(rooster crowing) (lion roaring) (dramatic whooshing) – Welcome to Good Mythical More. Let’s analyze Disney dad’s hotness because somebody needs to. – First, we’ve got a random, disturbing fact. The FDA allows up to one rat hair in every 100 grams of peanut butter before it’s considered defective. – You’re not gonna ruin peanut butter for me. That would’ve already happened. So bring on the rat hairs. – I don’t mind. I don’t mind hair in general and rats are just squirrels without hair on their tails. No problem there. Which Disney dad is hotter? And we’re gonna get this down to the hottest Disney dad on the planet. – All right, so we’ll eliminate ones right now. We’ve got Zeus versus King Triton. – I’ll just go ahead and say right up front that Zeus is a lot hotter than King Triton. King Triton has some saggy pecs. He’s got like some very, very tight pecs. He’s got a tan, he’s got a well-groomed beard,. I mean, everything about this guy is hotter than that guy. – Isn’t he under the water? Anything sagging should be floating a little more under the water. – You would think so. That guy gets out of the water on the beach? Forget about it. – Oh, yeah. His beard is covering up his saggy sags. – Now, I know that this guy is from “Little Mermaid”, but who’s Zeus from? – “Hercules”. Hercules, Hercules. – He’s from the “Hercules” movie. I missed that one. – I think I’ve missed most of these. I don’t think I’ve seen “The Little Mermaid”. – You’ve got children. – I’ve seen parts of it, but like. – This one I paid attention to. I enjoyed that one. I missed “Hercules”. – Okay. Okay, Pixar’s fair game. We got dad from “Inside Out”. So this is the one about the feelings, right? – It’s an incredible movie. – That was a good movie. – You’ve seen this one. – Yeah, I’ve seen. – You watch Pixar. – I saw it once, yeah. I saw it in the theater. – He’s not hot. – I don’t remember the dad. – I don’t think he’s hot. – He’s got the scruff. He’s got the stash. – I think he kind of looks like a dork. – Well, he’s in business mode right now and I can’t remember what he does. What does he do? – He just dads. – Caitlin, are you are Disney help here? Because I know that you said that- – [Caitlin] Yeah, there’s cards on the back with information. – I don’t wanna read a card. Just tell me what he does. – [Caitlin] You’d be very surprised. He has so many fans, especially on Twitter. A lot of people are majorly simp over the dad from “Inside Out.” – Why, though? – He pushes her into a depression? (crew laughing) – [Caitlin] I mean, low key. – Yeah, that is kind of hot. – He’s hardworking, but a little oblivious? – Is this just a bad angle of him? – [Caitlin] No. – He obliviously pushes his daughter into a depression, but he’s got scruff. – [Stevie] I’m seeing some hair similarities here. I’m just gonna say it. – [Caitlin] Yeah, it’s kind of like, you kind of fit into the same sort of category, Link. – Oh, we’re just going all physicality here. I’m saying that there are other dimensions to what makes a man hot. – [Caitlin] Oh, true, true. He’s a good dad is just, he wasn’t paying a close enough attention when his daughter was a little sad. – [Stevie] He never watched “The Little Mermaid” with her and stuff. – [Caitlin] Yeah, definitely. – She learned to like the things that I like and then there’s plenty to watch. – I mean, I don’t know. I just feel like Zeus has got this one on lock. I just don’t feel like “Inside Out” dad is doing it. – I’m getting depressed. – He’s not doing anything for me. – All right, who else we got? – Okay, now it gets confusing. (laughing) – [Link] So Goofy. – Goofy’s a dad? Is there a Goofy Jr.? What is there? – [Caitlin] Famous Max. – Max? – [Caitlin] This is a great movie. You guys have to. – All right, okay, I’ll read it. – Max. – Father. Oh, my gosh. – Did you know Goofy had a son? – I didn’t know Goofy had a wiener. (crew laughing) Let’s go back there. – Well, you know what? Goofy, unlike Pluto, does wear pants, probably because he’s got a big, functional wiener. Here’s the thing about Goofy. – Let’s just say a functional wiener. – Who’s the mom? – Father of Max. – [Caitlin] We don’t know. – I mean, he is a dog. Sometimes they don’t know their partners. – Most notably in iconic film “A Goofy Movie”, Goofy’s personality fully lives up to his name, individually and as a father. But since Max is a teenager and wants to be cool, he wants to do whatever he can to separate himself from his dad’s goofy image. Despite this, Goofy remains supportive throughout. He and Max reached a new level of love and understanding for one another. Overall, very wholesome. – But we don’t know who the mom is. Maybe it was just a surrogate. Maybe he just wanted to be a single dad. – Maybe it was in vitro. Did he deliver? – We don’t know how. Again, he wears pants. We don’t know exactly how it works. – Read about Zeus. Now we gotta get into the backstory of Zeus. – Father of Hercules and practically every other Greek god, goddess, and demigod. – Okay. – Ruler of Olympics. Let Hercules get kidnapped, turned almost completely human, and stayed absent for a long time. Jovial, but stubborn. Sort of like that detached thing. I think that’s hot. – Barrel chested detachment? – That