Welcome to Good Mythical More. Here we are tasting fast food cookies to get your cookie fix, fixed. And see which one is fixing the taste like a, like a homemade. But first congratulations to Jaffa repping that wrapping that merchicality out in the wild with hashtag merchicality. You know what we do when we find you in the wild sporting that stuff? Well, sometimes we give you a $30 gift certificate to mythical.com. And that’s what we’re doing with Jaffa. Congratulations. – Sometimes we call that phone right there beside him. Let’s call that right now and see if that picture answers. – Hey, Jaffa Fit check. Please, welcome from the sport team, Justine and Jordan. Alright. We pay people to taste and rank stuff on the internet, and here’s two of em. Wow. That was a good little song Link. Yeah. Y’all come on up. Let’s get cozy. Get close to these cookies. -I mean we’re gonna like really watch your fingers though. Jordan, you almost, I mean. Watch it. Get close. Watch yourself. Seriously. You wanna hold my scepter. Thank you. I’m gonna challenge you to a hair and beard off, but seriously, it’s time to spin the “Wheel of Mythicality”. Um, do you think that you have strong opinions about restaurant cookies and specifically like, are these fast food or, sub shop or, what? Fast food. Just fast food cookies in general. Fast food or sub shop. I have never had, I, I don’t, I’m sure I’ve had some of them, but it’s not like if I go to McDonald’s I’m not automatically getting a cookie. I don’t think I have ever. Yeah. But, I’m They got cookies in McDonald’s. -super excited. I mean. Well. But I’m super excited to try. I like cookies. I mean, I’m a big cookie fan. I, I would get a cookie. um It is more of a sub shop thing. So, I think that’s a good. Well. I got a cookie at Subway, just so I could take a leak there. Basically -Oh. Yeah. Just to pay for something. Well, we’re starting with the McDonald’s cookie. Oh. -You ever had this? I haven’t, I don’t think I’ve also ever had a cookie from a fast food restaurant. Seems like a weird choice, but, I feel like I should doing, be doing it more often. They Look good. – Grab one. I didn’t know McDonald’s had cookies. They look good. How did I get this far? They’ve always had cookies in McDonald’s? Always? What?I just go get the apple pie. Oh, it’s a crunchy. Oh no. It’s okay. Okay No, I’m a. We didn’t even try Trevor’s homemade cookies. Well, we’re gonna. We’re gonna have to compare it. Okay. It’s hard to be that picky. This is good. I don’t know. – It’s good. I wish it was a little softer. I wish it was a little saltier. Oh sure, yeah. I want a little salt ,and I want a little soft, but, otherwise. It taste good. I like, I can’t argue with you guys ’cause I like a soft salty chocolate chip cookie. Mhm But what we’re going for is the one that tastes the most like your grandma made it. My grandmother. So I’m gonna go with this Does not make a cookie. I have to put this down. I’m so sorry. Well pass it. I, I want everyone except Rhett to experience it. I don’t, I don’t wanna hold it. Okay. I’m bitter. Okay. These homemade cookies look incredible. They’re big and puffy. Hmm. Trevor. Pretty comparable though. Has a grandma touch. Pretty comparable. That was almost the name of his podcast. Grandma touch. -Grandma touch. Yeah. I’d listen to that. Touched by grandma. This is very similar. I mean I don’t, I think that’s a compliment to McDonald’s. Yeah. -Sure. Yeah. I’m I’m actually really surprised. It’s pretty good. So I’m gonna keep my, I’m gonna keep my comparison cookie here. Its got some big chunks in it too. Look at that. Yeah. I think I’m just missing the thickness… You guys. -in the McDonald’s cookie. Yeah. Trevor brought the thickness. Didn’t he? It is thick. It is puffy. So I’m gonna push that one here. All right. Now we’re going with Burger King. Burger King’s got cookies? -Wow. Take a look at these. -Oh my gosh. Where have I been ? Beautiful. Wildly different. Craggily. It looks like an oatmeal cookie. It does look like an oatmeal cookie. What is that? Think I can see the salt on top. It’s like volcanic. It’s one of those like slam the pan cookies. I love this. I love Burger King much more than McDonald’s so. Mm hm. Okay. Hot Take. I know I have a very hot take but, that’s how I feel. Yeah. That’s not good. This taste like a. That is not a good take. It is. Have you been to Burger King recently? Well, they bring it to me. I sit down