Oh, yo, yeah. My seat hit the wheel. You did it. You wanted to stop on 10 word story. Yeah, sure. Welcome to “Good Mythical More,” Because there wasn’t enough hotness. You needed some more hotness. Actually a little coldness. This is gonna be great. We’re gonna decide which is better through straws versus not. It’s very controversial. But first, but first, ten word story. You start. That means you would finish. That’s right. Okay. Danny. Keeps. Finches. Alive. Because. Dead. Because what? Dead. Finches. Don’t. Love. Danny’s. Hey, we just told a good story. Yes, we did. Danny keeps finches alive because dead finches don’t love Danny’s. Every good Danny knows that. That’s one of the best stories we’ve ever told. It’s called “Danny Boy.” Once upon a time, there was a boy named Danny, who loved his finches. But he would kill them. No, no, no, no. He didn’t kill them. This is a fat straw. He kept ’em alive. Now I’m glad we’re starting with what I presume is a milkshake. And you’re drinking it through the straw? Oh, it’s not a milkshake. Oh. Yeah, it’s a milkshake. See, when you’ve burned your lip, you want to drink it, and you want to put that lip down in it. I stuck my whole lips into that soup. I really don’t know how you didn’t burn your face- I burnt- when you went into the soup. I’ve burnt my hands, my lips, my mouth, and my tongue so many times, because I eat so fast, that they have probably like four or five extra layers of skin that yours don’t, because you’ve treated ’em too sensitively. Well, that makes sense for Josh, but- It’s like a tank. You’re not a tank. It’s like, no, it’s like leather. But you don’t- Inside of my mouth is like leather. You don’t eat hot temperature foods that often. Yeah, I do. I don’t ever slow down because something is hot. and I’m not saying I don’t get burned, I’m just saying I’ve been burned, I think I was burned so many times as a kid, that I build up a protective layer. You could go back in time, and you can do it too. Okay, so this More is all about, you know, some beverages taste, well, the question is do they taste better without a straw or better with a straw? Or is there preferred way to drink them with or without a straw? Well, shakes. Shakes. The way that I- “Shakes” is what he said. The way that I shakes is I prefer a straw, but I use it like a spoon. I don’t know why, but that’s what I do. I’ll do this. ‘Cause you’re not saying “Straw or spoon.” You’re saying straw or drink it like this, right? Yeah. Yeah, you don’t wanna drink a shake. You wanna- Not one this thick. You wanna straw a shake. And then, if it’s a super thick one, If it’s a cookout shake, whoo. If it’s like a cookout shake- Oh boy. I love to eat the shake with the straw like it’s a spoon. There’s something about it just sticking to it. How- You can’t even eat a cookout shake with the straw when you get to the- Not through the straw. Yeah. No, no. I mean, like- What about a smoothie though? With the straw as a spoon, if you get to like the lower portion, at least the cookout shakes that I like, ’cause they’re so, like, I get an Oreo shake, and all the Oreo pieces kind of slowly float to the bottom. So like the bottom two inches of the cup is all, like, Oreo pieces. You can’t take a straw and make it into a spoon for that thickness. Yeah, that’s a spoon situation, but- I’m just showing you what I do. But with a smoothie, I make my smoothie, like my morning smoothie, which I don’t do every morning; but when I do it, I make it where I can take it and put it in one of those workout bottle thing with a little pop top. So… ’cause I don’t like to get it on my mustache and I go like this. Really? Yeah. ‘Cause if I take a- You like a thin, thin, thin smoothie? This is all about efficiency. My smoothie tastes like death because it’s made to give you life. It’s not about enjoyment, it’s about nutrients. Oh. It’s like a pre-workout situation. It’s got like that green stuff in it. It’s just healthy. It’s not horrible, but I’m making all the decisions based on health, and so I want to get it down as quickly as possible. So I literally, this is how long it takes me to do my smoothie. That’s how long it takes him to do his smoothie. And then I’m done. And then I go on about my day. It takes me about 10 minutes to eat my smoothie ’cause I eat it with a spoon. But is it the consistency- We all know how you eat your smoothie, Link. Is it thin enough to drink? Yeah. That seems, it’s like eating soup. It’s like eating cold soup. “It’s like eating soup, man.” So, but I don’t use a straw because, you