(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) (dramatic whooshing) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. The Neal’s got a new dog, Jasper. Got a new brother. I wanted you to meet him, so we’re gonna introduce you in this Good Mythical More. – Read it, Jade. Check your voicemail. – [Voiceover] Hi, Mr. Link Neal. I’m here at CVS Pharmacy. I have your prolapsed anus medication. You haven’t come in for the past couple of days. I’m just calling to give you a checkup and just see how you’re doing. But we do have your medication here at the pharmacy. If you could please come in and pick that up right away. Thank you. – For my prolapse anus. – Prolapsed anus. (laughing) – I have a pro anus. It’s more in the lapsed zone. – Oh, gosh. – Yeah. – That’s awful. You need to go take care of that. – Look at this dog. He’s just gonna lay right here. Look at that. – (laughing) He’s so passive. You just laid him down. All right, let’s do it. Let’s do the same thing, Jade. – Jade, lay down. Yeah, so we adopted this guy a little over, let’s see. I mean, he’s been a part of the family for a number of weeks now and he’s gotten more comfortable, to the point where he’s not barking at every single person he sees and having a conniption. – He was barking at me this morning and I’m a little surprised that he is not freaking out yet. – [Stevie] I think he might just be very overwhelmed and his reaction is, oh, you like that? – He likes the woman with the lovely voice. – [Stevie] You like that? – He loves women. He absolutely loves Christy. He is attached to her. We’ve been dealing with his separation anxiety, like from the moment we adopted him. He was 11 months old when we adopted him and he was with the family that, they tell you stories and they’re a little sad, but not too sad. – They make all the stories up. – So it was a little bit of a sad story. – They make all the stories up. – And I talk all about Jasper in the latest episode of Ear Biscuits, so if you wanna hear the entire story of Jasper, who Christy also started calling him Jazzy. That just kind of came out and then I was like, oh, Jazzy. Jazzy Jeff. We can call him Jeff after Jeff Probst, host of Survivor. Greatest show on television, greatest host of all time. I love you, Jeff. So yeah, I was like, we can name him after DJ Jazzy Jeff, Jeff Probst, and Jasper, which is another J stone or gem word. So we got a Jade and and a Jasper. – But you do need to land on something so he knows what his name is. – He’s got three names. – Okay, he won’t be confused. – I also call him peanut butter Jade. So I got a Jade and a peanut butter Jade. Come on, get next to each other. Look at them. Look at them, Rhett. Look at them. Jade likes to make out with me, but Jasper doesn’t. Look at all that cuteness. It’s a peanut butter Jade and a regular Jade. – Well, maybe when he’s in this mood, maybe I could hold him. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, here. – Hey. – There you go. There you go. – It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m not gonna eat you. Maybe later. – He doesn’t really like guys that much, but he’s doing okay in this environment. – This is what we needed. We needed to overwhelm him. – So Stevie, what are we doing? Because we’re just gonna hang out with these doggies. – [Stevie] Yeah, we’re gonna talk about certain events and occasions and what the best snacks, or general food, would be to have at said events and occasions. – Okay, all right. What’s the first one? – [Stevie] I don’t mean to start with a downer here, but it’s written as round one, funeral. – So this is during the ceremony? – [Stevie] I don’t feel like that would be appropriate. – Well, I mean, some of the best food I’ve ever had has been around people dying. Like when people bring food over to somebody’s house when somebody dies. – [Stevie] Yeah, I think that’s what we’re talking. I don’t think we’re talking about standing next to the grave snacking on something. – I think we should talk about that. – [Stevie] Okay, let’s talk about that, then. – And maybe not like graveside service, but we’re talking about- – Haven’t seen a lot of eating at that point. – Like when you’re at a funeral home or at a church for the ceremony, and let’s just say it’s a longer ceremony and you’re like, my blood sugar might get low if I don’t take care of this right now. – [Stevie] Oh, so this is like purse snacks