Hey, welcome to Good Mythical More. I’m Link. This is Rhett. I have a… An item from the wheel on my shoulder. We’re gonna… It’s time to list ’em all. Oh, I didn’t get to say what we were gonna do. Say what we were gonna do. We’re going to be presented with book covers and then we’re gonna judge what the titles, which are censored, say when they’re uncensored. Judge, guess. We’re gonna guess the book title, censored book titles. We’re gonna judge a book by its cover. When we play list ’em all, we list things back and forth until we run out. And we’re never good at it. Oh, gosh. This one should be easier for us but I doubt that you are gonna be… You always preface that it should be easy and then we suck at it. Everything we’ve willed. Taco. Oh, you talking about… Oh. Yeah, everything that we’ve willed. I was thinking about my will, like, “I’m giving everything away. I’m not taking anything with me.” Pizza. Burrito. Lasagna. Cake. Sausage. Pie. Hot dog. Big Mac. Smoothie. Oreo. “Will It Hot Pocket?” Will it… Quesadilla, did we do that? Double-awesome. Yes, we did. Yes, we did that. Yep. “Will It Double-Awesome?” That’s a good one. Okay, I’m running out. I’m running low. Well, “Will It Shorts?” “Will it Chair?” “Will It Shoes?” Will it… “Will It Ice Cream Sundae?” “Will It Umbrella?” “Will It Ice Cream?” “Will It Ice Cream Sandwich?” Sandwich. Will it… We did not do that? Yeah, we did. Oh, we did it. Will it… I’m done. That’s all we did. “Will It Green Bean” Umbrella? “Will it Umbrella?” Yeah. Umbrella was recently. We should have remembered that one ’cause it was different. Well, there’s a lot of them that we didn’t say that we have done. All right, let’s see a book cover. “Old Tractors and the Men Who blank, blank.” So this is real written by Roger Welsch. “How to Keep Your Tractors Happy and Your Family Running.” “And the Men Who Hugged Them.” “And the Men Who Rubbed Them.” He’s rubbing one right now. “Old Tractors and the Men Who…” I mean, you’re not far off. Yeah, I think I actually know what this is. I mean, this is… “The Men Who…” How could it not be? What? “Love Them.” How could it not be “Love Them”? I said “Keep Them.” “The Men Who Keep Them.” He loves that tractor. He doesn’t just keep it. Yeah, he loves it. I mean, look at it. “And the Men Who Love Them.” That is great. Isn’t that sweet? How do you love the tractor? It’s a… Well, how’s he loving it? Yeah. “It’s a book of essays filled with lighthearted tips for saving your marriage from ruin after cleaning your tractor parts in the dishwasher and other clever restoration technique.” Roger Welsch. Techniques. Okay. Is that Roger Welsch right there? I hope so. No, I think that’s a model. That’s a farmer model. It’s a farmer model. “Anybody Can Be Cool.” “But Dorkiness Takes Practice.” Lorraine Peterson. Now what are those people doing? This is obviously, like, 80s. These are devotionals for teens. Oh, there’s a hint. “Anybody Can Be Cool…” “But Loving Jesus Takes Practice”? It’s gotta be. I mean, it’s gotta be. “Anybody Can Be Cool… But Virginity Takes Practice.” It didn’t take me much practice. I was practicing a lot to lose it one day. “But Godliness Takes Practice”? I went with kindness. I think godliness might be too on the nose. You’re in the right territory, But it’s a cooler word. It’s like cooler than cool. Oh. “But Radness…” But also has, like, a spiritual double meaning? No, they’re trying to trick you into reading the book, I think. “Anybody Can Be Cool… But Being Gnarly Takes Practice.” But a cool word for cool? “Anybody Can Be Cool…” Ah, yeah. “But Hipness…” Yeah, you’re in the right, like, territory, but… “Takes Practice.” “Anybody Can…” “Awesome Takes Practice.” Yeah, yep, yep. There you go. Oh. Oh, really? “Awesome Takes Practice.” “Anybody Can Be Cool… But Awesome Takes Practice.” Lorraine. So is… This book… So is John Tesh leading a small group bible study there? Is that what’s happening? I hope so. I’d go to that. It’s just like… Is he a leader of a group of women who are… He definitely seems to be… I mean, this is consistent with what I remember, the white guy gets to do all the talking. What is the… “It encourages young people to apply the power of their faith and value in Christ to the issues facing them at schoolwork, and with friends and family.” “Awesome Takes Practice.” Oh. Might have to read it, now that you put it that way. “The Best Dad Is A Good…” Not “Dad,” obviously. “Whisperer.” “Hair Smeller.” “Neck Tonguer.” Look at how the mom is, like, palming the daughter’s head. “Don’t look, honey.” Like, “Oh, my God. Not in front of the baby. Oh, oh.” I’m confused by the… Jazz. Kid’s hair? Yeah, it’s something about the way the shadow and the sleeve. The sleeve. But this is by Charlie W. Shedd, “Author of the million-copy bestseller, ‘Letters to Karen’”? “It’s a really