know you don’t wanna use a straw unless you have to. Especially if it’s like a trash straw. Like a straw that then goes in the trash. This is paper. So that’s recyclable. That’s nice. But- Well, actually- There’s a lot of places that don’t give you straws that are– I believe in– The best straw is no straw. I believe in the approach of the environmentally friendly straws. So you need to be justified when you say, “Yes, I would like a straw.” A lot of places around here don’t even give you a straw. I just think that we haven’t figured out the environmentally friendly straws yet. The paper straws- Not it. No bueno. They’re just horrible. It’s not working. There’s some that like, are made out of almost like a plastic, but it’s not a plastic. It’s like a biodegradable. Those are almost good enough. But a milkshake might be one of those things that you need a straw for. If it’s between straw and just drinking with the cup, it’s straw all the way. It has to be. Because when you’re doing this, you get the chunks that hit you in the nose. You don’t want nose chunks. So let’s leave that for later. And now- Grape juice. You want to go with the, all right. So we’re simulating wine by drinking grape juice. This is just like the grape juice in the Bible. Okay. Mine blends in with my- It’s grape juice, it’s not wine. It’s like it’s blood. Like, no, I’m just gonna drink the blood. Welch’s. That’s nice. Now you know, when you have a wine glass, it’s supposed to be designed to not turn over when you hit it, but you just bury your nose in there and then you turn it up. What was that noise? Something happened to my throat. Oh, I thought it was technique. And then- Okay, see these straws a little bit better. I’ve never had a simulated wine with a straw. Now, I- “Can I have a straw for my wine?” I’ve been told that drinking wine through a straw is if you don’t want to get your teeth stained. Oh! So, this is super bougie. Is it bad and bougie? I kind of like the way that went in my mouth. Who says I can’t drink wine with a straw? But when the wine goes in your mouth, you’re supposed to swish it around. That’s proper technique. No, I want it to go right in the back and go down. ‘Cause you don’t wanna mess up those teeth that nobody ever sees. I want it to go, I get the straw. How deep is the straw go in your mouth when you straw? Mine’s touching the back. It’s touching the back. It’s deep within the throat. Yeah. My straw hits that little- Punching bag? Punching bag in the back. Can you get the straw up to your punching bag? Oh, that straw’s at the very begin- get the straw to the punching bag. I’m demonstrating where I suck on the straw. Well, can you try my technique? I’ll do yours. I don’t have a uvula, dude, it burned off whenever they removed my tonsils. Okay. Even better: now you can go through it. Ahh. See? Go all the way to the back. Ahh. No, it just came down. No, now look, relax. It, oh, you got one. Let me take a picture of it. Oh, it came back? Dude, you’ve been saying “Ahh,” like, watch. Let me just do a video of it. I’ll show you. Ahh. Hold on. Let me get, I gotta expose for the inside of your mouth. I gotta go light. I’m sorry. How do I do the video light? I’m old. Stop the video, first. Oh, stop the video. Okay. Now. it’s still not working. Where do we go? Okay, that is cool, now relax. Okay, look, look how much it comes back. So there you are. Okay, now relax. Watch. But do you see, it’s only half of a uvula. No, it’s not! How- No. Ahh. Ahh. You have less of a uvula than me, dude. Let me put it on your phone ’cause I don’t want it on my phone. Yeah, ’cause I’ve been hitting it with a straw. I was already filming. Three, two. Ahhh. Put your tongue down. Tilt your head up. Uh… Did you get it? Let’s watch that. Is that how I sound? Put your tongue down. Yeah, pretty much. Put your tongue down. If that’s the question, yeah, that’s exactly how you sound. Pick your head up. So yeah, I’ve been hit my uvula with my straw. Now how about you? See how deep you can get it? You don’t even taste it. It goes, Yeah. He goes Oh god. It just bypasses the whole mouth. Yeah, it’s like an enema for your throat. Like if you were at a party, and they had bad wine, you’d be like, “Give me a second.” Can I have a straw? It’s all the way in the back. It’s hard. It’s hard to suck like that. Seriously, when they removed my tonsils, they have to burn ’em, to like cauterize it where they remove your tonsils and that started bleeding. They had to take me back in there, and they did it again. And when they did that, they