(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) (bass booming) – Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Rich people do crazy stuff, don’t they? And then our team makes up crazy stuff that they think we think rich people would do and we have to tell the difference. – Yep. But before we do that, we play, “Daddy Like, Daddy Don’t Like.” So one daddy likes things, the other daddy doesn’t like things. Which daddy do you want to be? – Daddy like hair. – Daddy don’t like, whoop. (laughs) – Seriously? – I already lost. – You already lost? – Yeah, I… – Okay, daddy, daddy incapable of not liking. – Can I tell you why? Can I defend myself? – I’ll give you one more chance. – I was gonna say, “Daddy don’t like no hair,” but then I thought that it was baldist, so yeah. – Oh yeah, yeah. We don’t want to throw bald people under the bus. – Yeah, right, and so I just froze up because I couldn’t think of an alternative. – What about Bezos himself though? – That’s what was on the brain. I got Bezos on the brain. – You want some of Bezos’ money. You don’t want to turn them against you. – Daddy don’t like. – All right, fine, you don’t get a second chance. – Okay, all right. – Stevie, I’m correct in what I said, right? Sometimes I just say things. – [Stevie] That daddy like hair? – Daddy like hair in all the right places. No, about the concept of this game. You’ve lied to us. You’re gonna lie to us, but you’re also gonna tell us the truth about exorbitant lives of just… Let’s do it, let’s play. – [Stevie] Yeah, we’re gonna go, we’re gonna go through history. I’m gonna tell you about some rich people that have done some crazy stuff. – Exorbitant lives of rich people. – [Stevie] Or have they? ‘Cause I could just be making all this up and I am reading it for the first time. Marcus Licinius Crassus, you know him as Mark. – Yeah. (chuckles) – Good old Mark, rich Mark. – Was a Roman general who was often considered the richest man in Rome. Crassus started Rome’s first fire brigade but his men would actually allow buildings to burn until their owners sold their property to Crassus at abysmally low prices. If they didn’t sell, the fire brigade let the building burn to a crisp. – Good, good plan. – Yeah, that’s that’s pretty cold and heartless. – This is kind of like that guy that we knew who worked for the Buoys Creek volunteer fire department who would set the houses on fire, like the abandoned houses, then they could go put them out. But he did get caught. – He did get caught. – He did get caught. – We’re not gonna say his name. – Right, right. He wasn’t very rich though. – A lot of the buildings that we would frequent were… – Targets. – Were targets. It was kind of, it was a bummer for us because we would go hang out in those abandoned houses. – And then they’d get burned down. – I think, I think this dude is corrupt but he was making it rain. – I don’t, I don’t know. I just haven’t heard, I’ve heard of Marcus Aurelius. – Just because you haven’t… You think you’ve heard of every Roman that’s done stuff? – The richest Roman ever. I feel like I would have- – She said the richest Roman ever? – At the time? – [Stevie] The richest man in Rome. – The richest man in Rome, I feel like he would be more famous. – Well, the thing that’s getting me is that if your house is on fire, you don’t have much. I guess you that’s the point. You don’t have much room to negotiate. – The story sounds true. – But it’s like, who wants to, who wants to sell a house? Who would want to keep a house that’s burning anyway? Yeah, this is brilliant. It’s sad, it’s wrong. – The story sounds true. It’s the name that I’m taking issue with. – [Stevie] It’s real. – Yeah. Hey, he’ll buy your house or he’ll let it burn to the ground. – What was his name? Marcus? – You lose it either way. – [Stevie] Marcus Licinius Crassus. – At least get some money. – I wonder if there was… So he was buying a bunch of half burnt houses. – But not too burnt. – Just a little burnt. – Yeah, I think that Roman houses, a lot of that stuff was made out of like, stone and stuff. I mean, what’s gonna burn? – Hm, good point. – [Stevie] Ludovico Fognini. (Rhett