delightful, practical guide to fathering.” He sold a lot of those. “The Best Dad is a Good…” “The Best Dad is a Good…” Well, I mean, based on the posture here and, like, the unspoken tension… “The Best Dad is a Good Lover.” Well, that’s what I said, but then I put what I think it actually might be underneath it, “Man.” Just “A Good Man.” “The Best Dad is a Good Man.” “The Best Dad is a Good Lover.” Oh! Wow. Okay. See, but you didn’t mean it, so I should get the point. You can have that point if you want. You wrote it as a joke. Yeah, actually. But the weird thing is is, like, you would think with that title, the book is about, like, sex. Like, he needs to, like… Yeah. Be good. But it says that it’s intended to teach dads how to build relationships with their children and make them feel loved. Well, there’s another word for that. Yeah, he’s not… The Best Dad is Loving,” You can’t… Not “A Good Lover.” He’s hiding behind the mom. How… He’s shy. “The Best Dad is Very Shy.” It’s so weird. So weird. Yeah, here we go. “Still blank…” “Horny After 25 Years.” Yeah, that 25-year old woman is… Now this is from… Looks older than that. This is from “Quilt in a Day,” I will say that. “Still Vesting After 25 Years.” I’ve seen this book, maybe in person. I swear I’ve seen this before. You know, “Quilt in a Day” had their 25th anniversary in 2003, which mean they’re about to have their 45th anniversary next year. We should go to it. I mean, I’m gonna be 45. I show up at the “Quilt in a Day” 45-year anniversary. You know, you’ll probably be 45. She’s 78. We’ve been around as long as “Quilt in a Day.” We should go for, like, a big celebration. What do you think about my idea? I can’t listen to it ’cause I feel like I’m about to get this. “Still…” This is.. “Still Blanket.” Ridiculous. Like, this title is ridiculous. I know. I feel like I’ve seen it. Uh-huh. Okay. Look at her face. What is her belt? Is that a rope? I hope so, but I’m not pulling on it. I cannot remember what it is, but I know it’s crazy. It’s not “Bangin’.” Yeah, it might be “Sexting.” “Still Sexting After 25 Years,” which the technology doesn’t really line up, but to these people who make quilts, get to things early. “Still Poking”? They’re early adopters. “Still Bobbing and Weaving.” “Still…” “Still Needling.” “Still threading.” “Still threading.” “Still…” “Still,” what? What is it? “Still Stripping After 25 Years.” Oh! Yes, girl. Take off that vest! So stripping is obviously a quilting term? Yeah. Strip quilting, I guess. Ah. So they’ve got a good sense of humor, those Eleanor Burns. Eleanor’s in on the joke. Look at her. That’s a banging cover, Eleanor. Oh. She’s throwing strips in the air. Oh. I didn’t see those until right now. I mean, probably isn’t… She’s throwing strips. Hmm. “Hot Dog is a Sandwich,” We want you to check out that podcast. Josh and Nicole, they debate culinary quandaries of controversy and they have a phone number now. Mm-hmm, call ’em up. 1833-DOG-POD1. Leave your hot food takes for Josh and Nicole. To dissect. Yeah, to dice up. “The Loneliest blank in the World.” This is by Travis Heaton, illustrated by Gary Andrews. He’s holding something that might be the loneliest thing ’cause it’s been blurred. “The Loneliest Eggplant in the World.” Trying to think of what he could be holding. The way that he’s looking at it is suspicious. But the way that the reindeer is looking at it is… He wants to eat it. Ooh, yeah. He’s excited about it. So it’s something that Santa just… He has trust issues with it, but the reindeer is all about it. Notice that. Is it a coloring book? His hands, something in his hand’s also blurred. Well, yeah. That’s what I was saying. Whatever the thing is… That’s all we’ve been talking about Is that thing… Oh, wasn’t listening. And it’s purple. But really, I was asking what that was that was blurred. I mean, it could be a bird, it could be a penguin. It could be… So now I know that you don’t know. What would it be up there in the North Pole? “The Loneliest…” Is the color a hint? No. I haven’t heard any, like, dirty guesses from you. So I didn’t… Well, I said eggplant. Eh. Then, okay, “The Loneliest Dildo in the World.” Does that make you happy? That’s what I thought you were gonna say, yeah. And that’s correct! No. What is it? Why would a reindeer be really into it? Reindeers are into more stuff than you realize. You ever met one? Could it be a pop tart? Okay, I think I got it. I have no clue. This is just… Ask Nicole. Ask Nicole? Nicole. Oh, too bad. Call it, call that phone number. She’s already gone. DOG-POD1, see if she answers. 