face it, you’ll be watching this video- – And one day he will be. – And one day, Wade Boggs, Leonardo DiCaprio- – And us. – We’ll be dead. – Right. – But these videos will live on. That’s what we’re doing, guys. – Leaving a legacy. – We’re creating things that like, my grandkids, my great grandchildren, my great great grandchildren will watch me and this is what I’ve done with my life. – They probably won’t see this particular part, though. How many episodes- – What are the chances? – Of this show are your grandkids gonna watch? – Zero. – I think they’re gonna watch a portion of four episodes. I think that’s how much they’re gonna know about what we’re doing. – Yeah. – Just so you know, they might watch this because people might like clip it out and be like, “Oh, here’s where they talk to their grandkids.” – Grandkids, when they’re older, like when they become, when you get great grandkids, I think that’s when the grandkids might watch it and be like, “You know what, I’m having a midlife crisis. I’m gonna spend my days watching my great grandfather eat expired food on the internet.” – Neither of us will live to see our great grandkids because kids, everybody waits to have children now. It didn’t, it ain’t like it was when we came up. – I’m assuming I’m dead. – Oh, okay. – [Stevie] Did you say, “When we came out?” – Came up. – [Stevie] Oh. – It’s like, all of us- – [Stevie] I thought you meant like you came out of your mom. – Most everybody in this room, most people probably knew one great grandparent at some point, right? That ain’t the case anymore, man. Everybody waits ’til their 40s to have kids. They’re depriving the next generation of great grandparents. – I knew my- – It’s sad. – Great grandparents. I knew a lot of my great grandparents, but they were so old and I was so young that it was scary. Like just their sheer oldness scared the crap out of me. It was just like, “Oh my God, it’s still moving.” – I kinda liked it. – I mean. It was, I mean- – It’s still moving. – Because I was, you know, when you’re that young, it’s like one of your first memories. It’s like, (loud knocking) still in there? – You want me to knock on it or touch it? – Let’s watch another one. – [Stevie] Okay, this is a commercial for Eggo waffles from 1995. – The entire, close- – What? – [All] Leggo my- – Where’d it go? (tape squeals) – [VOICE] Wait a minute, let’s see that again. The Eggo comes up, looking irresistible as ever, when- – Oh yeah! – Oh, there she is! – Great grandma, yes! – Granny gets the gold with style, even has time to savor the sweet taste of victory. (gentle music) (Granny whistling) Delicious Eggo waffles- – It’s still moving. – She’s still moving. – Wow, you know what? Prove me wrong. – Yeah, hey, listen. You could’ve gotten to know your great grandparents and instead you chose to be scared of them. That’s sad. – I didn’t say I didn’t get to know them. – My great grandma- – I didn’t say I didn’t get over it. – Every time I walked in there, every time I went into her house, she was smoking a cigarette and drinking whiskey at the same time. (Crew laughs) And she would just sit down like this and she had no teeth. I loved her so much. She was the funniest woman, Mama Johnson. You missed that, man. – Mama Johnson. – She was drinking whiskey and smoking a cigarette. And she lived to be 95. – I mean, so a fire-breathing toothless woman wasn’t scary to you as a young child? – No I loved her, man! And she would just tell you that she’d give you stuff. Give me all kinds of, and I did, and me and my brother found a calendar with naked ladies in it in her garage. – She’s into that. – I think her husband was, her late husband. – Okay. – So she introduced me to porn. I love that woman. – [Stevie] Okay, how about one more? This is the last one we have. Coca-Cola from 1961, starring actress Connie Clausen who began her career as an acrobat in an elephant act in the Ringling Brothers Circus. – Wingling Blothers. – Ice cold Coca-Cola. There’s no waistline worry with Coke, you know. Actually, this individual sized bottle has no more calories than half a grapefruit. – [Link] What? – Mm, another thing, the cold, crisp taste of Coke is so satisfying, it keeps me from eating something else that might really add those pounds. Lively, lifty Coca-Cola provides a welcome bit of quick energy between meals, makes for a pleasant pause in a busy day. Oh, and remember, Coke is low in calories, too. Say now, don’t you get any thinner. – What the, hold on. – [Stevie] That’s just a blatant lie. – Like the lilt, there’s something in that woman’s voice, like if you had just met somebody back in the day. – I like it. – Is that how they would have talked? Or they just talked that way on commercials? – No, there’s a name for that accent, and yes, that’s how all actors and actresses had to, what is it called, Zack? Transatlantic? – Transatlantic? – Yeah. – Lilt? – It’s a little mesmerizing, I will say. – You wanna- – Guess how many calories are in a grapefruit. – A lot. – In half a grapefruit is what she said, though. – [Stevie] Half a grapefruit- – 40. – Is 52 calories. – ‘Cause she had an eight ouncer, right? – This is 140 calories, isn’t it? – Mama Johnson had eight ounce Cokes- – 150 calories. – All the time. – But she had a smaller bottle. So we’re still, I mean, we’re still talking about- – Is this a fresh Coke? – [Stevie] Maybe the grapefruits were bigger back then. – It was just like, there’s nothing expired about this, right? – [Stevie] No. – Oh, it’s good until 2021. – Listen okay can I point out- – Let’s have a Coke together. – She did all that in one take, y’all. I mean, let’s not overlook that. She did this entire ad one take. – And I guarantee you she didn’t do a second take. – I mean, one take- – The confidence that she has. – One take Tammy. – And the way that she, like she sits down and she was like, “Don’t you get any thinner.” I was like, “Damn.” – ‘Cause you know what she was thinking? I’m not gonna drink more than one swig of this thing because it’ll make me fat. (Rhett laughs) – I remember when I used to think liquid couldn’t make you gain weight. – How could it, man? You know, it’s just, it’s like water. – And then last year I read an article on WebMD, you know. – Last year. (laughs) – Yeah, I was like, oh there’s calories in water, liquid, not water, liquid. – [Link] Check it out our one day only cyber Monday sale with deeper discounts, up to 50% store wide at mythical.com.