Welcome to Good Mythical More. We’re friends. We’re males. AI told us to list the seven rules to best male friendship, so we’re gonna give it a shot. Definitively, but first, we’re gonna give you a random disturbing fact. If you lose a thumb, surgeons can now replace it with one of your toes. What? You heard it here? You can put your toe. There’s no extra thumb on the human body. Okay, thank you. The toe is the next closest body part that is similar enough to use as a replacement. “Once they have the toe off in the hand, prep the transfer requires the use of mic microscopes to reattach the delicate corresponding nerves vessels, tendons, and skin. Surgeons must connect the muscles used to flex and extend, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I believe it. You can do it. Man. You gotta attach two nerves so that the feeling from the toe communicates with the former thumb’s nerve. Wow. I have a toe-like finger and you have a finger-like toe. Then you got a toe thumb. But I mean, thumbs are very handy. No pun intended. So if you lose one, I don’t know. Then what do you put down there where the big toe was? And is it the big toe? Somebody else’s thumb. My second toe is longer than my big toe. You gotta get a thumb donor. I think I would say, you know what? Put my second toe there. And I have a second toe. Now I have a second toe. How about you get rid of the pinky? Because you don’t really need the pinky. You make that the middle toe. Take this middle toe, make the big toe and then make the big toe of the thumb. Okay. That’s a lot of surgeries. Yeah. Probably not worth it. I just want a pig toe. My toe doesn’t bend very well because I broke it and now both of them are gonna like- When’d you break your thumb? Toe. Your toe. Oh, yeah. I know when you broke it. You threw a tantrum at the basketball game and you kicked the bleachers when they put you on the bench. Yeah, right. And then they put me right back in. But for some reason, my left toe. So your tantrum worked. It worked. My left toe doesn’t bend as well, either. So it just would be more of this situation. Okay. And shorter. I don’t want that. Seven rules for best male friendship. I like the fact that artificial intelligence thought this will be something that we could talk about. I think. Rules. Rules is a tough word. So first of all, I’m gonna throw some- Guidelines. I’m gonna throw some things out that are just guidelines and then we might make them into rules, like speak the same language. Okay. Yeah. That’s pretty… Should that be a rule? I mean. Attempt to speak the same language. Attempt to speak the same language? Well, because you might make friends with someone who speaks a different language and it may become a best friendship, but you really need to try to be speaking the same language. Maybe it’s attempt to speak the same language or get a really good interpreter. Yeah. But then… Or a really good app. Now, would you rather date someone who spoke a different language- Yes. Or be friends with somebody? I mean, it seems exciting when you have to communicate non-verbally, you know? It seems a lot more exciting. Yeah. For romantic relationship than it does for just a friendship. Well, define date. Because you know, if you’re dating and you go out to dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re having conversations. That becomes difficult. If date just means something else, then it’s fine. You know? No, I’m talking about the whole thing. All of it included is even the date is like a little dance of chemistry that like- But I think he’s saying is that broken English works well in some circumstances. Right. But maybe even better than fluent English, in certain circumstances. But over dinner, when you really getting to know somebody- I don’t wanna make this an English-centric conversation. It sounds like you’re doing it. No, broken any language works in certain contexts. I’m only saying that because I speak English and I only speak English. Right. I only speak English because- Because you’re an American, just like me. Well, that’s because I mean, yeah. That’s the language that I know. So that’s one out there. Attempt to speak the same language or get a good app or a translator. That’s pretty safe. I like that. That’s good for male friendships. What do you think about male friendship back massages? Do you think that should be a part of the equation? Because you know, there’s always the one guy in every group who just comes up to everybody and he’s like, “Hey, look, you look tense, man.” There’s always one in every group and you want that to be your best friend because I don’t do that for you. You don’t do that for me. No. We don’t really massage each other. But I mean, keep trying. But do you think this is a good idea? Would you rather the translator do it? A little higher. The interpreter could do. I’m kind of bony, ain’t I? Maybe this is it. Minimize the amount of massages from each other, comma. Maximize. No, comma potentially make your interpreter also a masseuse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you’re not speaking very well to each other and you’ve got the interpreter, that person could also be a masseuse- Yeah, that’s the theory. Who could massage both of you at different times. Twinky, you got all that? Yeah. Yeah. Now, I was gonna say- He was like, yes. He just like, yes, I have all that. I was gonna say that you massage each other, but you don’t look like you enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t admit you enjoy it. Don’t, yeah. But I like this better. Minimize the amount of back massages. No, what? We didn’t say that. I did. Yeah. We said minimize