Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Are you a cheese lover? Are you a pun lover? Are you a celebrity lover? Well, the trifecta is happening today for you. That’s what we try to do every time. But first let’s play, “Who you talkin’ about?” We’re gonna read a comment about one of us and guess who it was about. Rainer Robinson says- Rainer. That’d make a great weather person. First of all. Rainer. Over to, Rainer. Tell us about the fronts. Unfortunately, it’s gonna be a dry one out there today. Dry one. Blank, just set the world record for loudest utterance of the words pit stains. Pit stains? I mean, you’ll have a loud utterance. Yeah. I could definitely hear you saying it right now, “Pit Stains, Rhett.” I’m gonna say Link. Daddy like that? Daddy don’t like pit stains. Oh. See! That was me. Yep. I just saw me say it. Yep. I mean there’s the proof right there. And I actually didn’t say it that loud. That wasn’t the loud, but I mean, it might be the loudest utterance of the word pit stains because most people probably say it pretty like, “You got pit stains. Ah pit stains. “Hey, go to the bathroom “you got pit stains.” That guy’s got pit stains. You can go to the bathroom with pit stains and what? I don’t know, wet your whole shirt. Yeah, even it out. If you got on a shirt that’s the right color. You can wet the whole thing, no one knows. Oh man. Pit, I mean, I just tend to keep my elbows down. His shirt was tan now it’s brown, cool. Must be post pit stains. See, that’s louder. I’ve out done myself. All right. Hey guys. Hey, what up? You what we’re doing. We’re looking at pictures of celebrities that have been- Photoshopped. With cheese things. And they have a name that is punny. And we’re trying to guess the pun cheesy celebrity name. Yeah, that’s exactly what we’re doing. Like Pepper Jack Black is probably one of them. I mean, just so you know. No, we wouldn’t stoop so low. But I’m just saying that’s an example. Well, all of these were actually made in-house by our very own Chappie. Our very- And she- Everyone should have a Chappie. Okay. Okay, here’s the first one. Condoleezza. Condocheese-a Rice. Awe, dang it. Nope. Condo, Condoleeza Rice. Condoleeza Slice. What? Ugh. Condocheese-a Slice. Oh it should be- Condocheese-a Slice. Yes. Condocheese-a Slice. Political. We’re getting political today. Yeah we are. The note like the, this one’s cute. I like this one. It’s like the cutest little cheese slice. Like, look at that little cheese slice nose. Felt Cute, might veto later. Oh. Vel-veto. Oh. Cheesy Name! Cheesy, cheesy Stevie. All right, let’s see another one. Sean. Sean Penn, Penne that would be the Sean. What’s the flaky Parmesan. Parma-Sean Penn. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah, there’s a dandruff thing going on. Yeah, yeah, that’s not appetizing. Also, maybe like sun damage. Sun damage Parma-Sean Penn. You know lights that you like, you can shine the… What is it? A black light. Is it like a UV light? You like shine over your face and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I have all this sun damage “that I didn’t know about that you can’t see “in regular light.” Yeah, I don’t shine those lights on my face. Yeah, don’t shine those lights on your face. You should stop doing that, Stevie. They probably do that right before they sell you some sort of skin treatment, right? Yeah. Yeah. Probably I’m too scared. Now, would you like Parma-Sean Penn with that? What was the waiter’s question? Would you like me to take your jacket? No, he said, would you like Parmesan with that? I think, and I thought he said, Where’d you get your jacket? And I was like, H&M. H&M. You still saw. Is this a midpoint story start or did I miss? This is a classic story, Stevie. This is a classic GMM story. This is going back. So I was at the Cheesecake Factory at the Americana, which is like, eye shot from the H&M. And that’s why I thought it was interesting that he was asking me about my jacket. ‘Cause it was like H&M, like I was like gesturing to like, “No that’s right.” I mean, you could get one right now. Just turn around. Would you like Parmesan with that? Your boss won’t even know. He’ll think you went on a smoke break. Where’d you get your jacket at? Would you like Parmesan with that? Oh H&M I didn’t really think. I mean, it’s pretty normal. It’s just a gray jacket. Is this not? There’s not even an ounce of remembrance of this story. What? Yeah! You weren’t here. You weren’t here for that. Oh. This is pre Stevie? This is pre Stevie. This is season- That’s a deep cut. Season one or two, yeah. That’s a super deep. And you thought he was asking if you wanted Parmesan, but he was asking about your jacket? No opposite. Can we complete this story? You know what? We’ll send you the link. Is it just me who doesn’t know the story. The opposite, he was asking about Parmesan. He was the waiter. I thought he was asking about my jacket. Would you