(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) (drum booming) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Let’s talk dad jokes, shall we? – But first, quick, random disturbing fact for you, 15% of the air you breathe in a New York City Subway system is dead human skin. – Eh. At least it’s not living human skin- – A biologist from the University of Colorado analyzed air samples taken from several New York City Subway platforms and found that about 15% of it consisted of skin. – That’s a lot. – Most of it from heels and heads of riders. – Yeah, that’s gross. I mean- – Ugh! – I’m always struck with the scent of the New York City Subway. – Well listen, it’s not just the subway. So I was reading something recently and we’ve got a big bookshelf in the living room and we occasionally clean the top of it, but you can only see it from one spot when you’re upstairs looking down on it. – Okay. – And dust in your house is mostly dead human skin cells from the people who live in the house. That’s why it accumulates so much. – Okay. – And so when you just take your finger and run it over a dusty shelf, that’s dead person that’s on your finger. – Yeah, but it’s your people and that’s different than the subway. – It’s still nasty. – These are also our people, Mythical crew members. – Still disturbing. – They all have dads. We have ’em on the line. David, you’re in the room. David, what is your dad’s first name? I wanna know their first names ’cause we’re gonna match their signature dad joke to them but we need a little information. – [David] Oh, my dad’s first name is Russell. – [Both] Russell! – That’s ah, that’s a good dad name. – Hey, Kevin. – [Kevin] Hey, Link. – What’s your dad’s first name? – [Kevin] His name is John. – John. – John Kostelnik. – [Kevin] That’s right. – John. – John. Emily, you there? – [Emily] Yep. – And your daddy? – [Emily] Mike. – [Both] Mike. – All right. These are some good dad names. – Russell, John, Mike. – I need to be writing this down. I can’t, are we gonna write this? – I got it. Annaliese? – [Annaliese] My dad’s also named John. – Oh. – Oh gosh. – Two John’s. – With an H. – Russell, John, Mike, John. – Kevin, does your John have an H? – He does, yes. – Okay, most do. – Don’t be ashamed. – I believe about 84% – He does. – of Johns have an H. And Vee. – [Vee] Yes, my dad’s name is Byron. – Byron. – Byron. – Byron. – Byron. I don’t know enough Byrons. – I bet Byron’s got a good dad joke. All right now, because I out-manipulated my dad, – Yeah. – before we get into this game in getting to know our crew members’ dads, I need to get some dash, darn peace and quiet. – I knew when you said that about South Carolina, I was like, he loves South Carolina. (laughs) Like they go there all the time. I was like, oh man, he’s not gonna wanna talk trash about this. – I thought that he would talk trash, ’cause I thought that would be funny, but I didn’t know that. – Nah, he loves it man. – All right, so give him the opposite of peace and quiet. (person vomiting) (car horn beeping) (baby crying) – You know what the most – Okay. – annoying thing about that was? – Nothing. – It’s just picturing the guy making the vomit noise, and knowing that it was an act. – Vomit noise. – It made me want to punch that guy. – All right, here’s the first one. “My dad loves saying this. I’m the anchor in my family and I know that’s true because often the rest of the family would love to pick me up and throw me overboard. (Rhett laughs) He will always deliver it, no matter if the people listening have heard it before or not.” Yep. – Right, that’s a dad joke. “With the classic dad smirk at the end, you know the one.” All right, so… – I feel like this might be a dad that lives in a coastal city. – Okay, I don’t know who’s from a coastal place. Annaliese, were are you from? – [Annaliese] I’m from the South Bay in Southern California, around here. – The South Bay. – That’s what they call the Torrance, Redondo beach around there. – Okay, so there is a bay? – This is a dad familiar with nautical terms like anchor. – You know, let’s just start there. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – We only need a little bit to go off of. Wanna read this one? – “Whenever I say or do something my dad thinks is dumb, he’ll say, ‘Stop using your head as only a hat rack.’” Oh, okay. – Okay, does this need to be someone who we’ve seen wearing lots of hats? (crew members laugh) Probably not. – Well, I do think that if you got a hat on this joke hits harder. – Mm-hm, this is a dad who’s like in charge, kind of a judgy dad. So, you know, we want a crew member that really is maybe either rebellious or could be a rule follower, like on the extremes, because a dad who’s expressing disdain through the dad joke. – Well, David Hill is wearing a hat in this picture and he’s wearing a hat right there. – Okay. – I mean, you know what? David Hill has a hat on most of the time that I see him he’s a hat man. – Is your dad a judge? – [David] No, he’s a doctor. – He’s a doctor, okay. – Doctor, super-high expectations come with that. – Yep, yep, yep, yep. – Oh yeah, this is your dad all day, David. (crew members laugh) – Yeah, okay. – “My dad likes to say, ‘Is that the costume we’re going with?’ every time he sees my outfit for the day.” – Ah. – Hmm. – Okay, again, not being sexist to you, but this feels like the kind of thing that a dad would say to a daughter. – Mm-hmm, a little more critical of the outfit. Is that the costume we’re going with today? Emily, Emily, you know, you’ve got a shoe thing. – What’s up? – Like whenever we see you, I always look at your shoes because you’re always gonna have some interesting shoe choice. (Emily laughs) – What was that shoe she had on the other day? – She had a, you’ve got some Grinch. – [Emily] Yeah, Grinch Reeboks. – Grinch Reeboks. – Reebok Pumps. – Yeah. – So I think, literally, sometimes you go full costume with your shoes. – Yeah, this feels- – (laughs) Yeah, I think so, that’s true. – Yeah this feels kind of Emily to me. – So I think your dad might be saying this and it’s not sarcastic at all. – Right, yeah, and you’re like, yes, it is the costume we’re going with today. (Rhett laughs) (Emily laughs) – You know you’ve got, you know, maybe you were a theater kid, I don’t know. You’re definitely a performer. – [Emily] I think that that’s been made very clear. – Okay. – Uh-huh, uh-huh. “My entire life, anytime I’ve ever asked my dad more than one question in a conversation, rather than answering me, he’ll say, ‘Are you writing a book?’ To which I unenthusiastic respond, ‘Yes, dad, I’m writing a book.’ And then he says, ‘Then why don’t you kiss my ass and make it a love story?’” (Rhett laughs) – Wow. – Whoa, what? – Okay, so you’re, okay, so somebody’s dad (Rhett laughs) has got something to hide ’cause there’s a lot of defensiveness in this. You can’t ask him a question, without it turning into an ass kissing? – I don’t know if this is about defensiveness primarily as much as this is about wanting, this is about really having a good setup and a really good punchline. I mean, and a punchline that hits when you throw in the kiss my ass in there. – So really this is, who is the most inquisitive on our crew? Who would badger their dad with questions to the point where there there’s such a snarky response? – Ah. – I mean, they’re all smart enough to not ask us questions. They know we don’t have the answers. – Are you writing a book? Good questions. – I mean, I don’t, you- – Kevin, tell us something about your dad, just anything, it doesn’t matter. Just something about your dad that is not related in any way to any of these dad jokes, a quirk, a hobby, profession. – Well you remember the penis fairy? – Yeah, your dad’s strange. – Right. – Yep. – Yep. – He lied to you and said, what? I can’t… – He said, “If you pull down your pants in public the penis fairy will come and cut your penis off.” – Right. – Does that help you with this? – Yeah. – Okay. – Well, no, yeah. – I do remember completely now. – It helps, because then you wrote a book about the penis fairy and it’s a best seller. – I mean, that is a type of thing that if you’re gonna say that, you’re gonna say this. – Yeah, right, yeah. I think this is Kevin. This is, – Kiss my ass – this is John with an H. – and make it a love story. All right. Right now, Vee, this one’s coming at you, unless you can tell me something about your dad. that makes me think it’s not applicable, okay? – [Vee] Okay. – Are you in a car? – [Vee] I am sitting in the car in a parking lot, yes. – (laughs) So she’s.. – Okay. As long as you’re not moving. – Right. – Vee No, I’m not. – You got somewhere to be apparently. (crew members laugh) (Vee laughs) “My mom would sometimes ask my dad to help with the trash while he was sitting in front of the TV. My dad would say, ‘Not now, I’m looking at the television.’ My mom would reply, ‘But the television is off.’ (Rhett laughs) And dad would say, ‘Well, I’m still looking at it.’” – Well, aye, this one’s got (Link laughs) a little bit of a back and forth as well. – This is some sitcom banter here. – This is got a back and, yeah, this has got an Archie Bunker sought of feel to it. – I’m looking at the television, but the television’s off. – Well I’m still lookin’ at it. Ah, I mean, I don’t know. – Vee, give me something about your dad, – What’s your dad’s favorite television show? – that’s gonna take us off the trail. – Yeah, what’s your dad’s favorite TV show. – [Vee] Oh man. He really likes “The Wire”. I don’t know if you guys have seen that. – Oh yeah. – Oh yeah. – [Vee] Anything with like problem solving. He’s a retired police officer so he loves crime and mystery, so. – Ah, so he’s like grizzled cop who just stares at the television that’s off. (crew members laugh) – [Vee] Exactly. – Think about his long career. – Okay, so we might need to switch these around. So we’ve got the grizzled officer of the law. – Hmm, this could- – Is that the costume we’re going with? That’s gotta stay with Emily. I think that’s gotta stay with Kevin. Like the- – Hat rack. I don’t know. I kind of feel like, I kinda feel like this is good. I feel like what we did is good. – Okay, let’s stick with these. David Hill, starting with you. Does your dad- – Before we get that answer. – Oh yeah? – I just wanna- – Are you gonna promote something? – I wanna remind you because time is running out on you being able to get the Rhett & Link Sing Lionel vinyl. You need to sign up for Mythical Society 3rd Degree Membership quarterly or annual by June 30th in order to receive this thing. Go over to mythicalsociety.com for details. – Hmm, what’s going on there. – Okay. We right, David? – What’s the line, say it again. – [David] Err, you’re wrong. – Oh he gave us the buzzer. – Stop using your head as only a hat rack. I think that’s Vee. I think we switched that to the grizzled police officer. – Yeah, that makes sense to me, so were putting you with TV, looking at the TV. – [David] You’re correct. – Hey, all right! – Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. – Good switch. – We made the switch. All right, so would your dad actually watch a television that’s off, or is that just a saying to not have to do things? – [David] I’ve seen him do it a few times, but my mom, over the past couple of years, – Yeah. – he says he does it frequently, every now and then. He spaces it out. – But he does watch an off television. – As a joke, as a joke, yeah. – Just to get out of stuff. – Mm-hmm, yep. (Link laughs) – Just so he can say that line. – [David] Yeah. – Okay. – I’m looking at the television. This is the set up for my joke, hope you follow suit. (laughs) – Hope you try to get me to do something. – Okay, Kevin, what about John, are you writing a book? – [Kevin] That’s him? – Yeah! – Yeah. Penis to John. (crew members laugh) – [Kevin] I told him we were doing this episode and he said when it’s over to call him and let him know if anybody laughed at his joke. (crew members laugh) – I gotta say- – It’s a good joke. – I think this joke got the most laughs of any of these jokes. – [Kevin] Oh, well he is gonna be very happy to hear that. – It sounds like your dad’s got more than one joke up his sleeve. – [Kevin] He does but he’s been saying them his entire life. He always thinks they’re funny. (Rhett laughs) – He’s just, he’s ready for ’em. – [Kevin] Always. – All right, Emily, we feel so confident about this. Is that the costume we’re going with today, young lady? – [Emily] You are correct, that is. – Yeah! – Yes. (Emily laughs) – Hey, this was not easy, we’re doing good. – Yeah. – That’s pretty good, I’m impressed. You guys, I almost submitted one where if I wore hot rollers in my hair, my dad asked me how many stations it picks up. (laughs) That’s good. – He’s got his go to. – That was not too obvious but it seems like y’all know the deal. – We got your number. – We got it. (Emily laughs) – What percentage of the time that he says that is he critiquing your outfit versus a costume that you’re