the amount? Yeah, yeah. From each other. From each other. No, it’s either don’t act like you like back massages from each other. Okay. I’m willing to go there. Or make your interpreter a masseuse. Yeah. What happens if you act like you like the massage? It might turn into more than friendship. Oh. Right. I didn’t- So you bury it deep down inside? Yeah. No, it’s just- Okay. You wanna keep it platonic. Got it. It’s like, I’d like to say, I could just enjoy that massage that he just gave me, but I couldn’t. Yeah. The George Costanzas, man. Because yeah, because of, you know? I guess things I need to get over. Yeah. Things you need to talk to your therapist about. You know? So it’s fine. I guess just keep giving me back massages until I start enjoying it. Okay. What do you think about matching tattoos? We’ve never given each other back massage. Do you think best male friends should get matching tattoos or just matching rings? I mean, because really. Friendship ring. So I mean, which one should they have? My wife also has this ring. My wife is getting one, but she hasn’t been fitted for it. So… I think maybe you should- Rules for best male friends. I don’t think you have to get a matching tattoo. Our tattoos aren’t matching, but they’re like matchy. In the same place. Yeah. So I guess there’s that. Maybe the rule is just discuss matching tattoos. We’re not telling you whether or not you need to get them or not, but we do feel strongly that you need to consider it and discuss it. Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s the nature of- Just discuss matching tattoos or rings. If you can’t talk about it and maybe you disagree or maybe you both, neither one of you want it, but if you can’t talk about it, then that’s a problem. Right. So yeah. Okay, so we’re living in a world- Talk about matching tattoos. Where you like the massage, but you should not say that you like it, but you should talk about the tattoo and be vulnerable about how you feel about the tattoos. Right, yes. I just wanna. Okay, great, great, great. You’re completely tracking. Great. Great. Now, I’ve gotten a professional massage from a male. I don’t always request the female. Yeah. Right, right. Because I’m usually not happy with the pressure that- Oh, you’re saying now that female must offer you pressure and that’s appropriate? Hold on. You’re saying that a woman- Is that what you’re saying? The woman’s massage is weak? Are you saying women aren’t strong enough? Is hat what you’re saying? Wow, man. I love all people. Have you had a Thai massage? Because let me tell you, if you wanna be in extreme freaking pain- I had a woman walk on my back. Yeah. Stevie, I’ve had it all. Oh, Lord. He had a four hander. I had a four hander. I’m sorry, what? He had a four hander at the proper. I had a, oh, man. Is that what they call it? Yeah. There were four hands and there was a lot of oil. A trip to the bathroom. Okay. So we only have three rules. I have another one. Steak night. Steak night. Yeah. Consider steak night. No, let’s just say have a steak night. We can be authoritative. Definitely do steak night. Now, here’s why. Once a month. Steak night, not knife. That was so confusing because I also heard knife and then you said do it once a month and that became also very confusing. Steak night. I don’t know if you guys were sharing a set of steak knives. Okay, let me just explain this. My oldest son, who’s 18 now. Male. Male, recently. I wasn’t there for this, but I got home and the grill was like, the grilling area looked like somebody had not taken care of it well and had not cleaned up. And I was like, what happened out here? Yeah. In that exact voice. And Locke was like, “Oh, me and the boys had steak night.” And I was like, “What?” He was like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” We got two big T-bones and he and his three other friends, they bought two big T-bones and they grilled them and they ate them together.. That’s a good idea, man. And then he was like, “You and your boys didn’t have steak night?” And I was like, man, you little spoiled brat. Of course I didn’t have steak night in the early 90s in North Carolina. If we got steak, dad would do the steak, like maybe once a month. It was a big deal. I wasn’t taking my high school money that I didn’t have and going to the grocery store and getting steak with my friends, boy. No, I didn’t have a steak until I had my job. But I do think that steak night, it seems like it was a bonding experience for them. It’s like going back to like, carnal roots of like, going out onto the planes and like, taking down an antelope. Wait, so you guys have not had this together, but you are taking the suggestion from Locke, who has done this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Got it. We think y’all should do what my son does. I talked ti him about it last night when I dropped off the pound cake at your house. Thanks for bringing the pound cake. Did you eat any of the pound cake? I did. I was in therapy when you came by. I know, I know. But I got outta therapy. The first thing I did, I didn’t even speak to my family. I went straight for the pound cake. Lando and Lincoln’s birthdays are within two weeks of each other exactly and Nana always makes a pound cake for the kids and mails it out and we were like, “Nana, just send one pound cake for both of them. I get home.” Don’t tell her that. Well, that’s what I told her. It doesn’t matter. Good. She sent two pound cakes. Man, that’s so good. One was peanut butter and one was chocolate. Two huge pound cakes in a box. I had the chocolate one, but it was- Ship it same day. So we chopped him