Welcome to Good Mythical More! It’s your boys, Ken and Ken, trying to bring you some preferences related to funerals when put in weird situations. That’s what you wanted when you woke up this morning. First, you wanted a random disturbing fact. Ancient Egyptians used dead mice to ease toothaches. How do they do that? People put a dead mouse in their mouth if they had a toothache, according to Nathan Belofsky’s book, “Strange Medicine: A Shocking History of Real Medical Practices Through the Ages.” Mice were also used as a warts remedy. Yeah, but why put it in your mouth? Why? Yeah. Why would you put a dead mouse into your…oh, my God. I think it might be a perspective thing. It’s like, listen, you think my toothache’s bad? Yeah. Now I got a dead mouse in my mouth. Yeah. This is better. Yeah, it’s like a stoic thing. Y’all mind if Ken gets a little smart for More? You know? At least can see better. Here we go. Keen. I feel like my wig is- Is that what I say? Yeah. Keen. My wig has crept up off the top of my head. I have a receding hairline now. Ken. Is it Ken? Ken. It’s Ken. Ken. Keen. It’s Ken. Have I been saying Keen every time? No, no. Actually, just that time. Ken. Ken and Ken. Ken and Ken. Ken. Ken and Ken. My Ken. Ken and Ken. Okay. Okay, I have some funeral related would you rathers to ponder. And I’ll give you a eulogy. Yes, you will. What would you rather have engraved on your tombstone: “Father, husband, son and Nickelback Super Fan”… Like a Twitter bio. Or, just a QR code that sends you to the Mythical store? Oh, Mythical store. That would be, that’s great. Like a car, it’s like etched in stone. QR code. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s cool. Good. So it’s like, it’s like generational stuff. Like our kids, you know, can benefit from it. Yeah. ‘Cause it’ll last forever. People go to my dad’s gravestone and they end up buying a t-shirt or… Yeah that could be… Oven mitts! It could link to a specific item. It’s like, been to his grave, got a T-shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a pop socket! And it’s location based, so you actually have to be at the gravestone in order to, for it to work. Oh. You can’t be like, the link can’t be passed around. But it’s a discount. So if you get the, if you get the t-shirt, you know, you’ve actually been there. I kind of like this. A location based QR code that gives you a discount to something. Yeah. I like this idea. NEXT! I thought it was gonna be harder, but, apparently not. That was easy. Who would you rather have sing at your funeral: Richard Simmons or Chase? I believe Chase was in a choir at some point. He was a what? An acquirer? He was in a choir. Oh. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. Context. And plus, we know Chase. We know Chase. So would it would make more sense. Richard Simmons, I do not know personally. Yeah. Personally. And let me tell you, he pulls out all the stops at a funeral. I know I’m gonna give you a eulogy but I already gave you a eulogy on the Smosh channel when they gave us both eulogy roasts. So you wanna send people to that video? Is that what you’re trying to do right now? I’ll give you another 60 seconds, but like we all pulled out the stops on that one. So if you haven’t watched us eulogize each other, we rise from the dead to do that. And it’s scathing. It’s hard hitting. It’s worth it. A lot of heat. Smosh channel, Rhett and Link are Dead is probably what it’s called. Yeah, I believe so. My friend Rhett has died. He kept talking about it was gonna happen. I’m tall, you know, when you’re tall you die earlier. But you know what, you know what was taller than his height? His eyebrows. Look at, even the eyebrows are pretty tall. Oh, he’s dead. Look at you, you’re dead. You did a good makeup job on him. We’re gonna miss him. We’re gonna miss him because he’s always been here, you know, and now he’s gone. What are we gonna miss him for? I just, I’d like to, you know what? I’d just like to send you to that Smosh video. I tried really hard on that and I just don’t have it in me to do it again. I’m just being real. At a certain point, you know, I just… as a famous comedian once told me in between takes, I am toast. Who said that? Jordan Peele. Remember that? Made me feel good. He was like, I’m toast. Oh, when we did that sketch with them? Yeah. He was like, I was like, wonder why he’s not being that funny. And then he told me, I’m toast. He just, you know, all right. But I can engage in this. Would you rather? Sorry, that’s… He was too busy writing his, coming up with a screenplay that nobody knew he was writing. When I did, — yeah, that’s right. When I did my Smosh eulogy, it was off the rails. It was off