(rooster crows) (lion roars) (logo bangs) (wheel clicks) – Seemed like a lip sync. (Link laughs) – Well. (Link claps) (both laugh) Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Let’s get to know the crew who are not here with us. You know, we miss the extended Mythical crew, ’cause they’re still not here. – Right. – But they can be on internet communication. – It can be on internet communication. – And we are gonna find out about their shattered dreams, which should be really fun. – And I’m not, let me just let you know, I’m not going to slather peanut butter onto Link’s goozle. – Well, you did promise that. – But first, daddy like, daddy don’t like. Daddy like peanut butter. ♪ Daddy like jelly ♪ No, you gotta say daddy don’t like. ♪ – Oh. (crew laughs) (Link laughs) – You already lost. Daddy like peanut butter. – Daddy don’t like goozle’s peanut butter. – Daddy like jelly. – Daddy don’t like pain. – Daddy like donuts. – Daddy don’t like blood. – Daddy like sugar. – Daddy don’t like eyeballs. – Daddy like daddies. – Daddy don’t like fallen trees. – Daddy like wheat. – Daddy don’t like wheat. – Daddy like farms. – Daddy like the future. Aw, why am I saying it like that? (Rhett laughs) I want a like. – You know what, that’s good. – And I always think- – Be positive. – What is the thing on here that we have to add to it? – The 10-word story? – No, it’s actually not one of these. It’s when we were doing the caffeine, wasn’t it? When we drank all that caffeine, and we had to add to the story, and every time we do daddy like, daddy don’t like, I think we’re supposed to add to it halfway through it. – And you’re just really supposed to come up with a new thing that you don’t like. – So I got it wrong in two different ways. Purple beard. – I’m not gonna put this on your goozle. (Link sighs) – Let’s read the first shattered dream. – [Rhett] I had to get that first one. – [Link] So we’ve got Matt Carney. – [Rhett] Mm. – [Link] We’ve got Jenna, we’ve got Aubrey, and we’ve got Caleb. – Okay. – And they’re waiting to speak with us about their shattered dreams. – That one’s too good, I’m gonna save it. – Hey, guys. – Okay. – Hey, guys. – Hi. – Hey, guys. – Hi. – Hi. – [Caleb] Hi. – Hi. – Hi. (crew laughs) – That was them. One of them was doing an impersonation of Grimace. – Caleb, was that you? – [Caleb] Yeah, that was me. (Caleb laughs) – That’s pretty good, give us some more of that. Was it Grimace, was that Eeyore? Who was that? – [Caleb] I don’t know who it was, but I guess it’s Grimace now. That does seem what Grimace would sound like. – Hi. – [Caleb] Such a rotund, purple fellow. (people laugh) – Okay, one of you wanted to be a zoo vet. – Bye, buddy, hope you find your dad. It sounded like the narwhal too. – First of all, I wanna say I’m sorry if we played any role in shattering any of these dreams, because you’re all working for us now. – Yeah, this could be awkward. – “I had big hopes and dreams “of becoming a zoo veterinarian. “I had a computer game called zoo vet, “and my favorite part was the polar bear checkup, “where you got to insert a little rectal thermometer “into the bear, and it would let out a little toot, “which I found hilarious.” – What? – “For my fifth grade graduation, “I wrote about how I would go to Cornell “to become a zoo vet.” You gotta go to Cornell to become a zoo vet? And nothing against zoo vets, I just didn’t think Cornell was, like, the pipeline to zoo vets. – Well, if you wanna, like, do rectic, rectig, ret- – Recticle? – Rectal temperature checking on polar bears, then you gotta go to Cornell. – “I soon found that I am both terrible “at math and science, “and break out in hives near anything with long fur.” Okay, that’s a hint. “My dreams of being a zoo vet were shattered.” – Hm. – Who really likes animals? – I mean, this is a polar bear-pooting zoo vet computer game, I guess it could be in any of their time ranges here. – Thank you for bringing up the- – Caleb’s a youngster. – The Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine. I’m sorry, it looks like an excellent, I mean, it looks like, this is definitely the best vet school in America, and I don’t… NC State has one, and I’m saying that. – That’s a nice, lots of yellow chairs. I don’t see any polar bear buttholes. I would think they would be plastered on all the walls. I don’t know, man. – Well, I feel like I would know. If Jenna liked animals this much- – [Link] We would know about it. – I feel like I would know about it. For some reason, Aubrey is the one that just makes the most sense for me. – Let’s just pencil Aubrey in. Aubrey, we’re penciling you in as the polar bear rectal gal. Are you okay with that? – [Aubrey] Yeah, I’m okay with that. – Okay. – I promised I wouldn’t do this, but, you know, upper pat. – You won, but, so you earn the right to break your promise, but I’m just gonna say that, your fencing technique