social etiquette it’s the unspoken rules that dictate what we do and don’t do when interacting with other people that we like or don’t like but are they founded and grounded in the right places let us be the judge and share it with you welcome to good mythical more but first we’re going to donate one thousand dollars to saint jude children’s research hospital st jude works to advance cures and means of prevention for pediatric catastrophic diseases through research and treatment and families never receive a bill from saint jude because all the families should worry about is helping their child live so please join us in giving to a wonderful organization we’ve been there we checked out the facilities memphis it’s awesome uh stew.org thank you for being your mythical best stevie you’re gonna hit us with some social etiquette oh boy am i uh how about this one always let your waiter come to you never yell or wave your hand at a waiter while dining make their job easier by being patient or politely get their attention when they pass by okay well you said that’s two different things yeah it’s lots of things how long has the waiter been gone and what do you need i’ve never first of all i’ve never waited tables so um but have you ever said garcon because that’s typically my go-to um but for the first part there have been a few times when i’ve gotten out of my seat in order to get someone tappy tappy but it was like i didn’t have to tappy tappy but i had to track your tracky downy downy is that when you when you had the check you needed the check and you’re ready to go you have some place to be i got a movie to catch yeah if it was like yeah if or if we ask for something that goes with something that the person is then waiting to eat it until they get that thing but then the person the person’s never come back there’s certain crucial moments where at times of the yes like a burger without a bun um but i don’t want right but where’s the bun i don’t want to to give the impression that i just get up and go after wait staff i don’t do that i would say 97 to 99 of the time i’ll just do the excuse me when they’re passing by and just hope that they will there may have been a handful of times i try i try really really hard to not be difficult to a waiter right because you just given your size you’re already i’m already intimidating um it’s like where are we going to put this thing and so i i just put it in the corner like even i mean i think i’m probably falling to the majority of people when even if you don’t like something and you get asked the question how is it you say it was great great right good because it’s just like why am i going to tell you what’s that going to happen what’s going to happen then i’m going to tell you i don’t like it you’re going to tell the chef the chef’s going to just hock a loogie spit right in it bring out something else nobody wins i hope that doesn’t really happen but yeah i don’t like i don’t like pushing people’s buttons who are who are waiting on you but stevie you said something that seemed like in conflict there you said don’t try to get their attention but then if you’re going to get their attention do it subtly it’s like well it says specifically never yell or wave your hand never wave your hand i’ve done the waving but you gotta wait i mean like we get their attention when they pass by and if they never if they’re somewhere else and they’re not coming towards you then that’s when i like i throw up the hand i don’t i i’ll throw up the hand about a double clap no clap i think there are times when you can throw up the hand but it’s like it’s the look on your face that like really matters don’t look mad i think we need to move that bar eager you could you can raise your hand but don’t raise it above your head don’t raise your elbow above your ear your elbow has to stay below your ear you can’t do this also i will say and your face has to be congenial congenial and apologetic almost like sorry about this but you forgot my bun there’s a real art to being a waiter because if you think about like you know you go out for brunch i know you love for brunch okay you want to hang out you want to like you you order drinks food you you want to let them know you’re going to continue you’re going to continue to order drinks so the bill’s going to be you know worth their while you want them to cater to you but also leave you alone at the same time so it’s a lot you’re asking a lot of somebody so i feel like you should be as polite as you possibly can dance yeah you know but i think i agree with a lifting of the hand that tiny little wave with an excuse sorry excuse me like type of thing apologetic face elbow below the ear so we disagree with this hard and fast rule of never raising her yeah um carney said that he has a hack i don’t know what that means yeah so i used to wait tables for a long time many years and something that’ll save like 10 minutes when you’re ready to go as long as you don’t feel like there’s many big mistakes just hand the waiter your card when they pass by you know what i mean you ever do that and then you don’t because so you don’t have to see the bill you’re saying i bet your bill it’s gonna be another 10 minutes before they come back pick up your your credit card run it again just hand him your card it saves you 10 minutes but then you’re trusting that the bill is correct you have that’s the one thing you have to trust that it’s correct i’ve never had a problem with that but have you noticed one of these one of the things i like to say that’s not insulting now as a waiter i would appreciate that it saves the