here. Hey, Burger King. I think Burger King brings it. That “Ch’King” alone is a reason. I’ve had the Burger King fish sandwich multiple times and I remember all of it. Yep. This taste like a store bought cookie. I think this is incredible. It’s got a lot of vanilla in it. You think it’s incredible? I love it. I think it has something in it that gives it a long shelf life. Whenever that is. -Yes. It tastes shelf stable. It tastes like it comes in a paper. I mean, I don’t dislike it. Wow. But it doesn’t taste like grandma You’re right. ’cause grandma doesn’t put anything in there. Grandma just puts the cookie on the shelf. It’s very vanilla-y. It’s weird. It, I mean Jordan, it’s horrible. I’m sorry. I think it tastes really good. I think it’s nice. It’s a little crispy on the outside, while still being soft on the inside. I think it’s a nice cookie option. I’m actually surprised you don’t like it Link, because it has that. You like those soft Chips Ahoy, which are. That’s what this tastes like. It tastes like something that came out of a robot. Very, fake. Now. I’m a “Soft Batch” boy. “Soft Batch”. The stuff that makes it soft batch is some chemical, man. Now these right here. -You like it. These right here are. These, I’ve heard a lot about. You’ve never had a Subway cookie. I’ve Never had a Subway cookie. Well, Justine, let me take this. Thank you. I want you to, I want you to use both hands. -Two hands. Just be warned, that I may wet myself when I eat this. Just cause it’s like a Pavlovian thing. It’s so soft. Yes. Ooh. I love when you can see the chips on the top. The softness is so great. There’s so much chocolate in this. Too much chocolate. I’m I, I kind of agree. Ugh. Too much chocolate. What’s wrong with y’all? There’s a lot of chocolate. We have the same. We have the same opinions on cookies. Yeah. -Why? And it’s not great chocolate. Why do I taste, like rosemary? No, the chocolate taste, not good. I really wanna be positive about this. I’m so sorry. Did this get close to like a rosemary bush? I know. I taste that too. It tastes like a little bit. Did y’all rub it past Rosemary Bush? He’s like nope. Definitely not. I mean the, the Italian seasoning in the Subway. Oh! – Oh. The Italian seasoning is seeping into the cookies. Yeah. -They’re using the same pans. This taste like chemicals to me. Yeah That’s ’cause you’re tasting the rosemary. Does it smell like subway? You know that gross Subway smell. No -Gross Smells like rosemary. We don’t like the Subway smell? Oh God. It’s good when your hungry growing up for like soccer before soccer games, or whatever. Subway was like an easy choice for the team to go to. Sure. I would sit outside ’cause I couldn’t go in. ’cause it would make me gag the smell, of Subway. Wow. -Wow. I would light it as a candle in my room. I think it smells really good. Everything, Jordan likes on sporked, you’re supposed to like the opposite. We have a, – It’s a team. a diverse palate of, of tongues. The beauty of sport is that you basically have something that’s representative of multiple palates, not just these two guys and one guy with a very specific palette. So, you know, I think you end up getting a very reliable group opinion. I feel like something strange has happened in that Subway cookie -in the neighborhood. And I just went back to the home bake cookie and it is just worlds different. Yeah. Oh, I forgot about the Trevor cookie. But the softness of the Subway, if it’s not mixed with the rosemary. That part’s nice. -Nice What are these? You can like taste the individual ingredients in a home cook- in a home. Okay. Oh Jimmy Johns being fancy. We, we’ve liked these in the past. They have a super seal and they said they’re approved by mama. Yeah. -Here we go y’all. Two types of chocolate. Look at how uneven. This is so big. It’s really oblong and. It’s really soft though. I’m excited. It’s really good. It’s so soft. It’s too soft. Mmm. -Um. Can’t be too soft. It’s good though. It’s really good. It might be. It might be better than Trevor’s. Don’t tell him. I like this. It’s got that like under baked kind of doughy quality to it. The one where you’re like, should I eat this? Am I going to get sick? I like to put my cookies in the refrigerator. So they’re like really cold and solidified. And this would be really good like that. So Jimmy Johns is still bringing a. So, you prefer a crunchy cookie. No, I like a soft cookie, that’s cold. Okay. Which