actually wearing? – [Emily] Oh no, he just says that like, anytime I dress up, like if I had a date in high school, he’d just kinda do some little jokey ribbing. He didn’t actually mean it as a critique. He would just be like, oh, so this is the costume we’re going with, huh? As if to say, you’re really dressing up for this boy. – Did you ever develop a comeback to that, if he said it all the time? – [Emily] Never, I’m not good at comebacks. (laughs) – Even if you see ’em coming a mile away. (Rhett laughs) – You’re like, huh, this is the 40th time. – Pretty much, I mean- – Next time he says this. – [Emily] I usually think of them about 10 minutes later. – Is that the costume you’re going with today? That’s what you say back. – Yet, you’re a writer on the show, so. (Emily laughs) – [Emily] Yeah. – Okay, Annaliese, anchor. – I’m the anchor in the family, and I know that’s true because often the rest of my family would love to pick me up and throw me overboard. – Nautical themes. – Into the bay. – Yeah. – [Annaliese] Yeah, you guys crushed it. – Yeah! – Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re dads ourselves. – [Annaliese] Your dad radar. – So- – Does your dad own a boat? – [Annaliese] No boats, but I was named after a boat. – Annaliese is a boat? – [Annaliese] Yeah, “The Annaliese”. So actually if we can put it out there that everyone should keep an eye out I’m trying to reconnect with it. (crew members laugh) – It’s lost? – I’ve just, my mom thought, before I was born, and that was my namesake but I’ve never found it. – How big is this boat? – [Annaliese] I don’t know. – We gotta give you- – Well, this is gonna be difficult. (crew members laugh) – Annaliese It’s called “The Annaliese”. – Are you saying that they owned a boat or saw a boat in passing that said it on the side and were like, that’d be a good name for a daughter. – [Annaliese] Yeah, that one. – Oh, okay, so they just saw a boat that was like pulled into a harbor. – [Annaliese] Last seen, Catalina Island. We got that. – Okay, Catalina Island. – Okay. – So, you know, it’s either a sailboat or a yacht of some sort, Annaliese. PSA, if you are out there on your- – This is not a promotion. – on your boat, called “The Annaliese” and you were in Catalina Island approximately, how many years ago? 25 years ago? – [Annaliese] 28. – 28 years ago. – Yep, pretty close. – Please reach out to Annaliese. – [Annaliese] That’d be great, thank you guys. – She needs closure, (laughs) (crew members laugh) obviously. – So Vee, after making a switch with David Hill, we’re correct about your grizzled, crime fighting father’s, stop using your head as only a hat rack, zinger. – [Vee] Yes, he used to tell me that after I had a really bad basketball game and I did something really stupid during the play, then he would pull me to the side and be like, stop using your head, it’s only a hat rack. – Right. – I’m like, what? We don’t even wear hats in basketball. (Rhett laughs) – Dad, this is a good baseball pun, but. – Stop using a pun that is not visually accurate, dad – Right. Yeah. – Exactly. – Yeah. – Was it effective? Was this an effective way to get you to think? – [Vee] No. – (Rhett laughs) Right, it usually isn’t. – [Vee] I found it very funny and I have to go back and ask him what the full quote was because apparently I never actually listened to what he was saying when he was yelling at me. – My dad would just yell during the game from the stands. – Yeah, he would. – And I would listen, and my coach would be like, during halftime, going, just, listen to me, not your dad. – ‘Cause he would be coaching. Very specific. – Yeah, he would be like, you gotta do this! Blah, blah, blah, there’d be a time out. He’d get very quiet and it’s just like, the dad is instructing his son right now, and his son is like, that’s right, I’m not listening, timeout, but I’ll listen to you. – You know what guys, thanks for sharing a little bit of your dad’s with us. It gives me hope as a father that, you know, if our kids turn out anywhere as good as any of you guys, you know, we’d be so proud of ’em. (upbeat music) – Aw. – Oh my god! – Yeah. (Link laughs) – Hey. – I completely agree with that. – [Link] To get the Rhett & Link Sing Lionel vinyl release joined 3rd Degree quarterly or annual by June 30th. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.