waiter time wait a greater time yeah uh here’s my part one last trip have you noticed in a few a few restaurants and i thought this was going to be more widespread you know you tell my okay uh post world situation yeah uh but they give you like a qr code on the thing and you just pay with your phone like that’s soaking yeah why hasn’t that why isn’t that like that’s already started like at two restaurants virtually anywhere other than the us i believe well mostly if you’re in the uk they do that whole like come to the table stick your card inside i think it’s a but this is just like they can’t take off the check and then it’s just like oh pay with this thing you don’t have to download an app yes take the picture and then i was like this is it man this is the future i like i was like gone are the days of the whole credit card thing and then all of a sudden they the credit card thing came back i wonder if that’s like to give them assurances that you’ve actually paid when you leave because with the qr code how do they know that you actually paid they also have those like kiosks as you ask things that they sit on tables now yeah that’s the european thing yes do it pay at the table and they’ll know with that if you paid but like the qr code i think that’s probably why it went back it’s like they want somebody wasn’t fully comfortable with it well i think it was also people like i don’t know how to do this well yeah what how why did you do this to me you know what do you mean you know i go to brunch like what is that supposed to mean i don’t know [Music] i would hear it in your voice you know you just kind of have a brunch vibe yeah there’s a judginess that goes with it i mean yeah i mean it’s a joke he loves hot water he loves going he loves having hot water right this is my hot water go by the way it’s gone stevie’s favorite brunch beverage is hot water hot brunch water always cough or sneeze into your elbow i mean yes yeah yeah this is the i mean this is for for me what about what about the color that’s acceptable included but i think we’re talking is it this much better than this and i think that yes and this is again past 24 months or so i think everybody most people have kind of upgraded to the elbow now i have a tendency to go right under the elbow oh really it’s right on that it’s but it’s really not about stopping the sneeze it’s about stopping the idea of the sneaks and i think i still accomplish that because i see these out of my mouth i go really deep in there like in that crevice i just boom because i’m afraid i’m going to hurt myself if i sneeze out of my nose oh you should see me at brunch when i sneeze out of my mouth into my hot water right into the hot water the thing is is that in my my body thinks it sneezes out of its nose but my mind knows that i sneeze out of my mouth and so my body goes like this to hide the nose but then my mouth just lets it go i really need to talk to my body and get my mouth and my body to line up right right you might have to you might have to double bow it what’s what’s that guy doing hugging himself or blocking his neck this that’s an easy one we spent too much time on it yes it’s legit always hand write thank you notes they took the time to send the gift take the time to show you care this is this needs to die uh this is just this is just this is holding on by the world we live in it’s like just i think it’s gift dependent and i also think it’s relationship dependent i thought it was event dependent there’s only certain things where it’s implied that you give thank you notes and birthdays are not one of them yeah i agree with that it’s like you got you know like a bridal shower or a baby shower anything that where there’s an event with invitations i think it’s invitations plus gifts equals thank you notes yeah but yeah i guess so but if you’re invited to a birthday party well i i guess not a lot of people sent invites for birthday party but i agree with you i just wouldn’t i don’t know i feel like birthdays i mean you say thank you of course that’s the thing if you don’t say thank you you’re a jerk but do you need to write a handwritten thank you note i think it’s event and gift specific in relationships i don’t think what do you mean relationship expensive well sometimes whatever right handwritten notes and it’s really really appreciated and you’re like that is so freaking nice i want to thank you for your thank you note that is so thoughtful but no but then you fall into an endless thank you loop oh you don’t i’ve seen people just completely just die in a thank you luke i agree that there are people who have the gift of giving a thank you note but they’re not thanking for a gift they just have the gift of thanking people regardle just just just for like the relationship or for an action or something but that’s a different thing i just think the expectation of the think you know is something that we should do away with but forever and for always writing a thank you note will be something that is extremely meaningful and the less we do it on the reg the more meaningful it becomes so reserve the right to really have an impact basically what i’m saying is send the thank you notes to the people you like and just forget the rest of them i think here’s another rule i’ll put this out there what if it’s less about if if it’s an event with an invitation if you got a card and you brought a gift then you should receive a card as kind of like an acknowledgement maybe instead of that it’s about which crap i lost my train of thought give me a second give me a second you’ll get it oh you’re get you’re thanking people