Welcome to Good Mythical More. You submitted your beefs to us, and we’re gonna analyze them and see if they’re legit. But first, we’re going to donate $1,000 to the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund to aid in their mission to fight for racial justice through litigation, advocacy, and public education. LDF seeks structural changes to expand democracy, eliminate disparities, and achieve racial justice in a society that fulfills the promise of equality for all Americans. Please join us in giving at naacpldf.org. Thank you for being your mythical best. Thank you for hanging out with us today. We got some, you got a greasy spot, huh? I mean, I’m finding grease on me, around me. It’s already in me, I know that. I can’t clean that out. There’s only one way to clean that out, time. Time will tell. All right, so we got these… Guess I could eat some saw dust. Cards here. Could you do that? Can you eat saw dust to absorb the grease? In manageable doses, I’m sure. Like you put saw dust in a capsule. Kind of like a charcoal capsule? Yeah. Read a beef to me. Read a beef, read a beef. Read a beef and weep. Okay, from our very own Kalyn. All right, some of these are from mythical beasts, might be you, but we’re starting with writer Kalyn. New York City. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hot beef, hot beef. Kalyn beefing with the whole city? Potentially my favorite city in the United States. Whoa, she’s got in trouble with it. “I’ve been working on a dating app data collection project for over a year. It involves putting my profile in different areas and seeing how responses to a certain prompt change per location.” What? Kalyn, you’re just… Where you at, back there? She’s right here. I’m right here. Oh, you’re right there. Link can’t, he has no peripheral vision because of his glasses. What is this prompt? This is something you just came up with? Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing scary, I promise. Unless, okay. It’s nothing scary. “One side effect I noticed is how the amount of likes my profile gets will change from place to place. On average, I’d say 25 to 40 plus likes after being in a place for a bit, but only in NYC did I get just two likes after weeks. Now I usually don’t care about numbers because that’s not the data I’m tracking, but why is it that in one of the most diverse places in the continental US, no one is trying to get to know me, huh? I’m not ugly or even mean, an anomaly, truly.” “Even purely statistically, it doesn’t make sense. So now I have a beef with the entire city. If I’m ever there again, it’s on sight.” Uh oh! This is how I feel about Rochester, New York. Kalyn. Where are you getting the responses that are… Where are you most popular? Oh, I was actually the most popular in Hawaii. So if anyone likes me from Honolulu and you’re watching, what’s popping? Yeah, no it was just like, I was there for weeks and like literally two people, because I don’t need likes for validation, I know what I got going on, but like. There was two people and they didn’t even respond to the prompts, so I couldn’t even use the data that I was there for. And so again, New York is just not giving, it’s not giving what it used to give. I mean, but you know what? You’re mixing dating and data. This is a dangerous thing. It’s not even about anything romantic. That’s not what I’m tracking. I think what you might need to do to find out if this is New York’s problem or your problem is you need to get… I’m staying out of this. You need to get some other Mythical crew members to participate in your experiment. My theory personally is that this is a New York City thing, because first of all, people in New York city, they tend to be a little bit cynical. And also they’re so close to so many people all the time and maybe dating apps are less popular in general in New York City, I don’t know because you’re walking, you’re seeing people all the time. But there’s like millions of people there. I don’t quite understand, what is the main question that you’re trying to answer in your project? I’m keeping it a secret, but basically it’s just like… No, no, if you’re keeping it a secret. There’s a prompt on my profile, and like you can like and respond to it, and I’m tracking the responses to see how they change per state. So people who are on a dating app to find dates, discover someone trying to get them to fill out a survey. It’s just one question. It’s just a question, man. But it’s like for them to like, try and get to know me, they answer, it’s a conversation opener. Okay. I’m interested