laughing) – Hopefully he’s Italian. – [Stevie] Ludo was an Italian aristocrat. – Ludo! – [Stevie] During 13th century who became rich through his improved design of the watermill. While an astute engineer, Fognini (laughs) was obsessed with two passions, self-portraits and not wearing clothes. In his lifetime, he commissioned over 700 self-portraits and gave many away as gifts, which is odd considering that these paintings were all of him in the nude in various woodland settings. – (laughs) There’s so many details in this that would be so fun to make up. I’m taking issue with the, with the making money off of an improved design of a windmill of a watermill. What did it say? – Windmill. – Windmill. – [Stevie] Yeah, watermill. – Watermill you say? – ‘Cause I just think, I don’t, I think this is like pre-patent. I don’t know how much money you made off of an invention in a 13th century. So I’m going on with, fake and lame. – Um, nude in the woods. Rich people like to get portraits commissioned of themselves. – Yeah, right. – And they will, they’ll hang them up in places that then they have to see all the time. It’s kind of like wearing a sweatshirt with a picture of yourself and your friend on it. (crew laughing) – What are you talking about? – It’s like, it’s a bit strange. It’s better if you wear it. I’m gonna say, this is fake. Too many details. – [Stevie] If he went out into the woods, nude, for 700 portraits and each portrait took like a week for the paint, this is fake. – I did the math. – [Stevie] It’s fake. – He would get poison Ivy. – [Stevie] But. – He would get poison ivy. – [Stevie] Oh god, oh, I can’t even imagine. Oh, Ludo. – And when you get poison ivy in those sensitive places, wow. – Hmm. All right. Let’s hear another one. Rich people can do something crazy. – [Stevie] John “Mad Jack” Mytton. – John Jack Mytton. – John Jack, John Jack. – [Stevie] John “Mad Jack” Mytton was a British aristocat, aristocrat (laughs). – He was an aristocat. – Great movie. – [Stevie] In the 1800s who, in modern day currency, made about $1 million a year off of his estates. Eccentric in his entire life growing up, Mad Jack was known to play practical jokes on his tutors, such as the time he left a horse in one tutor’s bedroom. Fond of pets, he had 2,000 dogs in his manor and fed his favorite steak and champagne. He also once showed up to a dinner party riding a bear and got bit in the calf because, bear. – Real, but I was thinking it was fake until the bit in the calf. – Riding a bear. – That is. – How do you ride a bear? – With a saddle, a bear saddle. – Wow, how do you ride a bear? Google that. – Yeah, see? Bear saddle. They don’t like it though. In fact that’s why they’ll bite you in the calf. (Link humming) – [Stevie] John “Mad Jack” Mytton. – This seems, I just don’t think… Mm-mm, no, this is fake. – [Stevie] Real. – Real? Is there a picture of this? – Picture of his calf wound? – Some footage? – [Stevie] No. – No? All right. – [Stevie] 2000 dogs. 700 new portraits in the woods. – Yeah, but see, one of those is believable. – A lot of dogs, riding a bear. Riding a bear, that sounds like, man, that sounds like fun. – What? Are the 2000 dogs, are they in a room? Are they in like kennels? – Yeah, they’re drinking champagne. – [Stevie] In his manor. – Just hanging out, man. He probably he probably has like kennels, and kennels, and kennels. – Those dogs had it. – All right, let’s hear another one. – [Stevie] John Jacob Astor was a German-born merchant who made his fortune trading in furs in the early-19th century. But he didn’t only sell fur. Astor’s fortune was also made by sneaking opium into China against Imperial orders. When he died in 1848, Astor was worth $168 billion in today’s money. – What? – Wow. – What? I mean, the opium trade is something that my kids studied but I didn’t. (crew laughing) You know, it’s interesting. Like when we came up, the stuff that we learned in history class, it’s like there’s a lot more history than what we learned growing up. – Yeah, we can tell you a lot about North Carolina. – Yeah, I listened in that class. – All the things that happened in North