Welcome to “Good Mythical More”. It’s time for the… heavily-debated draft of baked potato These are fun. toppings. Fun. But first, you know what? Let’s give Bekah $50. Bekah. Because Bekah was out there in the wild sporting that merch. #merchicality. We found you, Bekah, and you’re gonna get $50 that you can go over to mythical.com and spend on some more merch. #merchicality. All right! Make that tag so we can- Come on in, Jordan! So you can get your bag. Hello. Yo, what’s up? How’s it going? Good. Oh, we’re so good. I already ate a little bit of baked potato at the start of the shuffleboard game, and I was like, man, I wanna keep eating this baked potato. I love that. Baked potatoes are so good. At Wendy’s Oh, so okay, so you’re a big baked potato fan. Yeah. That’s my order at Wendy’s, I get a baked potato. The thing about baked potato is that- Good to know. … it can either be underdone or they can be overdone. Yeah. And so there’s like a sweet spot. Or just right. And then they do it just right pretty much every time. Yeah. They have a system. How’s that one? Feels good. A little firm, still soft. Yeah. And we’re going to draft. Oh, man. And then- Are we gonna do what we typically do where we make these as we go? We’re gonna make them as we go and then Jordan is going to decide who has the superior- What was the last thing that we did? It was… Burger? Burgers. And you ended up picking my burger at the end of the day. I did. So I think that means I wrote that burger was too much. you get to go first this time, Link. I think that’s how it works. Sure. And all of these things are Sporked favorites? Yes, we love all these things. So in theory, you can only make a good baked potato. Okay. There is steamed broccoli up there, though. And of course, if you want to be reminded on what the best baked potato toppings are, when you go to Sporked you can just search “baked potato” and then all of the top toppings will come up. I mean, there’s some Mexican cheese, there’s some mozzarella cheese. So I feel okay either way there. I will never pick black olives. Jalapenos, taco meat… Huh. Yeah but what does Jordan like? Chili. Isn’t that what this is about? Oh yeah, I’m thinking of you. We have to remind Link each time that this is not about what he likes. But when I go with what I like, Jordan likes it ’cause- Jordan likes black olives. Jordan likes me and I like Jordan and we both like baked potatoes, we both like… As I discovered last week, we both like the same type of eggs. Yes, we eat our scrambled eggs the same. Soft scramble with cheese and… Onions! Yes. But, you don’t like black olives, Jordan does. I would say I agree with a lot of the things that Link thinks, but then also expanded. I think I gotta go- Right. Is that a nice way to say that? I would say that’s true of most people. I think I gotta go with the Mexican four-cheese blend to start things off. But is that gonna put it on the bottom? Because that’s also a factor. You’d rather have it on the top? No, I want to have it on the bottom. So this is me down here. Because I want it to start melting. Okay, well… This is our number one best shredded Mexican cheese. It’s very fine which makes it great. Yeah. And I’ll say I love that you’re putting it on the bottom. I think the cheese should go on the bottom of everything. A hard shell taco, a baked potato, I think the burger, if you’re not melting the cheese directly onto the burger, you should put it on the bottom of the bun. Yeah, that’s a good point. Okay, that is a big blow. That’s a big blow early in this game. I’m sorry. Are you assuming that we both get butter, though? Because butter’s not up here. Just pretend. Pretend there’s a base layer of butter. We’re assuming that we both have butter. Sure. Or that neither of us have it. I’ve gotta go with the shredded mozzarella simply because if I don’t, you might do a double cheese situation and then I’m dead. Dead in the water. Yeah. Because that would be delicious, and if you had no cheese that would be really bad. Right. So I’m going mozzarella. Yup. Our best shredded mozzarella. So you both have best cheeses from Sporked. Let me taste a little bit of this out of the ramekin. The fact that it’s so finely ground makes it very meltable. Yes. Whoa. This stuff is like flat noodles of mozzarella. I can tell it’s good cheese right here. It’s good. You really packed it in. You press it down into the potato. I wanna make a… I want this to receive everything else that I’m planning for you here. Wow. Yeah, that’s kind of what I did too. I love that. I made it more receptive. Yeah. I think you’re both doing a great job so far. Okay, Link, you’re