Boop, boop, boop, ba doop, be doop, be doop boo, boo, boo. Welcome to “Good Mythical More,” boy I got placards for stacks. Stacks of placards. Look at all these. Okay. With animals that we are going, that are extinct and we’re gonna figure out which ones should be brought back. How appropriate is it that we’re playing Ready, Pet, Go, on this animal themed “Good Mythical More.” Okay. This is when we take a look at your pet and we try to guess its name, okay? Yes. This is a- A real pet. Hashtag, Team Ready, Set, Go submission from Tay, which is probably Taylor Swift. I mean, she’s a big fan. Let’s see Tay’s, oh, he got a little bit of an underbite. I hope it’s an underbite. I think that’s from the bottom. Marvin. What? Is my guess, that’s not the answer. Oh. You said Marvin. Stevie’s getting in on this. I feel like Marvin. Marvin. Oh, man. Leroy. I shot Marvin in the face. And that’s what happened to his teeth. Boy, he needs some work, doesn’t he? But he’s livin’ it, he’s livin’ with it. I think he’s likin’ it. Marvin, Leroy, what do you think his name is? Mm, Snook, Snoosh- Snoosh? Snooter. Schooter. Snooter. What’s the reality? Hank. Oh, it’s just one of those, huh? That’s like very close to Marvin in my opinion. Yeah, you went with a human name for an animal. You did, but you went with a two syllable and I think it’s a strong one syllable. Hank looks like he’s living his best life. Okay. Did he come out that way? Or was that once he lost his baby teeth? Uh, I think it’s a breed thing. All right, so we have a siva- Therium. Therium. Give me a little bit about the sivatherium. This think is recently extinct, like 8,000 years ago. This thing was potentially one of the larges ruminants to ever live, stood close to 10 feet tall. Dang, it chews- I love- It’s own cud. How big these things are. That’s what ruminant means. It’s sitting over there like a cow. Yep, it’s an even-toed ungulate that chews the cud regurgitated from its rumen. I like the even toes. Stump. It makes me feel like the feet are complete versus the odd-toed quagga. Actually I don’t know if the quagga’s odd-toed. So what is this, a half zebra, half- So this is a subspecies of zebra, indigenous to South Africa, hunted to extinction in 1878. Last captive quagga died in 1883. They were around 8 feet long, 4 feet tall at the shoulders, so you know, basically zebra sized. So this, I mean, this thing is twice as tall. You gotta bring back the big one. I mean, this is kind of like, looks like sort of a dull zebra. Yeah, it’s like- It’s sad ’cause it happened recently, but… Listen, don’t half ass being a zebra. Right. Get it? Yep. Half a donkey. Well, you know, you can have one of those. A zonkey, I think Raine Wilson actually owns one. Yep. All right, so I agree, we’re keeping the sivatherium. We’re bringing back, oh, we’re gonna do this tournament style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, now. So now it’s up against the elephant bird. Tell me about that, Rhett. Okay, again, close to 10 feet tall. Wow, okay. And could weigh anywhere from 770 to 1,600 pounds. Now- That’s a big bird. Indigenous to Madagascar where they went extinct in the 1600s. Again, like, man- Big birds on islands didn’t stand a chance with people. We were gonna, we were gonna eat you- A 10-foot tall- You had no chance. Emu, it’s flightless. In Madagascar- I’d like to see this thing take a flight. Right. It doesn’t even look like it has wings. Closest modern relative is the kiwi bird in New Zealand. I think a kiwi bird is pretty small. It looks mean. It’s like- Oh, birds are just ruthless. Think about- An emu and- A 10 foot tall bird. And like a, it looks like a goose kind of. They’re dinosaurs. Geese are really mean. I get really scared whenever a goose stares me down. ‘Cause they’ll get you. A swan. But what is the criteria? It’ll break your bones. Are we not bringing back things that we’re scared of, ’cause that’s a very particular way to think about it. I think we should- Well, look at this short giraffe thing. I mean, that thing you could be friends with is what I’m saying. You could name that thing Marvin or Hank. I think it’s got to be- Marvin Hank. A combination of coolness, but also maybe we won’t die. Like there’s a way to contain this thing. This thing is, it’s just, it’s not fully formed. Like it’s, I don’t know. That’s why it died. It kind of has like a donkey quality, though. It looks stupid. This thing looks scary. Let’s keep the scary. Oh, so you’re going against what I thought you were saying you were going for. I thought you were saying, I thought Stevie was saying if it’s scary, you don’t bring it back because you’re scared. Exactly. I’m saying why would you- You’re saying the opposite. Yeah. Which is what I’m on page- Not wanna bring the donkey giraffe. Bring it back. We need some scarier animals in our lives. That’s fine. I will have a donkey giraffe. We also wanna be able to- Yeah, you can have it. But I also wanna be able to put it into, listen, I’m not a big believer in zoos, but I will say, I want a big open natural habitat for this thing, but I want us to be able to interact with it on some level. I can’t just release one of these things out into the wild, it wouldn’t be wise. You talking about this thing? Yeah, so I’m saying the criteria I’m using is it’s big, it’s dangerous, but also it can be in an exhibit. All right, so next we got the opabi- The opabinia. Opabinia. Opabania. It’s