Welcome to “Good Mythical More”. We have gotten our hands on some teen magazines. Let’s see this one is from 2004, 1990, going all the way back to the 70s, 60s, 50s. Oh man, we’re gonna have some fun. Oh man. But first because we landed on, GIFTICALITY we’re donating $1,000 to 350.org to aid in their mission. To end the age of fossil fuels and build a world of community led renewable energy for all. 350.org strives to address the injustice of the climate crisis by listening to the communities getting hit hardest and amplifying the voices that are being silenced. Please join us in giving at 350.org/donate. Thank you for being your mythical best. I washed the butter powder off my hands and I couldn’t help bam, but feel guilty. Just… Washing butter down the drain. I was making butter and it was just going right down the drain. Yes, sometimes you gotta send the butter down on it’s way. Yeah it’s… Send the butter to the ocean. So let’s start with, “J-14 Just For Teens”, 2004. Did you guys have, did you get to subscribe to any magazines? No. Well no, but like, am just… Any magazines? Well, yeah, like don’t you remember? “Boy’s Life”. Don’t you remember magazines being cool like as a kid like… Yeah, “Boy’s Life”. What’s “Boy’s Life”?. It was the magazine I subscribed to. But is it like, what was it like? It was like a boy scout. It was all about boy’s life. It was a boy scout. It was a boy scout’s magazine. I had a subscription. All of my subscriptions were like in grade school, middle school, Zoo books. But I didn’t have any of the teen stuff. Kalin has gone through and marked some pages for us. Whoa, here we go. Look at that. Even back in 2004… Good gracious. We got a risk Skecher’s ad, just a little bit Skechers. Skechers doesn’t do… Skechers was getting sketchy back in the day for 14 year olds. Hot words for hot stats. Is that what J 14 means? Yeah um. Jessica Simpson’s quoted saying “I ask a lot of questions that most people would not ask. They would figure it out in their heads before they ask it”. That’s a keen insight. Cameron Diaz said, “I’m very gaseous”. I’m looking at the 16 magazine from the year 1990. Okay. Christina Aguilera in speaking about her piercings said, “maybe I was rebelling, I’ve taken all my piercings out apart from the one in my right nipple that’s for me”. They’re talking about that to 14 year olds. Okay, you see, New Kids On The Block is on the front of this one, but check out who made the back cover. Who? Just Jon. Look. Oh, wow. I mean, look at that. He got the whole back cover with this little Valentine. Jon Knight. It said John kind of Knight. You guys wanna read some horoscopes from Chad Michael Murray match. Now, hold on. There’s a Virgo. Let me just say, first of all they were cutting a lot of corners with 16 magazine cause they’ve made it black and white on the inside. You’re jumping around to decades is very… Yeah let’s stay over here. You know? It’s like you gotta put yourself. In 2004 everything that you’re saying right now this feels like it happened yesterday. Put this away. It feels… Okay. …irrelevant. This is for later. Okay. But there’s a lot to go through. We don’t have to go through all of them. Chad, we got some Chad Michael Murray. Does this, I want, does this feel, are these things that you recognize, the two of you, because this is more of like this is when I was in high school. Yeah. I recognize Christina’s right nipple. Yeah. I mean look, these low rise pants. I would be like it’s a little bumpy on the right side when she wore tight things. I was like that must be because she left the nipple ring in just for her. I mean, look what is the deal? Did you wear pants like this in high school Stevie? Low rise was in, low rise and boot cut. Here you are, right here. Yeah. Avril Lavigne. I can see her underwear. Oh my goodness. I don’t understand there is some… Coming out of her pants. Low rise that Britney Spears would wear that like, at the time I didn’t question but as I became a woman. I’m like, I just… Exactly. …physically don’t. I can’t, I don’t understand. Right. I mean, some is being airbrushed, right? Well, I don’t know. I think it’s being groomed. Yeah… But also. But even though, even though. Some people have butt cracks that go real high. Hillary Duff… That’s absurd. …is a lot more tasteful. If you have a low butt crack, you can get away with really, really low rise jeans. But if you got a high riding butt crack you can’t follow that trend. Look at this. This is a joke. I mean, look at that fedora, hot headgear. That’s hot with the stripes on. Cover up a bad hair day with style $14. Oh, that was, an S with a vertical line through it is dollar sign. Is a dollar sign. