Whoa, making an interesting sound today. Yeah, it’s about to fall apart. Welcome to Good Mythical More. How well do you know your scientific, periodic table of elements and how much do you care? Don’t answer that, you’re here, it’ll be fun. But first, let’s play “Who you talking about?” We read a comment that somebody made and we try to figure out if it was about me or him. Airek says- Airek. “100%, that is not how blank eats pickles. “He was just avoiding being memed.” Somebody biting the side of a pickle, apparently. You remember biting the side of a pickle? I remember. You wanna be memed? I remember biting the middle of a pickle, but I wasn’t trying to not be memed. I was just trying to be cute. I think it was Rhett, too. Ah-ha! Mm-hmm. Let’s see him not be memed. I like to eat my pickles right in the middle. Yep. With a gleam in your eye. Yeah, you can tell, right there, I’m trying not to be memed. ♪ Take a little bit ♪ ♪ That’s covered in chocolate ♪ Elements. Periodic or moronic? I’m gonna say that I’m gonna be moronic, even though I have the answers because I have to read this stuff. Leave that to us. Okay. Stevie. I will read this correctly. Yeah, I’m gonna give you an element, the name of an element. You’re gonna have to guess if it’s real or if we made it up and then, if it’s real, you’re gonna have to guess what its symbol is. Okay. Before you give us the first one, I just want to acknowledge, I believe that we have now officially set the world record for men who have held a ping pong paddle most times without playing ping pong. We did it, thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, yes, yes, yes, that’s us. It’s a record. And we’re not wasting paddles. It is the same paddle. Same paddle. Every time, I would hope, I would hope. But we do make a donation to the Ping Pong Global Association for every time that we do use a new paddle. We do, we do. All right. Californium. Californium. Here’s the one thing I’ll say, just as a little hint for y’all, who don’t subscribe to Periodic Table Magazine Monthly, they’re discovering new elements all the time now because they figured out how to like, manipulate stuff on a level that they can like, find new elements and they don’t even worry about updating the periodic table anymore. Really, there’s so many? They’re like finding new elements. Well, then this has given me pause. And so, I kind of feel like Californium. ♪ Knows how to party ♪ Could be one. Well, I’m gonna stick with the table that I know and say moronic. I’m gonna say it’s periodic, just based on that. It’s real. Mm. Dang. What’s its symbol? It’s not CA because that’s Calcium. CF. It’s CF, yeah. There you go. Yeah. It’s classified as an actinide. It was first produced by scientists working at the University of California, Berkeley in 1950. 1950. And it’s being used as a neutron source to identify gold and silver ores through a technique known as Neutron Activation. It’s also being used in devices known as neutron moisture gauges that are used to find water and oil bearing layers in oil wells. That’s how I figured out whether or not my skin is too oily, with a neutron, what did you call it? What’d she say? What’d you call it? Well, which one? Moisture gauge. Yeah, neutron moisture gauge. You know, this is a cool game. From Neutrogena. Because you know, “Breaking Bad” made the periodic table of elements cool again. Yeah. I didn’t watch that when it came out. I had to play catch up once people told me it was awesome. I mean, not that late, but not in real time or anything. I was thinking about our middle school musicals the other day, and I was like, how old are, those kids have to be full-blown adults now. Wow, they’re probably like 20. Yeah, ’cause that was like. Let’s make that again with them. That’s what I was thinking. And see how much worse it gets. Yeah. Livermorium. That’s not real. Livermore, yeah, just, it doesn’t roll off the tongue. The word liver. That word, liver. Like I can’t hear a scientist saying that. No. Well, it might be Livermordium, morium, because it’s real. Oh. What’s this one do? Do you wanna guess it’s symbol? It gives you more liver. LV? Yeah. I was gonna say LV. Classified as a post-transition metal, Livermorium is expected to be a solid at room temperature. In 2000, scientists working at the Joint Institute for Nuclear Research in Dubna, Russia, along with scientists from the US Department of Energy’s Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, oh, there you go, announced that the creation, announced the creation of Livermorium, since only a few- You’re losing me. Atoms of Livermorium have ever been produced, it currently has no uses. Okay now, I’m back. Outside of basic scientific research. It’s good for nothing. After all that, it’s good for