Welcome to Good Mythical More! We are going. What? We’re laughing at you. You scared them, I think. What’d you do? Well, what, when I did this? Yeah, yeah. That was funny to some of us. They thought your head was gonna fall off. Did you think I was possessed? Yeah. What are we doing today? I can’t remember because I almost twisted my head off. I’m gonna give you some, awards that are unique in some way and you’re gonna have to tell me if they’re real or if they’re fake. Okay. Alright. So many awards out there. And I’m gonna, I’m gonna have to, read some excerpts from Three Sinful Wishes. Yes! And erotic. You know, let’s set the tone. Fantasy. Let’s set the tone for erotic fantasy by telling a 10 word story. She. Slowly. Pinched. Her. Bottom. While. Licking My. Oh, first person? Wow, okay, so this is an autobiography? Sorry, I was just in the moment. Ear. Lobe. Heart. Because. She. Fore. Played. Butt. Naked. I brought it back! I brought it back! She slowly pinched my earlobe part. Nope, she slowly pinched her bottom while licking my earlobe part. She slowly pinched her bottom while licking my earlobe part because she foreplayed butt naked. Okay. Yeah. If you’re going foreplay, foreplay butt naked. Beat that, R G Alexander. You think I can pull this out and keep it in one place? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Alright, let’s hear one, Steve. The world’s most phallic building contest. In 2003, Jonathan Ames wrote an article for Sleep Magazine stating that Brooklyn’s Williamsburg Bank Tower was the most phallic building in the world. Readers wrote in with their picks and it took off from there. Williamsburg? I’m gonna say this is real because, y’all don’t need to be doing that, architects. Y’all don’t need to be doing that. And so it’s a slap in the face. It’s kind of like a, a Darwin award. You don’t want to win it. I’m going to say first, because I hope it’s real, and I hope we get to see a pic. Okay. It is real. The contest was made by Cabinet Magazine, which Jonathan Ames also worked for, and the winner was the Ypsilanti Water Tower, a.k.a. I don’t know, I’m just gonna say it. The brick dick. Yeah, that’s a dick pic if I’ve ever seen one. Wow, look at that thing. It looks retractable. This picture was taken in the morning. A lot of girth there. What is the little yellow one down there below it? That’s. That’s the little, that’s pee. That’s a pee cylinder? That’s how it pees? It walks out the door? The pee walks out that front door? Sometimes you get a leak on the side. Why isn’t this Good Mythical More just us looking at phallic buildings? Cause that would be too much. It’s be too much. Listen, don’t, I mean, if you ask for it, it will come, so. Hey, Stevie! Come on. Rotten Sneaker Contest. A reward given to the smelliest sneaker hosted by the brand Odor Eaters that sells foot odor and wetness protection products. That seems like. That’s a good, that’s good. Integration right there. They would do that and then they would cure it right there on the spot. But would they? That’s the interesting part. I think that, I think that you just exposed why it’s a lie. Oh, they thought about it. They can’t do it. Well, I’m sticking with my answer. Can’t do it. It’s exposing their. The limitations of their product. It’s real. From their website in 2019, for more than 40 years, the Odor Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest has celebrated kids active lives. That is, the truly offensive smelling footwear resulting from so many of the things kids like to do. Okay. Our professional judges include NASA master sniffer. Come on, Stevie. George Aldrich. You’re working for the man. Come on now, you’re just being a pawn for Odor Eaters right now. You sold out. You’re selling out. Can we google NASA master sniffer, George Aldrich? NASA master sniffer. I wanna see what his real thing is. While you’re Googling that. Actually, just show us another picture of, a building that looks like a penis. Oh, he’s a chemical specialist for NASA space missions. Rachel Herz, PhD and expert and author on the psychology of smell. And Buck Wolf. From the Huffington Post. What is Buck doing there? Buck Wolf. I’m gonna read from page 69. It’s a real, it’s a real NASA position. Yeah, they got smellers at NASA. Yeah. Her car keys were in the lock when she saw him. Oh, yeah, they were. He was smiling at her from over the roof of the car. And he looked just as sinfully as attractive in the daylight. Can you speak up, please? Yeah. Sorry. I can’t hear you. That’s right. Be sexy, but louder. Stevie’s into this. Be loud enough. You, you really can’t hear me? I can’t hear you. You turned away and got quiet. Oh gosh. What, was I talking quietly? Yeah. You got a little shameful. You went into like, I’m going to talk sexy quietly, but can you do sexy loud? Her car keys were in the lock when she saw him! That’s not sexy, man. The answer is no! He was smiling at her from over the roof of her car. And he looked just as sinfully attractive in the daylight. Stacks, what are you doing here? He laid his hands on the white roof and