was illegal, man. You were slapping. – Well, we didn’t say we were going by traditional fencing rules. – I thought that that was the spoon the whole time, but it was your actual hand. – You’re like, that spoon got soft. – Hm, that smells good. That’s like a cologne application. – I think there’s a thing called slap fencing. I thought that’s what we were playing, slap fencing. – You were, like, doing this. – Well, because you had a bunch of balloons, and I was just trying to pop them. – You got to poke, man. – I just wanted to pop the balloons. – You got to poke. – Okay. – Let me read this next one. “I was in a three-person rap group in high school “known as Unsygned Hype.” (Rhett laughs) And Unsygned is with a Y, as well as Hype. – [Stevie] Unsygned Height? – Hype. – Or Hype? Hype? Hype. – Yeah, “Just before performing our local teen center, “we heard a big time talent scout would be in the audience, “and I immediately knew “this performance would change my life forever.” – Yeah. – “I was wrong.” (Rhett laughs) Three person rap-group known as Unsygned Hype, so, basically, you always thought that you would never be signed, or that you would have to change your name once you got signed to a label. – But that would be cool and ironic. This feels very Caleb. – [Stevie] What was the age, what was it? Middle school, high school? – It says local teen center and high school, yeah, okay. You know what, any of these people could be aspiring rappers. We were. – True. – Man, that smells good, I’m getting hungry. – This feels like Carney or Caleb, but more Caleb than Carney. – You don’t think Jenna could rap? Again, we would know that about her. – I just feel like, if she really wanted to be a rapper, then she would’ve disclosed that. – Right. (people laugh) Well, let’s face it, if Jenna wanted to be a rapper, she would be. – She would be, right, that’s really what I’m gonna say. – [Link] Right, Jenna? – [Jenna] I don’t know what to say to that. (Rhett laughs) – Well, it’s a compliment. – Yeah. – Thank you. – Also a trap. – You can be anything you wanna be, Jenna. – You know what, let’s pencil Carney in for this. – Oh, interesting, okay. – Where is he? – All right, this is why I was also, ’cause I kinda had a preview of these. – Oh, you had a preview? – Well, I just looked over here. This is, I think, Jenna. “I dreamed of playing on the U.S. Women’s Softball Team “in the Olympics, “and then they removed the sport-” – Could be Carney. – “From the Olympics.” (Rhett laughs) – I mean, I like the idea of being on a all-women’s team, you know what I’m saying? – Yeah, oh, yeah. “The news was announced in 2006, when I…” Every once in a while, there’s a dirty old man joke that happens, okay? I apologize for him, and when it happens when he does it, I apologize for me. When two 40-something-year-old men- – What’s dirty about a guy wanting to hang out with a bunch of- – Well, it just sounds like something your dad would say. I’d like to be on a girls’ softball team. (Rhett chuckles) – Yeah, it does, doesn’t it? – Yeah. – Sorry, Jenna, if this is you. – “The news was announced in 2006 “when I was a junior in high school.” Do the math on that. “And put into effect in 2012. “The news informed my decision “about turning down softball scholarships “and not playing in college.” – Oh, wow. – This is Jenna. – But we didn’t know this about Jenna, if it is Jenna. – I know that Jenna is athletic, and I could totally see, and I think we’ve talked about softball. I feel like we’ve had softball conversations, but I did not know that she was thinking about the Olympics. – Jenna, did you know that they’re bringing softball back to the Olympics? – [Jenna] I was not aware. – They are, girl, they are. I mean, we’re reading the wiki. “Softball will be featured “at the 2020 summer Olympics in Tokyo.” (Rhett shouts) (bell rings) Wow. Been a long time coming, man. – I was reading an article the other day that 70% of people in Japan do not want the Olympics to take place this summer. – Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm. – But they’re saying that they’re gonna do it anyway. – So Jenna, softball was coming back, and then it didn’t happen. Maybe it’s softball that’s cursed, or maybe it’s you. Thoughts? – [Jenna] I am absolutely cursed, yes. – Oh. (Rhett laughs) – Wow. – And proud of it. (both laugh) – Absolutely. – Yeah, we’re thinking this is you. I mean, the stuff that they’re putting in the Olympics, breakdancing is an Olympic sport now. – Yeah, breakdancing, yeah, yeah, yeah. – What does it mean that, like, the year they introduce breakdancing is the year they bring back women’s softball? That just seems a little bit out of order to me, but I don’t know. – Oh, there’s gonna be sport climbing, surfing, skateboarding, karate, and baseball and softball. – So baseball was taken away too? – [Stevie] It was, like, a conference call, and, you