an extinct arthropod. Lived during the early Cambrian period, so this thing is w-w-way old. I mean, it’s got a bunch of bulbous eyeballs. This thing was 700 feet long. Actually it was only 7 centimeters. Cambrian, everything was very small back in the Cambrian period, so this would not be cool at all. It’d be like a little 7 centimeter thing with a bunch of eyes. I mean, it’s cool for a little bit. It looks like- Like a Sea Monkey. It kind of looks you could grab it and use it as like a back massager. Yeah, I’m sure that could work. Like grab it here and then you start rubbing this on your partner. Right, so that’s your criteria. How can we use this animal as a tool? You’re thinking like a human . This is too small, scary and deep in the ocean. Yeah, get rid of that thing. If it was just big scary and not in the ocean, that’s what always works. Now we’re talking saber-toothed tiger. Now being from the Los Angeles area, having been to the La Brea tar pit- Smile-a-don. We’re familiar with the saber-toothed tiger. Again, this thing- First of all, this is like, what is this? Like the rip off Pixar version of a saber-toothed tiger? Why don’t we get a real picture of a saber-toothed tiger? I want a real picture of saber-toothed tiger and I don’t want you do, there is no real picture, what? I’ve been to the museum. There’s lots of real pictures. Yeah, 10,000 years ago they had photography. And you know what they also had, paintings. Like I’d settle for a painting. The painting wouldn’t be that great. It would be a cave painting. What’s wrong with his eyes? Let me see. They’re a little too deep set. Ain’t nothing wrong with a deep set eye. I mean, they’re like both looking up like this. 120- It looks like he’s dead. This thing could be almost 1,000 pounds depending on the specific species. That’s very cool, though. Obviously super dangerous. These things would be really, really hard to contain, but boy, we could sell tickets. Man, think, again, I’m talking big open habitat, like the North Carolina Zoo, they have that big open thing. Pasture. Big pasture. They got pastures everywhere in North Carolina. I’m not talking cage- Release this thing into any pasture. Is that a nubby tail? Does it have a nubby tail? It does. It’s got like a bobcat thing happening. I think this one was just injured by the animator. I mean, think about how wide they have to open their mouth in order to get the end of the saber-tooth, you gotta start in the right way if you’re gonna bite. You know, you can’t just like lunge with a little bite. You gotta fully unhinge and bite. I think- I think it might be a problem. I don’t even think that’s how it works. I’ve never seen one in action. Like they keep their mouth shut and still bite you. I think that they come in with the saber teeth and they grab your throat and pull it out. And then- But their mouth has to be open to do that. Yeah, it’s open, but he doesn’t have to bite down on the bottom side. He has to grab you like a hook. Is this a factor in our decision? Yeah, I wanna see that happen to you. Yeah, me, too. So, saber-tooth, we’ll keep that. You happy, Stevie? I won’t call you Christy. You happy Christy? Yes. Christy’s watching, I know she’s happy. This is a- Flo, flo. Phoberomys. Pattersona. Pattersoni. This is a horrible name. All right, let’s go to the next one. Hold on, hold on. I mean, obviously- Hold on. Like some dude named Patterson discovered this thing and gave it a bad name. It’s like a beaver without a flappy tail. How big do you think this thing was. This is a- The size of a what, like name another animal that you think this is the size of. Well, this looks like a capybara. Yeah, it does. But it’s probably, I’d give this thing a good 6 feet. I think he could look me in the eyes. So you think it’s 6 feet tall? 6 feet tall. That’s probably about right, ’cause it’s the size of a bull. Wow. 10 feet long and weighed between 500 and 1,500 pounds. I just love the fact that everything was so big. Yeah, lots of room to get around. Oxygen or something, I don’t know how it works. Can you imagine passing by a field full of giant gerbil guinea pig beavers? Just walking around like it’s cute. Well, this is the distant relative of the modern guinea pig. I mean, this is- Probably make a good pet. I mean, I don’t know, guinea pigs will bite, right? I don’t- I’m leaning towards keeping this because I like the cute herd visualization. The cute herd, oh, so we’re getting a herd, we’re not just bringing one back? Yeah. You gotta bring two back and then they need to procreate. Well, if we brought both of these back, this one would eat that one. Right, we gotta get rid of one of them, so this one can survive. Okay, we’re gonna keep the phoberomys pattersoni. Soni. We do want to remind you about our podcast “Ear Biscuits.” Yeah, listen to it. On this latest episode- Listen to it. We’re gonna be talking about that experience that we had in our creative house. We’re gonna be talking about how we made it. So if you’re interested in that and the story behind that, listen to “Ear Biscuits” this week. It was lots of fun. Lots of fun, lots of fun. Liopleurodon. The liopleurodon is a large carnivorous marine reptile. This thing was 16 to 23 feet long. Weighed around 1 ton. This is gonna take, the construction on this tank is going to be out of this world. I don’t really believe- Was this in “Jurassic World?” Something like this