up. See, if I go with taco meat, then I’m leaving the chopped bacon. But with the chopped bacon you can go with broccoli, you can go with the sour cream, but if you go with the taco meat… I might be going for more of a… I think I’ve gotta stick, since I’m with Mexican cheese, I’ve gotta go taco meat. Wow, okay. So are you doing like a Tex-Mex Apparently I am. baked potato? Yeah, I’m doing a Tex-Mex baked potato. I’m very intrigued by that. All right. I feel like I have an opportunity to put a dent in your strategy here, because what I would do at this point is chili. Because with that I’m getting meat and beans Interesting. in one go. Wow, okay. You don’t seem to be enthusiastic about this, Jordan. No, I’m very excited. I think that sounds delicious. Do we have the can? I thought… this chili, oh I can tell you what this chili is. Tell me about this, Dennison’s was the favorite? Yes, it’s our number one chili on our chili list. It’s so good, it’s really thick, it’s meaty, the beans are perfectly cooked, which I think is something you don’t find in all chilis. It’s delicious. And I love it and I think this baked potato looks delicious, just when you said you were gonna do a dent in his strategy, I thought you were gonna take sour cream, jalapenos, avocados, something that goes with the Tex-Mex baked potato. Be he didn’t. And then you didn’t. Right, you’re right. There’s a lot of meat in there. Yeah. It’s good. Looks very meaty. Very good. How is that? Do you wanna try it? You can try. Yeah, I guess I wanna try it. It’s excellent. See how good this is. Are we chili with beans or no beans. Oh, beans all the way. Me too. Oh yeah, you love beans. I mean, not on a hotdog or a burger. I still want it with beans. Uh-uh. But I love beans. Any time I post anything where I’m eating beans everyone comments and it’s like, “Oh, are you going to Rhett’s house?” See? Link’s daughter going to Rhett’s house. We’re the old bean bandits. Yeah. That’s us. We’ve got things in common too over here, me and Jordan. I think I need to take that sour cream before you do. Give me that Horizon Organic Cultured Sour Cream. You’re right. And let me tell you, the sour cream is delicious. Dang it. It’s perfectly sour. It’s perfectly creamy. It’s rich. And I love sour cream. Yeah. I love it. I did a bad thing here. And when there’s no butter- Because I should have thought ahead of time. I should have thought… Whoa. Yeah. You’re starting to get it. I should have thought ahead of time that you would have not gone for chili having already put meat on there. But I’m learning, I’m learning. I like, though, that you’re going with your instinct. I feel like something you do is you always make a thing that you would wanna eat, and I really admire that. Even though he was taunting me for doing that. No, I thought you would like the chili. Me? Yeah. I do like the chili. Yeah, you’re always very respectful of me. Oh, gosh. Look at that. Somebody’s gonna get stuck with broccoli. That’s just a waterfall of- And since Link went first, it’s probably gonna be me. Where you going now? Crumbled Cool Ranch Doritos… I know you like the jalapenos. That’s tempting. I do. Are these just sliced or are they pickled? They’re sliced. Sliced fresh. They’re sliced. Which is not as great as pickled. They’re sliced. Unless you’re Jordan. Give me then jalapenos. I like both, I like the pickled, I like the fresh. Jalapenos. Fresh just has such a good crunch. Yeah, they’re good. Better watch out with that heat, though. You might get a hot one. That is nice. Oh, you’re not gonna hold back, are you? Wow. Okay. You’re both really starting to capture my essence. Ha ha. I’m really thinking that I need to grab this avocado. That’s going to be a nice… I need some green. Okay. I need some green. How about the broccoli? I need some color. The broccoli’s so green. I’m gonna take that, put it down here. Wow. This is really working out. You ever gone to, like, a wedding or some sort of event, and they had a baked potato bar? I’ve never had a baked potato bar but I’ve had a mashed potato bar where they serve it in, like, martini glasses. Okay. Okay. Maybe that’s what I’m thinking of. So it’s the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except, instead of it being a baked potato- That’s a wonderful thing. Incredible. … it’s easier just to scoop it. Yes. I have no desire to have a traditional wedding, but my girlfriend and I are like, “We should find somewhere to do a mashed potato bar when we get married.” Oh yeah. Yeah. No wedding, just- Maybe axe throwing? Yeah, we’ll all go axe throwing and then we’ll do a mashed potato bar. Yeah, like same