in your project. I’ll talk about it more later. She’ll talk about it more later. I’m intrigued. Okay, not a Mythical crew member, but a mythical beast @theguzzle. Lady bugs. “I have a beef with lady bugs. When I was a kid, I stayed with my family at a lady bug infested house to be there for my sister’s wedding. I woke up the next morning and went to make the bed only to realize I was sleeping amongst hundreds of lady bugs below the covers.” Below the covers? Below the covers, not cute. You don’t want bugs below the covers, even if it’s the cutest bug in existence. We had a lady bug infestation in my house growing up. Really? The yellow house? Well, it was yellow at first then we put the gray vinyl siding on there. But was it yellow then? It was yellow underneath the gray vinyl siding. Okay. It was gray, man. It was gray and with the maroon, my dad really thought about this, okay? So just, I mean, cut him some slack. So this was later, this was not when it was yellow. We had two things that happened to us in that house insect related. Do you remember what we would call the dirt daubers? Yeah. Which were basically like a wasp. Yeah. They would infest the attic, and then when we would turn on the attic fan, somehow they would find a way into the house. And so all throughout my entire life growing up in North Carolina, in that house, which I was in a house the whole time, I would wake up and there would be wasps, like all the time I was killing wasps. That was a weird way to like grow up, knowing that there might be a wasp in your bedroom. How bad was the lady bug? Within one year, one year only, lady bugs. And there would be like, you go in the bathroom and there’d be like 12, 12 lady bugs. And I thought it was one of the coolest things ever, especially as a child that had been exposed to so many wasps. Yeah, It’s a lot better than dirt daubers. Yeah, so I would like, I’d pick them up and sometimes I would take them out and let them fly away. Sometimes I just let them be in the bathroom until they died. You know. Did you name any of them? Lady. I mean, this is one of the few things that I didn’t know about you. Wow. I just learned something. I should’ve saved it. After all these years, I just learned something about you. My lady bug infestation. You had a lady bug problem one year and dirt dauber many other years. Taylor. And he’s right there. I know that you can’t see, but. Well, you were over there. I was over there. You have a beef with Heinz ketchup? Instead of letting him talk, I’m just going to read what he’s already written. Yeah. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you grew up in Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh is a city that is very passionate about its successful products, most notably steel, Jeff Goldblum, and Heinz ketchup. “When I was a child,” and I’m speaking as Taylor now, “Heinz held a contest asking for kids to write in their ideas for new products. I wrote a very elaborate pitch on why Heinz should create colored ketchup in bottles that allowed kids to draw with it. I even drew up a sketch and sent it in.” I see where this is going. “Months went by and I heard zilch from the company and then one day, green and purple ketchup appeared on the shelves across America. To this day, people reminisce on this since discontinued product, and I have yet to see a dime for it. There’s even a Heinz museum,” I told you they were passionate, “in Pittsburgh and there’s an entire floor dedicated to the hysteria that was colored ketchup. My name, nowhere in sight.” Taylor, you seem upset about this. I’m really fired up right now. Did I do you justice? Yeah, you did. I was mouthing it along with you. Dang it, Heinz. I hate you, I’m Taylor. I edit stuff, so watch out. We only hate you through Taylor though, because if you want to do like a sponsorship or anything like that, like Rhett and Link, we can still love you. We can still love you, Heinz. So you were the only… They can make it right. Heinz can make it right by sponsoring an episode of Good Mythical Morning. I think you can make it right by paying us for Taylor’s… Yep, yep. That might create some legal ramifications. Heinz, you can make it right by paying us to apologize on your behalf to Taylor. You know, a gain that, would you accept that? Yeah, but then you might get a prompt that says I have a beef with GMM. Right. So I don’t know. Yeah. But you’ve got the power of editing. Yes, that’s true. A game that I recently played. I get it, I get it. It’s not really much of a game. This is valid. Name other ketchup brands other than