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. $14 Icing by Claire’s. And then there’s an 800 number you can call. I guess to order that. Can we call that right now and get that hat? You got a bling bling watch. Did you ever have a belt that said, rock on it? No, but I know where to get it now. I remember the studded belts were a thing and not. I guess maybe they meant like you were old, but not really. Like they were very popular. Maybe not in this particular pink color. Oh and you know what else, Stevie? A low slung belt takes attention away from the tummy. $18. Well with low rise jeans. Not really though. The low rise belt would’ve been really hanging off. It’s like framing. It’s like framing your belly. Cause with the high rise jeans you can get it up over your belly. You know what I’m saying? Oh look. That’s the beauty of them. Here’s the “hot list”, you’ve got favorite actors, hot guys, hot girls, hot guys, Joel Madden. Who is that? This GC twin is adorable and deep. You guys love his dreamy eyes and powerful lyrics. The hottest band in Rock was, New Found Glory. Yeah Y’all heard of that. Then Evanescence, then Maroon 5, then Good Charlotte, Simple Plan. All-American Rejects, Lincoln Park, Blink-182, No Doubt, Yellowcard. You really get an idea of just how like the fact that Usher is number one or not number one but he’s… Best rap RnB yeah. Number one in best rap and RnB back then. Oh. And like, you know what I mean he’s not like top list of chart right now, but like he’s… He’s older now. He’s still relevant though. No. Well, well okay. Well, he’s in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah. But you know… So hot guys, Joe Madden, Chad Michael Murray, Eminem, Orlando Bloom and Usher’s number five. Hot girls, Lindsay Lohan, Hillary Duff, Jessica Simpson, mhm, Beyonce, Avril Lavigne number five with those low rise. All right. Okay. Moving on to “16”, 1990. Again, they hadn’t quite worked their way up to full color. Now you can, you get full color for some things like Tommy Puett, he got a color page. Who is that? I don’t know. It’s kinda like a… Who is that? You don’t know who it is? I have no idea. Cause this would be… He’s looking for love. This is your, this would be your teen magazine year, right? He’s Tyler Benfield, “On Life Goes On”. Yeah. Yeah. This would be your time period to be a teen. But… This magazine. …I definitely, well… Look at that. Yeah, like we were entering our teenage years at this time and I was a big fan of “Doogie Howser”. Good Lord. Look at Neil Patrick Harris there. He’s so young. He’s smart. Okay. You know what? They hadn’t quite worked their way up to like, it’s just not, there’s not a whole lot going on. We’ve got, “No Josh-In Around” Josh Brolin. Josh Brolin on a horse. Josh, Josh Brolin on a horse. Thanos. You wanna know some stuff about Josh Brolin? Well, he’s super handsome. He’s got acting in his blood. Yeah. He’s a proud young writer. He was on on the “Young Writers”. Y’all… nobody remembers young writers. I remember that show. Absolutely not. It was a great show. That was a great show. He was on that. Here’s a quote from him, “When I was younger I used to get up at 5:30 in the morning and feed hay at 58 horses”. All right. You’ve earned it. Okay. Thanks Josh. You’ve earned it. Oh no. Janet Jackson. Rhythm Nation. This is before the wardrobe malfunction. Oh yeah. Now let’s see. She was the girls of, she was being spotlighted in “The Girls of Rock n’ Roll”. They, oh, look one page back. Look who got a page. Look, both Paula Abdul and Debbie Gibson. Oh. So apparently the 16 magazine strategy was just give people a page. You know, just give people a page with a picture on. Well this is why, because you would tape them and… Rip it out. …rip it. Yeah. And you put it on your… And