Welcome to Good Mythical More, where we have some weird canned foods that Sporked has discovered are pretty good. Pretty good? Yes, we’re gonna try them. With Gwynedd. But first, we’re going to list every single bone in the body. Starting with the tibia. Fibia. Femur. Femur. Coccyx. Rib. Another rib. Another rib. Alright, we’ll move on from the ribs. The patella. That’s a good one. I think that’s a bone. It is a, it is a bone. It is a, it’s not attached, though. Teeth. All teeth. Oh man, you got me with that one. You were gonna, you were gonna go to teeth? Yeah, I was gonna go the other tooth. But I’m not gonna do that. I’m gonna say the, metacarpal. The pelvis. That’s a, that’s a, that’s a big one. It is one bone though. Yeah, that’s cool. Crap. I gotta come up with another bone that’s not a wiener joke. Teeth aren’t bones? Teeth aren’t bones! They’re enamel. Okay. Another tooth! Your nose also isn’t a bone. Well that’s cartilage. See? That’s why I didn’t say that. – Gwynedd. – The skull. Save us. Yeah, we should, we could have said skull. The vertebrae. There’s three parts to the skull. Come on, Gwynedd, join in. The lower jaw. Hi. Jawbone. Name some bones. The most important bone of all. Yeah, that’s right. The mandible. The mandible. The mandible. Oh, that is the jaw. For chewing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is the jaw. What, what, what a segue. We’re gonna use our mandibles, and be mandibles. Yeah. Now, are we going to break into these things? It’s super inclusive and I appreciate it. Or are they going to be, given to us already opened and prepped? They’re going to be opened and prepped. We’re not going to open any cans today. Okay. But I brought like a really wild assortment of things and there’s a lot of them too. You got your green ensemble, your bagged salad hat in full effect. That’s nice. I’m a little bit, I mean, I don’t know, I feel like, especially Link, you might be a little bit nervous about some of this stuff coming out of the pipe. I will be honest that I am nervous about some of this stuff. Have you tasted it? I mean, not me personally, all of it. Someone on the Sporked team has. Like, for instance, the smoked oysters. Like, Justine always does the seafood taste test. Cause I do not want to. Me neither. But. Let’s start with something better than that. We’re gonna start with something better than that. I love that idea. Why don’t we start with, tortilla chip stuff. That’s like, let’s start easy. Why not. So we’re going to start with maybe like the nacho cheese. Yes. It’s a very big can of it. I know. I love that. I mean, does it come in a smaller can? Maybe, but why would you want a smaller can? Very hot she says. Oh, this looks like, take me out to the ballgame type nacho cheese. So that’s kind of what we were looking for. We wanted like the. Stevie’s peeing. Hey! What? Hold on. Right over there? Did she take her mic with her? She told me if you guys talk to her to let you know. So I just wanted to get ahead of that. All right. So, immediately. Okay, but this is a six pound can of queso, so that’s. Six pounds? – A party can. – Of nacho cheese. Yeah. Not queso. Nacho cheese. What’s the difference? I don’t know. Are you testing us? Kind of. I’m just making conversation. I think queso is spicy. Has other stuff in it. I think of queso as being more adjacent to actual cheese and nacho cheese can kind of be whatever it wants to be. Like this. I love cheese. I never, ever, by myself, buy nacho cheese. Me neither. I don’t love it that much. I, I, over the summer I renewed my vows to my favorite cheese. Okay, what was it? Cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese. Every day I would eat a bowl of cottage cheese with some crumbled up walnuts on top, some local honey drizzled over it, and cracked pepper. Yeah, that’s good. Lots of cracked pepper. Once I added that, it all came together. As a beautiful, sweet and peppery cheese. Well, not cheesy. Lumpy, white. – Clumpy. – Yeah. Cottage cheese is the cheese for people who don’t like cheese. I like it, don’t get me wrong. Well, I don’t hate this. But you like cheese, right? I. – I don’t. – Not really. I’m not, I don’t have a love affair with it. Okay. Well. But I like this. I know, this is. I mean, I’ve gone back to it three times now. It’s really like, it’s like movie theater. But why would you buy this much? Because it’s that much better than smaller versions? I think they do smells. They smell. They sell smaller cans of it. Okay. But I thought that this was good for comedic effect. Yeah, I’ve been laughing since you showed up. Everyone’s having a blast. Okay. So, since we have the tortilla chips out. Yeah? I feel like, you’re all kind of like, you know, oh, I think it’s nice that it’s spicy. I’ll say that. Yeah. It’s more than a little