Heinz. Hunt and then what happens after that? The store brands, is there a third brand of ketchup? Is there another brand of ketchup? Heinz, Hunts? Well, I mean, what do you use? You don’t eat Heinz. Oh, well, no, listen, Pittsburghers are Pittsburghers, like I’m going to eat Heinz. You hate it every single time. But yeah, yeah it’s a little spiteful every time I eat it. French’s, Del Monte. Del Monte, okay. Gross. All right, all right. All right, Malcolm Kyle. No, Malka Kyle. All right, let’s just go with Kyle. Craisins, Craisins. Craisins. “I have eternal beef with Craisins.” So these are dried cranberries? “First of all, who decided to make raisins a thing? Like let’s make a pimple out of a perfectly fine grape, As it is, someone came along and said, “Let’s make cranberry pimples too.” WTF?” I don’t, pimples? I don’t follow. I kinda like Craisins. They got a little bit of a pop to them and a little bit of tang. Mhm, okay. I don’t know about this one, Malk. Oh, that’s it? That’s it, man. They just don’t like Craisins. I wonder how he deals with apricots or prunes. It might be a dried fruit thing. Dried apricot. And so far the only things that Malk Kyle doesn’t like that I know of is dried fruit. Yeah, he didn’t really give an actual reason. There was no passion. He was talking and then the connection to pimples, I didn’t quite follow, as I said. @cyberberry, your beef is with Stuart Little. “Why would they pick a mouse?” Who’s they? In the movie. The movie? They adopt a mouse from an orphanage. Oh. Where there’s actual kids. There’s actual kids, but they adopted the mouse. Oh, this is… Mice are much easier, much easier to take care of, much cheaper, and you might get seven years or so and that’s it. That’s the that’s the extent of the responsibility. So I’ve just thought of three really good reasons. And you can like make a whole movie about them. Right. You adopt some and then you can have a whole movie franchise. The only mouse movie that I’m willing to entertain is Fieval, American Tail. Yeah. I cried so hard at that. You and all those dirt daubers were just like, “It’ll be okay.” I had wasps and lady bugs all over me and I didn’t even care. I was just sitting there just bawling. Not valid this beef, @cyberberry. Okay. Oh, this is interesting from @carrieisawesome. You are, Carrie. “I have a beef with people answering a question beginning with ‘yeah, no.’” “Or vice versa, it can’t be both.” The funny thing is is I understand this beef, but I end up saying yeah, no a lot and it always seems to make sense to me and the person I’m saying it to. “Yeah, no.” I have this, it reminds me of a beef that I have with NPR correspondents. Uh oh, here we go. There’s like, if there’s a main host of a show and then they have a correspondent that’s like coming in and like reporting on something and they ask him a question, and then the first thing out of the mouth of the reporter is one of a few words like, “Yeah.” and then they’ll answer the question. Or, “Right.” and then they’ll answer the question. I don’t know what it is, but I pick up on it every time and it really bothers me that someone interjects a word that is not appropriate as the beginning of the answer to the question. Right. I can’t stand that either. They say right a lot too. And I’m trying to understand what it is so that I can like let it go. Of course. And I think it’s. Is that what you’re talking about? I think it’s that, in other settings when reporters need to talk, reporters lots of times, they have to get in on the conversation. And like there has to be a tag at the beginning of what they’re saying in order basically to say, “I’m going to start talking now,” or “I know you’ve asked me a question and I’m supposed to start talking now, but I haven’t formulated my answer, so I’m going to say a little something.” Exactly. Just like that. It drives me crazy, and now if you start to notice, I’m sorry. I think this is maybe a technique that is taught in journalism school. We do it, by the way. Exactly, we do. I know exactly what you’re talking about. When we’re talking, sometimes it’ll be like, “Okay”, “Yep”, “What.” For me, it’s a way for two people to have a conversation that doesn’t just let one person go on and on and on. And another thing that happens, the thing I feel for is the news anchors when they’re interviewing somebody and this is like, “Ah, this Senator doesn’t know that they shouldn’t be talking for like two minutes unbroken. So I have to now begin saying things to get them to shut up.” Senator. Right. Yes, but. Yes. Yes, but. Yes, and. But you know