(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More”! Let’s experience burgers the way the queen does. – But first, let’s do a “New Selfie Face”. This one’s called, “You’re the only one left out of Nana’s inheritance.” – (gasps) So there’s two of us. – So who’s going to be left out? – I’ll be left out. – Okay, so I’m kind of happy. (camera shuttering) Simple as that. – Simple as that! – Simple as that. – It’s all in the eyes. – Now, before we get into what we’re gonna do, I do want you to understand that, because I won, the thing that I win is being able to enact a rule that you have to follow for this particular “Good Mythical Morning”. – Yes, you get to have it your way. – You’ve already violated it, oh man, you violated it four or five times! – Oh, the rule that doesn’t yet exist? – The rule is you can’t make eye contact with me. (laughs) I mean, I’m sorry. You can’t look at me. – Uh, great! (silverware clattering) I mean, that’s, uh… You would’ve thought that I subliminally planted it. Oh, look at that. See, I’m looking at the hat right now. I’m not looking at your eyes. – Um, okay, so here’s what we know. And we’re gonna let… – Let’s get all queen-y on ya! – Nicole’s gonna fill us in on some of the details, but basically, there’s a dude on the internet who claims to be a guy who was the royal chef for 15 years. And he revealed that the queen does not eat burgers, unless that burger is something that she doesn’t have to pick up. Meaning a burger without a bun. Because as he said, “Her Majesty’s Victorian upbringing dictates that the only thing you would pick up and eat with your fingers is afternoon tea”, which what a have life! – What a life. – What a life, oop. Looked at your eyeballs. – Yeah, don’t look at me. You know what, you get three strikes when that happens. – Oh, I’m so ready for my burger. (Rhett laughing) – And when the burgers are served,… – I haven’t had a burger in approximately four days! – They are always eaten with a fork and a knife. And they’re usually made with venison that the family hunts themselves at their summer vacation homes. So Nicole, is this a venison burger? – (silverware tapping) Nicole! – [Nicole] Yes? – Tell us how you prepared my burger! – Nicole Well, I didn’t hunt the venison myself. I actually got it from Erewhon. Do you guys ever shop at Erewhon? It’s, like, the best. So I got the venison organic from Erewhon. – I took part in the protest at Erewhon. – Nicole And then I seasoned it with salt, pepper and something called “Browning”. It’s called “Grace’s Browning”, which makes things more brown. Really interesting little… – It makes things more brown? – [Nicole] Yeah, like whenever you based a turkey with browning, it makes it really brown… – Let me guess, it makes it more brown. – [Nicole] Yes, so smart! And then I made it… – How brown? – Nicole Very brown. – How brown is too brown? – [Nicole] No such thing. And then I made a stuffing out of this thing called “Stove Top Savory Herbs”. And then… – Oh, the queen demands only the stove top! – [Nicole] And then, I put some cranberries in it, but I like… – “Stove Top” doesn’t come with the cranberries already in it? – [Nicole] No, I soak the cranberries in chicken stock and cognac, because it sounded good in my head. And that’s what you guys are gonna eat! – Let’s just eat cognac soaked cranberry! – Well, I’ve already got burger on my fork and I can predict that it’s gonna be too brown for you. – Mmm! The cranberry is juicy! – [Nicole] Thank you! – Vodka? – Cognac? – [Nicole] Cognac. – Yes! – You’re not gonna like this burger, man. (Rhett and Nicole laughing) – What’s wrong with burger… I’m not looking at you! – (laughs) I mean, I did, but I’m not looking at you! – What’s wrong with the burger? Is it mushy? – It’s very pure. – Oh, it’s like a… It’s a deer. – I like it, but it’s, you know, it’s a lot. – Ugh! (Rhett laughing) What is wrong? – [Nicole] It’s the browning. – Is it the browning? – [Nicole] I don’t know, do you like gamey meat? – No! – [Nicole] Well, there ya go! – Yeah, he doesn’t like gamey meat. – [Nicole] I didn’t cut it at all. It’s pure, 100% uncut venison. – Yeah, it’s for real. – [Nicole] Yeah. (Link gagging) – Yeah. – Okay. – That’s the real deal. – I lost something over here. I gotta look for it. Oh, I found my earring! I found my lost earring! – Stevie, you got fun facts? – [Stevie] I have facts, yeah. – But they’re not fun. – [Stevie] I don’t know, let’s make ’em fun! – I like these cranberries, though. – [Stevie] The only color of nail polish that the queen will wear is “Essie’s Ballet Slippers”. According to the Essie website, in 1989, Queen Elizabeth’s hairdresser sent the company a letter requesting a bottle of quote, “The only color”, but it’s spelled colour, (laughs) “Her majesty would wear.” – Send me a hundred boxes of the colour of my choice! (crew laughing) Now this “Stove Top”, I gotta hand it to you. – Yeah, the “Stove Top’s” the highlight of this dish. – Yeah, I can tell. – [Nicole] I make a mean “Stove Top”. – “Stove Top” is the highlight of this dish. – My mom, I don’t know if you’ve ever done this, but my mom will make this stuffed chicken thing. – [Nicole] Mm-hmm? – Where it was like, she’d gouge out a hole in a chicken breast and she would stuff it full of “Stove Top”, and then she would put more “Stove Top” on top, and then she would put a piece of cheese over it. – Don’t look at me. – And then… (laughs) When you said don’t look at me, I actually thought that you felt incriminated by my story. And then I realized that you got your… – It’s the rule, man. – It was just a dumb rule. That was a good meal! – It sounds real good. – [Stevie] Moving her handbag from one arm to the other is how the queen indicates to her staff that she’s