Welcome to Good Mythical More. We’ve got snacks that are parties to crimes. Hmm, party. We’ve got snacks, that are enabling people to break the law. Wow. It’s crazy. But first, It’s crazy. We have a 10 word story. Okay. Georgie. Pulled. His. Finger. So. Hard. He. I’m taking out that cause it’s waste. He. That’s waste? He… Forgot His. Math. You know, if you pull your finger too hard you will forget your math. Georgie pulled his finger so hard he forgot his math. That’s a good- It can happen. That’s a good homework excuse. Where’s your homework, Georgie? I pulled my finger too hard. And I left it. So I forgot my math. I think he forgot all math. Like, his knowledge of math. All the math that he had up until that point. All the math that he understood, he forgot. It’s like, do not pull your finger too hard. You gotta be careful when you’re pulling your fingers. It’s like, you pull it a little bit. If you’re over a certain age and you pull it, of course it will lead to a fart, but you have to be like a uncle. Do you know that when we were coming up. Or a granddad. We were coming up, you’d jam your finger and then you get a teacher to pull on it. Just to yank it. I’ve got children. We’ve never pulled on their fingers. I’m sorry, wait. Doesn’t work. What? Yeah, you jam your finger. Growing up, If we ever jammed our finger, Oh! The coach would take your finger and he would pull on it. Yeah, and that’s bad. That can’t be- It’s not, we’re not supposed to do that. That can’t be in WebMd. I broke two different women’s finger. That sounds, the way I said it- You broke two different women’s fingers? The way I said it was inappropriate. But I mean it in that- You broke two different women’s fingers? What I mean is as a girl, as a young girl, I broke two other girls’ fingers accidentally, in different occasions. From pulling? No, no. One was a, there was a dance involved, and then a fall, in which her finger was broken. And then the other one, I was playing soccer- You pushed a girl? And I, I think it was practice, and I broke our goalie’s finger with the soccer ball. Oh, Stevie. Oh wow. And that’s what I mean. The power. Shame on you. And that’s what I mean. The power. Stevie win Levine. Yeah, I know. I’ve been waiting for 10 years to tell that story. You broke a goalie’s finger. You break a goalie’s finger and it’s pretty much game over, you know. No, you just go up there. They’re the only ones that can touch the ball. No, I, it was fine. Everything was fine. Do you guys wanna- Handball. Play a game where I tell you about some crimes involving snacks, but I leave the snacks as blanks and then you write down what you think the blanks are? Well that what I was hoping I was gonna get to do when I showed up this morning. I’m gonna already put a blank. Okay. I’m gonna put a snack. I’m doing a blind guess. Here’s the first crime. A man robbed an Iowa city convenience store but accidentally left a trail of stolen snacks and lottery tickets for police to follow. Officers found him about a hundred yards away from the store carrying two cases of beer and covered in blank blank. Oh. Well, that’s not gonna work. Covered in blank blank. A hundred yards away. He made it a football field away with two cases of beer. Okay, I think I got a pretty good guess. Just ’cause of the two blanks and also you can get covered in it. I also felt like I would get this one, but I have the answer, so. Link’s having trouble. He just, he just divided his blanks up though. Yeah, covered in M&M’s? Okay. Two blanks. I went with nacho cheese. It’s nacho cheese. Nacho cheese. Yeah, ’cause you gotta think, it’s just like, first of all, boy- What did he do? You’re gonna steal nacho cheese? How do you steal nacho cheese? I think you fill up a thing with it. Like a vat? Yeah, he gat a vat and then it spilled all over him. How are M&M’s gonna stick to him, unless he’s magnetic to M&M’s. I don’t know, man. I don’t know. Ask Georgie. Louisiana Councilman John Gibbons unwrapped a blank in a store, ate it, and shoved the wrapper into his pocket. When Gibbons went to pay for his other items the clerk asked him if he was going to pay for the blank. Upset Gibbons pulled out his Councilman badge and told the cashier, “You must not know who I am.” A warrant went out for Gibbon’s arrest and his bond was set at $1,000, about $999 more than the cost of that blank. Mm. Old John Gibbons in there with that blank in his pocket. It’s gotta be something that he ate, he could eat quickly and then