know, the breakdancing guy was like, what about breakdancing? And then the softball woman was like, oh, if breakdancing gets in, then. – What did he say? Ice dancing? Yeah. – [Stevie] Softball has to come back. – Jenna wanted to be softball Olympiad. The balls are bigger. – Let’s remind everybody how they can get this Mythical Snackiverse lunch box and thermos set. Listen, there’s only one way to do that, and that is to be a third-degree Mythical Society member. That’s how you get these collectibles, but this one, this is last chance, ’cause this is the last month to be eligible to get this thing. You gotta join third-degree quarterly or annual by March 31st. Visit mythicalsociety.com. – All right. – This one’s gonna blow you away, by the way. – If we are correct, then this one is Caleb, but we reserve the right to switch it to hot dog on a stick man, who is now head on a stick, Carney. Do you realize that? Your head’s on a stick, and of course, we’re gonna mention hot dog on a stick, ’cause you were a former employee. – I was trying to make it through this without saying anything about hot dog on a stick, but. – Couldn’t do it. – [Carney] Head on a stick was pretty good. (Rhett laughs) – Head on a stick was pretty good. – Thank you. – How about this? – Put a hot dog underneath it. – I was supposed to start a band with Lucas, but then 2020 happened. – Mad Dog Lucas? – Somebody was gonna do a band, y’all are doing bands now? I didn’t even know that was happening. – Caleb, I believe that you’re musical. – This is exciting. – Mad Dog Lucas, I didn’t know that he was musical. Hm. – Hm, what instrument do you think Lucas plays? He looks like a bass man. – I don’t know, I wanna ask Caleb, but I know he’s not gonna answer me. – Caleb seems like a keyboard, but singing at the same time. – What if we ask Grimace? Hey, Grimace. – [Grimace] Did someone call me? (Rhett laughs) – Yeah, man, thanks for joining us. We’re playing a game where… I understand you’re friends with Caleb, right? – [Grimace] He gives me chicken nuggets. – Oh. – Do you know if Caleb is musical? Like, can he play an instrument, Grimace? – [Grimace] I’ve seen him play a hamburger or two. – Oh, ooh. – Okay. – Misdirection. – This is not a branding opportunity. We need a straight answer, Grimace. What about Lucas? Did you know that Lucas could play an instrument? – [Grimace] Oh, yeah, I’ve seen him play a little chicken nugget. (Rhett laughs) – Grimace only knows about people playing food as instruments. You just dropped a little bit of your… Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, it’s getting on your, aw. – Crap, man, crap, crap, wipe it. – Gotta get that. – Wipe my goozle, dude. – You gotta get that, that’s gonna oil things. – Oh, shoot, that’s on my pants. I went through the whole last thing wearing something over my pants. – I promised I wouldn’t do this, that’s the thing. Yeah, that’s gonna be fine. – It’s really my crotch that I need to worry about. – That’s gonna be fine, and then just kinda stuff that. Just sorta keep it like that. – Okay, these are our final answers. Jenna, let’s start with you. Did you wanna be a softball Olympian? – [Jenna] Yes, I did, yeah, that’s correct. – You know what, it’s not too late. They brought it back, and we’ll just, we’ll work out a way for you to split your time. – Yeah. – [Jenna] Ooh, I’m too, I’m, I, my knees. I’m too old, man. (Rhett laughs) – My knees. – Oh, you were a catcher, huh? – Oh, wow, okay. – [Jenna] No. (Jenna laughs) I was a slap hitter and a center fielder. – A slab hitter? – Slap hitter. – [Jenna] Yep, slap hitter. – That’s what I did to Link earlier with the sword. – [Jenna] When you hit, you would run as the ball was being pitched, so, by the time you hit it, you were already two steps down the baseline, yeah. – I’ve seen this happen. – [Jenna] Mm-hm, yeah, that’s what I did. – What? Hold on. Hold on. They would start the pitch, and you would run before hitting the ball? – No, no, no, you take a step back, and you step into it, and as you hit, you are already running. – [Jenna] Running as you are hitting the ball, yeah. – Yeah. You can only do that in softball though. There’s no baseball players who do that because you can time it, ’cause you can time it a little bit better, right? Is that why it works? – [Jenna] Yes, yeah. It’s about timing so that you don’t hit it out of the batter’s box. You still have to be in the batter’s box when you make contact. – You think you can still do that? – It sounds like how Happy Gilmore hit a golf ball. – It is. – It is. It’s very similar, and I have done that on a golf course, but I got in trouble, so. (Rhett laughs) – That’s against the rules. Okay, so one for one. – Leave it to Jenna to make everything violent and fun. – Okay, Aubrey, are we right about you wanting to be a zoo vet? – [Aubrey] Yeah, you are absolutely correct. – Mm-kay. – Man, that