Welcome to “Good Mythical More!” We’re in Cheez-It land. And we’re gonna do a ranking independent of a previous ranking and also taking into account another ranking to create a third ranking. It’s rank heaven. That may expose us as being completely Cheez-It inconsistent, but I hope not! Oh, I hope not as well. But first, let’s tell a 10 word story. Let’s do it. You start. Flowers. Build. Long. Peers. When. They. Fear. Soft. Ocean. Logs. ‘ Cause if a flower encounters a soft ocean log. Flowers build long piers, not ears. When they fear soft ocean logs. Right, that makes sense. Flowers build long piers when they fear soft ocean logs. A flower won’t get hit by no soft ocean. Do you know what a soft ocean log is? Sometimes you have to make one. Yeah. Have you ever done that? It’s not easy to do because Jordan, come on in here. You should be a part of this conversation. Thank you. It’s tough to poop in the ocean. I’ve done it. It’s tough to poop in a body of water. But it’s fun to watch it catch a wave. ‘Cause you’re encountering this resistance. Slide on in here. You know you’re in the right spot when you could whisper in my ear but don’t. But you could. Have you ever pooped in a body of water? Do you have a secret to tell me? I don’t think I have. Yeah. Yeah. I have. I’ve pooped in a- She has. Yeah. I pooped in a lake, a river and the ocean. Wow. At once? I call that the trifecta. I have pooped in a river. Next is a creek. I think I was making eye contact with you. Oh, thanks for that. Just to mess with you. In the river we went in, in Buies Creek? Yeah, it since has flowed down. But you know how like- It since has flowed down to the ocean, Stevie, many, many years ago. When you’re in a body of water. I was watching for snakes, but I should have been watching for another kind of snake. Soft, soft logs. There’s like a resistance. Sure. That’s like, you have to push through. You have to say, you know what? I’m gonna pee no matter what. Yeah. And then I’m gonna put- So you have to give it an extra push. Yeah. I’ll say this, I have IBS so I have unbelievable- I’ll say this. Anal fortitude. So, anything doesn’t phase me. Nothing is difficult for me from the waist down. Yeah right, okay, all right. Anal fortitude. So, and what’s the proper response when somebody tells you that they have IBS? Like what should I say in response to that? You could say, thank you for sharing that with me. Okay. You could say- Oh, I’m sorry. Oh, I’m sorry. Yeah. You could say, me too. Is that okay? There’s a bunch of different answers that are all acceptable. Is it okay to say, oh, I’m sorry. Yeah. It’s an illness. How about this? Can I call it IBS? Sure, that’s fine. Can I call it IBS? Yeah. The answer will be no, but you can ask that. I’m sorry. Thank you. Uh, Cheez-Its! Let’s talk, Cheez-Its. Okay. So again, these are the some of the ones you really liked. Yes. All of these ranked on the Sporked Cheez-It best of flavors list. We tried every single Cheez-It there is. I specifically tried every single Cheez-It there is. And so did I. Okay. It’s not a contest. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. We both work here. And we don’t even have IBS. I know, yeah. I don’t either. Yeah. So- Only one of does, I’m sorry. Back in June- Thank you. We did a gut check where we tasted all the Cheez-Its. We don’t ever remember anything about anything that we do on this show. Do you remember? You might, but we don’t. Did you watch our gut check before you did your thing or it was completely independent? I- Yeah, this is a trap. have IBS. Right, I’m sorry. Thank you. There’s a surprising- So I have both the gut check like ranking of these five and I have the Sporked that I’m looking at right now. There is a surprising reveal in store. Oh, surprising reveal. I love those. Well, let’s get to it. Cheddar Jack. Oh, I gotta double look at that. They just fused. See what I’m doing now? Thank you. I’m not making you ask- I love that. To get in on this Courteous. Man. Mm. That’s good. I mean, I love Cheez-Its already. We don’t have an original in here. That is Bold Jack. Incredible. Man, that was good. ‘Cause I know we loved on the original. Okay. The original- Ain’t wrong with it. The original usually makes it to our top four. There’s almost a sense of obligation that the original of something makes it to your final four. Yes. I felt that too. I don’t know what am I allowed to say and what I’m not allowed to say? Are you guessing? Yes. Right. You could say any disorder that you have. I think that you should not feel obligated to have any kind of allegiance to the original, if a flavor is an improvement on the original. I agree with that. And I didn’t think that I was doing that in gut check. I know I’m not. Like I can barely keep it straight anyway, man. Mm. Hmm. Okay. Well, you clearly like these. That noise you just made. I love those. I