shove the wrapper in his pocket. Go and then put the wrapper in your pocket. It’s like, what’s something- It’s not like a Snicker, like, chomp, chomp, chop, chomp, chomp chomp, chomp, chop, chomp, chomp. How long does it take to eat Snickers? Well, if you’re Louisiana Councilman John Gibbons a lot less than that. You think it’s- If it’s a fun size. You think it’s a fun size Snicker? They don’t sell those individually. I went with Snickers. It ain’t a Snickers. I can tell you right now, it’s not a Snickers. Unwrapped? Shove the wrapper. Oh It’s got a wrapper on it. It may have been a Reese’s peanut butter cup but that’s too many blanks. I think he unwrapped a.. Um… Yeah, you gotta unwrap it. If you eat it, shove the rapper in your pocket. Like a muffin. Now this is Louisiana. It’s in a Louisiana store. Okay, well now I’m gonna… You’ve already given your answer. Well no, I got, now I got another one. I went with crawfish. I went with… Crawfish in a wrapper. They individually wrapped a crawfish. Honey bun. She said, see, I mean I’ll take a hint. Honey bun. A crawfish It’s close, the honey bun. It’s moon pie. Oh, moon pie. It’s moon pie. Moon pie. Do you know who I am? I’m a moon pie. If I don’t get a moon pie, nobody gets a moon pie. When’s last time you had a moon pie and you weren’t being ironic? I had a moon pie on this show, but it was years ago. Have you ever bought a moon pie at a convenience store? No. Last time I, when we were on our little trip up to San Francisco, that I talked about on the podcast, we stopped at a convenience store. And I was like, “all right, we’re gonna eat in like two or three hours. Just get yourself a little something.” You know, the old, get yourself a little something. Get you something to hold you over. And there’s a whole section in convenience stores that are like honey buns, that are in see-through plastic wrap, that are like this big. Oh yeah, bear claws. And they’re like 27 hundred calories for a thing like that. And I’m just like, there’s somebody coming in here and just getting that. And it’s just like, this is what I’m going to eat right now. I’m gonna eat this whole honey bun. None of splitting it amongst their friends. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, it’s big and it’s honey. And of course Shepherd brought it to me and said, “Can I get this?” You told him, no? I said, “No, you can’t get this.” That’s not gonna hold you over for just a couple hours. You can’t get that, man, you can’t start that. What did you get, what did you allow him to purchase? Some peanuts or something like that. Some peanuts. Shepherd has… We’re not super strict about what he eats. He has so much sugar, but I have to keep a little bit of a lid on it. Speaking of what we allow you to purchase, for a limited time, we got a Mythical Society promo. First degree is just $2 from the today through Friday February 18th. Wow. $2 for a first degree. Wow. You’re thinking about it. Do it, for $2 for, join the Mythical Society. That’s two moon pies Lowest price ever. Tell your friends, $2 for a first degree. That’s probably one crawfish. Till February 18th, mythicalsociety.com for details. All right, Stevie. Authorities in California busted an attempt to steal and resell nearly $300,000 worth of blank. The scheme was surprisingly elaborate with the thieves first stealing the identity of a legitimate trucking company before driving the blank to an abandoned property to remove them from their packaging. Too bad for them, the trailers were equipped with GPS and they were quickly apprehend. $300,000 worth of something? They took them to an abandoned property to removed them from their packaging. Hmm. You gotta take this stuff out of the packaging? Why would you take it out of the packaging? Yeah. Huh. This one hits close to home for me. Snacks. What? Close to home? How close? All right, I’m gonna use that hint. That’s what I was hoping for. I’m using it too. What’d you say? I said liquid death. Liquid death, water, no, pickles. Pickles. Pickles? Pickles. Mount Olive pickles. Mount Olive’s close to the West of Salem Okay, so I told you guys, this hits close to home. Your answer’s pickles. Take the pickles out of their packaging. Pistachios is the answer. Oh, wonderful! Pistachios Why are they wonderful? Why are they removing them from their packaging? I mean, what they taking ’em outta their packaging, like putting ’em in a barrel? Well, here’s the thing, $300- Selling them by the barrel? $300,000 worth