bit spicy too. That has some heat. It’s a good. It’s a good medium spice. I like it. Next we’re gonna try some canned salsa. Canned salsa. And it comes in a really cute container. I’m trying to find it. Is it over there? Yes. It has a, that has a, duck on it. Oh! Jalapeño sauce. Isn’t that just like so appealing? So this is like, you can eat it. They don’t even call it salsa. No. Well they do on this side. Yeah. But. Cause salsa is just sauce in Spanish. Oh, okay. And there you have it. I never really realized that until right now. Me neither until, maybe tomorrow I’ll realize it. – This is. – Is it hot? Let’s see. I like it. I think it tastes so much, like something you would get at a Mexican restaurant that like purées their salsa like really well. – It’s almost an enchilada sauce. – I gotta hand it to you. That is good. It’s really close to being an enchilada sauce and I think you could use it as one too. It’s also spicy. But not, it’s not too spicy. It’s not take your breath away. Why does it have a duck on it? It’s so cute. Sorry, I had a chip fly everywhere. I don’t see the duck. On the other side. Oh, a duck! A mallard! Is El Pato a duck? I don’t know. Gotta be, right? Does anyone know? Does? Stevie’s back, she’s done peeing. I love that. Stevie. Welcome back. Is pato duck in Spanish? I think so, actually. Seems like it has nothing to do with the jalapeño sauce. But the fact that, that is just a wild. Maybe there’s duck in it. You never know. It says it’s kosher. This is nice. It’s really good. The original. Both of these things would make. The original. Nachos really wet. The wetter the better. You know? There you go. – Like almost to the point of. – Largest bone in the human body is. Yeah, eat it with a spoon. So, it would never, it hadn’t occurred to me to buy canned salsa, really, and then I tried that and I was like, it’s so good. And now we love it. Yeah, I love it. It’s a part of us. I’m gonna leave this stuff out, because when the other stuff that I don’t like comes out, I might have to go back to this. Okay. How about we try some canned pasta? By Annie’s. Annie’s? So, yeah. So, you know, I typically think of Chef Boyardee in the can. When I think of pasta in the can. So this is a healthier version of that? So it’s organic. So there’s that. We tried every Chef Boyardee product as part of this taste test. We were trying to find the best tasting canned pasta in general, all of the SpaghettiOs, the kind that come with the little cut up hot dogs in it and all of that. Yeah. And. Those are good. The ones with the cut up hot dogs. I know, I like that too. But we thought this one was the best because this sauce isn’t as like weirdly sweet as like the SpaghettiOs sauce is. You know what I’m talking about? Yeah. Let’s find out. But they’re still shaped like SpaghettiOs. It’s a very simple, something that I don’t think I would ever make a choice to make for myself. But there’s like bunnies. You get to eat these little bunnies. Yeah, I’m not interested. I mean I’ll eat it now since it’s open and right here. I mean if I just eat the tomato sauce, what’s that like? What is it like? It’s like tomato soup. Like canned tomato soup. It’s fine and good. It’s fine and good. It’s like for kids, I think. It’s definitely for children. I mean, but if you have a grilled cheese, and you want to put, and you need, this is a good thing to have with it. I just like a regular tomato, but maybe as a treat. Dip your grilled cheese into some pasta. Pasta. If it’s a big carb day. Because you’ve got a marathon. Carb load. How have you been treating yourself, snack wise? What are you laughing at? How have I been treating myself snack wise? Yeah. I feel like I’m always eating, like, a bunch of things I shouldn’t be eating. So you don’t, so, at home, to like? Does your job ruin snacking for you? Kind of a little bit, yeah. So you don’t snack at home? You’re like, sorry. I mean, if I’m having friends over, I will bring home, like, fun stuff that I tried in the office. But like, for instance, I tried some Pringles flavors that I thought were really good, and I was like, I put them on my desk, I’m gonna bring these home. Then I just never bring them home. Right. Because I never feel like eating Pringles. It’s like, what am I gonna eat, Pringles at home? I know. Got to get, it’s that work life balance. You gotta keep a separation. So do you have like a, do you have a, like my cottage cheese thing? That’s my healthy thing. What’s your healthy thing? No, my healthy thing is probably a bowl, Greek yogurt, Fage, zero percent. – Fage? – Fage. What is that? It’s like the brand. Oh, so that’s the brand. It’s the one that most people call, how is it spelled? F-A-G-E? Yeah. People call it, yeah, other things. Everyone, everyone I’ve ever heard mispronounces