Welcome to “Good Mythical More”. Are we here? Did we make it? We made it. Yes, we did. All right, so we’re gonna be looking at some hypothetical life hacks in given situations. But, as you know, you can only choose one of two life hacks when presented with a couple. But first, we’re gonna do something that you’re gonna be good at. We’re gonna list them all. See, I hate it when you do this, ’cause it really applies the pressure. Your favorite genre of television, game shows, “Jeopardy!” No whammies. That’s not the name of the show. That’s what I call it. “Press Your Luck”. “Price is right”? I was gonna say “Wheel of Fortune” “Wheel of Fortune”? and I forgot the name of the show. Let’s start over, come on, “Jeopardy!” We really suck at this, “Jeopardy!” it’s like performance anxiety. “Jeopardy!” Oh, you’re still gonna I’m starting over, say the- say the ones that you said. Jeopardy! “Press Your Luck”. “Wheel of Fortune” “Price is Right”. “$25,000 Pyramid”. “Bumper Stompers”. “Scrabble”. That’s a board game. I think they did it as a game show No, no, at one point. no, no. Shh, the one where you whisper. “Password”. “Password”. We’re so bad at this. Keep going though. It’s not a game back and forth, It’s just us talking. It’s just two guys naming game shows in a park. Yeah, we’re just in a park. Okay? It’s not a competition, Hear the birds. It’s just like, “Hey, think of some game shows.” Nobody’s judging us. Nobody’s judging us. Think of some game shows. “The Dating Game”. “The Newlywed Game”. The newly-wedded dating game. Double Dare”, technically a game show. “Fun House”. I’m not familiar with that one. It’s a rip-off of “Double Dare”. Think about the Game Show Network. One time I was in Australia, and I turned on a television, I turned on the television tonight in Australia, and they were playing the most boring game show that I’ve ever seen in my life. I don’t remember the name of it, but I was fascinated… I remember you told me they were very polite to each other. It was just very dry. But I kinda loved it at the same time. What other game shows… I was more into the hosts, like Burt Convy, Chuck Woolery. Yep. Peter Tomarkin. Where’s the one where people dressed up like different characters? Behind door number three? What’s that, the one that Wayne Brady hosts now? What’s that called? Deal. “Let’s Make a Deal”. Let’s Make a Deal.” Yeah, see, this is a fun thing to do at the park. I watch “Let’s Make a Deal”. Just name things. Stevie, can you think of any? My favorite part of Nope. Plumb out. “Let’s Make a Deal” was when he, right in the end of the show, he would go out into the audience and he would, like, make a deal with people. It’s like, “If you can show me like, a 50-cent piece right now, I’ll give you $20.” Or, “If you can show me a toothpick.” It’s like, people would have to produce things off of their person. So you would bring a lot of stuff to “Let’s Make a Deal”. “Family Feud”. Oh, how could we forget “Family Feud”? “Family Feud’s” the best game show of all time. You think so? I believe so, I think “Family Feud” is the best game show of all time. “To Tell a Lie”, I watched that with my mom. I think it’s called… Is it called “To Tell the Truth”? “To Tell the Truth” is… There’s a bunch of retro shows coming back. Can’t remember what that one was called. It’s where the people are lying, it’s kind of like our lineup game. Yeah, this “Good Mythical More’s” off to a bangin’ start. All right, let’s… Stevie, let’s take it up a notch. Okay. Give us some scenarios Let’s play our own game show. So I have some, “Would you rather: hack” scenarios. If these hacks could be invented, which one would you choose? For instance, would you rather have a hack that tells you exactly, it’s in all caps, when your avocado is ripe, and how long it will be good for, or a hack to never encounter a red light while driving? Oh my gosh, that’s easy. The red light, I mean, what… I mean, I can tell when an avocado’s ripe. Yeah. And how often do I have an avocado? Well, I gotta say it is annoying, the avocado is an annoying fruit. You know, because it’s like, sometimes it’s surprising. Sometimes you’re like, “Okay, I’m waiting for a week, here.” Well- “And then, today’s the day I’m preparing my toast, I got my chips out,” whatever you’re doing. You cut open the avocado, and it is an utter, It’s hard. utter disappointment, or it’s rotten, it’s all brown. You’ve set yourself up, you’ve anticipated it for a week, and you are let down in that