what I’m talking about, maybe you don’t notice it, but you will now. Right. And it’s like, “So as this court case draws to a close, what are the ramifications for the legislatures?” Right. Well, here’s what I’m going to say right now. I mean. Exactly. Well, just even saying, “Yeah.” And then they’ll give the answer. What do you want? I just want them to go into the answer. I don’t want them to give this little thing. But a pause sometimes makes people think that something else is wrong. No, no pause. “What do you think’s going to happen to legislature?” “Starting tomorrow, they will, blah blah blah blah.” It’s like give your answer. But you gotta be. I think people need a little hitch. Yeah, maybe I’m being too hard on them. Speaking of being able to talk at the same time as two different individual people who don’t want to talk over each other. And never do. If you want to hear two people talk over each other a lot, you should listen to our Ear Biscuits podcast. We also have a video form of that if you want to watch people talk. But you know, you can stream the audio version wherever you get podcasts. And we’re actually, the latest episode is us talking about all the purchases that we made individually in 2021. We did that last year, it was pretty fun. Just all the crap we bought this year. And finally… Weird stuff, probably. @isthisreserved2, but that’s the person’s name. Is this reserved? Well apparently yes, it is reserved. So you’re gonna have to pick @isthisreserved2. “I have a lifelong beef with styrofoam. I don’t get why it has to sound like evil incarnate.” So it’s the sound that got you. “It sets my teeth on edge. If I open a package and it has those styrofoam blocks, that’s it. No matter how bad I need it, someone else is unpacking it for me and getting rid of the evil.” Well, listen, I’ve got enough little quirks about things that rubbed me the wrong way. Like, I mean, you know, the forks on the fine china or the fingernails on the chalkboard, so to speak. Right, I know exactly what you’re talking about. If it makes you feel weird, then I, you know, I can’t dog you for that. Exactly, and that’s why I’m expecting this styrofoam to last for three months. I have to say something to, I’m trying to do the NPR thing. I kind of like the squeakiness of styrofoam. The thing I don’t like is that it breaks apart, and then when you try to sweep it up, the static charge of it makes it go everywhere. It’s akin to glitter. Right. Which is my arch nemesis and is outlawed here at Mythical Entertainment. Well, did you know that you’re not supposed to put the styrofoam in your recycling bin? I thought that changed, I thought they figured it out. Have they figured it out yet? They’ve figured it out. Please tell me they have, because my bin’s been full of it. You can recycle styrofoam, please. Rumor has it that they’re… All clean styrofoam can be recycled, including block, eggshell, and clam packaging. In fact, no paper that is contaminated by food waste can be recycled. Well, that’s a big leap. We’re talking about, this means napkins and paper towels can only be recycled if they are unused. Wet paper may also contaminate… Well that was in 2011, so I guess I’m a few years behind. In Los Angeles. And that’s in Los Angeles. Burbank won’t take cardboard pizza boxes. Burbank won’t take cardboard pizza boxes. Because they’re grease soaked. Yeah, you can’t have food on your recycling stuff. Rumor has it that they’re just sending it all to the landfill right now anyway. Or dumping into the sea. You can’t put an empty peanut butter jar in recycling because of all the peanut butter residue in there. A couple of times I cleaned it out thoroughly as if it were a dish I were going to reuse, and then I just couldn’t sustain. Well ever since our friend Jayden, who’s very environmentally conscious, talked to us about how big of a headache it is for them at the recycling facility when there’s like peanut butter in your peanut butter jar. Like I take this extra time to like get the peanut butter jar clean, but I’m using a bunch of water to do that. And then I’m using hot water, which is using energy. And then I have an existential crisis and just think there’s no answers. Yeah, we should just start buying jarless peanut butter. Peanut butter by the handful. Just by the handful. Just go the the grocery store and be like, “Listen, I’ll figure it out when I get home, just load me up.” To get the Rhett and Link plushies, join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by December 31st. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.