Welcome to Good Mythical More! Hey, we got you, because you are in the market for some snappy put downs and funny insults associated with all of these. Throwback. What are they, what are these called? Genres of people. Genres of people. Genres of people. Papa genres. But first, let’s just tell a really insulting ten word story. Your. Mom. Is. So. Stupid. That. I. Don’t. Question. Her. Judgment. About. Pinecones. And. Pine. Nuts! Nuts! That’s it. Your mom is so stupid that I don’t question her judgment about pinecones and pine nuts. Boy, that was scathing. So scathing, so scathing. Come on in Jordan! Hello! What is your, your qualifications for receiving insults? Cause that’s about to happen. And judging them. I am a professional comedian, and I have been insulted a ton of times. Check. Does that come with being a comedian, I guess? It’s like, oh, you’re funny, you can take it. That’s exactly what it is. A lot of people will meet me, they’ll be like, you’re a comedian? Oh, well, you’re a dumb! And I’m like, what? And then they’re like, oh, what, you can dish it out, but you can’t take it? And I’m like, dish it out? I’m not that type of comedian. Yeah, I’m like, I didn’t, we just met. There’s so many comedians now. What do you think about the world of crowd work comedy. Where it’s nothing but crowd work. Cause this is the thing now. – It’s TikTok. – It’s big on TikTok. That’s like the TikTok thing. Yes, I think like anything else, if you’re good at it, you’re good at it. And if you’re not, it’s really sad. Yeah, that’s tough. Going out on a limb, that’s fun. There’s an edge to it. What I’ve been told is that, now that has changed stand up culture, so now when you go to a stand up show, all the people in the crowd think that they’re supposed to heckle. I could see that. To create the moment. That’s terrible. For the TikTok. That’s terrible. How do you, how do you deal, have you ever had to deal with a heckler? I have, a bunch of times. Recently, I did a show with my fiancée, and I think the people just didn’t understand what a show was, and they just kept shouting out during the show. They were like, that’s funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk louder. What’d you say? Like just trying to kind of engage in a dialogue. So it wasn’t offensive, but it was annoying. Well, were you, were the two of you whispering? We were whispering. We were being romantic on stage. It was like, it was a whisper show. Yeah. ASMR comedy. Yes. Talk louder! That’s why I prefer internet comedy. It isn’t that people don’t say things. It’s that I don’t have to listen to them if I don’t want to. Absolutely. Right? They don’t have to disrupt me. Internet comedy. Internet comedy. Different comedy. But still comedy? Well, I hope so. This is like watching Challengers. When Link said snappy insults and funny put downs, what did you say? Funny put downs and snappy insults? Snappy insults and funny put downs. There was a book that I had. That I let him read one time. We had this every, once a year, the bookmobile would show up. The bookmobile! At Buies Creek Elementary, and we’d, my mama would give me the money to buy the books. Yes, my mama would give me the money too. I mean, I would actually buy books. That’s the only time of year I’d buy a book, but I’d get excited about buying a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Snappy put downs and funny insults. We didn’t know about bookstores. Okay. We knew about the bookmobile. In Harnett County. But we got, that, that snappy insults and funny put downs, man. I can’t remember any of them. I’m excited to put you to the test now and see how you do with these. Okay. I think, I’m gonna go first and say. Okay. Florist, Link. I’m gonna take florist, cause I really want to insult Jordan as a florist. And then, of course, we’re gonna draft all of these, and then you’re gonna judge in each round. Sure. Who gave the better insult. Yeah, this is interesting. The last time we did this, it was with, like, flirting. Right. So this is like that, but it feels worse for me. – But sometimes. – Talk louder! But sometimes flirting, you know, if you follow, like, one of those really skeezy pick up artist type people. You look like you’re looking down in shame. Have you done that? No. I’ve been married for 23 years. Yeah, but he follows the skeez. No, I’m just familiar with those dark corners of the internet, just because I’m fascinated by skeez sometimes. And they think that insulting is a, is a part of pickup. Yeah, it’s negging. Yeah, that’s, what do you think about that? That just seems pretty skeezy to me. I don’t like it. Yeah, you go up to somebody and you insult them a little bit, like, where’d you get that haircut? But better than that, cause I’m