venue? Sure. Do you wanna plan it? Sounds like it. I’ll DJ it. Okay. For free, as a gift? Oh yeah. Definitely. Nice! Definitely. I am not of the caliber to be paid. You just need to be okay with long periods of silence. That’s okay. Yeah, like struggle and figuring out buttons. I think that’s fine. You know what, I need another gig. I’m going with- Just to get back in the game. Okay, I’m ready. All right, I’m getting the bacon off of the board. Oh, I could always have used that bacon. Okay. This is chopped bacon. You’ve highlighted your favorite bacon before. Yes. Is this the same or different? I think it’s the same bacon. It is the Coleman Natural Hickory Smoked Uncured Bacon. It is- Good god, what’s wrong with you bacon sticker? Sorry. Look how mad he is. It’s not you, Jordan. It’s so good. It’s this. What? This is like “Three Stooges” kind of thing happening back here. It’s like every time I put one on it just goes off. Now, Link doesn’t like real bacon bits. He likes the ones that you get in the can at my house in 1987. I do too. BacOs? Let me tell you why, because my parents don’t eat meat. So I grew up not eating meat and BacOs was, like, an incredible fake meat product we could have. I didn’t know it was… I just thought it was other meat. What is it made of? It’s made of, like- No. No. I’m sure it’s, like, textured soy protein that’s been, like, dried out with liquid smoke on it. Yeah, man. You were getting tofu back in the day and you didn’t even know it. And I was just . I love it. They’re so crunchy. All right. Is it my go? Yeah. Yup. Don’t want that, don’t want that. I don’t care about that. Give me the crumbled Cool Ranch Doritos. Damn, I was trying to hide them. Which is nice. You did kind of put it with your stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was all my strategy. I love that. That’s sneaky. Such a nice crunch. That’s what we need. And now I’m at the familiar point in the process of You’d like to stop. wishing I could just hold. You can’t, though. This does look incredible. But you can pass me the black olives. Okay. Why’d you look at me like that? I’m just surprised. Why? I didn’t think that’s what you were gonna go for next. I thought you were really gonna try to stick him with the black olives, because he hates them so much. DeLallo. I’m thinking about you, Jordan. Wow. ♪ I’ve been thinking about you. ♪ I love that. This is looking like- These both look really good. This is blowing McAlister’s out of the water. Oh, delicious. I love McAlister’s. McAlister’s… I hadn’t thought about McAlister’s in quite some time. Yeah. They’ll give you a tater this big. Yeah, put chicken tenders in it and stuff. Yeah, it’s a bit much. Love it. I don’t, I don’t… And now I have to choose one of these. Black beans. That’s still safe. So I’m sticking you with the broccoli, go ahead and bring that over for rhett, and I’m going to do a little strain and… Strain and throw here. I don’t want a lot of the juice. Listen, this is what I’ll say. There’s a little broccoli on there. There’s a little broccoli, and I also think broccoli tastes good with the cheese, I think the chili will cover it up a little. I think frozen broccoli can be a tough sell, but with the jalapeno and the chili and the cheese and the bacon, I think it could cover it up. Yup. Would you like me to make you the perfect bite? Yes please. Okay. Don’t say it begrudgingly. I’ll assemble the perfect bite over here. It might have a teeny bit of broccoli in it. Yes, that is the one technical rule, you do have to get a bite of everything in it. What are we missing here? Wow, these both look so good. I’m making such a big bite. I’m genuinely so excited. I have a huge mouth, so it’s fine. You ready for that? Yeah. I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Let’s see that. Really? Um, sure. Do you really wanna see it? I don’t know, maybe people should vote. Let’s put it on Instagram. Do you wanna see Jordan’s fist in Jordan’s face? I don’t know. Yeah. I don’t know if the whole audience wants to see it, but I’ll show you after taping either way. Open wide. I’m adding a little bit more at the very end here. Okay. Open wide. It’s gonna go to the… Now I’m gonna try. Wow. I’m gonna try a little bit. Let it settle, let it settle. So much sour cream in that. A Dorito on a baked potato? There’s a lot to love. I got to admit, there’s a lot to love over there. That’s unbelievable. The avocado I’m kind of like, I don’t know if you’re welcome here, but everything else is- Oh really? I think it’s good, I don’t think it’s adding anything. It never does, really. I mean, texture. But you already have so many things that