situation? – Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, but everybody’s got them. They’re just served in purses. Purse snacks time, everybody. It’s kind of the silver lining for somebody dying. Oh, there’s gonna be purse snacks. You just snatch a purse and snack with the worst. – I think Junior Mints would be good at a funeral because it’s like, they smell good. They give you mint breath, which is nothing nobody’s gonna complain about. – He looks scared. – [Stevie] Oh, see, okay. – He kind of looks scared constantly, so I don’t know if- – He likes to lay like this. – [Stevie] So, the writers were on the same page here. They have pitched just straight up during the service snacks, as well, and some reasoning. To prove that you’re not a sociopath who lacks the ability to cry, reach for a bag of extra spicy wasabi peas. That can get something going there. It might be a little violent, might be a little bit of- (groaning) Which you could feel at any time during a funeral. – And you could transfer that directly into a very big cry and then you seem like you care. – [Stevie] And then if you’re an attention-seeking narcissist, a big old bag of Doritos because Grandma’s time to shine has come and gone and it’s about you today. – (laughing) Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. All right. – [Stevie] So I think that everybody was on the same page with that one. Divorce court hearing, which is like- – Oh, yeah. I mean, we went from sad to sadder. I think it might even be sadder than the funeral. – Well, I think when you’re- – You’re back on Junior Mints? – Well, wait, until we get to gender reveal party. – Divorce court hearings are about negotiating for things and you kinda wanna seem like you’re really doing bad. So what kind of candy is like, I’m suffering right now? You’re negotiating for stuff, like I get the car, you get the house. – Yeah, but if it’s custody, though. If it’s child custody, you wanna look good. – [Stevie] Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Both. It’s good for kids. – And it’s sad to eat it outside. – [Stevie] Yeah. – Yes. – You just take a peanut butter. Are we talking aluminum foil wrapped? Are we talking in a sandwich bag? I think we’re talking to aluminum foil wrapped. It takes a while to open it. – [Stevie] What does that say? What does that choice say? – It says you take aluminum foil that’s been used to wrap something else up before, so you’re like, at this point, I’m reusing aluminum foil. – [Stevie] Okay. – I’m using the plastic zip-up bags for drugs and stuff. That’s probably not gonna get the kids. – What if we just held dogs in every More? We might get more viewers. This may be the answer. He’s asleep. – It’s amazing how both of your dogs will stay in your arms. Can you imagine what Barbara would be doing right now? (laughing in background) – Sometimes, Barbara does this, where she lays her head on you. Jade never did the lay head. – Barbara does that, but she’s got about. At home, she might go for a minute. Here, there’s too many people. There’s too many experiences, besides the one that she always has at home, which is with me. So she’s too overwhelmed and she wants to connect with everybody equally. – [Stevie] I think we’ve solved Jasper’s anxiety issues and you need to bring five cameras home with you. – Yeah. – [Stevie] And see about Morgan’s availability. – Yeah. We’ve been through a lot with the separation anxiety. Kinda to kind of work him out of it, so we’re making good progress. This is a milestone moment. And like I said, more details in the podcast, but what’s the gender reveal? – [Stevie] The writers have suggested. Sorry, what? – What were you saying? – [Stevie] Oh, the writers have suggested some divorce court hearing snacks, if you’d like to hear them. – Yeah. – [Stevie] Nature Valley granola bars so you can demonstrate how your marriage fell apart. (Link laughing) – Those things are crumbly, man. You can’t eat one of those without getting crumbles somewhere. – I know, it’s like, there’s more in the residue of the wrapper than you’ve consumed. – Yeah. – [Stevie] And this is nice. Twix bars because there’s two bars, so everyone gets it a bar. Everyone gets an equal share. – She gets the left Twix. I get the right Twix. Call it even. – [Stevie] Well, we’ll argue about that. – Yeah, turns out she gets 90% of the right Twix, as well. – Oh. – Yeah, she’s the reason you are everything you are. – It depends on what state