means there must be chemical a little bit, or just under baked. Now I’m going back to Trevor’s cookie. I like this better than the McDonald’s cookie. It’s butterscotch-y. I don’t wanna drag his name through the mud. That’s incredible. Man, that McDonald’s cookie is still better. Better than this? I don’t know. It’s closer to the home bake. This does have Ghirardelli Chocolate in it though. I appreciate that. I’m gonna have to see Trevor and Jimmy John, like get into a celebrity boxing match to make my decision about who makes a better cookie. We keep asking Trevor to do a celebrity boxing match because he’s uh. We need milk bad. Don’t we? We need milk so bad. ’cause he’s talking to all the, he’s talking to all the young influencers that like to fight each other with, in boxing ring. Okay. But he’s just not, he’s not willing. He’s not willing to commit. So, if you really wanna see Trevor in a celebrity boxing match just, just flood his, flooded his, all his social media accounts with that. Now, But, he is gonna make his gloves out of cookie dough. Good gosh. That’s the catch. -Wendy’s. Whoa Wendy’s is, Wendy is thick. Chonky. I love these. Good Lord. Thank you. Justine, I agree with you that the most Trevor like cookie is the McDonald’s cookie. Yeah. -But, the best cookie is the Jimmy Johns. Yeah. -Yeah. Wow. Hold on though. Okay. Little bit of a shortbread, almost quality to it. Mm. I kind of like this. This is nice. This is cozy It’s crispy on the outside chewy on the inside. I’m starting to feel a little sick, but, but, in like a nice way. Right. – Yeah. It’s a good sick. Like I’m just gonna go lay down. We really need some milk. That’s very sugary. We’re gonna have to milk it hard after this. But that is good. It’s good. It’s a little sandy, in a pleasant way. Yeah, sandy. It does, it has a sandy quality. I don’t, I don’t like sandy. You know what we do have as well, we don’t have milk, but, we do have this “Rhett and Link sing Brooks and Dunn in the year 3000” vinyl. We took two of our favorite. Well, one of our favorite and the most popular Brooks and Dunn song “Neon Moon” and “Boot Scootin’ Boogie”. And we imagine them reimagine them and what they would sound like in the year 3000. It was fun. You need to get it. Join the Mythical Society. Third degree, quarterly or annual by June 30th to get that thing. Let’s see how this record tastes compared to Trevor’s cookie. I’ll do it. Starbucks cookie. Starbucks has got a good baked good section. Whoa, that was a film. Good Lord. Look how. Big. I mean, America is wonderful. Isn’t it? Like, why do we make everything so big? It’s nice and soft. Oh, it looks under baked. I like that. Oh gosh. We got some y’all want some chocolate milk. Oh Boy. It’s so refreshing. If y’all want it. You can have it. Eh. -Is that a little weird to you? It’s baking soda-y. You know that kind of like coating your tongue thing. It’s got something in it. Oh, baking soda. That’s not for me. That’s too bad. That was a good looking. It looks great. It tastes. Do you like that? Literally awful. I think. I also – I think Link likes it. It’s the worst. It tastes the most like “Soft Batch” Chips Ahoy, I’ll tell you that much. Though that’s probably why he likes it. I tell y’all don’t put word- don’t put word in a boy’s mouth. You like it though. Don’t you? I’m just over here eating, But, you like it. We can tell. When you eat something and then you immediately take another bite. It means you like it because if you don’t like something, you take like half bite and then you start moving towards the trash. I think it’s pretty good. Yeah. See, not putting words in your mouth. It’s not Jimmy John’s but, I’m gonna put it at number two. ’cause at least it’s soft. It is soft. Oh gosh. Look at this. Kentucky Fried Cookies. These Look hard. Gracious. How many more do we have? That’s it. I’m gonna have to break it into my refreshing chocolate milk. Just to get through this. My hands are too cookie coated to open. These are buttery, buttery hands. I mean look at this thing. – Like a little raccoon. Has anybody ever eaten this or, are they just sitting on shelves for years? Oh, Davin’s like, yeah. Yeah. This is from like 1985. Ooh. crumbled right into my hand. This feels. The gradient on this thing is strange. It goes from like totally white to like, real burnt edge. They only baked it from the sides. This is like an airplane cookie. The Colonel ran around it