(rooster crowing) (animal roaring) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More”. You’ve eaten a bunch of chicken wings. What do you do with all those bones? Well, I think you could make jewelry. Let’s test that theory. – But first, Daddy Like, Daddy Don’t Like. Daddy like blue cheese. Daddy don’t like blue cheese. – Daddy like ranch. – Daddy don’t like raised eyebrows. Daddy do like raised eyebrows. – Daddy don’t like stink. – Daddy like chicken. – Daddy don’t like cuts. – What? Daddy like cuts that heal. – Daddy don’t like bruises. – Daddy like doctors. – Daddy don’t like. (sighing) I was gonna say nurses, but I do like nurses. You spend a lot more time with a nurse than you do with a doctor. You know what I’m saying? _That’s true. – If something’s going on, it’s the nurses that are the true heroes. Doctors swoop in and just like, cut stuff. – Take all the credit. – Cut stuff and clip stuff and give opinions. You know, whenever you’re talking to a nurse or like a technician, it’s like, you know, you go in for an x-ray or some sort of test or something and they, well, we can’t, we’ve seen it, but we can’t, you know the doctor’s gonna have to tell you what he thinks. – Right, right, right. – I always push them to tell me anyway, because they’re the ones who know. – They do. – It’s like, you know what? Don’t worry about it. You’re fine. – Especially if they’re a registered nurse. I’ve had many dealings with unregistered nurses and I mean, you can’t trust an unregistered nurse. – Do you ask them to their face? Excuse me, Mr. Nurse. – I don’t even know what registered and unregistered is. – Does registered mean like. – Can I see your registration? – Does it mean like, that they’ve like passed a certain test? So unregistered is like nurse in training? – Who knows, man? – A registered nurse is a nurse who has graduated from the nursing program. – We call them an RN. A URN is just something that doesn’t exist. – So they have a nursing license. Okay. All right. – Did you almost fall? – I almost did. I would have needed an unregistered nurse to deal with the aftermath of that. – Hello nurse! Now, listen, we’ve got some chicken bones here because we just ate some chicken wings, and waste not want not. The suggestion is to turn this into jewelry, which we are going to do. – These all have holes in them. – Yeah. Mad Dog Lucas has bored some holes. Oh gosh. This is begging to be an earring. Just look at it. And after just a day strutting your stuff, boy, it’s gonna, you gonna smell nice. Day three, you’ll smell really nice. I’m going to turn this into an earring. – Okay. You do earrings. – ‘Cause I got some clippies here. – What are those, isn’t there some kind of jewelry that like kind of goes across your forehead. – You talking about a. – And it hangs down – A headpiece? – Yeah, like a little tiara. Yeah. We’re gonna do that. – A tiara? – I know, a tiara. It’s an unregistered tiara. It hasn’t got his license yet. – I mean, for the wing shops, I wonder what else are they thinking about? If they had a specific trashcan that’s just for the bones. You think they could just– – The wing shops? – Yeah. Like wing stores. – Well, they sell the wings intact to the customers who discarded them. – Right, but when they eat them there, if they had a special trashcan that was just for bones to be made into, say, jewelry later, or something else. I wonder. – What can you do with bones? Is that your question? – Yeah, what else can you do with bones? – What can you do with bones? – What can you do with bones, yeah. Let’s come up with some stuff. – David is currently Googling. What can you do with bones? – You can make jewelry. – You can make flutes! You can make fertilizer. Food, weapons. – I mean, wasn’t it the giant that ground them up to make his bread? – Bone bread? – Yeah. The Jack and the Beanstalk giant. Isn’t that what happened? – He probably did bone meal, yeah. That sounds about right. – Okay. So I’m going to let this thing dangle. – I gotta have, Hmm. Did I ever read that story to you? Or did it just? – “Jack and the Beanstalk”? Rhett, please read me “Jack and the Beanstalk” again. I’m not gonna help you come up with any ideas. – No, the, because the story that I wrote as a kid was very “Jack and the Beanstalk”-ish because it was a dude that was trying to go somewhere. You know? – I mean. – If they had a beanstalk, he could’ve gotten him in his crew across that chasm. – You’ve told me the story as an adult. – But I didn’t tell you as a child. I think I was ashamed. – And I don’t, so I honestly don’t know. It’s one of those things where like, the first time we ever talked about it on the internet. – That was the first time you knew about it? – No, well, that would be the test. Did I know about it then? And is that the memory I’m accessing? – I’m sure somebody remembers me talking about it. – So my response then is what I defer to now, because I will say that now, I feel like I remember you telling me about it as a child. But I might– – I kept thinking I was gonna finish it. I was like, I’ll figure out how they’re gonna get across that chasm. I didn’t really understand anything about story structure or storytelling. I just knew it would be fun for somebody to wake up in a weird place and not know what was going on. But I tell you, those short-legged cows, I really thought that would have become a thing by now. Because my thinking was as a child, I was like, you’ve got this bovine, right? You’ve got just your regular run of the mill bovine, which is a cow. And they are somehow related to something, some sort of predecessor, some sort of wild ancestor, be that buffalo or what have you. But you just put a cow in the woods that is not gonna last long, right? It’s been domesticated and bred and we’ve taken the edges off of the cattle so we can just get the things that we want from them, right? Now I was thinking that if you did this over many, many generations, you would continue to breed cattle that only gave you what you want. And you don’t need long legs. Who eats cow legs? So you go with short legs, fat cows. – Who eats cow legs? – It’s just, it’s just a short, fat cow