moment. Well, you’re not gonna talk me into thinking it’s more important than never getting a red light. Never getting a red light would just be, I mean, that would add, like, a year to your life. glorious. In this town? I will say… I mean, it feels good when you’re like, on your normal route, And then, all of a sudden, Yeah, yeah. it’s like, you feel like you’re gonna have a good day. you don’t get any red lights, It’s like, that just feels good. I’m not disagreeing with you, but I will say, the LA traffic is more annoying than a red light in LA. That’s true, it’s not really the lights that’re the problem, Exactly, it’s all the people. So that’s not really, like, solving all that much. Well, you know, just flick the stem. Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say, we said, “Flick the stem.” Flick the stem. You know, “Inside Eats”, in one of our little factoid moments. Yeah. But then, I thought about that later, and it is true. But how many times do you get an avocado that still has a stem on it? Yeah, and also, like I said, It’s true. Like, the feeling of the… I just feel like that fails. And also, you know, when you’re at the grocery store, Yeah, but we said it on “Inside Eats”, so… Well… and you’re looking for an avocado, a ripe avocado? That’s always an interesting, awkward situation. If you wanna go straight home and make guacamole. Yeah. But then there’s also another woman who’s there, who also’s looking for the ripe avocado. And your hands touch at the same time, and you look at each other. And you’re like, “Green lights all the way home, baby.” Yeah, that’s only happened to me a couple of times. Give us another one. Yeah, that makes sense, red light. Give us another one, we’re going with the lights. Okay, would you rather have a hack that tells you the lifespan of your pets, oof! Hmm. Or, I’m guessing it’s like, when your pet is gonna die, essentially, is that hack? I don’t like to think of it. Or a hack for knowing when someone is lying to you, ooh. I just don’t wanna know… I don’t think I wanna know when Barbara’s gonna pass. Yeah. It’s gonna be a really difficult time. I’m not gonna do well for quite some time. But… I mean, knowing when somebody’s lying to you, that’s… Well, first of all- That may not wanna, you may not wanna sign up for that. ‘Cause it probably happens a lot more, I mean, what’s the sensitivity? Yeah, ’cause think about the, like lies The little white lies? that’re good lies. Yeah, like, “Your hair looks good today.” Not that I’m saying that about you guys, not that I’m saying that about you. I’m just saying in general. You wouldn’t wanna know, you want those compliments. But how does my hair look today? It looks great today. Yeah, you’re right, it’s like ignorance Telling the truth, is bliss, but… we’re both gonna have to put our hands on an avocado for me to know if you’re telling the truth or not. Is there a movie that explores this? ‘Cause I’m thinking about, “What Women Want”, and what did Mel Gibson learn? He knew what they were thinking at all times. Oof, I don’t think we need to go to Mel Gibson for anything, you know? How about just say Mel Gibson’s character? What did Mel Gibson’s character learn in that movie? I mean, I think he learned that he didn’t want I think he probably learned the power. a lot of stereotypical things about women that reinforced the stereotypes at the time that that movie was made. How does Helen Hunt feel about that? Let’s talk about, like, “Liar Liar”, I think that’s, Well, “Liar Liar’s” worse, you know… because that’s on you, and you have to tell the truth. You have to tell the truth. I think being able to tell somebody’s lying would be a burden, but it would be kind of a huge asset as well. I mean, first of all, you could do things Yeah. like, “Hey I wanna go make some money tonight,” just go play poker. Like, there’s lots of things that you could do to exploit that. Well, if it was an optional hack, You know? then yes, like, if this… Oh, oh, it has a switch, you could turn it off? You know what I mean? Well, ’cause a hack would. I guess I was thinking, and we were thinking about it more as, like, That’s true, that’s true you always have to tell. If it’s a hack, you could just use it when you wanted. You do your little thing. Yeah. You do your little. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Snap three times, and then they’re like, “I’m sorry, I was lying.” Right, yeah, that’s an easy one for me. Yeah, I mean, that’s power. That’s powerful. Okay, would you rather have a hack for getting the perfect temperature out of the shower nozzle, or a hack for knowing when food is actually, truly, expired? Oh, I love this shower nozzle thing, because… Really? You know, when we were on tour, and we were in a different shower every night, Yep. I had this idea, and I never followed through with it. I was gonna start doing Instagram stories of me trying to figure out how to work showers. Oh that would’ve been a good little series. I know. Because every shower’s different, you know? It’s like, “Well, do you turn this thing, and then you turn that thing? And is it coming outta here, and it’s coming outta there.” And then you’re like, “Do you go all the way this far?” And, you know, of course I developed a system. You turn it all the way. And that way, it decreases the amount of time it takes for it to get warm. So you’ll know if you’ve turned it the right way. If it keeps staying real cold, it’s like, “All right, now I gotta go all the other way to make it hot,” Yeah. Right. kind of a thing. And it was just annoying, unless I made it into content. And since I didn’t, that might be my choice. Well, I wasn’t thinking about travel, necessarily. But I will say, one of the things about my shower at home… And it doesn’t matter if someone else is taking a shower, obviously that impacts it. But I’m saying, let’s just say no one else is taking a shower. Why is it that the temperature of my water is not consistent with where I put the thing, depending on, like, time of day, or like, there’s no rhyme or reason. Like, I’ve noticed before, “Man, my water’s really hot today.” Even though I was the first person taking a shower. And then the next day it’s, I’m the first person that can take a shower, the weather’s the same. I’m like, “Why isn’t it getting hot enough?” Do you have an electric water heater? No, it’s like a gas water tank. You’re talking about the instant water heater, No no, no, it’s not a tank, tankless. It’s gas, but it’s a tank. It’s tankless? It’s not tankless. It’s gas-powered, but it’s a tank. So it’s, like, OG. Well that has something Yeah. to do with it. ‘Cause it’s like, what part of the tank it’s coming from, Is it an old or something? water heater? No, Look at Stevie going full plumber on you. It was new when we moved in, like, six years ago. Well, ’cause, we got an electric water heater, and had a really, kinda older, gas-tank water heater. Yeah. And I’ve noticed that it doesn’t please me as much. Why didn’t you go tankless? You wanna go- It is tankless. It’s tankless electric, I believe. Hmm. Tankless electric. Huh. And what was the other option? Tanks? Tankless tanks? Oh, I was like, What was the other option? that would be a tank gas one. A hack for knowing when food is actually, truly expired. That one, ’cause that is a constant discussion in my family. My wife, like, if the date has hit, she just… Yeah, but there’s a date. Yeah, but those dates’re suggestions. People don’t know what they’re doing. They’re just like, “We gotta put a date on this thing.” You know, like, you gotta open it up, you gotta smell it, you gotta lick it a little bit. You gotta figure out if it’s bad. See, that is a hack though, is it not? It is, but the only way you know definitively is if you eat it, and then find out what happened. Are we split on this one? Seems like this one’s down the middle. I think it’s definitely the food, is what I would go for, ’cause I end up asking that question. I eat a lot more than I shower, anyway. Yeah. And I probably don’t. Okay. Show them that record. Oh. I wanna remind you to get our “Rhett & Link Sing Brooks & Dunn” record. Here’s a little hack. We sang “Neon Moon”. We sang “Boot Scootin’ Boogie”, but we didn’t do it in the way that you might expect. The hack for getting this is just being a third-degree member of the Mythical Society, quarterly or annual, by June 30th. It’s a very easy hack, that’s all it takes. Collect our vinyls. And then you can get this thing. Be a Mythical Society member. Look at that. All right, give us another. Would you rather have a hack for knowing if it’s gonna be a solid fart or a shart? The word solid before fart Is confusing. is kind of misleading. A solid fart, I think, is just a dookie. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Okay, so, I think they mean a fart or a shirt. is this a crap or a shart? You know? Yeah, a fart or a shart. Fart or shart, a fart or shart, Solid… Fart or shart button. Straight-up fart. Or, a hack for knowing exactly how long your poop session will take. Hmm. I think the fart/shart is pretty useful. I’m pretty consistent in my poop-session lengths. I mean, I guess my family gets upset with me when it’s like, when we’re always about to do something important, like go out together, like on a trip or just on an adventure, or sit down for dinner, or have a family talk, or watch “Survivor” together. I’m always like, “Well, hold on. I need to go use the restroom first.” and what that means is And they’re like, “Oh no, dad,” he’s gonna be crapping for… And be like, “Well, this time I’m gonna be crapping for…” But I’m very consistent in how long I crap. It’s just a little longer than they want. Mine has nothing to do with how long I crap. It’s like, what I get into on the internet, you know. It’s just like, what rabbit hole are you gonna go down while you’re on the toilet? But having that knowledge, how would you use that? ‘Cause I would tell my family, “All right, this is gonna be a 12-minute. I think they already know to expect it to be at least 10 minutes, probably. Right, that’s what I’m saying. Fart and shart, I mean, you don’t- There’s a lot more at stake in your pants. But here’s the thing. You’re gonna use that first hack, or, you gonna use the fart and shart much less often. As you get older, you’ll probably use it more and more though. I’m not a sharterer. I just don’t. I mean, I haven’t sharted in weeks. No, I mean, I haven’t sharted in years. Yeah, I’m hard-pressed to locate the last time I sharted. The only time I’ve ever sharted is if something was badly wrong, you know what I’m saying, like, I’m sick. Yeah, are some people- I’ve never been, like, perfectly healthy, having a great day, and then farted, and then sharted by accident. And I fart a lot. Like, I mean, I there’s no two ways about it. I will flatulate in my real life. Yeah. Right. But sharting’s not a problem with me But it could become a problem. Yeah, you’re talking about, As you get older, yeah. with, like, sphincter loosening. Yeah, yeah, you just become a little bit less aware. Less ingrained. So you’re looking towards retirement age. Okay, yeah, I’ll go with the shart. Me too. Would you rather have a hack to have six-pack abs whenever you want, or a hack Instant abs. to wake up with perfectly groomed hair every day. Huh, I mean, the amount of time that we spend grooming our hair, let’s be real. That could be used for lots of things to benefit society, or selfishly, ourselves. Which is kinda what the definition of selfish- Yeah, but see, I mean, I’ve always really liked the idea of having abs, but never really gotten close to it. Yeah. And the idea of being able to just press a button, and like, accent yours like a vacuum-pack thing that happens, like, that would be awesome. Like a vacuum seal. Like, “Going to the beach today. doing the thing,” you know? Would you leave them on constantly, though? Only when I have I don’t my shirt off. think so. And I don’t want them to be, like, Why? Is there a burden to having six-pack abs with your shirt on? I don’t know, I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know. But I mean, yeah, I feel like I don’t want those abs that it looks like you’re really trying too hard. I want it to be, It’s like you’re trying I want it to be, like, to talk at the same time. Well, I just want it to be, like, “Oh, I didn’t expect him to have abs.” I mean, unexpected, you know? Like, “Wow, I can kinda see muscles there.” Not like, “Oh, this guy Right. does nothing except think about what he eats.” ‘Cause yeah, I don’t wanna be that guy either. Constantly crunching. Right. And is it just abs? You don’t get definition in, like, the chest and stuff? It appears to just be abs. So you gotta wear midriffs. Half shirts. Yeah, yeah ’cause if you’re, if you have really great abs, and everything else is a little bit less defined, that could get weird. I like fixing my hair, it’s part of- Yeah, I enjoy my hair time. It’s me time. Yeah. Definitely the abs. Yeah, yeah, We’re both going abs here. Yeah, I mean, I’d shart daily to get abs. Oh, then that’s a interesting question. You get six-pack abs, but you shart daily. Which I actually think is actually a consequence of, I think, a lot of people are on types of diets that cause sharting on a regular basis, Yeah. in order to have abs. To get “Rhett & Link Sing Brooks & Dunn” vinyl, join third-degree quarterly or annual by June 30th. mythicalsociety.com for details.