with a little blow torch. Yeah. It’s a weird after chase I think. Yeah. That is, that is bad. Taste like newspaper. Yeah. It’s like a punishment cookie. I need a little newspaper to compare it to. Like a very passive aggressive cookie. You’re like, here you go. Davin, you like this? I mean that’s the only one I find too, so. Out of all cookies. Well. This is by far the worst cookie that’s strewn across our table. KFC’s worse than Starbucks. Oh my gosh. That’s bad. All right. I’m gonna go in for some milk. I, I just can’t I can’t not go in for milk. Okay. Well I’m saying that I actually, I actually think that the Jimmy Johns, not only is it the best, I think it’s kind of the most Trevor like, because I mean, you know, they’re pretty similar in size, chocolate distribution. It is more satisfying than the McDonald’s cookie. I will say that. It’s also, I think the different types of chocolate chips in it, I think there’s two or three different types of chocolate chips makes me think that someone made it. Do you know what I mean? Like it seems like something my mom would do of just be like, oh, I got a bunch of stuff. I’ll throw it in there. Finding chocolate chips, wherever you can find it. Link, how’s that milk? It’s not good. Don’t, don’t drink the chocolate milk. Did you shake it? What’s wrong with it? because you don’t need to drink it. You don’t, chocolate milk with chocolate chips does, is not good because. It’s not a palate cleanser. Because you’ve had too much chocolate. And then you’re like eating this like un-chocolate-ed chocolate milk is what it tastes like. I just push my straw all the way in. Now you have to squeeze it in your mouth. But I just need the consistency of milk in my. It’s pretty good Kirkland. 2%. You gonna try some of that. Fascinated. My hands feels so dirty. I can’t touch anything. I’m like, I’m afraid. I’m just not gonna be able to get the straw honestly. Okay, good. Okay. Nope. I didn’t. Whatever. We have destroy some cookies. Okay. So yeah. I, I feel like I’m , I, I’m on team. It’s not the best chocolate milk. Mc- McDonald’s , Jimmy John’s then Subway. If they weren’t rubbed against rosemary. That’s what, that’s my final answer. Y’all gotta separate the rosemary and the cookies at Subway and then we’ll be on team Subway . Sure. I think I’m Jimmy John’s, McDonald’s , uh what was the oth-? You liked Burger King. Burger King! I loved Burger King, I’m sorry. And I, you know what? You need to apologize. I’m sorry. I liked Burger King. I’m gonna take, I’m gonna take this opportunity to get back on my chocolate chip cookie soap box and say chocolate chip-less chocolate chip cookies is the best. Is that not a sugar cookie? That’s what, that’s what’s needed. No. Okay. go ahead. Why would you want that? ‘Cause it that’s the part that tastes good. Like when I’m eating a chocolate chip cookie, I’m like with, Trevor’s right here. I’m trying to dodge the chocolate. Wow. The exact opposite of how I eat a chocolate chip cookie. Well. The exact opposite of how most people eat a chocolate chip cookie. If I eat chocolate chip cookie dough, I’ll put it in my mouth and I’ll eat all the cookie dough and then I’ll spit out the chocolate chips. Wow. Like it’s sunflower seeds. – Yeah. I mean, it just tastes so good by itself. It’s I like chocolate, but I love choc- I love the cookie dough taste. I don’t disagree with that. And I think if it’s in a dough form, then yeah, the chocolate chips, aren’t gonna add much to it. So I agree with that. If it’s a plain dough then like, yeah. See, this is a nice demonstration of all the different palates that you could have and, and all the people that are over at sporked who disagree That’s right. -[Stevie] And agree. Yep. With all these things at sporked.com, at sporked.com, sporked.com, Sporked.com sporked.com. Sporked.com. You guys are doing good work. Thank you. Boss. Oh, no. I lost the straw too. I’m trying to get it out with my teeth. It’s pretty easy to happen. Kirkland y’all need to make longer straws. They do extend. They just fall apart. I feel like I need to be hosed off. I feel like I have so much. I’m definitely stained most of what I’m wearing. Cookie on me. Bring in the hose. Justine’s gonna lay down and then hose you off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To get the Rhett and Link, sing Brooks and Dunn vinyl. Join third degree, quarterly or annual by June 30th, mythicalsociety.com for details.