nicely put them on the wall. Yeah. You put it on your wall. Debbie Gibson, man. Man. I like how she got that hat, working that hat. I met Paula Abdul. I was very pleased to be meeting her. Like I was very drunk. No, I wasn’t drunk. It was in a, the production company where we were making the pilot for Commercial King. She like came through there and I was like I gotta meet Paula Abdul. I came out there and I met her. You met her too, because I insisted on meeting. Yeah. It was a great meeting. And then you were always there when I was meeting people. I’m gonna read our horoscopes from back in 1990. Gemini, because Linc. Okay. This is your time, now to see if this you identify with this, 1990, like 1990 to be specific April, 1990. So you’re in sixth grade. Yeah. So you’re, you’ve just gotten into the second half of sixth grade. Who was your teacher? Um. Ms. Campbell. Mhmm. I think. You were Ms. Campbell? Who’s my sixth? Ms. Hobbs, right? No, we were both in Ms. Hobbs. Sixth grade. I don’t know. But… Just read my horoscope. I was thinking a lot about ladies. This is your time to let others know that you want, what you want from them in a team effort. Yeah. Romantic tides with someone at a distance are favorable. Is that when you started liking Jennifer who lived on the other side of town? No, that was much earlier than that. Don’t use last names. Is that when you started liking Jennifer. That was like kindergarten. Your speech and conversation making impression on others. Mm. I had quite an accent. Libra, that’s me. Oh gosh. Romance is on your agenda. That’s true. Yeah. Plus get… But not in your reality. Plus… I had an agenda. Plus get togethers with friends. That was all that was really working out. Was to get together with friends. Yeah. Also your work schedule is busy. Man, I was a busy little, sixth grader. And you will have to find time to juggle everything. Family matters continue to improve. Yeah, it was getting better that year. That show? That show was getting better. Oracle was really coming out of his shell and finally… Oh Richard Grieco. We gotta get Richard Grieco put him all the walls. Yes. All right before I show you these older ones. Have you been watching the latest batch of myth mantras over on “Mythical Kitchen”? Well, you need to. What are they doing? What are they doing? They’re munch and myths. What’s it like? It’s all stuff that like is very relatable to a day to day cooking experience. So like, if you make yourself a grilled cheese there is the best way to milk milk. You gotta milk that grilled cheese. Make a grilled cheese. You get that juice right out of it. And they figured out, eggs, like things that you cook every day. There’s things that you’re doing incorrectly. Yeah. They’re shaking things up. They’re setting the record straight. Go to the Mythical Kitchen channel, check out myth munchers. Let’s see… “Teen World”. “Teen World”, this is from 1974. Donny, “We tell you how to turn him on”. Whoa. They were… Wow. What in the world was happening, man. The world has gotten is a much more safe place now than it was back then when they were trying to turn on Donny. So you’ve got… Wait. Okay. Can we go to that? I wanna go to that feature cause I wanna know. You wanna know how to turn on Donny? Yeah. It’s probably pretty easy these days. What’s it? Yeah, like… This is Donny Osman. Donny Osman. Is he still around? Donny, we tell you how to turn him on. Donny Murray. Page eight. Yeah. They’re still on act? Vegas. They’re in Vegas with Usher. Look at Jeff Bridges, man. Look at that. But hold on I’m trying to find what… Stevie wants to know how to turn him on. It says page eight. Page eight. I mean you’re almost there bro. There it is. Turn him on. Turn him on. We will tell you how to turn him on. But does it say that. Oh my God. This is all about the Nitty Gritty Dirt band and Eric Clapton. They chose graphically to just repeat, turn him on. Turn him on. Oh, here it is. Yeah, cause that’s why I was reading it. I mean… I was on this page. I’m not gonna take the magazine from him, but… It’s quite doubtful that any of you out there want to learn how to turn delightful Donny Osman off. Of course. That would be easy. Yeah. But would it be any fun? No. Donny