who you weren’t able to think of the event like at a wedding you don’t open your presents at the wedding you open them later so you need to acknowledge that you got it and you know that they gave it to you i think that’s a good reason to give a thank you note and acknowledgement hey i actually got that thing thanks wouldn’t you say though that if someone sent you like a nice little text that said hey thank you so much for coming yeah exactly even a wedding 95 is good because you could i think it’s i mean i don’t even read stuff i get in the mail anymore yeah but might what if it’s a what if it’s a automatic like it’s a texture thank you so much for the wonderful wedding gift and you know that that went out to like a list that you don’t yeah you can’t you should be like thank you so much for the set of crystal we will never use we’ll sit in the top drawer yeah it has to be specific um before we hear the next one yeah wow do i have you on the under your seat you know what hey stevie take a brunch break drink some hot water stevie you want a unicorn dreaming i i think you’d love it um you know what we we uh we recently went on trips uh to uh different places big sur and florida keys to be specific and we’re going to we’re going to talk all about those trips on our podcast ear biscuits yeah so uh head on over there to wherever you head to when you want to listen to a podcast because your biscuits is bound to be there always wait until everyone has been served to start eating um well i i do not practice what i preach if i were to preach that it’s time it’s hard for you yeah specifically my whole family like we’re we are everyone except my wife is very bad about immediately beginning to eat when you said something in front of them so i can’t i i have no ground to stand on so i can’t even pontificate about this actually let me ask you this i mean you do prepare meals for your family occasionally quite a bit well don’t touch your own horn i quite a bit do that sometimes even even a brunch that was i was going to ask you a question i didn’t want you to just brag well my specialty is hot water stevie hasn’t taken me up on my invite though uh how do you feel if you’re like making if you’re frying up your your signature chicken sandwiches yeah and you’re bringing them to the table and then you go away to get the sides that you’ve prepared and then you come back and everybody a few people are eating no impact on me if it’s if it’s an organized table where everybody’s at a seat which you also have a seat so it’s not floating it’s not no it’s not buffet i have this exact same situation in my recent memory bank so you didn’t hurt your feelings no i was happy to see they were they were eating and but then i was like how is it probably shouldn’t do that as the person i see what you’re getting at link because to me it’s less it’s less is everyone else going to start eating and more how gracious how i don’t want to say how grateful they are for the food because that seems like a little heavy-handed but like it you you know you spend time making a meal acknowledging that somebody worked hard to make it exactly and they’re also going to eat with you i mean i’m not saying i disagree i actually believe that the proper and respectful thing to do is to wait to eat i’m just saying i don’t wait to eat and i don’t mind when other people don’t wait to eat but i do agree that it is more respectful no no i’m saying that you don’t have to go all the way because i think the part that what you’re trying to imply is that well first of all we’re considering a situation where it’s like at home eating it could also be that you’re like out at a restaurant and you get okay okay okay this is a great one because it’s like somebody’s flounder isn’t coming yeah but why did you get the flounder they have to say guys go ahead and eat without me it’s they need to say that that’s my line but if you’re at home all i’m saying is you just need to acknowledge the person who you know who spent time making the money i see that your food isn’t here i really appreciate this and i’m and thank you is my opinion but also you could if i’m with my parents i wait if i’m with cassidy yeah a yeah yeah yeah it’s all about how how formal it is i remember one time we christy didn’t make anything but we had ordered chicken and uh we had fried chicken on the table i’ve heard this story and it’s when britain lived with us too but like he had just started living with us and like i put the chicken on the table and then everybody grabbed their piece of chicken and started eating and then christy got sat down at the table late because she was getting some stuff ready maybe a side or something and she was like you guys where’s it it’s not a chicken breast left it’s not i mean i was like well there’s chicken left it’s like there’s no chicken breasts like you guys took all the oh listen you guys took it you know when you’re a dress person i’m the one pulling everything together i mean i’m not really a breast person but i am a breast person when it comes to chicken and um if you if you eat all the breasts and i didn’t get i mean i’m totally appreciate how mad she got about this and she i wouldn’t say she got that mad but uh yeah britain was like should i live here it was great it was like hey we speak our mind at this table and we don’t eat until everybody’s at the table that was a rule you got to learn the laws of the land yeah right right yeah i think we need to reinstitute uh prayer before the meal to get the red link plushies join third degree quarterly or annual by december 31st visit mythicalsociety.com for details