are already kind of that texture, so my only note, if I were to make this again, I would make it exactly like this maybe with no avocado. But the Doritos, wow, never eat a baked potato again without crushed up Doritos on it. Yeah, that’s pretty great. Unbelievable. Okay. I’ll let you feed yourself because this is a fork that has- You lose points for this. I’m just saying, I don’t wanna stab the back of your throat. Okay. That’s a strange explosion, man. Are you choking, laughing? Is this it for you? Are you dying? I really was like… Yeah, I’ve always wanted to die on camera so it’s perfect. I’ve always been like- Today’s a good day for that, I think. To die today? Yeah, go for it. Why? I don’t know, I just feel like you’re on a roll, just go out on top. Okay. Die, Jordan! I wanna see, you know what, I want you to choke- I’m like, what are you trying to get out of- Choke on your own fist. … that you want me to die? Die. Okay. No, I kinda want you to stick around and continue offering really good opinions about packaged foods. Thank you. And saying things like, “I’m Jordan, a professional food taster.” That’s so sweet. And then getting the clicks. And then coming here and being served wonderful foods. I kinda want all that to continue. That’s so sweet. I don’t want you to die. Just take that into account when you’re judging these two potatoes. That’s so sweet and it does add to the taste of your potato. You know, the only reason I want you to die is because your dramatic return would be pretty amazing. Absolutely. I would rise from the dead at this desk, like three days from now covered in Cheeto dust. Yes. And then you would go on to live a second life of Sporked tasting, ranking, and just pithy behind the scenes moments found only on TikTok. That’s true. But then you’d have people like followers at that point. I mean like religious followers. And you’d have to deal with that. You’d have to give them things to do. Okay. If you die and come back from the dead, you’re gonna have people who want to worship you. Fist chokers is what they would be called. Mm-hmm. I have a lot to think about after this. Yeah, think about it. Right now you need to think about whose is better. Well, luckily I don’t have to think about it anymore. What I will say, both are really incredible efforts. We both tried hard. You know somebody’s really losing when you have to go to effort. I think you both played it really smart, really strong. I think you both did your best. That being said, somehow even with the jalapenos and the chili, all I tasted was black olive and frozen broccoli. No. And I’m so sorry. This is so much better. I just tasted it. I would buy this at a restaurant. Link has made a perfect baked potato. There it is. Time to die. Before she dies, Come on, just… … go to Sporked. Just hold your fist up. They talk all about these toppings I do have small hands. and more. You don’t even have to think anymore when you go to the grocery store. Go to Sporked.com. I have a little hand but I’m a big person. Why is my hand so… Do you wanna try to do it? Try to do it. I could easily- Try to do it. What? Try to do it. Yeah. Try to put… My fist in your mouth. Yeah, do it. Okay, okay. This is something that we both want? Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want it too. All three of us do. Okay. Yup. Open wide, show them what you got. I mean… You were acting really confident, so. There was a little bit of a… There’s strategy to doing it. There’s some tater in there probably. That’s fine. It’s fine. You sure? There’s probably stuff on my hand. Okay. Okay. Wait. No, it smells fine. It smells great. I wash my hands a lot. My mom’s a nurse, so she, like, enforces that. You can’t get hand herpes, can you? Are you implying I have hand herpes? I think I just gleeked on you. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s okay. Oh. Oh my god. This is amateur hour. You’ve gotta get that part. We need a shoehorn that side of his cheek over there. Are you biting down? Shoehorn that part. Get it in there and open it up. Open it up right there. Okay, wait, and then I’ll do mine with my other hand. There you go. Oh, he got it. Boy, I’ve never felt more like a third wheel. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. Don’t put the pull-out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut away before the pull-out. He really bit me a lot. I really bit… Why were you biting down so hard? Good god! I was just shoving it in there. Draft your own dream baked potato with help from Sporked. They’ve taste-tested all the top tater toppings, so all you have to do is draft your topping team. Sporked.com.