like Parmesan with that? Would you like Parmesan with that? Is what he asked. You say pre Stevie as if that wasn’t like pre literally everyone else in this entire building. Yeah, but we’re talking to you. Sure. Yeah. Okay, how about this next one? Feta Haywood. Who is that? Who is that? It’s somebody named Greta. No, that’s not Greta that. Oh crap, who is that? Is that Feta cheese? It’s Feta cheese. I just don’t know who that is. What? It’s Etta James. Oh, Etta James. Feta James. Feta James. Oh, Etta James got that big square head. Look at that, she’s getting all SpongeBob. You typically don’t see Feta in its attached form. What is the original album title? At last! Okay, oh, you just added cheese. That’s pretty good Chappie. Same font and everything. I do feel like this is like a Lady Gaga, maybe even like St. Vincent type of like, literal head wear that you would see on an album cover? That’d be heavy though. If it were were- Well no, not made outta cheese, but just like made outta something. But this was like the look. Yeah, that is a look. I’m looking at it. I’m just thinking how much I like square hair. Yeah. You know what I’m saying? Like that’s something that should be happening. I don’t think it’s easy to do. Hold on, but like, has anyone done a giant square? Like a giant cube for hair? Like that might be like the 2023 thing. Like going out that far to the side. I mean you could- it’s a little SpongeBob. Yeah. It taste like wheat thins. Wheat. Wheat thins. Okay, how about this one? Who is that? Oh, that’s the guy from Twisted Sister. Is it? I think. Yeah. Twisted Swisster. Yeah. Oh, I was trying to think of his name. That was impressive. I don’t know. I don’t know if you should be proud, Hold on, hold on. of the fact you don’t know who Etta James is but you know who the- Hold on, hold on, wait. Let me, no, no, his name is… Okay, the reason I know this is because I specifically remember being a kid in the eighties in California like ’83. And seeing this video on MTV and feeling like my parents don’t know I’m watching this. He was like marching down the suburbs. His name is. What was that? I don’t know, Twisted Swisster. That’s good though. Was it, We’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore? Was that that video? That’s not his name. Snider. Yeah, and his first name is a letter of it. Zack A? F. Snider. Letter of a Snider. J. Snider. T. Snider. Let’s go with D. Snider. Dee Snider! There we go. That’s it. Dee Snider. Yeah. What, who’s he pointing at? Just a big thing of cheese. H&M. Yeah, oh, just right over there. Just turn around, that one. Where’d you get your jacket at? Right over there. Oh, it’s on the mannequin, right there. Hmm! We wanna invite you to listen to our podcast. It’s called “Ear Biscuits.” If you’ve never listened to it and you’re here in more. It’s like you’re at the level, give it a shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re prepped. You’re prepped and ready. You’re in the sink. You’re all buttered up. “Ear Biscuits.” Just open up your ears a little bit, let us in. We’re not gonna take it, that’s Kiss though. Huh? I think isn’t it? Who is it? It is? You are really a Twisted Sister guy. Actually not, but- It’s like one of your first memories? It was the first time. You’re like doing something you shouldn’t. You know, when we were kids and you would sit down and watch MTV, you would sit there and wait for the video that you wanted to see. We would always be waiting for- It was all music videos. Yeah. All the time. Isn’t that crazy? We would, my brother and I would sit there and wait for “Thriller” to come on, and then “Thriller” would come on and we would hold onto each other a little bit. And then- I mean, ’cause you were- And then my mom would come in and- You were six years old. And my mom was… So my brother was probably nine and I’m six. And my mom comes in and she’s just like, she sees, oh, she thinks this devil stuff. And she was like, “You shouldn’t.” We actually have an old recording, I don’t have it anymore. But like somewhere a tape, my brother was recording my mom getting upset- Really? About us watching Michael Jackson. And my brother was like saying, “It’s not that bad, mom.” Oh, man. We used to listen to it because it was like, this is when we lived in California and we talked like we were from California and then we moved- That’s a shame you lost that. To North Carolina and got a Southern accent. Have you asked him if he still might have it? Oh man, we don’t keep up with things. I think- MTV was just music videos. It was just streaming music videos. And then like Kurt Loder, like would come on and talk. Streaming, we weren’t streaming. Well, I just mean like- It broadcast. It was just back to back. They were like, “We’re only gonna broadcast.” It was like an OTT channel for music videos. It was literally the only place- Yeah it was. That you could see a music video. Yeah. And then VH1. It was your