ready to wrap up her current conversation. – I need a system like that! – I wonder if that’s something they’ve just like noticed when she gets antsy or if that’s literally a signal. – Oh, I think it’s probably a symbol. Signal. – Signal! – We don’t go to parties anymore, but when we do… – Don’t tap me on the shoulder if you don’t want me – to look at you! – I made the rules! I made the rule. I feel like we need, we talked a little bit on “Ear Biscuits”… – Isn’t it… – Don’t look at me! We talked about the system of the way we do parties. And you know, we haven’t really succeeded much at parties. When we started going to parties again, we needed some sort of system that’s got symbols. – It’s a hypocritical chapter. – And signals! We need some signals. – [Stevie] I think we should all wear handbags. – Yeah. Oh Link, he’s ready to go. He just put his hand back on his other hand. – [Stevie] This fact is crazy to me. The queen is known to indulge in chocolate cake and drinks four alcoholic beverages a day. – No. – [Stevie] She sips gin and oh, I looked this up, but how do you pronounce it? Dubonnet? It’s like a sweet wine, before lunch, wine during lunch and a dry martini and a glass of champagne before bed. – That’s a problem. – No, it’s not. – Four drinks a day, every day? – Well, it’s been spaced out. – I think four drinks a day, every day is in the alcoholic spectrum. I mean, I don’t want to cast aspersion or dispersion on the queen and I don’t want to get in trouble with the UK tabloids, which I know they’re big fans of the show. – Stevie Take a screengrab from this and more. “Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning”… (laughs) – But I just gotta say that the queen needs help. (laughs) Put that on the front of the son, “The Queen Needs Help”. – What if the queen did watch that clip of what we just said? – Uh, she’d laugh. – [Stevie] Yeah, the queen’s not picking up a burger, but she’s gonna watch that clip. (all laughing) – “Just getting my little Good Mythical Morning in.” – What if she’s a fan? Why does she need gloves this long? Why would anyone need a glove this long? It’s kind of like what a heel does for the leg to elongate it. This elongates the hand? It’s like, “Look how long that person’s hand is! It goes all the way to the elbow!” – How hard would it be for bacteria to get into that glove and get all the way to your fingers? – [Stevie] I thought it was more of like a modesty thing. Like, you aren’t supposed to show your ankles. – I do feel very modest right now. – You can basically go up a cow’s rectum that far. Like, that’s my point of reference. – Well, you could deliver a baby. You could deliver a baby with these. – A calf baby. – [Stevie] Okay, I did not know this fact. The queen doesn’t need a passport to travel because British passports are issued in the Name Of Her Majesty, so that renders it unnecessary for the queen to have one. But she’s the only member of the royal family that doesn’t have one. – In the name of myself, I aboard this plane! (all laughing) – Did the other countries respect her? I mean, respect that? – [Stevie] Apparently not. – I mean, does the… – You talking about what I said about her? – [Stevie] Yeah. (laughs) – Listen. My concern for the queen is based in a deep respect and love for her. You know, if any one of you told me that you were having four drinks a day and you were like, “This is what I have with my lunch and my dinner and before I go to bed.” I would be like, “We need to talk about that.” Queen included, passport or not. (crew laughing) – [Stevie] Well,… Want another fact? – Yes! – [Stevie] Kate Middleton was the first royal bride with a college degree. – Oh, that’s scandalous. – [Stevie] Oh, wait, okay. (laughs) This might be the best fact. A bagpipe player stands… I don’t know if these are true! I mean, I can’t, okay. A bagpipe player stands under the queen’s bedroom window and plays for 15 minutes every morning to wake the queen up. It’s a tradition that spans all the way back to 1843, started by her great, great grandmother, Queen Victoria. – This seems true to me. – I mean, back when you didn’t have alarm clocks. – But now? – Yeah, that seems true to me. I get my kids to do a little, you know… – Your kids wake you up in the morning? – Recorder solo outside of the door. That’s what I do. I’d say, “Kids, you know, at seven o’clock, daddy needs his ‘She’ll Be Coming ‘Round The Mountain’ (laughs) on the recorder.” (Link imitates recorder playing) I totally froze when I had to do “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round The Mountain” on the recorder during our sixth grade thing that the parents came to. Me and Lisa Buss, if I recall correctly, it was maybe me and Lisa Buss. It might be me and Anne Holmes, I can’t remember, but we had a duo. – Duet, you say? – Where we both had to play the same thing, like it wasn’t like one of us… – [Stevie] Stop looking at him! – Yeah, why are you looking at me? – He has to tell me! – I wasn’t playing in harmony. – For a little while there, I was looking right at him. – We’re both supposed to do it. And she really carried the whole thing. – You pantomimed? – Halfway through, I was like, “I might as well not be blowing.” – You were like… – But I can do the fingers. (laughs) And it was just more like, I think my fingers just started pumping like this. You know, it was like, “He’s clearly not playing anything.” – Pumping those fingers. – (laughs) He’s really pumping that recorder. (upbeat techno music) (Rhett and Link laughing) – [Link] Get the “Mythical Snackiverse Lunch Box and Thermos Collectible Set” by joining the “Mythical Society” third degree monthly by January 31st or third degree quarterly, or annual plan by March 31st. mythicalsociety.com!