smiled. This is a small town. I was bound to run into you sooner or later. Were you looking for me? Hoping. That’s all. He tapped out a hypnotic rhythm and Dani felt her heartbeat changed to match it. Actually, I was just leaving, too many people for my taste. I think I understand now why Nicholas. prefers rocks and ruins to shopping malls. Do you suppose you could give me a ride? She nodded without thinking and opened her car door mumbling to herself as she leaned over to unlock the passenger side. What was he, what was she doing? She barely knew this man. There was just something about him. Yeah. He slid in beside her. Okay. Putting a long. Pudding? Putting a long, intricately designed walking stick in the back seat. What? Before closing the door. She was instantly surrounded by his scent. Where do you need to go? Just a few miles down. It’s on your way home. You are going home now, aren’t you? He’s a hitchhiker? Apparently. She nodded again, trying to focus on the winding road in front of her. He shifted in his seat, and she knew without looking that he was staring at her. Her. Her grip on the steering wheel. Wow. Tightened. So you work with Nick, right? His chuckle was low. Intimate. You don’t want to know that. I don’t? No, he assured her. Now I’m on page 70. That was page 69? Yep. He just got in the car? They gotta do better with 69. Let me just skip ahead a little bit. He told David all about her from her spiky, pink tipped, blonde hair to her sassy kissable mouth Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep going. Look at that building. It’s got balls too. Oh, wow, that one really did it, and it shoots fireworks. Oh my gosh. Okay. Children’s laughter. No. Did I see the word sausage, nope that was the word strange, ducked his head, okay. Cheeks, here we go, limb, his own cheeks, slightly ruddy, ducked his head. Yeah, no. Okay. BDSM. Okay. First, first, first, and the chapter’s not gonna do it. Yeah, it’s gotta, you gotta kinda get into it. Seven pages in. Shimmering braids. Taking her hand and pulling her closer, or as close as she could since David didn’t seem to want to let go. I was right, Bunny crowed. There’s a character named Bunny in this. Delicious. And yes, the story goes, I was conceived there. Okay. Conceived. We’re getting there, we’re getting there, we’re getting there. What? Writhing throng. Okay, all that’s left is for you to say, yes, Bailey, David and I want you. Want to fulfill your every fantasy. All you have to do is say yes. David and I. Oh, mama. This doesn’t mean I like you. She had to try and save face even though she was melting herself. Wait, was that your commentary? – No, it said. – It’s in there. It said, oh, mama. You could, okay. You’re getting there, you’re getting there. You could fit two enchanted ends in it. Maybe three. Oh, mama. Bailey had picked it because it was the most expensive rental house on the list. Sorry. Back to real estate? You’re getting real close though. As long as it involved more kissing. Okay. Here we go. Right in here. Looking into David’s beautiful features as he secured her, feeling Cameron behind her, impatient and commanding, was electrifyingly potent. Cameron nipped her shoulder again. Yes. Oh. I wouldn’t use that. Not this first time anyway. Not this first time. The implication was clear. Arousing. What now guys? Tearing a hole in the. Here we go. Left shoulder in his haste. Right now all I can think about. Yep. All Cameron can think about is. The cool air of the library blew across her nipples, and she realized that Cameron had pushed down the top of her dress to her waist, leaving her boobies bare to David’s avid stare. Slip off your shoes. It says boobies? No, it said. It said breasts, he didn’t want to say it. Oh, this is great. – The wicked snake. – Just great. Flood of emotion through her. She’s ready, I can see that. Open sesame. He pushed down the, it landed, the black and pink cloud at her feet. Open sesame is like, something one of the characters said? One of the men said it to her. Oh, God. A pained growl rumbled in her chest. Open sesame. Bad girl. You bad, beautiful girl. They were just having Chinese food, though. It wasn’t. It wasn’t anything to worry about. Bailey managed a shaky smile. No Superman underoos this time. No anything. Surprise! Did we get this used? It looks a little. It’s well worn. It looks a little, is this someone’s? What’s happening? I think it’s one of those made to look like it’s been read. The best fantasies come in threes. Yeah, yeah. Made to look like it’s been read. Cause that’s what you really want with the erotic novel. – Yeah. – Okay. You want to know somebody? Look at that. Yep. That one’s bad. In italics there. Yep. I’m not going to say that. Hey, we, this is, this is Good Mythical Evening material. I’d like to think we deliver a little something more, you know? That’s to the lady. Let’s hear another one. The Rhyme Time Awards starting in 2002 in Québec City. This award was given to a baby born that year with the best rhyming name. First recipient’s name was Monty Conti. But, it’s Monty with