only option. Then VH, VH1 would also This pre VH1. Pre VH1. The first music video I remember seeing. I mean, I definitely remember “Hot For Teacher,” Van Halen. Yeah. That was around the same time, maybe a little later. Were you sitting around watching MTV in the 80s? Not at that point, no, so it was like, but I remember “Hot for Teacher.” He was in a classroom and there was a hot teacher. Yeah. Who was the hot teacher? Morgan, I’m looking at you again. Come on, who was the… Let’s find out who the hot teacher in “Hot for Teacher” was. And we’ll see another one while we’re at it. Hit it, Chappie. Lucy, Lisa, Lucy, Bluesy Lou. Lucy Blue. Bluesy Blue. Lucy Blue. Lucy Blue. Lucy Blue. Bluesy. We were all over that, but not anywhere close for a while there. Is that the dress that she was wearing originally, it looks like it’s superimposed, like you. That is the original dress. It’s about to fall off, so blue cheese? So looking at how blue cheese make somebody look like a zombie, but kind of like a sexy zombie. Imagine what? She smells like, that stink. I like blue cheese. It was Lillian Mueller. Oh, that’s not anybody famous. Mueller. Hot for Teacher. How odd- Can I read the lyrics to “Hot for Teacher?” Sitting down for an hour to watch random music videos that you didn’t know what it was gonna be? How did they curate that? If you liked Van Halen, there would also like Michael Jackson. There weren’t that many. If you sat down then to watch MTV- So then it would repeat? Oh yeah, “Thriller” was playing multiple times a day. But there wasn’t a TV guide for music videos. No. ‘Cause you have to- But think about it. You had to be such a big band to have a music video, to like literally commit to making a film. It wasn’t like these days where like, oh let’s just crap out a music video on a Saturday. It was, you had to have… It was so expensive. So it was only the top acts had music videos. So it was only the, the top acts had music videos. So I don’t know how many there would’ve been in 1983, “Hot for Teacher” was 1984. “Oh, wow, man!” I said, “Wait a second, man.” I said, wait a second, man.” Well, you scrolled too far. “What do you think the teacher’s gonna look like this year?” F-word, man. F-word? Really? “Oh yeah. Teacher.” “Oh yeah. T-T-teacher.” They edited that out of the… This is not the radio edit. “Teacher stop that screamin’ “Teacher don’t you see? “Don’t wanna be no uptown fool. “Maybe I should go to hell, but I am doing well “teacher needs to see me after school.” Yep. And then if you skip to the end here. “Hey, I heard you missed us, we’re back. “I brought my pencil, “give me something to write on, man, whoa!” Uh-oh, I brought my pencil. “Oh man, I think the clock is slow. “What are you doing this weekend? “I don’t feel tardy. “Class dismissed.” I’m missing, wait, hold on. I think I’m really… I’m missing the innuendo of, okay, I have a pencil give me something to write on. Like, boobs? Like that wouldn’t work. That would really hurt. You can’t write on boobs with a pencil. Well. Am I missing it? Yeah, maybe. Oh yeah, I’ve got it bad. Got it bad, got it bad. You don’t know either. I’m hot for teacher. I have a pencil, give me something to write on. Is that sexy? Hey. Oh yeah. I have a pencil, give me something to write on. Yeah, it is. You gotta see the video. That’s really what makes it. Little girl from Cherry Lawn, how can you be so bold? How did you know that golden rule? What? You gotta see the video. Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. In this context, I think I understand it. You know what I’m talking about? I think of all the education- That’s a special number That I’ve missed, but then my homework was never quite like this. Well, and so the teacher was also a little girl who knew the golden rule? No, you know, it just- She was a little girl. It’s a term of endearment. It’s really fallen out of fashion. But back in the eighties you might call your older teacher a little girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m not trying to defend it. I’m just trying to explain it. Next one. Rick. Let’s see. What kind of? Cream cheese Rick Ross. That’s not cream cheese, that is- What is- It’s a creamier cheese. A creamier cheese? Rick. Brick? Is there a cheese called brick? Ross, Ross, Ross. Perhaps you would have it on an artisan pizza in little clumps or- Ba-Rick, Ba-Rick Ross. Burrata. Rick Burrata. Or perhaps like- Bara, baralsa, Rick- Rick Bara-baralsa. Malsa Rick Ross, Yeah no. It’s not Burrata? It’s not Burrata, or Mozzarella. What is in clumps? What is the clumps on the pizza? It’s- Ugh! Or maybe if you had like a nice French toast from squirrel pre you know- Squirrel! When the squirrel brings you French toast? We need a hipster. We need the hipster translation. Come on, you can picture that toast. But what kind of cheese. Has some jam on it and some kind of cheese on it. Oh, Brie. No. Brie Ross. And it’s on the pizza, but it’s