Welcome to Good Mythical More. We are going to taste some of the best sodas you can buy according to sporked.com and then place them on the soda matrix of, what are we calling it? We’ll figure it out. Whatever we’re calling it. The soda matrix. But first, let’s donate $1,000 To vote.org to aid in their mission to build best in class, culturally competent programs, cutting edge voter tools, and high profile partnerships to reach and empower voters across America. Please join us in giving at vote.org/donate Donate! Bring in the matrix! It is the Sporked soda matrix. All right, so we’re going to taste each of these. I say let’s start with this Jones special release orange chocolate soda. Here’s how this soda matrix works. Yeah. On the x axis we have cringe, which is bad. We have sigma, which is good. All right, look at this. We could put this anywhere on there. I thought sigma wasn’t that good. Well, I don’t know either. No, Sigma’s, Sigma’s the best. I, you know, of all of our Gen Alpha slang, and remembering stuff, Sigma’s the one I also always think is bad, but is actually good. Okay, so, bad to good, and then we have the age on the y axis. Old to young. Okay. Twist off, twist off to blast off, you know what I’m saying? How did you twist that off? I just grabbed it and twisted it. That I hurt my hand, man. I was, I was, emphatic about it. Oh, here we go. Cheers. Independence since ’96. A little double, a little double. Oh, triple. How many can we do? A lot. You hear that? Again. Let’s just, let’s drink it. You ever seen two men have so much fun touching bottles? Chocolate first. Orange after. The chocolate is kind of Yoo-hooy. I really like orange and chocolate together. I didn’t think I did, but I’m, I’m not hating this at all. Which is why Sporked chose it. Of course, if you want to be surprised by things that you never thought you should buy, including sodas. That’s why you go to Sporked, sporked.com So I kind of feel like it’s somewhere in here, Link. I mean like in terms of the left, this way. I feel like it’s a younger thing, so it’s above the. It’s definitely. You think the young people like Jones? Even though it’s been around forever? Around since ’96. Because it’s weird? It’s weird. And they don’t care about sugar content the younger they get. There’s only 120 calories in this thing. That’s not too bad, is it? 29 grams of sugar. But, are the young people drinking sugary drinks now? Are they also drinking like, low cal stuff? Like, us growing up, you didn’t do a diet, you didn’t do diet until you were 26. – 26 is the earliest. – Yeah. In North Carolina. And you felt a little bit self conscious when you were in your twenties still drinking diet drinks. That’s for old folks. But I see kids drinking diet drinks now, right? Isn’t that happening? As an old, I don’t know. When did you start drinking diet drinks? I think that the evolution of diet drink creation has sped up in the past decade, I’d say. I think that the available diet drinks, for us olds, were not good. Yeah. This is, I can’t contribute to the answer, but I will say this is a remarkably surprising treat beverage. You think it’s gonna hold up? The reason I didn’t put it so high is I think that if you drink a whole bottle of that, it would. As a treat, like you might drink one of these a year, but like if you want to try one. One a year? I think this is the one. That’s quite a pace How often do you have that? Well, once a year, annually. Yeah. I don’t, I think that it’s a treat beverage. Okay. That’s why I’m actually moving it. I’m moving. Yeah. I mean, like eggnog. I said nutmeg. I know what you mean. That’s why I’m actually moving it real close to Sigma. Wow. Yeah. Cause I usually hate this stuff. This is the best Jones I’ve ever had. Best Jones. I’m Jonesing for it. Okay. I have been, oh, I thought that y’all were going to break out that. Do we have it over there? Do they have that new, the new Dr. Pepper? – They really like the zero sugar. – I want to see that new Dr. Pepper I saw an ad for. What is the new Dr. Pepper? Blackberry. Blackberry? Yeah, I haven’t had it yet. Well, this is Wild Cherry Zero Sugar. Okay. Okay. It’s got caffeine. I mean, I don’t usually do that. I don’t know if I’m gonna like this. What? Pretty good. It’s, it’s very, it’s very Pepsi. Here’s the thing about when you add the flavor to the drinks, especially a cherry flavor, it covers up. First of all, Pepsi Zero. Tastes like Pepsi. They figured it out. More than Coke? Coke Zero tastes like Coke. Pepsi Zero tastes like Pepsi. They figured it out. It’s amazing. What a world we live in. It’s great to be alive. It’s great to be alive right now. Why would you drink a regular Pepsi if you could get this? Well, because you don’t like cherry. When we were kids, they didn’t have it. We would have been drinking it. The cherry part is the part. But the zero part, sure, yeah. I’ll say the design is really awesome. Isn’t it nice? It has that like vintage throwback logo but then the overlay of the. Got the wallpaper cherry, cherry design. Yeah, yeah. I feel like this is. But maybe that, I think, I think it’s appealing to Millennials and Gen X. Cause we’re, we have a soft spot for Pepsi in our hearts. I feel like it’s so good. I feel like it’s so good, and I feel like it’s right in the middle of the road. I feel like it appeals to everyone, but maybe the Wild Cherry sends it in a slightly younger direction. Yeah, I’m