sorta uninvolved father thing. – [Caitlin] But here’s the thing. He’s super powerful, right? Like a literal ruler of a kingdom in the clouds let his newborn baby get kidnapped by some low-level demons. Hello? Like, come on. – Yeah, he’s fronting. He’s fronting. – You don’t think that’s hot? I mean, Goofy, though. What has Goofy got, except just some wholesome? – He’s fun-loving. – Father-son love. – He’s fun-loving there for his son. He’s a single father. That’s hot. – He’s always wearing white gloves, though. – I’m so over this guy. – You wanna kick Zeus to the curb, just so Goofy can have his moment in the sun, okay. Okay, Goofy’s hotter than Zeus. – No, he’s not. All right, fine. Let’s go back. Oh, Chief Tui Chief Tui. – So this from that Rock movie. – Moana, now I did see Moana. Didn’t he die? – Spoiler. – Or is the grandma who died and became the ocean or something? – Yeah, yeah, that’s it. She became the ocean. – [Caitlin] Yeah, I don’t think the dad dies. – That’s why I don’t swim anymore. – Okay. – Because I don’t want to swim in grandma. This is a great movie, also. – Good movie, yeah. – And you know what? One of the great things about following the Rock on social media, which I do enthusiastically. – Yeah? – Is occasionally, he’ll just up and sing his special Moana song on his social media, like with his daughter. I mean, it is, you can’t get enough of that. Once you’ve seen that. – How old is his daughter? Like little? – Little. – Chief Tui. – Like the cutest little girl you’ve ever seen. Father of Moana, chief of Polynesian island Motunui. Originally a very adventurous spirit, developed aquaphobia after losing a loved one out at sea on an adventure and forbade the village from voyaging. That’s not sexy at all. Fear is not sexy. – So he’s a helicopter dad. – This conflicts with Moana’s love for the ocean. Overall well-respected and caring, but can be headstrong when it comes to loved ones. Anybody who’s gonna try and make you scared of the ocean, even if it is grandma, that’s not hot. – So now you’re arguing for Goofy because look at those tats, though. – [Rhett] You put it in an awkward position. – Those tats are nice. – The same position that Goofy is in on his card. An awkward one. – I think that you’ve got, he’s got the big chest. – [Stevie] Assume the position. – He’s got the big belly. I think this is like a slimming design here. – [Rhett] I do like what that does for his love handles, though. – [Link] That’s kinda hot. – [Rhett] I might have to get that tattoo. – Yeah, it kinda turns them into something awesome. What does that on the belly button? That’s some sort of- – What is there on the belly button? Oh, it’s another tattoo. – Yeah, I love it. I think that’s hot, man. His whole left pectoral muscle is tattooed. – But he’s scared of the ocean. – He’s hot, man. – And he lives on an island. – You’re really limited what you can do on the ocean. On the land is where the man can really work his magic. – You think that’s. (crew laughing) Okay. – He’s hot, man. – Chief Tui. – You shamed me out of Goofy last round. Let’s get him out of here. – [Rhett] Just so you understand. – [Link] Roger, “101 Dalmatians”. – This guy has been kicked out of this and now we’re on a Roger versus Chief Tui. – Who is this? – Oh, that’s the original “101 Dalmatians”. – Dog dad to Pogo and eventually 101 total Dalmatians. Originally a bachelor songwriter married to his work until his dog Pongo tricks him into going on a walk to meet a lady Dalmatian, Perdita, and her owner, Anita. Perdita and Anita. I haven’t seen this. Fast forward, Roger and Anita get married and Pongo and Perdita have several puppies. Woo, it’s like he gets hot and heavy, huh? Several puppies. – I love somebody reading the plot to “101 Dalmatians” and being surprised by it. – After the puppies are kidnapped- – This is the most entertaining thing that’s happened today. – Pongo and Anita rescue them, along with 84 more, leaving the family with 101 Dalmatians. Can you imagine? That’s a stupid dog. They’re not a smart dog. – And they’re actually mean. I know that people don’t like it when you say that different breeds are meaner than other, but Dalmatians. They got a wild streak. My wife got bit on the butt by a Dalmatian. – A Dalmatian? – She was going to pick up a piece of furniture at this dude’s house. This is back in North Carolina and it was one of those guys that kind of like lived down a dirt road and kind of had his own land and situation. And she gets out of the car and a giant, not 101, just one, Dalmatians comes running towards her and she starts freaking out. The thing reaches out and just bites her on the butt. And then, she still took the furniture in with her, though. Went right through her jeans. – Oh. I’m sorry that happened. – I was like, did you get a discount? – Yeah, I thought when you heard about what happened, you called him on the phone and let him have it. – I did call him and chew him out. I was like, dude, you’re running a business where people come to your home to pick up the stuff you’ve made and you have a dog that attacks your customers? – Didn’t she have to go get treatment? – Yeah, you have to like, go get shots and stuff. – He should’ve paid for that with