it. Okay. I think it’s, I think it’s. – “Fage”. – “Fage”. I think it’s “Fa-yeah”, I don’t know. “Fage”. Oh, what do you put on it though? No, you got it right. A cut up honey crisp apple, cause that’s the best apple cultivar in my personal opinion. Alright. As a professional food taste tester and wearer of hats that say bagged salad on them. Okay. And, and honey. Honey. A honey drizzle. What about black pepper? No, but I would absolutely try that. I love that idea. Okay, a little bit of black pepper. What do we got next? Treat yourself with some black pepper. That’s my healthy food, though. Yeah, what do we want to try next? How about, how about chili dogs. Chili dogs. Okay? So we are trying the chili from the chili dogs? Yeah, so it’s not that. Nope. It’s that. So this is? Tony Packo’s. This is Tony Packo’s. And I think that people who live. Hot dog sauce. In and around Toledo, Ohio are gonna be very excited about us eating Tony Packo hot dog chili on this program. They’re very proud of their chili? They, yeah. Beef chili, no beans. Which, I don’t want no beans on my hot dog. It’s definitely more like, have you guys had Original Tommy’s? Yeah. Here in LA? Kind of more like that. Now, North Carolina boys. I love chili. We like a chili dog with some onions. Some mustard. – And some slaw. – That’s a good chili. But that chili, I think, would do the trick. It’s good. Yes. It’s just making me want those other ingredients to, but in terms of the chili. It’s the right consistent. It’s a good hot dog chili. And it’s, all you got to do is open the can. It’s right in there. That’s all you got to do. Tony Packo’s it and you just open it and eat it. That was, so we like rated, we ranked hot dog chili and then people in the comments were like, you didn’t try Tony Packo. So we went back and we did try it and we were like, yeah, this stuff is really good. He doesn’t even call it chili. He calls it hot dog sauce. – Yeah. – Hot dog sauce. This is, this is a, this is a good find because it’s hard to make a reliable hot dog chili. that I think fits my expectations. This is it. This has to complement the flavor of the hot dog, and I feel like that’s what this does, because it’s not too salty. It needs a duck on it, though. It absolutely does. That’s a good note for them, I think. I mean, they’re really close. They could just put a duck on it, it’s basically the same can. Basically the same. And this got famous because it was on MASH. Do you remember the program MASH? Yeah, I never watched it, but I’ve heard of it. I don’t think I did either. It was on, like, in reruns when I was a kid, but that’s it. So it’s been around a while. Yeah! That’s interesting. Alright, and I saved the hot dog for y’all to eat. Someone gets a whole chili dog. Me and Rhett ate off the same chili dog. I know, I really like chili dogs. You can’t eat them all the time, but. – It’s begging for. – Make it a treat. Diced onions. Yes. I agree. Okay, what else? How about some canned corned beef hash? Yes, I’m on board for this. What do you put this on? Your mouth. I think you can just serve it like, as a side with, with some eggs. I don’t know how. It is really good as a breakfast dish. I haven’t gotten it in a long time though. So, the white, what is the white stuff? Potatoes? Potatoes. It’s very tiny, tiny diced potatoes, which I actually love. And then. Small meat. But it tastes like liver. I know. This is. Always loved it. This is one of the. The beefiness is weird. This is one of the wilder taste tests I have done, and I am telling you, this is the best one we tried. They’re all a little bit weird. Yeah, it’s a weird dish. I mean, admittedly. What’s really in the meat, I dare ask? Do we want to know? It just says beef on it. – Yeah! – Is it beef parts? Just says beef. Beef, rehydrated potatoes. It could be. It could be other parts of beef. Potentially. It could be the same type of things that make up hot dogs. Yeah. Which I also enjoy. Yeah. Yeah. It’s not. I’m not proud of it. But when they figured out how to process meat, they had me in mind. That’s the first time I’ve ever had that. And it’s a lot better than I thought it would be. Okay, good. I thought it was even stranger. You put some, some, some sauce on that of some sort. Yeah. And some hot sauce. And some duck sauce. Well the jalapeño sauce, not the Asian duck sauce. This hot dog chili ranking and this corned beef hash ranking are like two of the most popular rankings on sporked.com. People really like this stuff. So now, you know. I need a Hormel T-shirt. I think that’d be cool. You could do that. A Hormel hat. I mean I definitely could understand how if you like, cracked and started scrambling an egg around all that, it would really be a good consistency. Now you’re talking. So I am feeling that. Matt’s going to pee. Okay. All