of pistachios is really just like 15 bags. It’s not a lot. This stuff is expensive. Yeah, it’s not a lot It’s expensive. And if you too many, your hands are gonna numb. Just like it happened to you that time. Well they started to itch. Yeah. My palms itched, ’cause all I ate all day was pistachios. They itched. Turns out he’s a allergic to like seven pounds of pistachios. I mean I ate a quarter of a million dollars that morning. Yeah, right. It was a splurge, a pickle splurge, pickles. A man in Tokyo was accused of making fraudulent complaints about blank blank which resulted in him illegally obtaining 30 million yen, which is equal to $251,000. The man would call a store and complain that the blank he bought there was blank. He would then call the store again. This time posing as someone from the head office and demand that they give the man some replacement blank and all the cash they took in for the day as an apology to the customer. He was eventually caught. That’s a lot of blanks but I think the man would call the store and complain that the blank he bought there was blank. That can’t be the same blank. No, yeah. I think it’s like, accused of making fraudulent complaints about old fish. Exactly. Yeah. That the fish he bought there was old. So, you know what I’m saying? Oh, old fish, huh? I’m just using a adjective and a noun to explain how this works. $251,000? 30 million yen worth of… I got it. I do think it’s stale something. Well, that’s what I, I went with stale bread because that would actually be a good… That’d be a good scheme because it’s kind of hard to prove. And you can actually make it stale just by, as soon as you get home, you just open it. Well, I said stale too. So I’m not, but I’m gonna say… Fish. I’m gonna say chips, stale chips. Um, half of Rett’s is correct. Oh, hard bread. Okay. Moldy. Moldy bread. Moldy, I wrote it first. Actually, I’m looking for soggy bread. Soggy bread. Oh, even easier to do. Soggy bread. Soggy bread, huh? I need some non-soggy bread. And the cash that you took in for the day, as an apology for me having to handle such soggy bread. How did he get the, how did he settle on all the money that you’ve collected today? That, you know what? I won’t say anything if you give me all the money. It’s retribution, retribution man. Soggy bread. Soggy bread. It’ll ruin your day. Soggy bread will ruin your day if you’re not expecting it. You ready for another one? Yeah, don’t make my loggy soggy. On Christmas Eve 2020 thieves broke into… Mm, Borsalia- That’s my favorite. Restaurant in Brooklyn and stole about, oh, there’s a number in here, about blank pounds of blank blank, passing up more valuable items such as booze, wine, an iPad, and speakers. Booze, wine, iPad, and speakers. They stole about blank pounds of blank blank at Borsalia. Restaurant in Brooklyn. Why is the restaurant selling iPads and speakers? It was an iPad, so I think there was just a singular iPad in the restaurant. Okay. Could have stole that iPad. All right. Borsalia. I said, oh, you said… I said Parmesan cheese. Oh, that’s pretty good. I said a hundred pounds of meatballs but I think Parmesan cheese. Did you spell meatballs, M E E T? No, it’s just my A’s are not… No look. Look, see the A on the- Allow me to introduce you to balls. My A and my- Meet ball. My A, it looks the same, it looks like a C. I do it like that, see? Would you like to meet my balls? I know that meat is not spelt with two Es. It’s an A. You are you’re both in the right region, but you’ve missed the food item. So if it’s not cheese or meatballs Oh… Seven pounds of… A hundred pounds of pasta sauce. Bread crumbs It’s 10 to 15 pounds of fresh pasta. Fresh pasta. Oh, fresh pasta is the best. This is… I’m so glad you told us about this, Stevie. Somebody stole 15 pounds of fresh pasta from a place a year and a half ago. It’s like, who cares? Who cares? And that made the news? And What? Really? I mean you don’t have to steal much to make the news. Thieves broke into a restaurant. It’s because they didn’t take the iPad. That’s why this is so newsworthy. Yeah, I mean- It’s 15 pounds of fresh pasta. It’s no Councilman in Louisiana sneaking a little bite of a crawdad, you know. But it is 10 to 15 pounds of fresh pasta. Is there another? I mean, after your reaction to that one, no. There’s not, that can be the last one. We can end a high note, yes. First degree, Mythical Society memberships are just $2 through February 18th. Visit mythicalsociety.com for details.