nothing. But it is expected to be a solid at room temperature, but we haven’t made enough of it just to note that. Mm-hmm. Bormodium. Gormodium? Bor. Bormodium. Bormodium. Currently- That’s what you take if immodium doesn’t work. You know? If you’ve really got real bad diarrhea. If you’re really disinterested in something, I think is when you take it. Bor, Bor. I think this is- I think this is real. I think this is moronic. It’s fake. Ooh, well, tell us more about it. But if it were real, read us a few sentences. Neptunium. Neptunium. That’s, hmm. See, now mixing planets and elements is dangerous. You can’t have elements that aren’t from Earth. That’s a different table. Yeah. That’s the Intergalactic Table of Elements. Neptunium, we don’t, we’ve never collected anything from Neptune. Neptunium. So why would they call something Neptunium? Hmm. Maybe it’s just under the sea. I’m saying yes. I’m saying not. This is King Neptune. Moronic. It’s real. King Neptune’s toenails. That’s real. Symbol? NP. Yeah. Wow, Link guesses nipples. Yeah. Well, if you tell us a new element, we can tell you what you need to call it. Right, call us up. Neptunium was first produced by Edwin M. McMillan and Philip H. Abelson working at the University of California, Berkeley, in 1940. Berkeley’s been making elements. Yeah, named for the planet, Neptune, it is visionable and used in fast neutron reactors and nuclear weapons. So they’re making an element to then make a fission reaction? That’s pretty cool man, up at Berkeley. We should go up there sometime. And? See if we can get in. I don’t think we could hang. I mean, of course we can send them this episode, you know, send them all these like science experiments that we crack without instructions, they’d be like, Oh, let’s have a residency. Or maybe we give him an honorary PhD, do you see the Beaker Boys? Give ’em a little tenure. Dangle a little tenure for my Beaker Boys. Beaker Boys do the graduation address. You know what? But we won’t go, ’cause they’re too liberal. Too liberal up there in Berkeley. That’s right. They brainwashing those kids up there. Oh my goodness, they’re creating- They got an agenda up there. They’re creating liberals left and right up there. Mm-hmm. Dividium. Dividium. Duvidium? Dividium. Dividium? So it divides. That’s fake. Elements are not divisible. That’s what makes them an element, right? And if you do divide them, you create explosions. But don’t take our word for it. It’s fake, but it is a real techno-metal band from the UK. Dividium? And they’re here right now. Welcome, Dividium. Hi, guys. I mean, think about the trouble that y’all would have to go through for that joke, to bring out a band only to make an appearance in the middle of a “Good Mythical More.” And we don’t even hear their music. They just come out like- They just stand. And they’re not like- They get back on a plane. They’re like in just like t-shirts and jeans. Yeah. Where are they from? They don’t even speak the language. They’re from the UK. They’re from the UK. Exactly. They don’t even speak the language. They don’t speak American. Palladium. That’s real. See, that’s an example of a joke that they wouldn’t teach you at Berkeley. In what class? That the Brits don’t speak English. The, oh, oh, ’cause it’s too liberal. Yeah, that’s a- At the Berkeley joke writing school? Right. You don’t make can’t speak- I think it’s Berkeley- The language jokes- College Of Joke Writing. Link? Where? Palladium. Palladium. Oh, definitely, definitely. I think that’s just actually just like a stadium somewhere. It’s real. Huh. Symbol? P, no, it’s not PL. It’s PD. PL. Why are you so good at that? PD? Because PL is something else already. It’s PD. Yeah. Palladium was discovered by William Hyde Wollaston, an English chemist in 1803. Palladium was named after the asteroid Pallas, which, you know, the people who are gonna have a field day in the comments who are like, I know all my elements and who invented them, and where- All the Berkeley professors who tune into this are gonna be like- They’re gonna get that like satisfaction. Steve’s is getting a lot of things wrong. Yeah. Steve it’s not Wollaston, it’s Wollaston. The only people listening to what you’re saying are the ones that aren’t saying that you’re wrong. Everyone else is like, ah. That’s true. Have you walked around out there at Berkeley? Have you been to Berkeley? I don’t think I have. It just has that, like, what I imagine like a prestigious school in the Northeast, which I’ve also never been to, would have. Like it has that kind of campus, and then like- Is it in San Francisco? It’s in Berkeley. Oh. Yeah, but so, Berkeley is its own- Where is that? Town outside of San Francisco. Ha! But it’s not, don’t think of it like a suburb, it’s its own thing, and