Carolina. And I use that wisdom every day. – I mean, people are willing to pay for that opium. You know? – There’s a lot of money in drugs. – It’s like crack. – A lot of money in drugs, but okay, and I don’t know a lot about economics. – So, that’s what I’m saying, true. – But here’s what I’m gonna say. The reason I’m gonna go with fake and lame, and I’m probably wrong. – Billion? – Is $168 billion. Now, yes, it’s in today’s money. But I think that the people who are in that top 0.00001%, the Bezoses of the world, they’re so much richer than the richest people in the past ever were, that that much money, I don’t think anybody had that much money in today’s dollars back in the day, because the gap has gotten so big. – Yeah. – I’m going off rudimentary economic knowledge to guess. – And I’m going with my gut. – [Stevie] It’s real. – Yes. – Oh, okay. See, I know nothing. I know nothing. – And what, the opium trade, what would people do with all that opium? Would they just get high? (crew laughing) What was the point? – No. – Like I don’t… – Have you seen “Tombstone?” – I’d didn’t study it, but my kids studied it. They use it in stuff, right? – Have you seen “Tombstone?” People used it to, you know, escape and people were using it for legitimate pain relief but then they would get addicted to it, in the same way that people get addicted to it now. – [Stevie] It was, yeah, it was all to get high. Hermand, Hermand? Hermund? Witch burner Terguard. – Witch burner. – [Stevie] We’re just taking the witch burner from that. – Witch burner Terguard? – [Stevie] Was a Viking king who pillaged France and England during his reign, bringing back riches worth $2 billion in modern currency to his kingdom in Denmark. Obsessed with sacrifices, and the occult, Hermand spent his fortunes offering steep rewards to those who would bring him real life witches. He would then perform mass witch burnings at lavish carnival-style spectacles for his subjects to enjoy. – Well, that would be fun. It’d be fun. I gotta admit that, as somebody who’s got some Viking blood in them. A good old witch burning, there’s nothing quite like it. – Think of it from the perspective of the witch. – Oh, that’d be horrible. – Yeah, it’d be a little bit horrible. – Here’s why I don’t think this happened, because the Vikings didn’t, they weren’t really, they didn’t care so much about that witch stuff. That was the English who cared all about the, who cared about the witches. I think the Vikings kind of just were like, “You’re into you’re into witchcraft? We don’t care. I mean, we will take your crap from you and kill you, but it’s not because you’re a witch, it’s just because we want what you’ve got.” – I mean, in fact, when I watched that show, “Vikings” which is where I learn everything, from shows. – Yeah, right, yeah. The magic man they go see. – They were into all that stuff, but didn’t? They crucified the missionary. – Right. – That was who they wanted to kill. – Well, spoiler alert. – Yeah. – He was on the show for a few seasons. – Yeah. So that’s why… – They kill that guy. Look forward to that. – Yeah, that’s when I stopped. That was pretty visceral. – Before we get this answer. I mean, there’s a lot of, I mean, this is… – So yeah, I think it’s fake. – The way the tension has built, I love it. I’m gonna just let it stay right there ’cause I know you really want to know the answer to this, but I want to remind you that there’s, I think, there’s a little bit of room. There’s a little bit of room in your inbox for the Mythical Newsletter. (Link gasps) Let it in, just let it into your inbox. See how it feels. – Yeah. – If you want to receive product announcements, The Mythical Monthly and more, sign up at mythicalnewsletter.com. – We put a nice little note in there. – Yeah, we do. – A little sneak peek into stuff, mythicalnewsletter.com. We are both saying fake. – [Stevie] Correct, fake. No witch burner. Well, this is, he, you know. I’m sure there are witch burners. – But not Viking witch burners. – [Stevie] I’m not that sure. – Vikings or witch lovers. – [Stevie] Zhou Khan was ruler of the Mongol empire after Genghis Khan’s death. Khan