Welcome to “Good Mythical More.” Yeah, I like it. Especially with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought I had to try to be as cool as possible. You look super cool. I look so dumb. I was gonna say something about it. Apparently, there’s lots of themed playing cards out there that you can purchase and can we guess the themed playing card deck just by looking at one card? I’m sure we can. What if we needed two cards? Well, then we’d be losers. We might need three cards. Oh, well, okay. See if you can guess before we do. But first, lets check our voicemail. Oh, okay. [Voicemail Recording] Link, you’re old. That’s kind of personalized to you. Yeah, and it was succinct, I like that about it. I mean, if you’re gonna… And it was true. Old compared to what? I mean, that voice sounded young. Yeah, yeah. I’m older, technically. He’s older than me. Just so you now. But anonymous voicemail leaver, I’m the age that I am and I’m good with that. Yeah. It’s an old age. It’s 45, you know? But all of you kids keep us young. That’s what I am. Anybody here older than us? We don’t work with anybody older than us. We just do not do it. No, we keep it that way. I will say this, I think I’m the youngest old person you know. But you act like an old man a lot, including right now. Remember this. Yeah, I try not to. I try not to remember it. Remember how old we thought- We knew a guy who would… He would do that. Do you remember how old we thought 45 years old were? When? When you were a kid. When we were in our teens? 45 was like, man, you got one foot in the grave, man. But it’s a firm foundation, to have one foot in the grave. Let’s do this, let’s do this. Did y’all paint these? That’s real purdy tape. It’s blacked out. That’s real purdy. Did y’all set up? Did you say what we were doing? Yeah. You did? Link did. He did? Yeah. Oh, okay. You did a great job is why I asked. Okay. Yeah. All right, Link. So this is a 10 of hearts. Do we need to show it to… I mean, you’re not gonna see anything on that. Let me see. Old… Does that say Old Toby? I can’t read. You can’t read this? I’m sorry, it’s finally time for me to admit. Does that say Old Toby? How hard is it for you to read that? Oh! You got special glasses for it. Yeah, I am old. I mean, you can tell- I don’t have glasses. You’re like, let me look through the bottom of my glasses. You know you’re old when you’re doing this. This is what you look like right now, man. I mean, literally, I know what I look like- This is what you look like. I’m having to do it in order to see it. That’s how old I am. That’s what 45- Old Toby. Old Toby. This is- It’s a DC Talk card. No, dude, this is not TobyMac. This is- That was a deep cut. The insignia within the heart looks like… It looks like a river going through something, but I know what this is, once you said Old Toby, that is what it says. Old Toby is what Pippin and Merry smoked when they were- Oh yeah, that’s a door, it’s a Hobbiton door. When they were waiting for everybody. “Lord Of The Rings.” This is “Lord Of The Rings.” Let’s see that deck. We got this one right. They smoked this when they were waiting for everybody else to show up when they were babysitting Saruman. They smoked some Old Toby. This is nice. This is nice. I wish it was unopened, but how would we play the game? Boy, that is effervescent. I mean, shiny. It’s shiny everywhere. These are cool, yo. Cool cards, man. Cool cards. Yeah, I’ma take these. There’s an Eye of Sauron right there. Man, we got the eagles. The Eagles are on this? I’m more of a Creedence man. We got the Nazgul. Yeah, this is a fancy- The eagles are coming, the Nazgul are coming. This is a fancy “Lord Of The Rings” deck. And I mean, I don’t wanna do this, but- I mean, even the inside is shiny. Just so we can resell these on eBay, and there won’t be one that’s got black on it, I’m gonna take this tape off. Hit me. Hold on, I thought we… Hey, I’m drinking and smoking some Old Toby! I mean, yeah, technically you could tell each other hit me, but I just felt like we needed a double dance. Right, and since you’re standing, hit me. Are you pleased, my lord? I am pleased, my liege. Are you pleased with my dance, my lord? I am pleased. Oh, and you did that. That was good. Just like that. And I’ll cover up the branding on my shirt. Are all of these gonna be themed? Themed? Is the music gonna be themed? Oh, I thought you meant the cards, I was like, that’s the point of the game. It definitely seemed like you themed the music to the card. This one’s got words. Okay. Show it to the people. It’s a definition. Well, you’re making it hard for people to do their job. God, man. Let them do their job. “Pass gas, to discretely release a quantity “of pungent fumes from the anus, “then blame the action on innocent bystander.” Get it, pass gas? Oh, pass gas. “See also: frame up, guilty conscience, “whoever smelt it dealt it.” Dealt it. Is this Urban Dictionary playing cards? No. No, no, this isn’t… This is too old fart for that. So it could be bathroom