both up- It was touching the peanut butter. And we took some of it over to the McLaughlins. So you’re not putting officially on the list that you should give your best male friend a pound cake- No. Because you think steak night sounds cooler. That’s pretty good. We gotta get to seven, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here’s what I would say. Once a year, give half a pound cake to your best friend. No, no, no, no. I will say, to go on with the steak night, though, I will will say- It meant a lot. I think camping is good. But I also think that, but the pound. When you texted me last night when I was about to go into therapy and you said, “Hey, we’ve got some pound cake. Nana’s pound cake. Would you like me to bring it over?” I was like, wow, this field like such a loving action. That’s right. That’s right. So I think number rule number five is once a year, give your best friend half a pound cake. Share a pound cake. Or one pound cake every two years. Share your Nana’s pound cake. As long as the ratio is one pound cake for every two years. Think about. Here’s another one. You haven’t typed that one. What’s going on over there? He’s not a stenographer. He added a nice addendum to number four, which you haven’t acknowledged. Oh, maybe invite the interpreter and the masseuse. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And if they’re at the same person, even better. What was I saying? Well now once a year, give your best friend half a pound cake or once a year. Say Nana’s pound cake. Or one every two years. Yeah. Give your best friend half of- I think it can just be a pound cake because when your Nana’s gone, I still want you to send me half a pound cake. Well, no one’s gonna be making it. Dang it. What was I saying, though? I was off to- Camping. You said, “Here’s another one.” Camping. Camping. Consider camping? Consider camping. But you don’t wanna be definitive. One of the things that I’ve tried over the years as I’ve been making and friends is to tell people, like, “Hey, I wanna be your friend. I think we could be friends.” That really doesn’t work. Hold on. You’ve done that? I think we can be friends? Who did you tell that to? Yeah. There’s a song, like why can’t we be friends? And then there’s another song that’s like, I wanna. I think maybe this might be rule number seven. Just let it happen naturally. Don’t force anything. Yeah. Yeah. Rich. You interpreted that as reject friendship from others. I think it’s just let it happen naturally. Don’t force it. But think about your feelings. Find a way to share your feelings that isn’t awkward. Okay. So we’re gonna go- Find a way to share your feelings. He got it. He got it. Let it happen naturally. Don’t force it. Also, find a way to your feelings without being awkward. Without being awkward. Like, use me as a negative example. Without being awkward. But if it is awkward, don’t stop. I’ve also talked about on our podcast breaking up with friends. Also something that I don’t think- Something you shouldn’t do. Like I literally broke up with a friend of mine. Told him I couldn’t be his friend anymore. When you could have just stopped. And he didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah. I just didn’t feel like I had room in my life to be the friend that I thought he needed, so I told him I was out. No. And well, to be specific, the dude sent a text that was like, “Hey man, I miss hanging out,” or something like that, right? No, he said, “Hey man, it’s been awhile. Just thinking of you.” Just thinking of you and you responded with, “I can’t be your friend anymore.” Well, it was a long paragraph. Oh. Oh, man. Only Link would do that. And then, I went through the response on Ear Biscuits and then like, months later, I saw him. And he was like. And I talked to him in a restaurant and it was a bit awkward. I know we’re not friends anymore. Because I had broken up with him. I know we’re not friends anymore, but we do still talk. I did apologize for breaking up with him, but we didn’t get back together. Good. Good, good, good, good. And that friend was me. There it is. The seven rules. So we’re gonna read through all these, but we do wanna remind you to get caught up on Mythical Kitchen. They’re doing amazing stuff over there and you should really watch the most recent last meals on Mythical Kitchen. Yeah. Because things get deep. Yeah, yeah. Maybe even dark. We’re fans of that. Okay. Seven rules for best male friendship by Rhett and Link. And you know what? Don’t limit this to male friendships because this is AI’s fault. This could be any friendships. Making this all gender specific. Not our doing. Seven rules. We’re good. Seven rules for best friendships. Number one, attempt to speak the same language or get a good app and/or translator. Rule number two. Don’t pretend you like back massages from each other. What? No. I think you do pretend. Pretend you don’t like. Oh, oh. Pretend you don’t like back massages from each other. Potentially make your interpreter a good masseuse. Yeah. Number three. Talk about matching tattoos or rings. Yeah. Rule number four. Steak night once a month! Maybe invite the interpreter/massuse. Rule number five. Once a year, give your best friend half of a pound cake or one every two years. Yeah. Especially if you have a Nana. Right. And number six, consider camping. Yeah. And number seven, several rules all in one. Let it happen naturally. Don’t force it. Also, find a way to share your feelings without being awkward. See Link for are negative examples. Yeah. Hey, man. This is good. Y’all need to carve this in some stone tablets. Or write it in mashed potatoes, maybe.