burned off the end of my uvula, I’m pretty sure. My uvula used to be a lot longer. Did they tell you they did this? I had the longest fleshy uvula. Did they tell you they did this? ‘Cause if they did that, it just like, you would’ve been in so much pain. It was just like, it was just dangling down there. It was like- Hey- Now it’s like up here. So wine, which is not, well, grape juice. Better with a straw. Don’t ever drink it with a straw, no. I’m on Team Straw. So these are virgin Moscow Mules. Yeah, this is like the basic, like, origination of this concept, is that a lot of cocktail aficionados feel like you should not drink a cocktail with a straw, because it changes the experience of the cocktail. But we can’t have cocktails on YouTube, so. Why do they put straws in so many cocktails then? If you put a straw in my face, I usually grab it and suck it. Now if there’s a straw in it, and you don’t wanna go for it, you could lose an eye. So, especially if it’s a bronze pipe of a straw. I mean this could kill. There’s lots of ways. Yeah. I’m not even trained, and I can kill you with this. It’ll blind you. You know what I’m saying? You couldn’t have these inside of a prison. You know what I’m saying? You can’t do that. You can’t have something like this inside a place like that. You can’t, I mean- this is a shiv, man. Yeah, don’t take it to prison. I could go right through your ear, right into the side of your brain. Don’t. Now, this is a special cup that like- Yeah, it’s a special cup. It’s fun to put your lips on. You get a nice scent of the mint on top. Scent of the mint. I mean, you miss all of that with a straw. Every single bit of it. Look at that. I could transfer ice from mine to yours with this. And you wouldn’t even know it. Like I told you to look over there, and I’d be like- Oh. Like if this was poison ice. You know, see how that went. You know what? It’s almost a thing of the distant past, Rhett’s birthday. So, but we’re still celebrating. That’s why I’m putting up with this crap. Right. So you can get his discounts over at the Mythical Society. There’s discounts on the second degree, third degree, monthly, and quarterly subscriptions. Second degree, you can get it for $7 instead of 10. Third degree, you can get it for 15 instead of 20. A third degree quarterly, you can get it from 44 instead of 55. Go to MythicalSociety.com for details while time is still here. Listen. When are we stopping celebrating this? All I can say is- Today. I hope you’re having as much- Today, today’s the last freaking day. I hope you’re having as much fun with straws as I am at 45. All the stuff that- Oh crap! It almost when in there! That would have worked! Did you see that? There’s hair on that straw. Yeah. Pick- I’m sorry. Might as well pick it up now- I’m sorry. Because- I’m sorry about that. It’ll be a thing. But I’m actually saying- Shoot. I don’t know. I can’t think of a reason to want a straw for this. I know, I know. Look over there. Oh, hey. I am on task. I prefer not having a straw for a cocktail. I am no straw. Now that I have a mustache, A straw is very helpful. But speaking of mustache: no straw with milk. Definitely leads to a milk-stache. Yeah, but the thing about a cup like this is, it’s almost a straw. You are in rare form today, aren’t you? I have to think about this stuff ’cause I have a mustache. Everything’s not meant to be deep-throated. Well, see if you can do what I just did. You got a bigger mouth than me. I can do it. Well, see how it feels. See how it feels. I don’t wanna hurt my jaw. You too concerned about personal safety, man. I’ve never even been in the hospital. No. Of all those years that you drank milk with all your meals, did you ever put a straw in it? No. No, no. My dad believed in drinking milk with heavy meals. But my dad would not drink any drink with a straw, my entire childhood. Like if you bring him like a soft drink, if they give you at McDonald’s, a drink with a top on it he would be like, take the top off, throw it away. And he would drink it. He had something about putting a straw in your mouth. He would never do it. It was because- did he think it would make him gay? I don’t know, but I’ve been making up for it ever since. I mean, what is the reason? You think it makes me look dainty or something? Yeah. No, I think it, I think it is like an old school conservative- You’re telling me this makes me look dainty? Now drink it. Drink as much as you can. Gross. The gross factor- There’s no place for it. This episode and the More have been so gross. Yeah, well, Nicole