humor. It could be dad jokes type thing, you know? It’s kind of in that realm, but maybe too clever for a dad joke. Pass gas. Is it just fun definitions? It’s probably bathroom humor, but I feel like we’re gonna have to be losers and look at the second one. Okay. It is yet another definition. “Butt trumpet, noun. “A fanciful term used to describe the controlled release “or corporal fumes that produce a series of consonant tones “such as those used to construct a melody.” It’s just fart cards. “See also: musical fruit.” It’s just fart cards. “Hidden talents and perfect pitch.” What does that mean, fart cards? It’s fart themed cards. Go like a little step further. Oh, go all the way into the butt? Stinky cards. It’s butt cards? No, I mean, like with your… You know, it’s a… Make more of a connection? Fart definition. There we go, yeah. Types of farts. Fart terms. Yeah, exactly. Kinds of farts. 52 Farts. Oh, so it’s different types of farts. Well, let’s learn about a few more farts, my lord. The one cheek sneak, shart, rump roast, ghost turd. Ew. Odorless. Is a ghost turd when you thought you did a turd and it wasn’t? “The release of ventral gases “that have been misidentified by the expeller “as a movement of solid fecal matter.” Yep, I’ve been there. Dog biscuit, brown bubble, muffler, ripple effect, my lingerer, pepper spray, teaser, natural gas, mouth to mouth. Ew! Check this out, Link. “Spirited delivery of flatulence “by one individual into the face of another. “Usually assisted by the physical restraint “of the receiver. “See also: bachelor party.” I’m gonna shoot this card at you. Well, let’s not lose it, ’cause now we have 51 farts. Don’t lose it, ’cause we have to eBay it. The death rattle, crack of dawn. Okay, I’ve feel like I’ve heard enough. Doggy style. I feel like I’ve heard enough. Okay. Next. Hit me. Oh, back here. It’s this every time. That did not please me, my liege! Are you pleased, my lord? No, you seem to be trying to- I must pace myself, my lord. Pace yourself unnecessarily. Go down to the dungeon and fetch me a hot poker. Norman Rockwell! This appears to be a Norman Rockwell painting. You’re all over it, Rhett. You know, the kids… Y’all know any kids? They don’t know anything. Not anymore. Oh, they don’t know this. I was driving past the Flappers Comedy Club after seeing a movie, and you know, they got on the sign who’s gonna be there. And so I said to my son- Shepherd. “Oh, Jay Leno’s gonna be right there at Flappers.” And he was like, “Who’s that?” Well. And I was like, “Well, he was the host “of ‘The Tonight Show,’ before…” Well, it’s actually kind of complicated. Yeah. But I was just like, before Fallon, before Jimmy was the host. Before Conan. Before Jimmy, before Conan, before… Is that it? And then he said, “Okay, so there’s been two hosts?” And I was like- No, Shepherd, it’s an institution, baby. You don’t know about Johnny… Johnny Carson doesn’t mean anything? And I know that he’s like… No, ’cause when I said something about Jay Leno, he was like, “Dad, nobody my age knows who that is.” True. And I was like, I know you’re probably right about that, but do you think they would even know who Norman Rockwell was? No. Maybe a few people. Hit me though. No, you hit me. Too late. Oh, come on. You disgust me, you little joker. Go down to the dungeon and- Hit me! Did I please you, my lord? No! Did I please you, my lord? I didn’t like that genre. Did I please you with my hammer dance? I’m not familiar with that genre. When I did the running man, my lord, did it please you? You looked like you were running in place, but you weren’t going anywhere. I was, my lord. I was running nowhere. It disturbed me. I’m sorry, my lord, shall I get the hot fire poker for you to sear my anus again? Okay. It takes quite a fart to open it up again. Oh, gosh. Once you sear my anus, I have to give it a nice long pressure cooker. The ripper, I have to give it the ripper to break through the seared anus. I don’t like the thought of you being punished or anyone for that matter by having their butt hole sealed with a hot poker, so please don’t talk about it anymore. I deserve it, my lord. I went on to tell Shepherd- I deserve it. I went on to tell Shepherd- You made me beg for it, and I should’ve begged harder. Do you want me to do it? Please. Because it seems like you want me to do. Please. I take no pleasure in it. Please, tell me to fetch the hot fire poker. Okay, I’ll get it. I’ll get it for you. Please, fetch the poker. I’ll heat it up myself. Please, fetch the poker, it’s over there. It’s in the bucket. It’s flaming hot, it looks like a Tide pen. It’s gotten so short, because I’ve used it so much. You’ve broken it off in my anus so many times. It’s red hot. It’s red hot. Oh gosh, I’ll hold it with my paper towel. Let me cool it off with the inside of my anus. Get on the chair. All right, you like this shirt? We had a Be Your Mythical Best hoodie, it was awesome, it was in dusty sage, and it was in another color. Whatever. But now we have this T-shirt that’s