Welcome to “Good Mythical MORE”. Let’s experience the world of D&D. Whether you know about it or you don’t, you’re gonna have fun, because we’re talking spells. Oh? And everybody loves a good spell. Spells. Are these spells real incantations or in-can’t-tations? But none of them are real. But some of them are actually in D&D. Yeah. Is that what you’re saying? Well, yeah, if you wanna ruin the illusion. But first, let’s donate $1,000 to the Association for the Study of African American Life and History to aid in their mission to promote, research, preserve, interpret, and disseminate information about Black life, history, and culture to the global community. You can join us in giving at asalh.org/donate. Thank you for being your Mythical best. Of course, the first time that we played Dungeons & Dragons was in a Rhett and Link channel video where we hired an exorcist to protect us. And now, without that protection- It’s a little dicey. It’s a little dicey. A little dicey. We had a great time being introduced to the world of Dungeons & Dragons, and it wasn’t as weird, or as some people who watched that video thought it… Well, the people who decided not to watch the video, it wasn’t as weird as I think they thought it was gonna be. You mean D&D, or playing D&D with an exorcist? Yeah, and that’s… You know, that’s kind of just an us thing, so. I’m a fan of D&D, but I don’t claim to know any of the spells, so I’m going… I’m in the dark. We have enough experience to have an educated guess. Right, right. My only experience was watching you play. Oh, really? And I thought for some reason, this is not true, evidently, that you could, like, make up your own situations based on the way you guys played. But I guess that’s- Well, okay, you can’t make up your own situations, but what you can do- Well, like actions and spells. Well, no, you can, as long as it is like somewhat consistent with your… You have to be able to do something that’s like on your character sheet, right? Yeah. But then, I had no idea how it worked. First of all, I didn’t know that we were all playing together. I mean, I knew when we were doing it. But if I had told you- If you had to ask me, I’d be like, “Oh, yeah, you’re, like, playing against each other like a typical game.” And it’s actually, even though I’m a competitive person, it is more fun to play this collaborative thing, right? Right. Because it’s not like… Everyone’s like going up against something, but the cool thing is the Dungeon Master, they are kinda making stuff up. Like, they’re having to decide, “Ah, can this thing that they just asked to do…” I don’t know, man. It’s much more creative than I ever could have guessed. So he was like… I’ll give you the first one, ’cause I don’t remember any spells happening in this particular way that had names, and like, I thought you were just using your skills. I did a couple. I did a thing where I made some fire, and I did a thing where I did a blast. Not everything made the final cut, though. Okay. Tasha’s Hideous Laughter. “A creature of your choice perceives everything as hilariously funny and falls into fits of laughter if this spell affects it.” I hope that’s a can. That’s a fun one. It’s basically like laughing gas, which renders you unable to fight. You probably miss a turn. Like, you can’t fight for a turn ’cause you’re just laughing. Okay, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m gonna say you can’t. It’s real. Yeah. Fun fact. Co-creator, Gary Gygax, named Tasha after a young fan who wrote letters to him in the early days of D&D, following a common trend of naming spells after either fans or characters from his own home games. Ooh. Tasha was a fan. It’s a 1st level enchantment. 30 feet. Yep, that’s good. Tiny tarts. I like to think that we have this spell over people. Man, give ’em the Rhett and Link’s hideous laughter. You know what I’m saying? Especially if your name’s Tasha, we can really make you laugh, even though I know that Tasha’s making people laugh. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. “Perceives everything as hilariously funny,” like you do when we talk. “A creature with an intelligent score of four or less isn’t affected.” That’s interesting, ’cause sometimes you gotta be smart for the humor. Like, our humor- Like you are. Real, real smart. We don’t talk about farts. Doodie. Even though a second ago when I saw “tiny tarts and a feather that is waved in the air,” I almost said, “Tiny farts and a feather that is waved in the air,” is the components of that one. Oh. But just, I wouldn’t do that, ’cause that’s not smart humor, and we do only smart humor. Well, if you wave a tiny feather in my fart, then I create air. Well, sometimes- Sometimes I just like to say “belt”. Belt? You know, like, outta nowhere. I just like, “Ooh.” I’m just like, “I wanna say ‘belt’.” Stevie, keep going with your “belt”. “I know they’re not gonna say anything about it.” What kind of belt are you talking about? I just wanna say “belt” so bad right now. You said “belt”. She started to talk- How do you hold your pants up, Stevie? Belt. Belt. Oh, it feels so good. Belt Cutter is the name of the next spell. Belt Cutter. “An invisible knife slices an enemy’s belt, causing their pants to fall and trip them, knocking them prone.” That’s dumb. That’s dumb. We’re both- Invisible belt cutter? Na-ah. Yeah, yeah. Belt cutter. Nope. No, no, no, no. That’s just, that’s not… That’s not in the tone of D&D. But you can be a belt cutter as your character. Yeah. Byron the Belt Cutter. Right. Yeah, I don’t know how you make a living doing that, but- All right, listen- I guess you’re hired by the belt makers. No, no, no, no, no. Under the table. Get somebody whose belt’s too tight, they’ll pay you anything to cut it. “Please, bring in the belt cutter.” You have to negotiate. “I can’t get my pants off.” It’s like, “Well, I can. I’m a belt cutter.” Ah, you guys are so good at D&D. It’s fake. Uh. Yup. It’s good. Yup, yup. Belt cutter. Guise of a Yak-Man. Guise? G-U-I-S-E. Guise. Guise. Guise. “The target appears as a vile yak-man as far as all of the physical senses are concerned.” So he’s half man, half yak? I guess you make… The spell is to make someone appear as a vile yak-man. Are you sure you don’t mean yakman? Maybe. Which, that is a half man, half yak as well, but it’s the other half. Fringe. No, it’s the other half. A yakman. I think this is dumb. Yakman Cousteau. This is too dumb for D&D. It does feel dumb, but I’m gonna say it’s real. It’s real. Oh, there he is. I think it’s the “Yak-Man”. That’s more of a bull-man. But I guess a yak does kinda like a bull. Why? I don’t like what he’s doing with his right hand. Yeah, ’cause he’s facing it back towards himself. Like, he’s doing this. This is like us posing for a thumbnail. I don’t know, it’s like- Sometimes Chappie’s like, “Just hold your hand up, I’ll put something in it.” Crikey. Yeah, yeah. We’re so dumb. We just put our hands up. Chappie can put anything in our hands. Can this be the thumbnail? Can you put our heads in his hand as the thumbnail? Cool. Maybe not. Maybe. We can talk about it later. There’s too much at stake for our shenanigans to- Yeah. Do people click on yaks? Yakmens? Yakmens. I’ll have to do some research. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that into Google Trends. Corpse Light. “A spell that makes corpses glow.” Why would you wanna do that? That’s scat, son. Bless you. If somebody dies in the dark, and you need a light. “Where’s that dead guy? Ooh.” “Turn him into a lantern.” But then like, if somebody was like, “What are your skills?” It’s like, “Well, one of ’em is Corpse Light.” Yeah, then what do you do with that? It’s like, “Oh, I can make dead people glow.” “Where’s that come in handy?” “Well, you know, if somebody dies in the dark, and I’m still alive.” I think it’s the straight man to the punchline of, “I see dead people.” Ah, “I light up dead people.” Corpse Light. Belt. What? Yeah, I’m just saying, did you… When they do the incantation and it lights up, that’s the setup for the other person to say- “I see dead people.” And that’s funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think this is a can, for that reason. Oh, we’re still… Yeah, this is still a thing. Yup, still a thing. I agree with you. It makes all kinds of sense. It’s real. But what do you do with it? You make a dead person glow so you can… Oh my gosh, what is that? That’s a skull and a- Oh, that’s using a dead person’s head and spine- As a torch. As a torch. That’s cool. Okay. I mean, that’s “Mortal Kombat” level right there. Corpse Light all of a sudden seems like a great skill. Yeah. It’s not embarrassing at all. That would be a cool neck tie. You have a head right below your head. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me more about this belt. How do you hold your pants up, Stevie? You know, I’m not… I usually don’t wear a belt. If it’s a high-wasted situation, a belt is needed, I will. But there’s something about a belt that, you know, sometimes it just… Depending on your body type, it just will cut you right where you don’t want that to happen. Right in half sometimes. I am- If you can’t find a belt cutter. I am very anti-belt. Mm-hmm. Like, I haven’t worn a belt in 10 years, and I’m serious. Like, I will not… If I can get outta wearing a belt, I will do it. I do not wear belts. You feel a little constricted? Even when I wear suits, I’m like- It’s gonna get caught in a combine? I’m not gonna wear a belt with my suits. I don’t do it. I just wear the suit. I wear the suit pants, and they fit, and I don’t wear a belt. Did you ever go through a suspenders phase, Stevie? Yeah. Yeah, you did. Did you ever go through a thermal-underwear-as-pants phase? Yeah. Not thermal, but yes. I mean, kinda. Like vintage long underwear, yes, okay? I kinda- It was cool. Yeah. It was pretty cool. And it… You know. And now I’m not there anymore. Yeah. I think you had those on one time when my parents came to visit. And they’re like, “Oh my lord.” And I think I heard my mom- “What are they… What are those lesbians wearing out here?” I think I heard my mom saying something like, “I think she’s got on underwear. She got on long underwear.” They’re long. They’re underwear, but they are long. “She got on long underwear.” It’s like 2014. Mm-hmm. Early days. Mm-hmm. I should’ve… I wasn’t think… I shoulda dressed for your parents. I shoulda wore my suspenders and my bow tie. Right. Yeah, I have some bow ties. Right. Karlach’s Last Song. Karlach? That’s a dumb name. “Causes a creature to sing a song until they are out of hit points.” Karlach is the kinda name- Question mark? That you come up with when somebody puts you on the spot to come up with a D&D name. “Karlach!”, and then you’re like, “Dadgummit, that’s just a car log.” Yup. That’s just like a- When is the last time you changed your oil? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Or it could be like something at a used car dealer, where they kinda keep up with- “This is a Jiffy Lube sticker.” Who they’ve got. Is basically What they’ve got out on the lot. I’m a fan of singing songs while playing D&D. That’s what I did, and it worked out for me. Sure did. So I think that, yes, this is definitely a song that will kill you. Fake! It is fake. Karlach. You got me with Karlach. They were looking at Karlach, yup. It was Karlach. Vicious Mockery. “You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range.” Well, having been the victim of this, I’m not a fan. I thought you said, “Having been to VidCon for this.” Oh. Having been to VidCon just to get ridiculed. I shouldn’t have eaten that big ball of icing. You were really trying to prove something to Jordan. I was just… It was a bit, you know, it was a bit. I thought I could take it. I thought I could take it. It was not worth it. It shoulda been frozen. It shoulda been frozen. Oh, that’s not worth it. There was so much sugar in one bite. If you’re gonna freeze frosting, Jordan’s not here any longer, so. What’s the name of this spell? Vicious Mockery. Vicious Mockery. Yeah, we can send some Vicious Mockery Myrick’s way. Real. Yeah, if you’re gonna freeze frosting, why not just eat ice cream? ‘Cause that’s better. Huh. I think it’s different. It’s gotta be different. It’s different, I bet. They said it turns into fudge. Okay. It’s real. Yup. “Vicious Mockery, encanment cantrip. Enchantment cantrip.” Encantrip. “Encantment.” “Encantment tramprint.” “String of insults.” So this is bullying. Uh-huh, yeah. “If your target can hear you.” Yeah, your target has gotta hear you. You know, sticks and stones. 