was obsessed with opulence and possessed a fortune equaling $7 trillion in modern day currency before his death in 1247. (chuckles) He had a 10-foot bust of himself made out of diamonds and horse hinds, a piece that is now kept at the British museum. – Oh, really? – Now we’ve both been… – To the British Museum. – To the British museum independently. – Do you remember seeing this? The trillionaire? – I saw a pile of horse hides. – I kind of walked past that. – With like two diamonds for eyes. – I didn’t stop to look at that at all. – I was like, what is that, is that like? – There were so many things at the British Museum. – I thought they were covering something that they weren’t finished with in horse hides. It was just a pile with two diamonds for eyes. – Man, you should’ve stuck around. – This is true. I’ve seen it. – Trillion? I mean, I’m gonna go back to my logic that was wrong. And once again, say trillionaire? No. – Yeah. I’m saying, yeah. – [Stevie] Nah, it’s fake. – Horse hides and diamonds. – Fake. Now you know- – Should’ve known better. – Speaking of Genghis Khan though, you know that that dude, more people who live today are related to him than any other person in history or something. I don’t know how to say that in a way that makes sense. – I had heard that, but it was probably from you. So this is just repetitive. – No, like, look that fact up. Genghis Kahn is like, his seed was spread very wide. – Genghis Kahn seed spread, search that. – Related to everyone, yeah. An international group of geneticists studying Y chromosome data have found that nearly 8% of the men living in the region of the former Mongol empire, carry Y chromosomes that are nearly identical. This translates to 0.5% of the male population in the world, or roughly 16 million descendants living. He has 16 million descendants. – And that’s on geographic.com – And it says Genghis Khan was a prolific lover, DNA data implies. – Maybe he was just into genetics, firsthand. – He anticipated all this. He was like, “I wanna be the father of 16 million.” – [Stevie] It all comes down to this. Henry Cyril Paget. – Cyril Paget? – [Stevie] Paget? Paget. Fifth marquee of Anglesey, which I do have the pronunciation for, was an aristocrat (laughs). – Yeah, those aristocats will get you. – [Stevie] Dang it! Born in the late-19th century. After his father passed away, Henry received a yearly allowance of over 50 million pounds in today’s currency, spending his entire fortune on himself and going bankrupt in the process, Henry modified his car to spray patchouli from the exhaust pipe, and also converted a chapel at his family home into a theater where he would hire theater companies to come perform, and always made sure to write in a role for himself. – His car farted patchouli. – Man, this dude would kill it at a Fish concert. Can you imagine rolling up? (Link rumbling) Like, what is that dude? That dude is shooting patchouli out of his exhaust. (Link laughing) Everybody just be going and smoking the exhaust. (inhales) – You don’t smoke patchouli. – I know, but it’s a cologne, but I mean, you want to get as much as you can. So what is the, I don’t think this score is right. Am I down by one? – I do not like patchouli. It gives me a headache. – [Stevie] Twinkie Fingers, is this score correct? – [Twinkie] Um, yeah. – Okay. – They don’t care. Seems that only you care. – Oh, we’re tied? Oh, we’re tied. – Yeah, it all comes down to this. – This is real. The patchouli fart. – There’s no way he had patchouli come out of his exhaust of his car. Everything else is believable, but no, no, no, no, no. That is shookie. – [Stevie] This is real. (Link grunting) – No, it’s not. Prove it. – And you can probably get one of those today at like one of those auto parts places. I bet you can get one. – A patchouli pipe? – Patchouli pipe. Do you have the patchouli pipe? (upbeat music) – I’ll take a patchouli pipe on my Geo Prism. (Rhett laughing) My Geo Prism needs a patchouli pipe. (laughs) Congratulations, you win nothing. – Yeah. – [Link] Get Mythicality sent straight to your inbox. Sign up for the Mythical Newsletter at mythicalnewsletter.com.