in white, which I’m wearing, and dusty sage. There’s also a baseball cap that says “BYMB.” Available in butter flavor. This is embroidery. This is embroidery. This is embroidery. It’s butter flavored. This is 3D. Get it at Mythical.com, okay? “Bob’s your uncle. “Well, there you have it.” “Bob’s your uncle. “Well, there you have it.” These are quotes maybe from some movie. I don’t know. “Bob’s your uncle. “Well, there you have it.” “Well, there you have it.” I don’t know what either one of these things means. We’re gonna need another one. What’s the other one say? “Wally,” and “Silly person.” I don’t understand. If you put these two together, I mean, you know, as a set. Wally is to Bob’s your uncle as silly person is to well, there you have it. I don’t think that that’s how it works. No, it is. I’ve done the SAT. Wally is to Bob’s your uncle as silly person is to well, there you have it. Let’s see a third one. So what’s the relationship? You see what I’m saying here? “Jandals” and “Flip-flops.” Jandals is to Wally as flip-flops is to silly person. I think- It’s a slang. Yeah, I think it’s a Wally is a silly person. This one I just don’t understand, but jandals is another name for flip-flops. This is a vocabulary expanding deck of cards. Yeah, but jandals is something that I’ve never heard of. And why would they both be there? Is that jelly sandals, jandals? Maybe it’s… This is cockney. Try out some accents until you find the right one. Jandals, eh, you’re wearing your jandals today, you silly Wally. It’s New Zealand. Australian. What’s that one? Kiwi- See how Australian feels. Link, why don’t you try it? Talk like the Crocodile Hunter. Oh my goodness, look, it’s a kiwi. It’s a person from New Zealand. I can’t do it, I don’t know. Where is it? How do they talk? I don’t know, I don’t know. I know his son is touching animals now. It’s not bad. His son’s touching the animals. Why would you put it like that? I mean, his son’s working. ‘Cause they get so close, I’m like, don’t touch the animals, dude. His son is working with animals and so is his daughter. They get too close. Is that what it is though? Australian slang words. Australian slang words for the win. Hold on, this says “Kiwi Slang.” That’s actually interesting, because my- That would be New Zealand. Would it not? Kiwi slang. My Australian friend says Bob’s your uncle, and I never really thought about it. Kiwi Slang Flash Cards is New Zealand. Oh, it’s Kiwi Slang. Well, it’s New Zealand slang words, not Australian. Okay, sorry, continent of Australian. So please use your New Zealand accent. You know, it’s like Australia but a little bit different and it sounds the same to us. It’s more up here. It’s very happy and every time you end a sentence, you go up like this, and I’m from New Zealand and I’m talking like this, and I’m a friendly person, and it’s not even. A little bit of New York in there. It’s cheap as chips. Next. You’re a dag. Everybody’s happy down here in New Zealand. Medusa. I feel gutted, bro. Medusa, so this is- That’s a black one, huh? We’re just going with Greek myths. People with scary hair. Just mythical stuff, man. Mm-hmm. Is it specific to a certain story? Well, I have mythical creatures written down here, but I had Australian slang facts for the last one, but I think mythical things is correct. Mythical creatures, this is cool, this is cool. This is available at Mythical.com. Nope, that’s not us. They’re good cards, man. These are good cards. Well, all of them aren’t creatures, though, so I’m kind of disappointed. A lot of these are just- Lightning round. Lightning round. Okay. “Son of a gun, that’s a pretty nice tree “for being done that quick.” Let me see another. “We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.” Bob Ross! Bob Ross sayings. Yes, he’s got his own cards. “That’s a pretty nice tree “for being done that quick.” Oh, man. I love to watch that man paint trees. All right, so this one’s got a taco that is also a booty. It is a picture of a butt taco. So it is food puns. It’s just food… It’s not safe for work food. Oh! What is that one? It’s everything’s a booty. Everything’s a- Everything can be a booty. Butts on foods. Butts on- Butts on dishes. Butts on foods. Butts on fast foods. I think it’s broader. Butts on hearts. Butts on things. Butts on stuff. Butt stuff. Yeah. Butt stuff. Butts On Things. Certified genuine official butt cards- They’ll sell anything. Second edition. Oh, we got another one. And finally, what we got there? “Where will thou find a cavern dark enough “to mask thy monstrous visage?” Shakespeare? This would be Shakespeare, ’cause that’s Brutus. Okay, insults though. From Julius Caesar. KG has given up on us being correct, she’s just throwing us the cards. Shakespeare insults. I’m gonna go with butts on stuff for 500. Yeah, and I will take the “Lord Of The Rings” set, because I’m that guy. If you want to be your Mythical best, you gotta say it with your chest, shop the newest additions to our BYMB embroidered collection now at Mythical.com.