good with that. – Well. – All right. I’m gonna take that home with me. What is this? This is a Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew, you ever heard of it? It’s just straight up Mountain Dew. Yeah. It’s the best Mountain Dew flavor, it’s the original Mountain Dew. You know us, we’re Mello Yello boys. It’s not bad at all, but it’s not Mello Yello. So, something about Mello Yello does it for me, so I gotta put it right, I gotta put it below. I think as I get older, I like Mountain Dew more than I liked it when I was a child. Really? Really? I don’t. Mountain Dew, they had a whole campaign. With extreme sports. Yeah. And then Red Bull came along. And said. Not so fast. Not as extreme as us. We are faster. We are stronger. We are bigger. We do more flips. We are crazier. We have GoPros. Yep. You know what I’m saying? Like, Mountain Dew is like, what, they’ve got cameras on their helmets? What do we do now? That pushed the Dew down. So now Mountain Dew seems like it’s for old folks. I would say, yeah, right in between a Boomer and a Gen Xer. And you know what? Old news. It’s not even that great, because it’s not Mello Yello. Triggered. Triggered much? Alright. Oh gosh. Olipop ginger lemon. This is, this has got Erewhon written all over it. People like this stuff, I’ve seen, I’ve seen people ask that we do a Gut Check with this stuff. Probiotics, botanicals, plant fiber, a new kind of soda. Is it that big? Is it big enough? Supports digestive health. Remember that time we did the LaCroix episode and it wasn’t, we were, we were ahead of the curve. So I don’t know. We don’t want to get in too soon. Yeah. The problem with these Olipops is that they usually don’t taste good. Hold on, I haven’t been saying it the way that you’re saying it. Ollipop. I’ve been saying Olipop. You’re saying “Oh-lee-pop”. Yeah, I was just reading it. What is it? I’ve heard Olipop. Olipop? But who, who, who really can say it? But who really knows? It doesn’t have a pronunciation. Because we were all saying “La Crauy” back in the day. True. And we would look down on people who said LaCroix, like, they don’t know French like me. LaCroix. I ran into a. Finally, a refreshing soda. I ran into a person that called it “La Cruay” within the past six weeks. Really? I didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. Sometimes I don’t know, what kind of person do I want to be in those situations? When somebody mispronounces something. Do you want to be direct? You can, you can correct them. Out of love, but there’s a fine line between correcting them out of love or just being an A hole. Well, seeming like one. And so usually I’m just like, you know what, who, who’s it gonna bother? Who’s it gonna bother if they keep going around saying it like that? After you, the next person. Link, it’s “Oli-pop”. See? See, because I corrected him. You were saying. In the context of this show. It’s officially “Oli-pop” though, we did look it up. But if, but you didn’t, you weren’t trying to prove that you were right and I was wrong. But here’s the thing, Stevie, in the context of this show, you know, when we’re with our work friends. Yeah. I, it’s fine, I want to be corrected amongst friends, but I’m talking about like. Well, we’re journalists. Like a, like a stranger. Like, correcting a stranger or like an acquaintance. Yeah, don’t do that. I don’t do that. That’s next level. No, I’m just saying. But, but now I feel bad because. But you can always soft pedal. You can be like, I don’t think it may be “Oli-pop”, but I don’t know. I think you’re completely out of touch with society. I think it might be LaCroix, but I don’t know. I don’t speak French. Yeah. Yeah. See? “Oh-lee-pop”. If you go like that after you say it. Yeah. Then it makes everything better. Olipop’s way up here, right? It’s a Gen Z thing. Is it good? Is it bad? I, I for one can’t, I can’t get on the Olipop trend. I wanted to because of the, the plant fiber. Olipop ginger is really strong tasting. 32 grams. And the lemon is very strong tasting. So. This one’s not that great. That’s why they chose this one because it, it has the best chance of overriding what I don’t like about Olipop. It doesn’t say keep refrigerated. It says store refrigerated. I think I just need to make a new like spot in my brain for something like Olipop. Cause it’s so in between things that I’m like, why wouldn’t I go for a flavored water or a kombucha or a soda? Yeah. And it’s kind of just like, there. Yeah, why not just, I like kombucha better than this. Why not just drink a kombucha? It’s better for you. Or just as good, maybe, I don’t know. Okay, 7Up. I put that pretty low. I’m fine with that. I didn’t like it. 7Up. 7Up. So, where’s the? It’s the best lemon lime as determined by Sporked. I haven’t had a 7Up in a long time. Better than Sprite? But, when I was in North Carolina this summer, I was telling Shepherd about. Pretty good. 7Up commercials. You remember how we used to be like, what, what happens, and then we would be, it’s a 7Up commercial, what would be happening? Growing up. I know we always talked about the Spot video game, but that’s all I remember. A specific weather circumstance would happen, and we would be like, it’s a 7Up commercial. What? Did we just do that on my street? Because we did it all the time. Raining in the sunshine? Yes! When the sun is shining and it’s raining, it’s a 7Up commercial. And I, you, I