you’re in. – [Stevie] Okay, it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Gender reveal party. – Gender reveal party. – I think you wanna eat something that’s gonna cause you, it’s gonna induce vomiting so you get to leave and not have to be there for when it happens. – You don’t wanna be there. – Just come on. – I think we want a bunch of wieners and then maybe some, what’s- – I think it’s pigs in blankets and I think that you’re like, okay, and you’re ready for either scenario. And if it’s a boy, you take the wiener out and everybody shakes it. And if it’s a girl, you take the wiener out and everybody picks up the empty blanket and shakes it. – Yes! That’s gross. And you pick it up and shake it. – You gotta pick it up. Everybody’s shaking the blankets! Must be a girl. – I did wanna ask. What are the vaginal snacks? – Well, it’s a pig in a blanket without a pig. – [Stevie] Well, you did wanna ask that and I saw that you did. – Just a blanket. – Pigless blanket. – Vaginal snacks. – The writers have suggested, and this just makes a lot of sense, marshmallows for when everything explodes and there’s a large fire. – To put it out, yeah. – Yeah, because there is- – [Stevie] No, not to put it out. To roast. (Rhett laughing) To put it out. – I was smoke with the fire with giant marshmallows. – [Stevie] To put it out. – (laughing) It’s like a fire extinguisher. Throw marshmallows on the fire! – [Stevie] Your adult son finally moved out of the house. – Oh, that’s. – So what are you eating? – You’re gonna eat something that doesn’t remind you of him. – I think you’re gonna want some sort of liquor. You gonna wanna get blitzed. You know? You’re gonna wanna celebrate. He’s old. He should’ve been out a long time ago. – Some really expensive liquor that you wouldn’t have shared with him. – Right. – Yeah, because he wouldn’t have appreciated it. – That’s the easy, on the nose. – Because he’s worthless and he doesn’t appreciate anything. – Can you sit up, Jazzy? – [Stevie] Yeah, that’s on the list. – Sit up, Jazzy. Show them how tall you are. – [Stevie] As well as lots and lots of edible underwear. I don’t know why you have lots and lots of edible underwear and you have been storing it up. – What this means is now that your adult son is gone, you can get freaky, make all kinds of noise. You can sound like animals in there and you can’t be embarrassed because you there’s no longer children in your house. – [Stevie] Oh, so it’s not sitting at the dinner table, just eating piles of edible underwear. – It’s using edible underwear as they were intended, which I still haven’t quite figured out, but we’ve got a stack ready to go for when our last kid moves out. – Let me have her because sometimes, I like to try to get them to sleep together. – Oh, I thought you were gonna say to get her to ride on the back like a little dog riding a big dog. – Sit, Jade, sit. Now, you guys need to spoon. You’re siblings, but like sibling spoon. – I’ve never seen anybody manhandle their pets in such a aggressive way. – Come on, jade. Lay down. Lay down. As you can see, basically, I just like to think of Jasper as a long-legged Jade. – Well, that kinda is what he is. – Yeah, if you sit here, Jade, let’s get a nice comparison. – You need to get them to get pictures together and they can do the profile thing. – I know, look this way, guys. – At Kmart. – Look at them. We have enjoyed having these dogs and the fact that they get along so well and that Jade will sleep with Lincoln and Jasper sleeps with us now. But sometimes, they both slept with us and, oh, sorry. – [Stevie] Did Jade start sleeping with Lincoln after you got Jasper or before? – No, that was before because we were having some, she was moving around a lot and waking us up. Jasper doesn’t do that. – What do you want? – There he goes. – Wow, you can’t do that, can you, Jade? – Jasper does a lot of things that Jade can’t do. Come here. – You could never do that. You’d just break if that happened. – And Jade hasn’t been too jealous. – No, she hasn’t been jealous at all in the little time that she’s been out here right now. Have you? Am I smushing you? – [Stevie] Adult softball league practice. – Adult softball league practice. You can eat anything. I mean, no offense, Jenna, but when it’s adults playing softball, you could eat ribs on the field. – Yeah, but while playing. I think you can play softball with a drumstick in your hand, just like a