not good at it. And then you’re, and then it makes you seem not desperate and they’re like, well, well, well, maybe I should like you. Is that how it works? Also comes from the idea that like women are thirsty for the approval of men. So if a man approaches you and is like, oh, you’re a little bit fat. Like women will be like, oh my God, he thinks I’m a little bit fat, but I want him to like me. And that’s actually not true. In general, women don’t care what men think at all. Right, you heard it here. Alright, let’s get to it. Let’s draft all of these. Well, speaking of things that don’t feel good, and I’m sorry I have to be the one to bring it up, but, Rhett, you do have to have hot glass poured all over you as your punishment. Yikesies. KG, you gotta work on your pouring. That’s scary to me because I don’t know what that is. I don’t know what’s happening. It’s famed journalist Ira Glass. And he’s never looked better, I mean. Never looked better. I mean. I’m a big fan. There’s plenty of them back there. You guys have to tell me first before you do something to him. Cause it scares me. Yeah, and it kinda hurt the top of my head a little bit. Okay. I would love to insult a baby. Fun. – Okay. – You know? Yeah. I just think there’s a lot, and again, these are gonna be AI generated. Did we say that? We didn’t say that. So you are, you are not writing these, you’re just kind of giving them your best read of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we think the AI will have something to work with. Okay. Barista, I run into them occasionally. I’d like to have a little AI insult up my sleeve. Okay. Just to insult a service worker? Yeah. – Okay. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just checking. A little negging. Yeah, I know. Yeah. You’re trying to hook up with a barista. I don’t have a lot of experience with priests. I was more of a pastor kind of guy. Sure. I’m a, I was a Protestant. Yeah. Yeah. My guy didn’t even wear anything interesting. He just wore like a, like a. – Polo. – A button up. Sometimes a polo. Okay. Never a robe. Usually not even a tie. Wow, I don’t like that. Yeah. I think the only thing I like about church is kind of the. The dress up part. The spectacularness of the show. And the incense and the swinging of the pendulum. Yeah. If I was gonna go to a church I would go like see the Pope do his thing. Oh, yeah? Cause I feel like that’s like. You go to the Vatican? His gown is big and stuff, you know what I mean? – Yeah. – His hats are big. Big gowns, big gowns, big gowns. So, I’m gonna go for that. Okay, priest. I am, oh, you dropped it. Oh, gosh. You dropped it. That’s more where that came from. But I will have to get that one eventually. Let me just put our iron glass up there. Oh, I’m up there. But you’re also up there. I’m gonna have to insult you, Rhett. Sad. I don’t wanna insult myself. – Oh, okay. – Well, I do. I wanna insult you. Over there. Wow. And then, I will insult a gym rat. Okay. And I got one more. What is it? I’m going to insult a goth. Okay. You guys scared to do CEO cause you own this company? Yeah, who’s gonna pick that one? Oh, Link’s not scared. I ain’t scared, I ain’t scared to insult a CEO. All right, okay. And then I’ll insult a gamer. I’m not gonna reach for my thing, but you know I’m gamer. All right, bring them out. AI has done this. This is not, this is not, reflect the views or opinions of us. Yep. Or this company. And if you don’t like insults, if you don’t like AI. AI. There’s other things for you to do right now. 100%. Or you could just complain about both. Rhett, I picked first. You can insult first. Okay. Which one you wanna? I wanna start with the baby. Just beginning life. That’s so fun. Just beginning life. Okay. I’m a baby? You’re the baby. I’m the baby. Yep. Your attempts at crawling are about as successful as a turtle on stilts. I’m still asleep as a baby because that joke did nothing for me. AI is too nice. Now you’re a florist. Okay. You’re a florist. Oh, what? That was horrible. How can I help you? Alright, do you have any bush? That wasn’t part of it. That’s a throwback. To the 80s? To the main episode. Got it. Kind of, actually. Well, listen here, florist. Sir, relax. Your flower arrangers. Oh, oh, points off. Your flower arrangements might be beautiful, but your fashion sense is like a bouquet of confusion. That one’s pretty good. Now get out of my shop. That one’s fine. – I won this round. – Bouquet of confusion? I like bouquet of confusion. Bouquet of confusion. I like that. That was pretty snappy. – I like bouquet of confusion. – Okay, I got that one. Pretty snappy. Alright. Link, you can choose first this round. Barista. You’re a barista. Okay. I’d like an iced oat milk latte to go, please. Got