had to leave ’cause she was gagging. Just because you wringed your beard out. That’s the thing that got her. Yeah, I mean it, I mean, I’m sorry. Clean, clean all this too. I wouldn’t watch today’s episodes. Because that came out of your face. I wouldn’t watch, I wouldn’t watch, I wouldn’t watch either. You don’t need a straw for milk. Nah. But it’s not about do you need, you don’t need a straw for anything; but like, what is the experience? Is it a better experience without a straw? Tell us about it. I really can’t speak to the experience. I mean, I’m- Yeah, but if this was poisoned milk, and you were drinking that, and I was like, “Hey, look at that little bird over there.” I mean, you’re onto something with this. You can do that with a straw. How would you feel about that? Like, that’s fun. Yep. These are- Stevie, it doesn’t taste any different. Those bamboo straws These are good. It feels like plastic! Good good straws, you know what I’m saying? Not plastic. We would not, they are bamboo. I know, but I’m saying they feel like plastic so I’m really surprised. Bamboo fiber straws. Yeah, don’t do the paper. That’s interesting. Do the bamboo straws. This is so much… So this is better for the environment because- It’s bamboo, you can- It is the environment. It doesn’t say anything on there. “We use a natural bamboo, a renewable and sustainable resource with our innovative eco technology produce a hundred percent biodegradable” Its a biodegradable- “compostable” “plastic-free straws.” But this is pretty amazing because they do behave in every way like plastic straws. “Our bamboo fiber straws can retain their shape in hot and cold drinks between five and 180 degrees Fahrenheit for over 24 hours.” Unlike paper straws. “Enjoy your beverages with plastic free and toxin-free drinking straws.” This is really good to know about these straws. Yeah, that’s good there. Get yourself some bamboo fiber straws. Not a sponsor. These are superior. If you need to get a straw, this is what Mythical recommends. WYMOON. Okay, this is the last one. And it- When moon? You know, I do think it’s a more daily use question. For water? Ice water. Ice water. I’ve never- Oh, well, shoot. Some people have teeth sensitivity. I do. It does make it go past the teeth. But when I just drink a water, water actually tastes bad. Is that the straw that tastes bad, or the water? Did you get this from the river? Fresh out the river. You got it from the sink? Thank you. Burbank tap water. Burbank tap water. You know, there’s a filter right there on the sink too. That thing that’s shaped like this, and you- Hey, listen, I drink tap water. Keeps you young. Doing this right here. That tastes horrible. It’s amazing how bad. I have no idea what’s going on. You have no idea what’s going on? Well, is it tap? It’s just tap water and it tastes horrible. Why do we put- why is it tap water? It’s a test. It’s a test, Stevie. It’s a test. To see if we make it through the night. Now here’s the thing, I am noticing that the… I can make it go past my teeth. And so ice water didn’t prick my sensitivities. You’re saying you can do water without touching the teeth already. Yeah. It goes over the tongue. And so you’re discovering this like, this isn’t like a- Well, I never- ’cause I have like a visceral reaction- I never thought about it. to this particular one, because it does hurt my teeth to drink ice water. Oh, is that why you have your… Well, somebody had to get, I’m not gonna say somebody had to get some water for you at some point and they- No, you know what, that is false- And they brought it in, they said “Room temperature water!” Room temperature water! That is not true! She needs room temperature water! Room temperature water! That was miscommunicated! I said. And we’re over here like- No, no, no. “We’ll take the tap. Tastes like crap.” They said, “Do you want any specific snacks or beverages?” And I said, “As long as there’s water, I’m fine.” And that got translated. And it has to be exactly room temperature. Yeah, and that got translated into, “There has to be room temperature Liquid Death there.” But all I said was, “As long as there’s water.” That’s what I heard. Room temperature water. And you know what we had? We had room temperature Liquid Death for her. And it was so good. And you liked it! This does not need a straw. The only thing that needs a straw, is- A milkshake. A milkshake. And wine. Today’s the last day to celebrate my birthday! With special deals on Mythical Society subscriptions. MythicalSociety.com for details!