the charts both ways. I enjoyed it. Yeah. People should really go see that video. Here’s a QR code, here’s a QR code on my hand. Chase was naked. Stevie was there. Trevor was there, talking about missionary position a lot if you’re into that. Yeah. I don’t know if I’ve had less or more missionary. Don’t look at my deltoid. …since Trevor talked about it. But I gotta say… Stevie, give us another one. Every time I have missionary now, I do think of Trevor. You do? And it’s kind of a problem. Every time I have missionary. Okay. It’s kind of a problem. What would you rather the hymn be at your funeral WAP, or the song from 1-800-Kars4Kids? Now the hymn. Oh my gosh! You have to get…the people have to sing it. So getting all of your loved ones to actually sing the printed lyrics to WAP… I actually think it would be more, it would be funnier to have everyone sing ♪1-877-Kars4Kids♪ Like, if you made everybody do that, it’s more humiliating. That would… Everybody’s singing WAP, they feel cool, you know, even if… Mmm…? I mean, they may feel like embarrassed, but they… It’s got… You feel, there’s nothing… They’re not in on the joke. There’s nothing redeemable about singing the Kars 4 Kids jingle. I’m gonna make people, I’m gonna make my people do it, man. I think that’s, I think that’s the funny, superior choice. Kars 4 Kids. I like it. If you are cremated, would you rather have your ashes spread in a Build A Bear or in a Dick’s Sporting Goods? Inside of one build a bear? Inside of a bear? Yeah, it says in a build a bear. You know, of course Stevie, we’re gonna have to defer to you. Did anyone bring a relative’s ashes into the Build a Bear that you worked at? Hmm. That is a very good point. To put in the bear? That has to have happened somewhere at a Build a Bear. It must’ve. Yeah. Oh absolutely. It’s probably in the company handbook that you you gotta reject that request. I bet you the funeral home will sell you a stuffed animal that you can put ashes in and then we’ll charge you way too much for it. Like $430 for like a hermetically sealed ash bear. You know? ‘Cause they sell you all types of stuff. Yeah. I want an ash bear. You know? I mean, I know we do that too. You don’t wanna ash Dick’s? Ash Dick’s. Speaking of which, we sell you this. You’re gonna get, let’s talk about this for a second. Nightlight. Look at this. You can have this at your funeral. Good Mythical Morning at night. It’s a light. Lights! Walmart! And walmart.com. You can walk into a Walmart near you… Walk out with a nightlight. Chances are, it’s gonna have a nightlight. And if it doesn’t, go to walmart.com and get it. Now I know that you wanna be buried naturally and I’m on the fence about that. Well, I don’t, I want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to be buried in a grave lot spot. You wanna be buried in the sky. But I don’t want, being cremated is bad for the environment. I don’t like the idea of my body being underground in a certain place because I feel like it implies that I expect people to come visit it. And I’m just not the type, I know there are people who like to go visit the grave and like… So you just wanna be lost. There’s different things. But like, I kind of think about if it’s my decision to be buried, I’m putting an expectation on somebody that loves me to come visit, right? And I don’t like doing that because I guess what I’m saying is I feel bad for never visiting the graves of my relatives. And I don’t wanna make my loved ones feel bad. Is that neurotic? Yes, 100%. But I would say that, yeah, it’s just not a, you’re not, it’s not an obligation. It’s an opportunity. Yeah. So people have the opportunity. So I feel like the loving thing is to give somebody a way to like process it. But what about a bear full of ashes? It’s more convenient. You don’t have to get in the car. Well you just said you don’t wanna be cremated for environmental reasons, which I am sympathetic to. Now, Stevie… Eaten by bugs. I know that you’re Jewish, but I assume that you don’t follow all the rules. And you know what, don’t deny it. But isn’t, it is not a, it is not a custom in the Jewish culture to be cremated, right? It’s like you most the time you are buried, right? Correct. Yeah, yeah. So like, what is your plan and does your Jewish heritage have any influence? You know, I haven’t thought about it much. You should. You could die today. But yeah, there are Jewish cemeteries and you have to be… Also, you’re not supposed to get tattoos in order to be buried in the Jewish cemetery. You can’t have tattoos. Is that why you don’t have any? Huh? Is that why you don’t have any? No, I just can’t commit to anything except for an 11 year long relationship Yeah. I was talking about Cassie, not you, but also you. Yeah. And us. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that, I think those rules have kind of, gone out the window, depending on what kind of cemetery you’re being buried in. Yeah. I mean, I don’t wanna do the mausoleum thing. I don’t wanna be in a drawer next to a bunch of people. Look at this. Now I’m just wearing a durag. That’s cool. Let me do that. Oh, mine’s pinned in. What character are we now? Was yours pinned in? Yeah. How the heck did you get it out? I just pulled it, man. I still think, at this point, even though it’s environmentally irresponsible, I think I’m gonna get cremated because I like the idea of making my kids have to like go on a road trip and spread my ashes at like the Cape Fear and then Pacific Ocean and like someplace weird, like I’ve never been, like Patagonia, you know. So they can like make a documentary about it. Patagonia, man, that’s pretty nice. Yeah. I want my… look at your hair. You talking about the store? Yeah. Any Patagonia. Just spread my ashes in a Patagonia. Actually I say, I’m like the Cape Fear River, the Pacific Ocean, and Patagonia. And then they have to make the decision about whether it’s do we have to go to like the ends of the earth or do we just go to like Pasadena? Oooh yeah! You know when you get that nice wig scrub when you’ve been wearing a wig and then you’re like You looked like Dana Carvey when you did that. That was like the most Dana Carvey face you’ve ever made. Is it? You should lean more into it. I’m telling ya. I’m telling ya. We’d get more views. Okay. At your funeral, would you rather receive a eulogy from the Kardashian of your choice, or… Khloe. Cuddle Queen Jean? Is Khloe the funny one? No, Khloe’s the one with the drummer. As much as I enjoy Cuddle Queen Jean, I feel like I’d make a little bit more of a splash with the Kardashian doing it, you know? What’s the one, which Kardashian… Well, first of all, if I’m ever wrongfully imprisoned and put on death row, then I want Kim. Right, right. She’s good at that kind of thing. Right. ‘Cause she’ll be like, she helps get people off death row. And if she doesn’t, I’d like to think she would do my funeral. But the Kardashian that is my favorite is the funny one. The funniest one. What’s her name? You talking about the shortest one? No, she’s not short. She’s taller. OJ’s daughter? No, she’s the one that, the way her face looks totally changed. Khloe. Khloe. You think Khloe is the funniest? Khloe is funny, man. She is so funny. And she, she was… She’s funny? She’s the one with the basketball player and they like… She’s dry. Yeah, she’s dry. No, Kendall’s with the basketball player. Khloe was. Kendall’s only, she only dates guys from the NBA. Well, I’m talking about Khloe. She’s funny. She’s my favorite. Kim is my second favorite. Who’s your least favorite? The one who dates the drummer? Or is married. Kourtney. Kourtney. And I still like her. I still like her all right. I think I would do Rob. Rob. You would do him? Yeah, I would do him, and then I’d make him do my funeral. You’d get Rob to do your funeral? This is gonna be so weird, ’cause I did hear that the Kardashians gather around and watch Good Mythical More every morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So when they’re watching this episode… I love the Kardashians. You don’t know what they do. I love the show. I just told you I did know what they do. I would be ecstatic to meet any of ’em at my funeral I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. If you have a casket, would you rather it look like Jeff Bezos’s Penis Rocket Ship or Jeff Dunham’s Bubba J puppet? Oh my gosh. Bubba J Dunham. The puppet’s last name is Puppet? I honestly was hoping that I said Jeff Dunham as a name correctly, so I have zero reference. He’s the guy that’s like the most famous. The Vegas guy, right? Yeah, he’s the guy with the hand up Bubba J Puppet. Yeah. I’m going with Penis Rocket on this one. Yeah. And aim it. Aim it to heaven, like put it in there erect. Might need to dig a deeper hole. Finally; where would you rather have your memorial service? A roped off section in the middle of VidCon? Yeah. That’s good. Or a roped off section in the middle of Barnes and Noble on a busy Sunday afternoon? Man. At least they would understand at VidCon, you know? They’d be like, yeah, Rhett and Link. This makes sense. They died together. This makes sense. Doing what they loved. And we’re gonna have the memorial service at VidCon sponsored by Toyota. Right. What’s Toyota’s slogan? Go places. Go places. Heaven or hell, we don’t know. Get your glow on with our custom GMM nightlight, available at Walmart and walmart.com.