his life. You should have killed it. Should’ve gone over there and killed his dog and him. – I’m gonna leave you a horrible Yelp review. Beware of dog will be the title of the review. I hate Dalmatians. – I mean, at least pain in the ass would be a nice header. – Right, yeah. – This guy is a pipe smoking, songwriting dog lover. That’s pretty hot. I mean, except for the pipe smoking part. – You don’t know if he’s smoking it. He might just be one of those guys- – Chewing on it. He’s a pipe chewer. – Yeah, puts a pipe in his mouth and that’s the end of it. – You could do that in cartoons back in the day. You won’t see any dads smoking pipes anymore. – That’s my one complaint about Disney is that there’s no smoking anymore. – That’s it? – I’m just like, is this really gonna make kids smoke? – I think, and you know what? I like where this is headed. You with me? – Not really, but let’s move on to James from “Princess and the Frog”. – “Princess and the Frog”. I remember watching this with you at the beach. – When we set up the little projector, just me and you on the beach. Just me and you at the beach with a projector at night watching “Princess and the Frog”. (laughing) – It’s not the bayou, but it’ll do. – It was just last week. Link should remember all of these details. – No, we watched it with our kids at the beach house because there was a theater room. I think it was just when it hit DVD. I remember there’s some voodoo in this. There’s some spooky spooky. – Father of Tiana from “The Princess and the Frog”, a hardworking man that works long hours to provide for his family with the dream of opening a restaurant that Tiana shares, as well. Okay, restaurateur. Sexy already. – That’s cool, that’s cool. But the hours. There’s never any free time. Never any quality time. – And you get home and you smell like food. He always did what he could to never show his fatigue. – He was so tired. – In front of his daughter. Unfortunately, he lost his life. He’s not even alive anymore. – Okay, that’s not hot. – That’s not sexy. – The deadness of it all kind of undermines the hotness. – During World War I. Or as I used to say when I was a child, War War I. But Tiana carries his dream and work ethic, along with her in pursuit of their collective goal. So this is not the dead version of him. This is the live version of him. – Okay. – [Rhett] I mean, physicality alone, he’s much sexier than Roger. – [Link] Yeah, that’s true. – He’s not a smoker, which I mean just, you know. – Yeah, you’re right. – Just to kind of be of the times, I’m saying that smoking is not sexy. Don’t really believe it. And also, he’s a restaurateur, so I think he just completely takes this. – [Caitlin] He didn’t have a restaurant, just for clarification. That was just his dream. That’s what he was working towards. – He was a dreamer, even better. – You know what, it’s sexy to have a dream. Having a dream is sexier than the reality. – Speaking of sexy, if you wanna own our Rhett and Link sing vinyl. We don’t sing vinyl. How would you do that? Rhett and Link sing Lionel vinyl. All right, it’s your last chance to get that. You gotta join third degree quarterly or annual plan by June 30th in order to get that record over there. You can display it. – Yeah, you know you want it. – mythicalsociety.com. It all comes down to this. – Oh, okay. – Musafa. Mufasa. (Rhett laughing) – It all comes down to Musafa. – [Link] This is the father in “The Lion King”. – Who also dies, spoiler. – I have seen this. Good movie, good movie, good movie. – Isn’t he voiced by, originally, Liam Neeson? (crew laughing) – You’re talking about the Narnia lion. – James Earl Jones, yeah. – Liam Neeson. – So actually, it just got sexier for me because it went from Liam to James. – It’s a good voice, man. – Or do you say James Earl? When you refer to James Earl Jones, do you call him James Earl? – J.E.J. J.E.J., JEJ. – That’s a sexy lion. – Feared and respected leader. Due to some lack of support of the outer edges of the kingdom and extreme jealousy of his brother, Scar, he lost his life. Serves as counsel to Simba from the stars. Oh, that’s hot. When you can like, be in the stars. As he finds his way through growing up. Got that James Earl Jones voice. – Whereas, this guy’s name is James. – Oh, shoot. – So that’s, I don’t know. I think this might come down to human versus animal, at this point. You might just have to make that call and just so as not to be weird. – Yeah, let’s go with the human because. – Yeah, we don’t wanna get flagged. – Going with the hotness. – We’re saying that. But he doesn’t turn into a frog, does he? Because that gets weird. – No, he just dies. – Because he’s the dad. The frog is the one that she’s in love with. – I mean, the hottest Disney dad is the one from the dragon movie that just came out. So, yeah. Raya. (stammering) – But according to the choices that we had, the hottest Disney dad, James from “The Princess and the Frog”. We recommend enjoying this movie on a beach with a projector, just you and your best friend and a bottle of champagne. To get the Rhett and Link sing Lionel vinyl release, join third degree quarterly or annual by June 30th. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.