it, okay. I don’t wanna have it here because your latte art is so abstract. I thought I ordered a cappuccino, not a Picasso. Thank you. That felt like a compliment. Okay, yeah, it kinda, yeah. You just said. Their latte art was as good as one of the most famous artists of all time. So. Yep, I did say that. Yeah, yeah, yes, you sure did. This is why we need comedians instead of AI. Right. AI doesn’t know what an insult is. I thought I ordered a cappuccino, not a Picasso. All right. Okay. All right, Rhett. Priest. The door’s open for you. Are people clapping? Priest! Okay. Okay, you’re, maybe you’re, maybe you’re behind a, the box that they get confession in. Hi, priest. I’m doing a sermon. I just did, I just started it in Latin. And I’m about to insult you. Okay. Before they come and drag me away. Your sermons are as uninspiring as your sense of fashion, father. We’re really knocking on these people’s fashions. Why do y’all care about just the sense of fashion? Why? AI really wants to go for the fashion. That one was bad too. Yeah, yeah. That didn’t, I couldn’t even process it. It happened so fast. It ended with father. Father? That’s a sign of respect. Right, but it’s also kind of like father. It should have ended with. It’s condescending, like father, you know, that’s how it was. Alright, I thought priests liked being called father. Yeah, I don’t think that was the insult part in AI’s mind. Alright. Who win that round? Who win that round? Oh, I forgot I have to pick. Priest or the Florist. Oh God, they were both so bad. Right, Picasso or father. I guess I have to go with you because yours was actually an insult. Yes! Yep. Yours was a compliment. Okay. I’m with you on that. Completely counterintuitive to what it’s supposed to be. Let’s insult Link. But you’re me. Okay. You already knew that. Link, your taste in jokes is as questionable as some of your taste test results. Watching you attempt humor is like waiting for a punchline that never lands. Stick to tasting strange foods. At least they’re, there your lack of flavor won’t be so apparent. Do you have bush? That was really mean. And it was very long. It was so long, I kept waiting to make the bush callback and the joke just kept going and going and going. Watching your attempt, watching you attempt humor is like, waiting for a punchline that never ends. That’s really, really mean. Okay. A punchline that never ends, or never comes? Lands, sorry. A punchline that never lands. Oh, this must be a set up for something that never actually lands. I don’t think that AI wrote that one. You think a comedian wrote that? I think people who know me wrote that one. Oh, well maybe, maybe. Do we have confirmation of that? No, it’s AI It was AI – Yeah. – It was AI Let me see how the Rhett one goes. You also don’t know what’s being put into AI to get these answers. So someone could have been like, write an insult for my boss, Link. He is like a punchline that never lands. Stick to tasting strength, you know what I mean? Like, you don’t know what they said to AI Exactly. And I’m Rhett? Yep, you’re Rhett. Maybe be taller, I don’t know. Hold on. And then, I can, there we go. I love my wife. Rhett, your jokes are as stale as last week’s leftovers. Watching you try to be funny is like witnessing a comedy drought in the desert. Stick to the Mythical Kitchen. Maybe there you’ll find a recipe for humor. Oh, that was good. Stick to the Mythical Kitchen. I’ve never seen Rhett in Mythical Kitchen, so. I’ve been there a couple of times. Well, I haven’t seen it. So, for this round, I’m gonna say Rhett wins. I’m sorry, this didn’t feel as accurate. Yeah. Stale as leftovers. I also don’t feel like Rhett’s, like, trying to be funny. I’m not trying at all. That’s not your thing. Your thing is not that you’re trying to be funny. Right, right. So I feel like that’s an inaccurate, like, there’s other things you could’ve insulted him about. I’m not trying at all. Yeah, he should. Right? I don’t know. You should start. I don’t know. But this felt like this would hurt your feelings, maybe. I’ll take it! Yeah, my feelings aren’t hurt. I feel seen. Okay, I love that. Oh. Okay. Turned it on its head. You’re up. Yes, I am. Two more rounds. Two more rounds. Okey dokey dokey dokey worky. All right. Well, I’m gonna just have to go with the, I’ll go with the gym rat. Gym rat. Okay. You’re a gym rat. Great. Do it. Are you spotting or being spotted? I’m doing Zumba. Okay. What is that, actually? What’s Zumba? Yeah, is it? It’s like a dance, cardio, fitness class that combines, like, Latin fitness, Latin dance with fitness. Oh, cool. And sometimes, like, hip hop and stuff. All right. We should take a class together. All right, yeah, yeah. After we go to the grocery