might be the biggest and brightest star on the horizon, but that doesn’t make him light years away. He’s accessible. Remember how fast Merrill and Allan beat the dust and near for the right person. The girl who really knows how to turn. Okay, hold on. So they were selling this idea that you in the middle of Wyoming, going into the newsstand and buying this thing that Donny Osman was accessible to you. If you could just figure out how to turn him off. Well, right? It’s not necessarily easy. Donny’s no machine and you can’t just flick his switch on or off. Oh, come on. But once you learn how to do it, Donny could be yours. So follow Teen World again on a triumphant tour of Donny Osmund turnon’s, number one, do you know all the words to all of Donny Osmand’s songs? Okay. It turns… Number two, it turns Donnie totally on to receive letters from his fans… Wait, wait. …across the world. I’m sorry. Number one, the number one thing that turns him on, is if you know all the lyrics to his songs. Knowing all the lyrics to his songs. Let me tell you right now. I don’t know Donny personally, but that’s not true. Okay? Yeah. It says, if you don’t know the lyrics learn them. Donny gets flipped out and flattered that anybody would take the time to learn all of them. It shows him you really care? I don’t think Donny was personally consulted for this article. It turns Donny on to receive letters from his fans all across the world. It still surprises him that strangers bother to send him so many notes. He only wishes he had the time to answer them all. If the day had 40 hours, maybe he could begin to. When I… So send him a letter today. We’re looking at a picture of modern Donny Osman and I’m getting turned on. Oh yeah. Write him a letter, man. I might what’s his address in there? He looks like he’s wearing a t-shirt in the pool. Well, yeah, he is Donny Osman. I think he sleeps without his shirt. He swims without his shirt. Can you bacon all American apple pie? He’s a t-shirt pool guy. The smell of one coming fresh from the oven drives delicious Donny wild. Good gracious Donny. Wild enough to eat the whole thing all up. He can afford it at 58 and 125 pounds. Donny is still a slim growing boy. Who wrote this article? Does it say? Let’s see, it looks like. Oh, Donny. No, but was it. Who? It is not crazy. It doesn’t say whom. Let me just say… Turn to page 48. There’s so many turnons. You gotta go. Well, let me just say this is a pattern cause if you go to “For Teens Only” from 1968, “25 ways to make boys like you”. I mean, this is what was being fed to the ladies. Number one, be a real girl. Number two. Number two. Wait sorry. What year is this, you said? 1968. Okay. Number two, like boys. Number three. I’m out. All right Stevie. Be fun on the dance floor. Number four, give a party. Number five, be friendly and outgoing. Six, give him the opportunity to make a date. Seven, practice good personal hygiene. Seven, make your date feel special. I’ll just read this one. Boys like girls who are enthusiastic about the evenings activities and show them they’re impressed when something special has been planned. Number nine, be a good sport. And that’s it. Oh, you gotta go all the way to page 57. Oh. And I just did. What else? Show your appreciation. Know when a kiss is just a kiss. What? What? Wait, I need some details there. If you’ve both hit it off and had a really good time on a date, a boy may want to show his warm feelings for you by asking for a kiss. A friendly kiss that’s sincere and has meaning for both of you can do no harm, but make sure your kiss doesn’t say more than you feel he could get the wrong idea and this could add up to embarrassment and hurt feelings for both of you. Wow. It’s all on you ladies. Wow. I think it’s the message. Yeah, and then you go back earlier. I’m sure the advice keeps getting better for, in “Teen of This Year”. Absolute, well last thing I’ll say this is the most important one. Number 20, be interesting. 1946. It turns out it’s not that important cause it’s at number 20. Don’t be that interesting. If at all… Don’t be too interesting. Be interesting. All right. Go and be interesting. If you separate the eye contact. It’s all for nothing. Okay to… Wait I gotta hold on.