right. What, he might be doing more than that, you don’t know. Did you say that about me? I, no. We know you don’t do more than that. I didn’t respond at all when he said that. Alright, moving on. How about Spam! Alright, now we’re getting a little special. Korean barbecue Spam. It’s brand new Spam. Okay, there it is. Korean barbecue Spam. That you can make, Korean barbecue flavored burgers with. But we tried this and we really liked it. Do you like Spam at all? You know, surprisingly so. I don’t think I do. Okay. I like a lot of processed meat, but I never really fell in love with Spam, but the flavor of this is great. Wow. It’s not. It’s. I’d be doggone. This is my first time trying this too, actually. One of our freelancers reviewed it and really liked it. But. Pretty good. It’s like they made Spam taste good. Lando is going to be so happy because he’s been making Spam musubis at home for like, months now. This for Spam musubi would be really, really good. It’s really gingery or something. Right? Yes. It’s got a lot of flavors in there that really send it in the right direction. Sizzle some sliced Spam, Korean barbecue flavored, in a pan. Mix cabbage, kimchi, and vinegar in a bowl. Spread sriracha mayo on buns. Assemble the burger and enjoy. That’s all there is to it. Sizzle pork and. This is the, this is the highlight so far for me. Oh good, I’m so glad. Yeah, I might tell somebody about this. Like at a party. It’s nice. If the conversation gets boring. Yeah. Hey guys, gather around. You’re searching for something to laugh about. I gotta tell you something about Spam. Well I wouldn’t do it like that. I would just wait for a pause and be like, you heard of Korean barbecue flavored Spam? I. – Let’s see where it goes. – Hey, you won me over, Sporked. Spam. Spam. Well, Gwynedd didn’t taste it personally. I’m not calling her. Finally! On Spam. You’ve won me over. The jury’s been out. Whoever that intern is you were referring to. Okay, we cannot end this without tasting both. Let’s bring them out at the same time. Smoked oysters. Okay, so. And this not tuna tuna. This is, there is actually more than you would expect. There are. Vegan tuna options. Vegan canned tuna. Which is pretty wild, isn’t it? You can kind of get vegan anything now. Yeah, wild caught. He’s back! How was it? How was it? It was a good pee. It was a good pee. Nice. Okay. What do you think that vegan tuna is made from? I don’t want to know until I taste this. Okay. Let me try it. It’s not exciting, I’ll tell you that. It looks like tuna, right? I like it because it’s not tuna. It’s not, it doesn’t have a fishy taste. Like you can’t get the taste of the ocean if you don’t have the ocean. Right, so it’s like, what does it taste like? Chicken of the can. Yeah, I know, it’s just stuff. Yeah, it’s, but it’s. Just stuff and oil. I’m just trying to look at what it is and. It doesn’t taste good, I don’t think. But, I feel like, maybe. It’s bland and oily, so I kinda like it. If you threw it as a protein into something else that should have had tuna in it. Yeah. That, you know, where you’re like trying to enjoy the like, cheese and other stuff. Is it seitan? It’s water, wheat, and soy proteins. Yeah. It’s just a bunch of soy stuff. Like all fake meats. I like it. So, I think if you, yeah, if you made like a tuna salad or something with those, this, it would be good. Because you could. Tuna style flakes in sunflower oil. It’s so weird. What will they think of next? Yeah, that’s not bad. Well, we have some fancy smoked oysters in sunflower oil. Well, we’re out of time. I really don’t want to eat them either. But they’re smoked. I was like. When I looked back over the list I made, I was like, why did I do this? Oh, they’re smoked, though. I think I just wanted to challenge all of us. Just take a big whiff of it. This was a Justine taste test. Does she like them? Yeah. I like them. I like smoked mussels and oysters. What do you do with canned smoked oysters? You put them on like a toast or a cracker with some kind of like cream cheese situation. Maybe some capers, some red onions, you know? Well, there’s plenty to go around, Stevie. If you’re into it, then you might like that, Geisha. But if you’re not, like us. What’d you call me? Oh yeah, Stevie’s geisha, that’s why she likes it. Oh yeah, you are a geisha. I get it. I ate some nacho cheese, turned my frown upside down. There we go. If you like smoked oysters, these are the good ones, the Geisha ones. But, not for me. I’m not a fan. I didn’t know they were gonna be that mushy. Yeah. But the Spam though. The Spam. Trifecta. That’s what you need to write home about. We’re hitting the road for Good Mythical Tour again. Come see us in Dallas on November 15th, and Houston on the 16th. goodmythicaltour.com for info and tickets.