Welcome to Good Mythical More. Are you feeling stressed? Well, then you need to know which balls are the best ones to squeeze and we got you. But you should also check out the new podcast Stiff Knees and Shaky Ankles. Oh my gosh. It’s so great. Because, well, it’s audio, first of all. Right, right, right, right. It is not a video podcast. You never see anything. But you can really, the stiff knees and the shaky ankles really come through. Right. Right? Yep. It’s a wonder these people can even- Yeah, and I think it’s- walk to the bathroom. It’s different people every episode, because there’s more than one person out there that’s got stiff knees and shaky ankles who’s willing to let you hear them, you know? And you would think, I mean, I’ve never really been into ASMR, that kind of thing. It kind of grosses me out a little bit, but somehow- Oh yeah? When you put a microphone next to somebody’s- Shaky ankles? Stiff knee. And shaky ankle. And shanky ankle. Right. Right. Shanky. Oh, I’m sorry that’s the other podcast I like, Shanky Ankle. Right. But yeah, Shanky Ankles I’m sure is great. I was distracted by the fact that the scent coming off of these stress balls- It feels like maybe, what’s that, Prop 65? Yeah, in California- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently they have legislated- We’re in Prop 65 territory That you got to put signs on everything that could cause cancer. And of course, everything does. So, like, you get in a car and there’s like a sign on the window. Sometimes you just walk into a parking deck and it’s like, this parking deck could cause cancer, you know, it’s like everything you see. Seriously it’s, we have a Stretch Armstrong here. Now, I haven’t ever really been too much of a- A stress Armstrong? Stress ball guy, but I do like to touch smooth rocks. So I actually think that maybe this could be my thing ’cause it’s pretty tactile. Does his head stretch off, too? Nope. Are you, do you wanna send him that way? Is that what you’re trying to do? Send him that way? Send him that way towards them? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Three, two, one, go. Oh, all right. Hm. Send him back, just so we’ve got him. So this is a stress ball before there were stress balls, back when people watched Maud. Yeah. On television. Throw in a real ball though. And Stevie, I’m told that you have some visualization prompts for us to enter a stress zone to thereby de-stress with the balls and test them out. Oh, yeah. Before we move on though, did you notice that what happens? There’s like beads in here, like joints that individually pop. Oh, wow. And then come back together and connect again. Let me do that one. It’ll come back together. And also does the- Oh my gosh. That makes Stretch Armstrong, has Stretch Armstrong always been like that? Oh! It’s very satisfying. Well, I don’t know if he’s coming all the way back together, but yeah that’s interesting. How about these- It really feels like a knuckle popping. These actually smell like candles. Yeah, that one’s not bad. That’s weird. Did we say that Stevie has information on these? Yeah, yeah, you did. Okay. Let’s see, let’s see the first scenario. No, don’t have information on those. I have stressful situations to put you in before you test them- Oh, okay. So that you can really get yourself there. All right. Let’s get stressed. Okay, so close your eyes. You’re getting a prostate exam, and new med students walk in to observe. New med. Like, they’re new to the field. Okay. What, what, what, hello. Hello, new med students. Okay, I’m ready. You just went there? You got there in your mind? Oh, this one. Prostate exam usually doesn’t last very long. Yeah. But don’t you wish you had a stress ball? I mean, I myself have never had a prostate exam. But I would imagine, based on what I know, having a stress ball actually might come in handy. Yeah, I just feel like I’ve never- ’cause the fingers go in the butthole. I’ve never really thought about how beneficial this could be. This maybe better than a smooth rock. Like if you carry it around, I mean this is a weird one to carry around. You think I could put it on my key chain? Like what kind of, what is this? I don’t know what this is. It’s a little ghosty. It’s scary, but like. It’s a ghost kind of a guy. It’s really mushy. But it- I think it helps your grip. too. This one kind of- Oh yeah, make your hands big. Get those big hands. Grip strength is like the number one one of the like leading indicators of early death, is like lack of grip strength. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. I think I’m gonna- It’s probably a correlation, but it’s interesting. I think I’m gonna squeeze it with my prostate. That’s the thing that you squeeze and it makes you stop peeing, right? Well, I think it’s probably a muscle that you’re squeezing. But maybe your prostate is part, is next to it. This is not, yeah, I’ve not really had an occasion to use a stress ball. When I got my prostate- You know what, except when, like, when you give blood or something they give you one of those things, they give you a stress ball to squeeze. So that your veins are poppier. It’s a pumper. Pump your veins up. Last time I got my prostate examined, it was actually kind of stress relieving. Because he was like, “It’s fine.” Oh, right. Okay. You know what I’m saying? What is the, like, what like position do you assume for that? He lets you choose. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what are the options? Are you talking about an athletic exam? I chose- Or an adult- As an adult? I chose upside down. As an adult? I just bent over the edge of the doctor’s table. Do you really? Do they, what, is that- They went inside your rectum? So, tell me more. You know, when you go to a gynecologist, it’s like terrifying. And you know what that table looks like. There’s stirrups and stuff. And you’re just like, yeah, no, that’s position. No this was literally- just like drop trow, turn around, and bend over like I was on the hood of a police car. And cough, right? Uh, no, you don’t have to cough. The turn and cough thing is a hernia check. That’s true, yeah. Okay, I don’t love this one. Let’s go to the next one. Um, brain. Brain. Ooh, this is- Oh, look at that. This is- Oh! What’s the scenario? Okay, close your eyes. You’ve asked somebody to repeat themselves three times. Oh, no. And still don’t understand. This is worse. This is worse than a prostate exam. What am I signing up for now? Yeah, this is, “What’d you say? What’d you say? What’d you say?” I mean, I really like the ones that it’s different things pop out. Do you think if I squeeze this and then I squeeze this, I could pop it? That’s the thing, is that it kind of makes it more stressful to feel like it could pop. But yeah, let’s pop it. Let’s do it. No, I think, is it gel or is it water? What is it? Yeah. Well, I need you to squeeze it now. Squeeze it. Don’t squeeze it right towards the microphone, or towards everybody else. Squeeze it into something. Can we get a, let’s get a bowl and a knife. Let’s just cut it open. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we can move on to the next one and come back to this one. We’re gonna cut this one open. We’re gonna dissect this. We’re gonna taste what’s in here. I’m especially- This one’s better. Especially excited about these. Check this out. Well, hold on, give us a scenario. Oh, sorry, yeah. A crowd of people are watching you struggle to parallel park. Oh. Oh. First of all, I’m pulling away. I’m pulling away. I mean, I consider it a personal challenge when there’s like people behind me and I like see a space, and like here I am and I’ve stopped and I’ve put on my signal and then I have to back up. But the person behind me now has to back up. Ooh, it’s tough. Because, in order to parallel park you have to go past the space and then back in. Well, and then if somebody’s right on your tail, they gotta back up. Yeah? I’m sorry, I put on my signal. What if somebody’s behind them? And I start, in order to tell them I’m backing up, I just start backing up. That’s how they know I’m backing up, by doing it. And they’re like, “Oh crap. Now I gotta, this guy, this guy’s parallel parking?” And they get mad, you know? Everyone gets mad when I do it, and I do it all the time. Yeah, you do. You do. I don’t really get that stressed over it. Check this out though. Oh! And then there’s worms and blood. Whoa! Look, look, if you go all the way back, get bloody worms! Oh! Gross. Ew! Ew! Okay. Brain it. Do the brain. Oh! I’m not gonna hurt myself. What a gush. And what is it? Prop 65 water. It’s water. It’s just water. It’s just water. They just put water in there. Oh gosh, look at that. This is visceral! I got some paper towels here. A gusher. I have some, too. It’s just paper towels. You think maybe it would be jelly or something, but I guess they don’t have to do that. No, it’s water. It’s not