took these home after our taste test and I made a Frito chili pie with these instead of Fritos. And it was one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. Now I- That’s a good idea. I like the jalapeno flavor. That’s a general spice that I like. These are good. But I could see how- I’m trying to put myself in that gut check place. There is what I would describe as a high flavor, you know what I’m getting at like a little almost sour that might throw one or both of us off in a gut check scenario. But now in this environment, Well, so I was gonna say not only I have the full gut check scoreboard and obviously the mystery piece is always gonna be what link scored some of these. Yeah, you never know. So, I- I like this. Do have Rhett’s and Link’s separated scores. Ooh. I would think that Link has giving these a low score and maybe me, I don’t know. Uh-uh. No, I like these. There’s no way I would’ve done that. So, we’ll give that reveal. Okay. So we’re switching these two ’cause we both agree this one is a little bit better is what I heard you, between the lines. Yeah, so it should be here. Oh, I thought that was the lowest and- You know, like, number one. I think we’ve had this conversation before and it’s because when Danny comes on- It’s like stays left, stays right. You put the worst far left but every other time the best. Hot and spicy. Interesting. Hot and spicy. No, I really like these. I adore these. I think they look and smell like actual hot sauce. Like they taste like Louisiana hot sauce and not just chemical heat, like a flamin’ hot Cheeto. I actually prefer these over the snapped. I don’t. Just because I like the original texture of… I almost call ’em triskets, Cheez-It, it’s just something to be admired. Well, I don’t love Hot & Spicy as much. So this has a mild just jalapeno. So I like this, ranking better. Well, but I think at this point we have to which… Jordan, which one do you like better? Am I allowed to say? Yeah. I like the Snap’d better, because I think they’re a little more versatile. I think the flavor is a little more mild. So you can eat a ton of them. But I do really love these as well. Extra Toasty. Extra Toasty. And extra big box too. I requested that I said give my bosses the biggest box. Biggest box you have. Everybody’s calling us boss today. What did I normally call you? Boys. Oh. All right. I don’t like toasted as much as untoasted. I agree. I just feel like, they were perfectly manufactured the first time. They didn’t need to be… They’re still good. It’s really hard to make a bad Cheez-It. I don’t like extra toasty anything. I don’t think. I don’t think there’s anything that I prefer- You’re like a light biscuit Overcooked. Okay. So I’m gonna go ahead and- I’m in agreement. I’m in agreement. Leave that at the bottom. My thing is that when I’m trying stuff for Sporked I’m not just trying to think about what my personal preference is, and I do know these have a huge cult following and there is a place for them. That’s a good point. White Cheddar. Hmm, White Cheddar. I really like white cheddar anything. You can put it on a soft ocean log. Hm. I’m really underwhelmed by these. In contrast to everything else. Me too. They’re not as good as Hot & Spicy to me right now. I can’t taste any cheddar, so I bet you I’ll rank these low and I’m very confident that I am being consistent with my gut check. Okay. I’m very confident. I’m not gonna put numbers on it, but like- In fact I’m gonna predict that Link gave these- Half a year, my mouth hasn’t changed. Is this your final order of preference and your guess at the Sporked ranking? I think it is. Okay. If I was making this decision as to what we did, I would rank these lower. ‘Cause I think, Link gave these like a 35. Wow. That’s just my- Why would I have done that? I don’t know, man. I’m just trying to predict what would’ve happened. We might would’ve hated on the form factor. I know for a fact that these are gonna be lower than these and maybe lower than these, because anytime he has hot and spicy in a taste test, he hates it. So I think you gotta put these all the way at the bottom. Okay. No, no, no, no. I’m gonna override you there. Toasty is is further down. Well, hold on. So I kind of wanna know before you switch things, like now as you’re tasting them, what is your ranking? This is my ranking. Okay, so this is your… This is right now what you’re enjoying and you think this is Sporked ranking as well? Or this is just what you enjoy? I think these are probably up there, ’cause Jordan put these on a Frito pie. I did. Well, all of these are Sporked favorites. That’s true. Right. This is the Sporked top five. This is not our top five probably. Yeah, exactly. So right now this is the ranking for Rhett and Link for how you rank these. Well yeah, but if Rhett had his way- Let’s do several different rankings here. So now I’m