store? Let’s, I’m around. Hey. Hey. Spending all that time at the Zumba gym, you must have mistaken it for a sanctuary for overgrown hamsters because, do you ever get tired of running on that wheel? It’s okay. It’s all right. Oh my God, that really fell apart. Well, I added the because. Making fun of a gym rat because they’re exercising. It didn’t make sense. You ever get tired of exercising? You must have mistaken it for a sanctuary for overgrown hamsters. Because you’re running on a wheel, basically. Wow. This is the state of AI comedy. That’s really bad. That was really bad. I’m gonna go goth. Okay. Can you be goth? I am. Be sad. Be sad. Your gloominess is as transparent as your black eyeliner. Embracing darkness doesn’t make you deep. It just highlights your lack of originality. You’re like a walking cliché, desperately clinging to shadows in a world full of light. Wow! Oh my gosh. AI got a vendetta against the goths. Whoa, man! Okay, that was good. It. It says that your gloominess is as transparent as your black eyeliner. Yeah, they kind of messed that up. That’s not. That doesn’t make sense. After that, it just gets, just harsh. Yeah. Embracing darkness does, this is like something that a dad who was upset that their kid was turning goth would like, think about before he walked into the room. He’s like, embracing darkness doesn’t make you look deep, it just highlights your lack of originality. Yeah, it’s very. Oh, dad, you’ve ruined me. Yeah, it’s very mean and hurtful, and Rhett wins this round. Wow, I’m up! But read the rest, cause I wanna remember. You’re a walking cliché. Desperately clinging to shadows in a world full of light. That is so sad, and that didn’t make sense at all. No. You gotta give it to my man over there. Okay. Right? Final round, Link. Give it to him. Give it to him? Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I already did. You gotta give it to him. Okay, in final round, I’m gonna go gamer. Okay. And I’m going CEO. Okay. So Link, you’re gonna have a really, really awesome insult. I’ll go first, cause Link, if he gets a great, great insult, maybe he can tie it up or even win. I don’t know, he’s in a big hole right now. And the way I’m running this thing is that points don’t even matter. So, if I really liked the last one, I could just give it to someone. That’s right, you’re in charge. Because no one told me I couldn’t do that. You can’t, you can. You’re a gamer. Okay. You’re so bad at gaming, even the NPCs are laughing at your skills. Behind the camera, was that a genuine laugh? Was it? It was? -Davin says yes? – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Davin says yes. The nonconscious beings that are in the game are, are ridiculing your skills. That is. No, I get it. That is pretty. The NCBs, is that what you said? – NPCs. – NPCs. Nonconscious beings? No, non-player characters. Non-player characters. I’m just saying. He said nonconscious being. Yeah. As I way to describe NPCs. Yeah. NCBs. Yeah, right. NCBs, all NPCs are NCBs. Sure. But not all NPCs are laughing at your skills. Okay, I think this joke makes sense, which I like. Yeah. And I think it’s an okay insult. It’s a little soft, and I feel like gamers are really mean to each other. So it doesn’t feel kind of indicative of the community to me. Yeah. Okay, now you’re a CEO. Okay. Maybe say some CEO type stuff. I love my wife. Maybe not here, like somewhere, like, you know. Like a regular one. Regular CEO. Okay, all right. Business, business, dollars. I hate my employees. Oh, there you go. There you go. Well, they say CEO stands for Chief Executive Officer, but in your case, it seems more like constantly expecting ovation. You got some duds, bro! I really want, I was going to say forget the points, and if this was good, I was going to be like, Link takes it. My guy wins. It’s not the delivery, I don’t think. It just, it. You just got some duds, man. It just wasn’t good. It’s not, it’s so. I do think there are CEOs that constantly expect ovation. I think that’s true, but I think that, so this makes it just more of like a statement rather than an insult. Yeah. You wouldn’t even put that in a secret Slack. Yeah! Yeah, I’d drop that right into the general. Yeah, right. It’s not, it’s not that mean. Yeah. Wow, do you guys have any insults just kind of off the dome that aren’t AI? Can you do better than AI? – Who are you? – What kind of person are you? I don’t want you to be you, cause I’m not gonna insult you. Alright, coward. I’m, I don’t know. I want you to do each other, but I don’t think you’re gonna do it. Everybody does. Mythical and proud all year long. Shop our Always Proud Collection where a portion of profits will benefit our friends at OutRight International at mythical.com