60 feet. Oh, “The spell’s damage increases by 1d4 when you reach the 5th level , 11th level , and 17th level ,” which all makes sense. I’ll say- I think, is it four… A d4 is like the four-sided die, right? I don’t know. No, I dunno. The thing here is that it’s more fun to play D&D than it is to just- Talk about it. Talk about the spells in D&D. Right. If I could- We’re not giving you a good impression if you- If I was in a moment where I could cast this, and you could see it happen- Oh. It’d be exciting. And then there was dice involved, which I found it very interesting. There was that line, there was that… In the D&D video. Yes? Where I was talking about how much it was like the dice were… I was like kind of enchanted by the dice, and you were like, “What? It’s not the dice, it’s the,” whatever you said. And then people were talking about how it was like, it’s both of those things. It’s like that’s what makes D&D. It’s the invention of the story. Enchant stuff. Yeah. But then how it- I understand the- Over and over again, you put your hands into this, like, “Oh, is this actually gonna work?” ‘Cause without the dice, it would just be like somebody just making a decision like, “Yeah, I’ll let you do that.” I understand that. I thought you were saying that you were actually enamored by dice. Oh, no, I was just saying- That’s what I was responding to. The chance of it. And now I’m being viciously mocked in the comments? No, no. People aren’t saying that. People are talking about how, actually, we just… We talked about the two things that make D&D. That’s what we do, man. So fun. That’s what we do. We boil it down to the essence. The chance and the story. Boil it down to the essence. Not a belt person, though. You wear a belt. I know you do. Not today. Not today. ‘Cause you’ve got buckles. Once you got into the buckle game, then I felt… I think you kind of felt like you had to be a belt person. No, I’ve- ‘Cause you’re a buckle person. My body shape- What’s a beltless buckle? My body shape, I need a belt. I don’t have much of a waist, so it’s… I have to tell my pants where to stop. Oh. You know what I’m saying? You tell your pants where to stop? And since my hips are kinda wide, so it’s sorta like, “Okay, pants, this is where you need to stay.” Oh, all right. ‘Cause otherwise, it’s just like… It’s kinda like putting tape on a pencil and it just sorta… Mm-hmm. You gotta tell it where to stop, you know? Tape on a pencil. I don’t know what you mean by putting tape on a pencil. Well, putting, like, a donut on your finger. Okay. Donut on your finger. I know what that is. How does a donut know where to settle? Knuckle. Yeah, but what if you don’t have a knuckle? Oh, poor buddy. I’m sorry. You know what I’m saying? There you go. Now you get it. Now you get it. That donut’s just gonna keep going all the way up your arm. That’s right. If I didn’t wear a belt, by the end of the day, my pants would either be like two feet down or two feet up, ’cause they don’t… It depends on the weather. They don’t know- Hey, keep wearing a belt, man. I’m not telling you to- But today- I’m leaving the belts for you. You know, I’m tucked today. I just thought I’d tuck, ’cause I thought maybe I would prance. Whoops, whoop, nope, pay no attention to that. You see, if I… Oh, another thing is, I like to put my mic on the belt, because that, what just happened, happens if you don’t have a belt. Okay. But see, sometimes, if you got a good pair of fitting pants that fit at the right place, they know where to be. But lots of pants don’t know where to be, and so, you’d kinda be like, by the end of the day… By the end of the day, they might be… Do you know who used to wear his pants like this? Who am I thinking? Who did we go to college with? Who always wore his pants like that? Greg never keep his pants up. Greg, this is how Greg walked to class. But he would have a… He would be wearing a belt too, but he didn’t know how to use it. And then sometimes, if you don’t have a belt, sometimes… Okay, he’s getting ready. He’s getting ready. There’s gonna be a payoff to this. Sometimes… Just… Oh. Honestly- There was a… Oh. Honestly, it just looks- I don’t think you can see the camel toe on the camera, ’cause I got black jeans on. All right. But anyway, you know. Okay. See you later. I hope not. I hope not. Mm-hmm. I will not look back at that. Be a part of Cotton Candy Randy’s world when you shop June’s Pin of the Month, Cotton Candy Mermandy, available today only at mythical.com.