paper towels. Grape jelly. I mean that, the sound that it made was disquieting. That’s what it sounds like when your appendix bursts inside of you. You know, if you could put a microphone in there. Okay, take that. Take that that way. It stinks, man. Stinks. Yeah, where’s that water from? Think about it. It’s manufactured somewhere. Ah. Put water in it. Okay. Ooh, that- You got more cool things over there. Oh yeah, I do. Um, bread. Ooh, that’s a heavy piece of bread Also, what’s the ranking thus far? Oh. We’ve missed that. Um, I think it’s this one’s the grossest. That’s not, which one’s the least stress relieving? And I don’t like that one. I actually think- I don’t that because it’s too scary. I think for feel, this one’s the best. Because it doesn’t feel like you’re gonna break it. It helps with grip strength. And it stinks a little bit. And stink make me horny. So. Okay, I feel like this is realistic. Both of your dogs had explosive diarrhea simultaneously in the house on the carpet. Oh. Oh gosh. In the middle of the night. And you’ve already stepped in it barefoot three times. And it always happens. And you’re tracking it everywhere. And now you’re blaming, everybody’s blaming each other for it. Oh gosh. “Didn’t you take ’em out?” “I did take ’em out, they didn’t go!” Oh gosh. “Did you take ’em out before we went to bed?” Yeah, exactly. I always do! Sometimes they don’t go. “Well, somebody dropped something that they’re eating.” “Stop walking around!” “And clean up after yourself. They found some food somewhere. Who left it out?” Okay. “I told you they have sensitive stomachs!” Yeah, that is stressful. “It’s not their fault!” I like this bread. Oh, this is- That bread looks so good. This helps. I wanna touch that bread so bad. Yeah, I wanna eat it. This is the best- This is number one by far Thing ever. I’m taking this home. I’m gonna put it on my desk. You know, I have a big stress ball that Lando gave me on my desk. That’s more of a stuffed animal. Right? You smush it down and then it slowly comes back. I mean, it’s got some of the same effect, but it’s not, you can’t get it in one hand. Oh, man, this is cool. I’d like a pillow like this. Can I get a bread bed? Rhett, I think we’re gonna have to cut one of these open to see what’s in it. I want a bread bed. Well, you can cut yours open. I’m taking mine home. It feels so good, I don’t want to cut it open, but I wanna know what’s in it. Jelly. This has got a jelly in it. Ooh, man. This has made me forget all about the diarrhea. You keep thinking that it’s gonna not be bread anymore. It’s so good. Like, “Oh, this will never be bread again.” And then you’re just like, whoop, bread again. I mean, how do they do that? This is making my mouth water. Like- I wish all food was like this. It’s Pavlovian. Look at that. Woo-wee! It’s so good. Just spank it. Smack it up, flip it, rub it down. Oh, no! The bread is gonna do me. Yeah, that’s a Gen X reference. Yeah, it is. Bell Biv DeVoe. Yeah. Played at our middle school dance. Well, they played the song- They didn’t show up at our middle school dance. Bell Biv DeVoe definitely did not come to Buoys Creek. See, here’s what happened. There was a band called New Edition. It had Bobby Brown in it. Bobby Brown was in it. But it also had, who was that other guy in New Edition that went solo? Another guy. And then the other two guys who were left from New Edition, Bell Biv DeVoe could not go solo, so they stayed together, and they made Poison! Poison! They made really like their songs were salacious, for the time. They were kind of late bloomers, but they were cool. It was just like describing what they wanted to do and how they wanted to do it, in song form, in a way that New Edition never did. And then one of the guys from Bell Biv DeVoe produced, basically discovered Boyz II Men. Mm. So there, you see how, you see how, you see how this stuff matters? And that takes us to the end of the road. Right. Of this story. I still haven’t gotten into anything you care about. Y’all know about Boyz II Men, right? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Boyz II Men’s got some completely like timeless songs. Yeah. Like, End of the Road, man. Yeah. And I’ll Make Love to You. Yes. But Bell Biv- Motownphilly back again. Bell Biv DeVoe wouldn’t just say, I’ll make love to you. They would be more explicit than that. Yeah, they’d said, “You can do me in the morning.” “You can do me in the night. You can do me when you wanna do me.” That’s the chorus. Do Me. That’s beautiful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, this bread’s great. The bread is the best. Bread’s the best by far. Have you ever experienced, I mean, like, a simultaneous diarrhea situation’s not great, but when my two dogs are on a walk, and they decide that they’re gonna poop at the same time, I love it! I know, that’s great! I was actually talking to my dogs this morning. I was like, “Why can’t y’all sync up a little bit better?” Jade poops early, and then Jasper, like, it’s hit or miss, but it’s later. And then sometimes Jade will then poop again. Shawn’s the big pooper in our house. And they all do it on the wall. I can’t believe how much poop that guy can do. He does it before he goes to bed. He does it when he wakes up. And Barbara just kinda looks at him like, “Yeah, I’m gonna do this once today. Not right now.” Give us another scenario. You’re helping your mom delete a Facebook post over the phone. First of all. Oh gosh, what? I’m so- Ooh, this is- Dude. Did you see what happened to this? Look. Mine came out like that. And you think, it’ll never get back in there. And then… It does. Well, it didn’t It doesn’t. Oh! How? Well, how do I get it back in? Do I suck it back in? Oh. Oh, you can suck it back in! Oh, I sucked it back in! Let me suck it back in. Whoa, this one might be the best! How do you- Can I put this stuff on the bread? I’ve got more. I’ve got more out there. Yeah, it’s like jam on bread. Look, put it on the bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jam on bread. Look at that. Oh, it’s wonderful. It’s like Gak. Oh, you got, yours is a better color for bread. And then look. And then he’s like, this little Pac-Man wants to eat my jelly off my bread. And then how do you, I haven’t mastered the ability. Come on buddy. Eat your, eat your, eat your jam, oh gosh. He just ate more of it. I mean, he just put more of it on there. Oh no, don’t ruin your bread. Come on. Come on, buddy. Yeah, come on, guy. Suck it up. What do you do? How do you get him to eat it? Well, it’ll come off the… How do you get him to eat it? He’s not eating. He won’t suck it. Suck it! Suck it, buddy. Suck it! Suck this jelly off this bread. Come on, buddy! Do your jelly sucking job! Come on, buddy. Suck that bread. You were born to be a jelly sucker. What in the world? Why is he not sucking the jelly? Here we go. How’d you get him to suck it? Come on! Suck up the jelly! I mean, what else could he be doing besides sucking this jelly? Oh gosh. We got other things to do. We got a final one here. This one says, “Smack my balls to relax.” Oh God. It’s like balls in shorts. What? I’m gonna make you a jelly hat, ’cause you can’t suck it. “Smack my balls to relax”? I guess you take ’em out of the sack. And, well, that’s kind of disappointing, isn’t it? It’s supposed to be- It’s just a red ball. So this, I mean, somebody makes this and sells it. That’s what’s sad. You know, it’s like, there’s just- They thought they were clever. The on-ramp to market is a little too fru-fru. These are not good balls, once you get hold of ’em. They could be softer. This one sucks. I might have to put my bread in this basket. It says “Smack my balls”? “Smack my balls to relax.” Yeah, it doesn’t say- But then it has someone grabbing the balls. You didn’t try that. Maybe that’s I mean, I-I-I- Do you remember the wiener tap? Yeah, I remember the wiener tap. What’s this? Ooh, look at that. There’s a little thing. I don’t suggest you do this. It would be problematic on many different levels. I’m just describing it in a historical fashion because it happened when we were in middle school. I don’t like that one as much. It was a backhand. You would be unsuspecting, and someone would come up and do a backhand finger to your crotch, hoping that they would hit scrotum- How rude. And cause intense pain. It caused you to bowl over. Boil over. Yeah, so that was the kind of thing that we dealt with. But then we would go home and listen to Bell Biv Devoe and everything would be okay. Figured out how to do it. You squeeze the sides. Oh, he sucked it right back in? Squeeze the sides of him like that. And then go like that. Okay, the bread is the best one. He’s getting it. He’s getting it, he’s getting it. He’s getting it! If you want stress ball, get this bread. You will not hate us. Just two froggy guys, snacking on flies. Grab the ‘Ribb It?’ long sleeve tee, now at mythical.com