forget sometimes you just sat in your room alone while the rest of us were playing, but on my street, every time it would rain and the sun was out, which happens a lot in North Carolina and you forget about it because it doesn’t happen here very often. It happened while we were in North Carolina and Shepherd and I were walking around. So I get, how did I catch a stray for not being invited? And, because I thought you knew. You did know. I didn’t, and I knew. Yeah. But then you looked at me like I’m crazy. Well you are. And I was like, hey man, it’s raining and it’s sun shining at the same time. This is like the 7Up commercial. Because that’s what they did in all the 7Up commercials. And I said, by the time we get home, it’s just gonna be sunny. Even though we just came from a thunderstorm. And it did. And it was like he thought I was some sort of wizard. And I’m like, I’m not a wizard, I’m just from North Carolina. So I know how it works. Do you think it’s better than Sprite? It’s for old people, of course. 7Up’s better than Sprite. Yep. So I’ll put it there. Well, Sprite’s not up there. Where would Sprite be? But I mean, it’s pretty, it’d probably be lower than that. Alright, let’s. Why is is not more popular? So, San Pellegrino Aranciata. How is this? 120 calories. This is not a low sugar beverage. 16 percent orange juice from concentrate. Interesting. Made with natural origin Italian oranges. You can smell them. That’s fancy. That’s very orange juice-y. Very orange juice-y. This could really have a place at your, at your pool party. Well, that is something. Who drinks this though? Old people. You gotta be real old and rich. We don’t know if, we don’t know if young people have gotten into this. Maybe they have. Have young people gotten into San Pellegrino? Did they find it? We’re iffy on it. Carney, stay out of this. All right, we’re definitely in the, we’re, if Carney’s speaking up, we’re definitely below this line. Yeah. Yeah, we’re below this line, but it, it, it’s, it’s better than 7Up. Well, that is something. Okay, I’ll buy that. I mean, I won’t, but I’ll buy that. I think you could have these if you were like, if you were doing like a. Bless you! Bless you! Hey! You were trying to stop me. Not gonna happen. Alright. Oh, you? Crush? Going for a Crush? They’re saying Crush is better than Sunkist. Who’s saying that? Sporked! We just ate, we just drank the other orange. I haven’t crushed it in a long time. The other, the Jones was Best Jones Flavor. This is Best Orange Soda. That makes sense. Better than Sunkist, huh? It’s more orangey than Sunkist. And if that’s what you’re going for, I could see how they would rank it up there. It’s definitely worth a shot. Sometimes I forget about Sunkist. Sometimes I forget about orange Crush. Why does the, why does the marketing system in my life let that happen? Cause I feel like if I remember, if I remembered Sunkist and Diet Sunkist, I would have Diet Sunkist at home, ready to go. If I would think about it. Sunkist Zero? There’s no commercials for Sunkist. When’s the last time you saw a Sunkist? I haven’t seen one. You see Dr. Pepper all the time, you see Coke, you see Pepsi, you see Mountain Dew. Sunkist, get with the program. Make a commercial. Sponsor a NASCAR. Give me an opportunity to see you somewhere. I’ve got to drive by that weird building in Sherman Oaks. That’s the only way that I know that you exist. Oh, the Sunkist building. It’s like they’re corporate. It’s shaped weird. I, well, I don’t like it as much as. I like, I like it better than Crush. And I’m putting it below. Okay. Putting it closer to cringe. You think it’s a little cringe? I don’t know. Yeah. But this, this right here, I don’t know. I think it’s old. They’re not doing ads anymore. Yeah. They’re letting the demo die. They’re dying a slow death. Okay. Look at this one. Boylan Bottle Company Creme Creme? Now we had this. Creme cane sugar. Is this a twist off? You know me, I gotta protect myself. Is it? I don’t know if it is. It is. It is. I, we had this on the show and we liked it. I like when it doesn’t hit the low part again, it just hits the high part. Well, keep your low part back. Yeah. Look at it, not me. One last try. Hold it real loose. Apply positive pressure, but keep it loose. Loose and tight. Harder, harder. Yeah. I did not know that we had discovered a. That’s a treat. I would maybe have that once every two years. This is a biannual, biannual treat. The cream soda’s a little too much for you? It’s like drinking a melted carafe of grandma candies. It does taste like Werther’s Original, that’s why I like it. Which is for old folks. Just put it on ice. Just put the melted Werther’s on ice. A cream soda float with vanilla ice cream. Oh, Stevie! So good. Better yet, just vanilla ice cream. So what I, apparently y’all like it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everybody likes cream soda. I think it’s so old fashioned that it, that it, it can’t come back around. Well also old people give babies Werther’s Originals. Yep, yep, yep. So, I actually think it’s up here. It’s for babies. Alright. And we’ve got. No, no, we’re out. We’re done. Nothing. Good God. The last thing I want to do is taste two more of these things. No, we’re out! Individually making out with our girlfriends in the make out room. But then opening our eyes, and seeing, and making eye contact, while making out with girls, right?