1833-DOG-POD1. All right, I’m pretty confident. I think it’s “The Loneliest Grape in the World.” I literally am just going… I have nothing. “The Loneliest Blank in the World.” There’s nothing I can even guess. I mean, it’s a difficult one. It’s “The Loneliest Ho in the World.” What is a ho? It’s confusing. The description says, “Santa is feeling very pleased with himself. The Christmas sleigh ride…” Oh, he’s smug. “Has been a great success, and every gift has been delivered safely. Suddenly, as he settles happily by the fire, he hears a sound, ‘Ho!’ It says, ‘What about me?’ And so begins Santa’s strangest and funniest adventure.” It’s a lonely ho that can’t find the other hos? There’s two more hos. Hos travel in threes. Threes. We all know that. For Santa. You know, so, a lonely ho. Wow. “Learning to Play with a Lion’s…” Mm-hmm, “Feelings.” “Unexpected Gifts from the Animals of Africa.” So that lion’s unexpected gift that you can play with… “Learning to Play with Lion’s Crap.” Just like a tub of lion turd. With a dung. “Learning to Play with…” It could be “Learning To Play with The Lion’s Urine.” Lion’s… You know, you could do a lot of things with that. Send it to somebody as a gift. I wouldn’t play with the mane. That would be really dangerous. Or the tail. “Learning to Play with a Lion’s…” I mean, it’s probably not penis. I think it is feelings, the more I think about it. Is there something about the expression of the lion’s face that could pull from? “Learning to Play with a Lion’s Future.” He seems kind of stoic, Stevie. Uh-huh. “Learning to Play with a Lion’s…” “Death.” “Worldview.” “Learning to Play with a Lion’s Insecurities.” That’s how you get ’em. They’re attacking, you’re like, “Man, your mane is kind of patchy.” Something about his face? Melissa Haynes. What’s Melissa been playing with a lion? “Learning to Play with Lion’s…” “Past”? You say, “Past”? “Makeup”? He’s, like, looking back, he’s thinking about his life, he’s thinking about his younger days. “Saddle.” “Learning to Play with a Lion’s…” What do you mean, “Look at his face”? I mean… “Safety.” It’s not really a hint, but it’s kind of funny… “Learning…” When you know the title… “To Play..” Of the book. “With a Lion’s…” I don’t know. It’s like you’re playing with something and the lion’s making that face, because you’re playing with that thing. Expectations? Paw. “Learning to Play with a Lion’s Testicles.” He’s like, “Hey, who’s back there?” Hold on. Okay. Give us some context for this. So, “Playing with a Lion’s Testicles” is a term in Africa that means to take foolhardy chances. Oh, God. Is it worth it? I mean, is the risk… It’s not literal. Worth taking? It’s not literal. I thought there might be like a sport that I didn’t know about that you used, like the cut-off testicles. There was like a kind of a golf situation. Or it’s like you have to run up to the lion, touch his testicles, and run back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it’s just a metaphor. Good. “Mom Is Dating blank blank,” Mary Jane Auch. Okay, obviously, we got some sort of vampire, Dracula situation. We’ve got a kid in a lizard costume, could be a dino. He’s scared. The two moms here are considerably shorter than Dracula. Two moms? I think that’s a sister. Oh. But, hey listen, I mean, if it’s two moms, that’s cool. Right. But I don’t think it is, in this case. Which mom is dating Dracula? Oh, “Mom Is Dating A Weirdo?” What if he has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a vampire? You know, this is one of his iterations. Who’s a famous vampire, who played a… “Mom Is Dating Brad Pitt.” You know, he played a famous… Tom Cruise, they also played a vampire. But it looks vintage, so you think it’s like a throwback cover and it’s modern. “Mom Is Dating…” “Count Chocula.” Awesome dude. What about the Sesame Street guy who counts? The Count? “The Mom Is Dating The Count.” Both blanks are exactly the same size. That’s what’s throwing me off. Yeah, yeah. “Mom Is Dating Your Dad.” “Mister Blister.” I’m trying to think of two words that are the same. You kind of are… Yeah. I mean, that’s the right direction. Okay. I’ve got it. “Mom Is Dating Blood Boy,” Right? Mm. Not Blood Boy, huh? This has kind of a double meaning. “Mom Is Dating Count Mount.” If y’all know what I think, you know. This is a romance novel. Yeah. “Mom Is Dating Weird Wayne.” Oh, I did. I said weird. Hold on, I said a weirdo earlier, so I was right. It’s not about him being a vampire. “Weird Wayne.” Poor Wayne dressing up like a… That’s a hell of a stepdad, you know? What a weirdo. It’s all about young Jenna’s efforts to prevent her mom’s new wacky weatherman boyfriend, Wayne Weston, from becoming part of the family. Weird Wayne Weston, the weatherman. Wacky weatherman. Weird Wayne Weston, the wacky weatherman. Who dresses like Dracula. Wow, what a… You know what, anybody can write a book. We’ve written, too. Okay. Check out “A Hot Dog is a Sandwich” where Josh and Nicole serve up the most controversial culinary quandaries and leave your food hot takes at 1833-DOG-POD1.