not, I know it’s not Burrata. I know what you’re talking about. And it’s not Ricotta. And it starts- Rick-otta Ross! It’s not Ricotta, but it is, Rick-otta Ross. Rick-otta Ross. That’s not the cheese that has Rick in it, is it? That’s Ricotta? We’ll never know. I think it is, I think if- You know what? I like Ricotta. I like the bland cheese. I was boutta say you like them, because one time you were eating something- Cottage cheese. You were like cottage cheese is the best cheese, right? From a man who does not like cheese. It’s a great cheese, cottage cheese. The least cheese-like cheese. Yeah, it’s more like- It’s like the wet flavorless cheese. That’s my favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah. All right. How about this one? Tina Turner. Oh, her skin is the cheese. Che- Tina? Tina Gouda. This is gonna be tough if Rick-otta was tough. Tina. The cheese that has Tina in it. Patina. That’s not a cheese. Teen Parsh-emina. Fontina Turner. Oh, that’s it! Yes. Yes, Fontina cheese. What is Fontina cheese? I don’t know, man. I love the cheese section. I was at the grocery store yesterday. Yeah, tell me about it. Two days ago. Oh, well hold on now. Get your story straight. Yeah, right, that cheese has expired. Two days ago and I walked past the Cheese Island. I was actually thinking about the main thing that I’m going to miss when the apocalypse comes is grocery stores. I was like, the fact that I can just walk around this bounty that is so unrivaled in the history of humanity, it’s not even fair- That’s a good point. That you can just see all this stuff and then you just go to this, it’s a Cheese Island. There was a woman in the middle of the Cheese Island. You know? What? You talking about our grocery store. Yeah. What do you mean? There’s a Cheese Island? What do you mean in the middle of the Cheese Island? Like in the deli section, but then there’s this. This first of all, there’s a Cheese Island in most grocery stores, but yeah, the fact that the grocery store that you and I go to most often has a Cheese Island and you don’t know that it exists. How, you shouldn’t even have been allowed, we should have had a tag team. Somebody tag in for Link to taste cheeses. No, no, no, I’m confused. Why was there an- Christy’s a cheese girl. How was there a woman in the middle of Cheese Island? I think she’s trapped. And I think you have to eat your way to her and let her out. I think, that’s what I try to do. They kick me out. These are good. It’s a cheese counter and there’s a cold- Oh like a deli, like a- But separate from the deli, on its own island. And she’s in the middle. But it’s deli adjacent. Yeah, but the whole exterior is cheese. And before the pandemic, she would always have samples, always have samples ready to go. And I would always go when I got there and then I would make another lap before I left. Be like same cheese. Would you wear, would you wear a wig? No, they knew, they knew I was coming back. You knew when the shift change was. Man, I just love it so much though. It’s so overwhelming and I just love cheese and I love that Cheese Island. I love that woman. Let’s make sure we get through all these ’cause Chappie’s done some good work here. That’s right, that’s right. Oh, this is Curd-y B. Oh nice! Cheese Curd-y B. You’re really good at this, Link. All right, hit me. Mostly because you can… You know who the celebrities are. Not that I don’t know who Cardi B is, but it takes me a second to remember someone’s name. That’s a good one. This next one’s our last one and it is challenging ’cause I’ve never heard of this cheese in this last one. Okay, is that the guy from that band? And he also is like a host of The Voice. Adam Sandler, what’s his name? Adam Levine. Adam Levine, okay. So now that we got that figured out. Chatham. Okay, that- What is that? Okay, that cheese, I’ve seen it at the island. It’s like a farm cheese. It’s a hoop cheese. No, it’s not a hoop cheese. It’s got red around it. It’s- Adam Levine. I think it’s on the Adam. This is a semi-hard cheese that originated in the Netherlands. Gouda. No, I like cheese. I told you, I didn’t know this cheese. Oh. How-da. This cheese is- We’ve been- Similar to- his first name. To the Netherlands. Chatham. Madam. Fadum. Ladam? Shnadam. Zadam. Kadam. Wadam. Zadam. Ladam. Padam. Kadam? Nadam? Padam. Quadam. Quadam, we’ve gone through all the alphabet, Sadam. Yeah, and honestly, I don’t even know how to really pronounce this cheese. It could be Edam. Oh, Edam! Oh, Edam! Or Edam. Yes. Yeah, Edam Levine. I’ve had this cheese. It’s very good. All right. Well, I’m glad we went out on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The most appetizing part of this is the hair on the cheese. The beard cheese. Nobody’s trying anymore. Cheese beard. To get the Rhett & Link Sing Brooks & Dunn vinyl join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by June 30th, mythicalsociety.com for details.