was. Yeah, they had it in a tank. I think this was it, right? And it ate something. They made one of these. It ate something. It jumped out there. It ate maybe a person. I don’t believe- That was a good scene. In captive sea animals. This is especially, this is a tough thing to, you know what I’m talking about? You gotta put, like there’s no tank big enough for a sea animal. You can have like a prairie for like a horse or something, but once you start trying to like take this thing out of the ocean, I mean, it’s just gonna be sad. And I would feel bad releasing one of things into the ocean. You can’t just put it in the ocean, exactly. Right. So you can’t keep it captive, you can’t put it in the ocean. I think we need to bring it back, but then kill it and then display it. Okay, all right, so- So, you know what, we did bring it back- I didn’t think about that option. We had a second, we had second thoughts. We had to kill it, though, because we can’t let it go and we feel bad if we leave it inside of a tank, so we killed it. Here it is, kids, coming into the museum and enjoy it. I mean that thing is- Pretty good strategy. Scary. We’re leaning towards cute now. Right now we’re keeping the large guinea pig, which is a weird choice, I will say. We’re down to the classic woolly mammoth. Now… We didn’t do any seeding here. What happened to them bringing this back because people were talking- That was gonna happen. So confidently about bringing back the woolly mammoth. That’s right. I mean, what happened? They found the DNA in like a peat bog. But why don’t we have them? It’s just a hairy elephant. I want one of these back. I think what they realized is that, you know, it’s just a really warm elephant. Do we need to really work this hard? I mean, they’re 12 feet tall, so that’s big. Those tusks are just made for carrying firewood. See, look at me, the exploitative human thinking about how I can use this thing for my firewood carrying. Because of your wood stove at home. What do they use, what does the woolly mammoth use that for? Why do you have a mammoth? Well, I gotta keep the wood fire going. It may become a possibility within the next decade, the Woolly Mammoth Revival Project that started in 2015. They’ve been working since 2015. But I feel lied to because somebody was saying it was gonna happen sooner than then. I believe it was the Woolly Mammoth Revival Project that was claiming it was gonna happen earlier. Y’all need funding or something? They’re already working on that. A Kickstarter situation? So we can work on the large guinea pig. Yeah, we should work on the guinea pig. Okay, so I mean against all odds, the very large guinea pig is the only animal that we have chosen to bring back. And kill and then display. We brought back an animal that if we were to have a zoo with it there, kids wouldn’t even realize it was a- Right. Prehistoric animal. They’d be like oh, that’s cool, where’s that from? Yeah. I don’t know about South America. I don’t even think they would stop. They wouldn’t even stop. People would walk by. All this research goes into us bringing this back and the kids don’t even go to the exhibit. I mean, we could have had- The project is the way that we presented them. This thing, we could have had, think about how much money we could have made off of this exhibit. Even this thing stood a better chance. Stevie, Stevie, this is just, this is- Blame it on Stevie. Well, wait, I’m bringing- Let’s change it. Hank back. Well, let’s change it. Marvin. My favorite is the saber-toothed tiger. I want to bring that back and I wanna see it. Are you telling me this whole game was pointless? It was just something about the order and it being single elimination, there was no seeding that went into it. If you were thinking about doing an amusement park or a zoo that was gonna turn a profit, this is the choice. It’s gotta be a carnivore. People would come from miles around to see one of these. I mean- Do you think this is how scientists decide things? “Jurassic Park,” that was the whole point. It’s about the money. Jurassic, see, now we’re thinking. They didn’t bring back, they didn’t bring back any of this boring stuff. Like this one, maybe, a 10-foot tall bird. But you’ve seen it, you’ve seen an emu. It’s just like a big emu. It’s just like getting really close to an emu. And then like a hairy elephant. Been there, done that. And that’s gonna happen anyway. We don’t have to put our money into that. I’m giving the best name award to the quagga, but I’m gonna now start to call the saber-toothed twiger, twiger. Yeah, the saber-toothed twiger. Saber-toothed twiger. Please come and see the saber-toothed twiger. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m gonna all this the quagga. Yeah. And these are the two that we’re bringing back. ‘Cause you can, yeah, right. And then they’re gonna fight each other. But we’re releasing that one. One round will be in water, one round will be in the air on the land. In the air. Like slightly above the land. Like the way he walks. Yeah, they’re in jet packs. I would say the saber-toothed tiger is an air creature. He’s not like a mole. I don’t really understand, but you know what? I’m on board. Air fight, saber-toothed twiger versus the quagga and then the winner is the twiger. Celebrate my birthday. New purchases of select plans are available at a big discount through October 22nd. Details at mythicalsociety.com.