fried chicken drumstick. – Right. We don’t see it much different than corn hole. – [Stevie] Like instead of a bat situation? – With a beer, yeah. – Yeah, use a drumstick as a bat. I mean, the ball is soft. – [Stevie] Yeah, that checks out. All those things are on this list. – All you gotta do is, you just have to run in little bursts, you know? What’s in your nose that she’s wanting to get out? – My brain. – Yeah, she’s definitely trying to kill you. – [Stevie] Toga party. – I’ve never been to a toga party. – It’s gotta be something. Do you wear stuff on your togas at toga parties? – And is that actually a thing? – [Stevie] Depends on the toga party. – Because where are you gonna put these snacks? I guess it’s gotta be something that you can you can put in your butt crack. – Has anybody here been to a toga party? – A Twizzler. – Is it just Mythical? You been to one? (chattering in background) – [Stevie] Did you say, is it just Mythical? What does that mean? – Is it company sanctioned? (laughing in background) – [Stevie] I don’t remember ever going to a toga party. – Well, we should make that happen. You do that if you’re in a frat, right? Is that what it is? It’s a Greek life thing? – [Stevie] I think it’s just that age group is the prominent age group of toga parties. But I don’t think that there’s a frat specific mandate, but yes, there is the Greek thing. – Well, there’s no pockets. – Yeah, that’s what I said. One single Twizzler nestled in your butt crack. – Oh. – It’s like, that guy’s walking funny. He’s probably still got his Twizzler. (laughing) – Late in the evening. – He’ll break it out eventually. – Hold onto your Twizzler. – Just don’t eat the middle of the Twizzler. You can eat the ends. – What are their ideas? – [Stevie] This is where I thought you were going with the Twizzler, but you didn’t. Nerd Ropes because they could be useful to tie up your toga situation. – Yeah. Oh. – Gotta tie that toga up. – A Nerd Rope is good. A good Nerd Rope will make you happy. – [Stevie] There is a disclaimer that you don’t want to eat anything that could stain because the toga you’re wearing is most likely your only bed sheet, you know? – Right, right, right, right, right, right. – [Stevie] So that’s important. – So what if it’s already stained and you show up with a stain? – [Stevie] Well, then yeah, I feel like everything’s fair game. – Now, this dog has a wiener. Let me show it to you. That other dog over there doesn’t have one of these. Right there. – [Stevie] We don’t need to. That’s not. – I’m covering it up with a tail. – Look at it. – Cover it up with the tail. – It’s the most submissive thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Your daddy is showing your brother’s wiener to the people. – I’m not. I’m covering it up with his tail. – Your daddy is showing your brother’s Twizzler to everybody. – [Stevie] International squirrel day. – International squirrel day? – Keep the wiener closed. – I think you’ve gotta go with nuts. I mean, let’s be real here. You know? I think you’ve got to go with nuts, which incidentally, Jasper doesn’t have a lot to say about that. – Look at him. He’s just laying there. – He’s like an action figure that you just sort of articulate into a certain position and then he’s like, okay, is this how you want me to? Is this how you want me to be right now? – Yeah. In other words, exactly what I wanted in a dog. (Rhett laughing) Like seriously. You know? An opposable, pet-able love sponge. Lay down. Cover up your wiener. – I kind of hate it for him. (laughing) – He loves it. He loves the attention so much and they both hate the cat, but kind of like the cat. – Okay, there you go. Won’t you face the people? Face the people. – [Stevie] Is she going for your nose or your mouth? It appears your nose. – No, my experience with Jade, both everybody that I’ve ever seen her interact with, is she looks at the nose. She licks at my wife’s nose. She licks my nose. She licks my kid’s nose. – [Stevie] But she licked Link’s mouth. – Yeah, she looked my mouth. – Maybe it’s the beard, but she did the same thing to Jessie, so maybe it’s just the McLaughlin nose thing. – Close the wiener window. – [Stevie] She wants your hand. (gentle, upbeat music) – Okay, I’ll pet you. I’ll pet you. It’s gonna be okay. There’s enough attention to go around for everybody. Our grooming collection is growing! Shop the expanded Mythical grooming collection now at mythical.com.