it has like. Hold on, didn’t we go to UC Berk, no, we went to UC Davis for the. It’s different than UC Davis. Where’s UC Davis? Davis. But, it just has this feel like, I’ve always had this secret desire other than being professional ping pong player, and they call it table tennis, to be a professor at a place, I don’t think they would let me into Berkeley, but just a professor that just kind of like walks around a beautiful campus and then goes to the coffee shop. You know, that feels like- But your dad. It feels like the life. Your dad did that, so you should see, you saw the unglamorous side of it. Unglamorous? He loved his job. I mean, you ever seen your dad take a dump? Be honest? Ever seen my dad take a dump? I don’t understand the relevance of this question, but yeah, who hasn’t seen their dad take a dump? I mean, there’s times. I’m sorry, yeah. No, that’s gonna be a no for me. I have not. See? Seen her dad- Seen my dad take a dump. Right. I mean, maybe I had to like bring him toilet paper or something. And that didn’t change your view of like being a professor? Do you think he took a dump more often because he was a professor? My dad wasn’t a professor, and isn’t, so. It’s that campus coffee. You ever seen him take a dump? I’m saying you’ve seen, but really I’m saying you’ve seen like the seedy side of being a professor. Actually- It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. My dad seemed super fulfilled. 40 years teaching, man, he seems super fulfilled. Like, and I was like, you know what? I think I should’ve just been a professor. You know what happens when you get really fulfilled? You gotta take a dump. Yeah, right, that’s right. Okay, but that’s good to know. I mean, your dad did something and you’re like, man, you know what? I wish, he was happy. Yeah, but I wanna be, I don’t- He’s still alive. He’s retired. I wanna be at like Berkeley or like, you know, I wanna be like a prestigious school. He was at Pepperdine for a while. Yeah, he was. Right there on the coast. Yeah. If you wanna hear more about our personal lives, listen to our podcast, ’cause we can’t keep talking about dads dumping here. I mean, it just wouldn’t be appropriate. But over there on “Ear Biscuits”? It’s how we start every episode. Dedicate an hour to that. Travertinium. Travertinium? It’s real. Yeah, I feel that. You think that Travertinium is real is what you’re saying? Oh, Travertinium? It’s discovered by our very own Travis, the waiter. That’s moronic. Okay. Yeah, that’s fake. Travertinium. Antimony. I’ve heard of that. Antimony? I know that’s a thing. Antimony is a legal concept. Alimony. I know that because, but antimony is when it’s between aunts. Antimony. Antimony is when you have to pay your aunt. It could be Antimony, I don’t know. You can say Antimony. Because your uncle left her. So you have to support your aunt? Yep. Antimony. But only in Maine. Antimainey? You’re guessing fake and real? Uh-huh. It is real. Yes. I’ve heard of it. And I, okay, if you guess the symbol for this one, I’m gonna to be blown away, nobody show them the symbol for this one. A-Y. No. No. Antimony. A-O. A-I. A-O. A-M. It’s two letters that are not even in the word. Oh, so it’s like, gold, AU. Okay, S. Yes! Q. No? No. S-B. What? Who showed it to you? Hold on! You’re kidding me? You know what? I’m freaking psychic. Oh my God. I’m telling you guys. Hold on, reverse that. I keep trying to tell you guys, no one showed me. I’ve never heard of this thing before. SB, BS, I’m not buying it. Okay, so you think I’m walking around with secret knowledge about what the letters, I picked two letters out of 26. What are the chances that two letters out of 26? No, but in the right order. What are the chances, he says. I’m… Say it again, man- Hesitantly blown away, ’cause I feel like this could be like an Onion situation again, but. What are the chances? There you go. Say it again. They’re slim. Say it again, it feels good. Man, you should be impressed with that. You should just celebrate what just happened. It’s pretty impressive. I’m jealous. I’m too jealous to celebrate. It was a complete guess, but again, I think I’m tuned in to some frequency, guys. I gotta go, you know what? I need to go see a psychic. That’s what I need to do. But you are the psychic. No, but I need a psychic to tell me if I’m a psychic. That’s not what psychics do. Psychics tell you they’re psychic. I need a psychic determiner. Yeah, different career, pal. Oh, well, where do you get that? Berkeley? A psychic certifier. It’s kinda like a home inspector. I think I’ll go to the guys at Berkeley. Definitely Berkeley. To get the Rhett and Link plushies, join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by December 31st. 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