that’s just eatin’ grass all the time. And you don’t want them to lose that fat and that meat. So you can make the legs a little short, like a little dachshund. And I just thought that that would be a thing by now, but the farmers didn’t read my book because I didn’t publish it. – That’s not the only reason they didn’t read it. You didn’t finish it. – Right. And I gotta find that, man. – You gotta find it. – He met a whole crew. – If you had given it to me as a child, we’d still have it. – If I remember correctly, he woke up and, he woke up and he was in a bed. Great start, huh? And he starts walking around and there’s other people sleeping and he starts waking them up too. – [Stevie] Wait, the wiener cow does this? – No, the man. – The man. – [Stevie] Oh. – And then he goes outside and. – [Stevie] I missed that part. – He wakes up, he goes outside. He sees that he’s in like a castle, some sort of a kingdom that is just immaculate, beautifully put together. But there’s nobody around. They’re all asleep. But there’s these cows, the cows are not asleep. The cows just have short legs. And then he just starts walking in a direction. I didn’t know what his problem was. I didn’t know, again, it wasn’t a good story, but it had some elements that I could’ve really worked with. And if it hadn’t gotten to the farmers, we’d have short-legged cows now, and everybody would be like, you’d be on like a tour of a farm, like kids for, you know, field trips. And they’d be like, “You see these cows? Now of course, when you see cows, you just think short legs. But there was a time in which cows had long legs, almost like a buffalo, but it wasn’t until a book, a great novel was written by one Rhett McLaughlin.” – A child. – “He wrote it as a child.” – [Stevie] Did you physically, you wrote this down on paper. – By hand on paper. – [Stevie] And do you have this in your possession and that’s why you remember it? – No, it’s just, it’s the one novel that I started when I was a child. – [Stevie] Oh, how long are we talking? – 14 pages, maybe. – [Stevie] I mean, that’s substantial for a kid. – I feel sure that you told me about it at the time. I feel like I’ve been given some sort of necklace to then be put out into the forest and then like, be like, baked for something. – What happened to your earrings? – They’re right here. I’m about to put them on. (crew laughing) Before I put these on, have you ordered the new magical “Good Mythical Morning” heat-activated mug? What are you waiting for? It’s magic. Get yours at mythical.com and then fill it with hot stuff and it will reveal, oh, like Rhett’s. – Yeah, it turns into that. – Before, after. – See? – Give it a little. – This is the old long-legged cow. This is the new short-legged cow. You can taste the difference. That’s what the commercial would be. When we brought out the new genetically engineered modified cow with the short legs, there will be a farmer, and it would be, actually it would be Sam Elliott. If we could get him, if we could afford him. And it would be like kind of a crossover between, new meat is what we would call it. New meat and the Jeep or the Ram. Does he do the Ram? He’s the Ram guy. Yeah. And so he’d be in the Ram. And then there would be this big short-legged cow that’s just in the back of a Dodge Ram because it’s not gonna go anywhere. It can’t get out of the truck ’cause it’s got short legs. Sam Elliott drives up and he says, “Hey, that’s new meat. You can taste the difference.” And then he just drives off. – [Stevie] What if he’s just like, “Where’s the short beef?” – (laughing) Well, yeah. I like that too. We’ll take that into advisement. – Hello? Hello? (crew laughing) Is anyone here in this forest? Hello? I’m alone! – Ma’am, can I help you? – I’ve got some chicken. Hi. – I’ve got some room in the back with my short-legged cow. – Get me out of here. I have a feeling that I’ve been placed here in this forest as bait. – That’s new meat. You can taste the difference. – Can I get a ride next to your stumpy-legged cow? – Oh, sure. Hop on in the back. – Oh, thank you. I would let you in my extended cab, if you know what I mean, but– – You made it sound sexual but I can’t quite make heads or tails of it. That’s gonna work. – [Stevie] This is what people should do on TikTok. – Ma’am, do you like my tiara? It’s made from new meat. These are the, this is the leg of the cattle. – You gotta, here, you gotta get it around. – It’s very short. I’ve tied it too tight. I’ll do this. – Yeah, put it around and then notch it in the back. Or notch it around your ears, like. – I can’t notch it, I have to hold it. But it was okay because my Ram is self-driving. – Do you want a, do you want to, oh gosh, this is. – The cow doesn’t even know that it’s self-driving. I told him, but he didn’t seem to care. – Do you want me to make it work? – We’ve only got one. If this goes well, we’ll breed him with one. But the thing is, is that we gotta breed him with a long-legged cow which will mean we got medium-legged cows. And I think you’ll be able to taste the difference. – So you’ve got the depth with the voice but something very important is missing from Sam Elliot. I don’t know. – What’s that, his accent? – Yeah, you’re. – It’s more like this. What is it? What is it? I don’t know what Sam Elliot really talks like. – Ram, Dodge Ram. Dodge Ram, short legs. – Sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes– – Sometimes you eat the bar. Sometimes the bar eats you. Sometimes you can taste the difference. – It’s lower. – Sometimes you can taste the difference. – It’s not that low, is it? – Sometimes you can taste the difference, especially if the legs are short. – It is that low. Yeah, that’s better. – How short would you think the legs are? – Get lower. – Get there. – Lower. – Take a peek over the– – Lower. – Take a peek over the bed of the truck and just see how short the legs are. The legs are shorter than you think they are. My voice is deeper than you think it is. And my Ram is more self-driving than you thought it was. Add some scientific magic to your mythical mug collection with the GMM heat-activated mug, available now at mythical.com.