just asking for your taste. Just for Link. Oh, sure. Yeah, now it’s just Link. All right, just me. Yeah. This is it. Okay. Rhett I believe that my scores would reflect something like this. You’re talking about your scores right now. And my previous scores. This is how I feel right now. Okay. Our stance is that neither one of us have changed at all. We are completely consistent in our tasting, ranking and opinions. And do you feel like this is the proper ranking that Sporked? No, we have to go back, because I believe that Sporked agrees with me. Right. I believe that. I actually think Sporked would do this. Actually, I think Sporked would do this. If you’re trying to do what Sporked would do- And forget about these. Just look at the boxes. This is what Sporked would do. Okay, so Jordan, do you wanna- Let’s start with you. Reveal the Sporked of it all? Okay. We were close number one, Cheddar Jack. Incredible. We all agree. Incredible. Yeah, yeah. Just an improvement on the original Cheez-It, I think. Yes. Well, here’s the fun spoiler alert. You did all agree ’cause you voted Cheddar Jack and gut check as number one out of all of the Cheez-Its. There we go. Yes. Science y’all. Synergy. All right then for Sporked, our number two was the Snap’d Jalapeno Jack. I agree, we loved the crunch, we loved the flavor. Yep, mm-hmm. Okay. And so we were right about that for you. Yes. Keep going. Then number three, we had Hot & Spicy. Arg, should have gone higher. Hot & Spicy was our number three, ’cause we love the flavor. Number four, Extra Toasty. Number five, White Cheddar. Yeah. So just we missed, we should have switched these two. Yeah, you were almost perfectly right. And then you made one last adjustment and I was like, Rhett. So now I’m gonna go back to me. Yeah. The way that I had it. This is you, you said you was okay. This was me. Well, here’s the thing. Rhett was insistent that for the Snap’d jalapeno. You gave it a low score on gut check. That is true. Yeah. You did. Well, I said less than 40. What did he give it? He gave it a 23. But I will say, Rhett in comparison to the scores you give things, you gave it a 51. So for you it was pretty, pretty low. We didn’t like this. Yeah, I moved these down there from my ranking. Yeah, the other- We didn’t like- Consistent top. Talked ourselves out of this type of chip. That’s what I was getting at. Yeah. At number two for a gut check was the White Cheddar. No. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, come on. We put that at number two. White Cheddar? I still like it. You mean the one that I said was completely tasteless? It’s not as good as Hot & Spicy, but I’d probably give Hot & Spicy very high and he’d give it very low. Man, it’s really tasting better to me now that I know. I mean, none of these are bad. Sure. Cheez-It really doesn’t go wrong. Absolutely. Even though maybe previously, we said they did about something. Sure. The third in the gut check was original. Yep, not here. And then the fourth was extra big, is what you put it for. Yeah, that was fun. I mean, they’re big. We tried extra big and it tasted good. We were just like, yep. It’s just more. Yeah. It’s just more of the same. Yeah. I did think it lost a little bit of that kind of layered crunch that the classic Cheez-It has, the bigger it got. Well, it’s great to support your position with evidence. Thank you. When you disagree with us. Thank you. I think that’s good. To stress the positive, still the number one is the same. That’s really what mattered the most. It’s really good. And everybody agreed on that. Yes. Everybody, all of us agreed on this. And that’s where we should be focusing. Let’s forget this ever happened. I’m gonna put these together. Whoa. And you put this with a Frito pie. How did it not soak up too much of the juices? Well, you eat at a normal pace. I wouldn’t let it sit for like two hours and then eat it, but there- That’s part of it. Isn’t it more permeable than a corn chip? Probably, but I didn’t experience it getting soggy real fast. But you kind of get that like chili chilies sort of like- A little soggy. Nice effect. The more I eat it, the more I just don’t like it. I just don’t like it. But the more that I eat these, the more that I do appreciate the subtlety of how- That’s very interesting. What did I give the Hot & Spicy? I just closed down my tab. All right, then you know what, she’s done. You have to go and watch that episode. She’s done. Also go over to Sporked, all of the rankings can be trusted. We’ve proven that again, best Dorito flavors, best Pocky flavors, best Kettle chip flavors. Ooh, it’s just a happy place, when I go over there to Sporked. It’s nice. Check it out. And I’m not done. I just wanted to also say, thank you, Jordan. Yeah. For sharing. And we’re sorry. Thank you. To see the rest of the Cheez-Its on Jordan’s List, go over to Sporked.com.