game, what was that game called, with the polar bear tuckus? – “Zoo Vet.” – “Zoo Vet,” that’s just what it was called? – [Aubrey] Yeah, just “Zoo Vet.” – Wow. – So, and the thing that kinda sent you off of the path was saying, aw, I don’t think I got the math and science thing down, but I feel like you could’ve got around that. I mean, I feel like you gave up on this dream prematurely, is what I’m saying. – You know, when you first started working here, and you scooped up that poop, I remember thinking, she should be a vet. – Uh-huh, yep. – I don’t mean to keep bringing that up, but, I mean, I think that’s your hot dog on a stick. (Rhett laughs) The pooper scooper. – [Aubrey] Oh no. (Rhett laughs) – Yeah. – [Link] Matt Carney. – So, it’s either Carney. I think Carney was definitely- – Carney was in a rap group. – Carney’s not thinking about starting a band right now, I don’t think so. – No, no, no. – I think he was a rap trio. Are we right? – [Caleb] Well, first, I always wondered, every idea that Aubrey pitches for GMM, it involves a rectal thermometer in some fashion, (Rhett laughs) and now, I understand why that is. – Yeah, we’ll get there eventually. That’ll be the punishment for one of these. – Aubrey, if it makes you feel any better, I always have one in. (people laugh and groan) I just wanna know my temperature at all times. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s connected to your phone. It’s Bluetooth. – Yeah. (crew laughs) I mean, once it gets so deep, you don’t wanna touch it anymore. – But it doesn’t matter, ’cause it’s Bluetooth. – Just leave it in. – Yeah. – Right, Aubrey? – [Aubrey] That’s correct. (Rhett laughs) – That’s correct. Or would you say co-rectal? (Aubrey laughs) – [Caleb] I was the third member of Unsygned Hype, yes, I was. – Unsygned Hype, we gotta bring that back. – Unsygned Hype. Did you have original raps? – [Caleb] Yeah, we wrote a few originals, and it just didn’t, it kinda fizzled, and we all went off our separate ways to college, but for a while, we were on top of the world. (Rhett laughs) – Was there really a talent scout there, or was that just something that you made up or heard? – It was like one of those things you hear. You’re like, there’s gonna be a guy here who, like, he represents this band, or he knows the guys in O-Town, or something like that. (Rhett and Link laugh) We got all excited. – He’s going around to the teen centers. – [Stevie] Do you remember any of the lyrics, any of your songs? – Yeah, but a rhyme for us. – [Caleb] I do remember them. I think I’ll save that for another day, but I do remember. – Former rap star turned hot dog on a stick employee. – Yeah, that’s right. You can cancel out hot dog on a stick with Unsygned Hype, if you bring some heat. You don’t have to do it right now, but it’s just something to think about. – Grimace, I mean Caleb. – [Carney] Yeah, let me work on it. – [Caleb] Yes. – That means that you were gonna start a band with Lucas? – [Caleb] Yeah, but I also wanna say, you guys wouldn’t have been entirely off base with the rap guess, because I also wanted to have a rap group way back when, but that’s not a shattered dream, perse. It was the gateway into slam poetry. But anyways, yeah, band with Lucas. – As it often is. – Had you guys picked out a name yet? And who was gonna play what? And, like, what kind of music are we talking? I’m still interested. – [Caleb] Probably, like, prog music, like, progressive rock type stuff. Lucas was showing me, like, Gentle Giant, like, a few weeks before the studio shut down, and yeah, I was gonna play guitar, Lucas plays synth. – Oh, I had it backwards. – Lucas also plays drums, and I also play bass, so we could’ve rounded things off if we recorded things, but then, yeah, then the studio shut down, and we were like, oh, crap, we were supposed to practice for the first time this week. And then we were like, well, we’ll just feel this out, and then Los Angeles shut down. – Yeah. – [Caleb] And we were like, yeah, nothing’s happening, and here we are today. – Yeah, we were all in that, let’s just feel this thing out, like, a year ago. Oh, yeah. – Maybe we could have them back here as, like, you know, as, like, the backing band for us. – Yeah. – Like, way back. Like, I’m pointing through this wall at, like, the kitchen. – Like, on the front, outside? – Yeah, yeah. (Rhett laughs) – [Caleb] We’ll just play really loudly. – Oh, wow, okay. Well, it’s good to know that you’ve got that skill set. – Send your demos to Carney, and he’ll add. – He knows a guy. (Rhett laughs) – Yeah, he’s heard of a guy. – He knows a guy. – He’ll add his- – He can get in touch with a guy. – His raps to it. – [Rhett] Get the Mythical Snackiverse lunchbox and thermos set while you can. Join third-degree quarterly or annual by March 31st to be eligible. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.