a Y, and the last name is Conti. We don’t need to be awarding, we don’t need to be rewarding this behavior. Monty Conti. I spelled it out which I thought would make it sound more real. It’s Monty Conti. You made that up. It is fake. Okay. It’s funny though. Foot in Mouth Award. It’s presented each year by the Plain English Campaign for a baffling comment by a public figure. Okay. That’s it, huh? No examples? This is good. Yeah. Some magazine does this. I’m feeling good, good, good about this one. Foot-and-mouth disease, that’s a different. That’s bad news. It’s foot and mouth. Foot in mouth is not a disease. It’s just, well, it kind of is. I might have it, but I can win this award. Yeah. If it exists. Yeah, it’s real. Yes! Ted Dexter, a senior figure in the Marylebone? Marylebone Cricket Club, won the inaugural award in 1993 for trying to explain a loss by the England cricket team by saying, maybe we are in the wrong sign. Maybe Venus is in the wrong juxtaposition with something else. I don’t know. And then Alicia Silverstone won in 2000 for saying, I think that Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in a way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness. You know, how far we’ve come in the past 24 years. Right. Cause that sounds like an everyday thing to say to me now. Right, that sounds pretty deep actually. I feel like Clueless is very deep. To be light, to be deep, you’ve got to come from a place of lightness. It sounds like something we’d say. You know, when I asked you to speak up, I really couldn’t hear you, but it did remind me that last night I attended the annual neighbor meeting. Oh, good. You talking about the HOA? It’s not technically an HOA, but. Okay. Kind of. Okay. And I thought, you know, we know the woman who was like the president and like, you know, we’re friendly with our neighbors and we just, we’ve never been. Please tell me you recorded it. We had to show face. – Well. – Secretly. It was, it was, it was a little painful. I haven’t been in a like sterile meeting environment like that. And also, boy, are there a lot of old people, in my neighborhood. So if anyone’s looking for real estate. And they also, they love to go to meetings. They love to go to meetings, and the special guest speaker, was a woman from Parks and Rec who, was talking about fire prevention and what to do. Okay, so not the show. Was she from the show or from the real Parks and Rec? Because this is L.A. And it could be either one. The real one. Everybody showed up thinking Amy Poehler was going to be there. Somebody from Parks and Rec. Oh, hey, it might be Rob Lowe. No. And there was like a little microphone and amp, you know, speaker setup, but the woman was holding the microphone about a foot down from her mouth, and the room was full of older people. And so you start to hear like a little rumbling, like, forgot to put the mic up. The mic up. And I looked up, and there was this older gentleman who was, doing a motion. Doing a motion to signal that she should put the mic up, but she didn’t understand. Parks and Rec lady! At first it started like, kind of slow. And then it became very insistent. Jerky if you will. Yeah. And I realized that would be the last meeting I attend. Because I am not mature enough to. Oh, you started laughing out loud? I started laughing and Cassie was like, what’s your problem? And I was like, just silently laughing. Look at what he’s doing. At this older man. Look at the signal he’s making. Did they rectify any problem? She did eventually bring the mic up closer. No, like, did they, like, did you solve any neighborhood issues? Oh, I thought you were gonna say, did they erectify? Was there any contentious, or decisions being made? A new board got voted in, via verbal yay or nay. I was kind of hoping that someone would say nay in the room cause like that type of drama I’m into, you know? Could of been you. And then there was this older man that Cassie, Cassie has the, Next Door app. I don’t have any of those. Oh, she could have got elected. You need to watch out. Well, and she knows this one, this one gentleman, I guess, is known for saying some interesting political things, and then the rest of the neighborhood yells at him, and he was there. He had, speaking of the erotic novel with the big hiking stick, he came to the meeting with a large stick. Not cool. And he asked to say some words, which were fine. There was a treasurer there who refused to, refused to use the microphone at the front of the room. I don’t need a microphone. I think it was like an anxiety thing. I’m loud enough! And so then he wound up screaming from the side of the room. People are interesting. It was a, it was a time. People make weird choices. Okay. It’s what makes the world go around. Oh, I guessed Wordle in three though, during that meeting. So, it was fine. I wound up being productive. Are we done? Nicole’s mom actually puts verjus in her salad shirazi. And I think it gives it that little piece of je ne sais quoi. Nicole, I’m a big fan of your mom’s salad shirazi. I was a verjus until I was 18.